Hogwarts Idol

Hogwarts Idol

Chapter 8 Lord Voldemort

***

Jaina: Welcome to another episode of Hogwarts Idol. I'm your host Jaina and we have the results of all your halfway voting. It looks like Sirius Black is in the lead. *Sirius jumps up and cheers then sprays the Slytherins with Bulbous Pus* But that doesn't mean our next challenger is going to give up. Here is... *pauses and looks down at the card in her hand* Er... Lord Voldemort? *everyone flinches at the sound of his name except Dumbledore. For a fleeting instant, Harry thought he saw a gleam of something like triumph in Dumbledore's eyes* (Yes that is a direct quote from GoF! I saw that Dumbledore! Bad!)

Voldemort: *walks onto the stage wearing long, flowing black robes with the Imperial March Theme song playing* Yes, I am not a student here anymore, but I'm going to enter anyway and win. *turns to glare at the judges, Hermione, Harry, and Ron* Or else.

Jaina: I don't think you can enter, I mean this is for current Hogwarts students already. *pauses* And can you turn down that theme music. You've already made your entrance.

Voldemort: *claps twice and the music stops* I am here and you don't have anyone else to sing for this episode so you will let me perform.

Jaina: *snaps her fingers* Darn, you're right. Ok, you may sing, er, what are you going to sing?

Voldemort: "The World is Not Enough" by Garbage.

Jaina: That sounds interesting, good luck. You will be judged by our guests from the future, Hermione, Ron, and Harry. *Hermione and Ron try to duck behind the table but Harry sits up straight and waves at Voldemort*

Voldemort: *nods and walks up to the stage in front of the judges* I Am Lord Voldemort. I will be performing "The World is Not Enough" by Garbage. *he claps twice, the music starts and he turns around*

I know how to hurt

*he puts a Hufflepuff under the Cruciatus Curse*

I know how to heal

*he waves his wand over the Slytherins and heals them of their blisters from the Bulbous Pus*

I know what to show

And what to conceal

*he points his wand at another Hufflepuff and they disappear forever*

I know when to talk

And I know when to touch

No-one ever die from wanting too much

*he shrugs and a flash of green light hits a Ravenclaw, but is bounced off them and kills a Hufflepuff*

The world is not enough

But it is such a perfect place to start...my love

*he starts to dance around wiggling and moving his hips, winking at Dumbledore*

And if you're strong enough

Together we can take the world apart...my love

*he takes a beach ball that is colored like the Earth and pops it, with an evil grin*

People like us

Know how to survive

There's no point in living

If you can't feel the life

*he shoots a beam of green light at a Gryffindor but it rebounds off them and kills another Hufflepuff*

We know when to kiss

We know when to kill

*Another Hufflepuff falls over dead and Voldemort looks innocently over at Dumbledore who is shaking his head*

If we can't have it all

Then nobody will

*he tries to kill another Ravenclaw, but since they are useful it rebounds and kills another Hufflepuff*

The world is not enough

But it is such a perfect place to start...my love

And if you're strong enough

Together we can take the world apart...my love

*he moved up to where Dumbledore was sitting and tried to seduce him. Dumbledore looked tempted but waved him off because there were students gawking at them*

I feel safe

I feel scared

I feel ready

And yet unprepared

The world is not enough

*he finishes by producing fireworks from his wand that accidentally kill three Hufflepuffs but doesn't harm anyone else. He claps his hands twice and the music stops*

Jaina: *scratches her head* Well, now that we have only half the Hufflepuffs left, let's hear what the judge's think of your performance, Lord Voldemort. Hermione?

Hermione: Well, that was pretty good, Mr. Lord Voldemort, but I don't think it was Hogwarts Idol material. And I feel sorry for all of those poor Hufflepuffs.

Voldemort: *he narrowed his eyes at her* Why you filthy little Mudblood! *he raised his wand when Harry jumped up*

Harry: Don't call her that! *he pointed his wand at Voldemort* Crucio! *however, the spell didn't work right and Voldemort just laughed*

Jaina: Now, now Harry. Don't start using Dark Magic or Unforgivables. What would we do if our Hero turned evil or whiney? *Harry sat back down* Ok, so why don't we hear from Ron.

Ron: *he sat back in his chair* No. For one thing, how could someone evil be an idol? Little kids would be looking up to you. You don't want to disappoint them, now do you? Also, you don't know how to work the stage. You need charisma. Then there is always the small fact that you can not sing! So, my answer is no.

Voldemort: You and your pitiful family will pay for this! *he glared at Ron*

Jaina: Well, it looks like you will not be going on, Voldie. How do you feel?

Voldemort: *he turns on Jaina* How do you think I feel?

Jaina: *shrugs* I don't know, that's why I asked you. Ok, what are you going to do now?

Voldemort: Kill the Potters and take their place in the contest. *he narrows his eyes at Harry* Now, I am going to hunt down and kill your family, boy. *he clapped his hands twice and the Imperial March started up again* You haven't seen the last of me. *with an evil crackle, a smoke cloud emerged around him and when it cleared he was gone*

Hermione: But he can't Apparate or Disapparate on the school grounds, it's in Hogwarts: A History. And that book is the Bible! *she looked up at Dumbledore, who just had a small smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye*

Jaina: Well, he is Voldie and if he wants to Disapparate on Hogwarts grounds or come back from the dead; then I guess he can. *she shrugs* Anyways, tune in next week for another performance that will be from a Hogwarts student, hopefully. And next week there will also be a half way vote for who you would like to come back that have been dismissed by our judges. Stay tuned and good night! *goes off to see if she could have a theme song play when she entered a room*