Eudice Eusyram: The Multi-Chapter Fic

The Order was having a presentation to tell everyone about the Dark Lord Grindelwald, who was evil! Lupin showed them all a picture of Grindelwald who was evil and very ugly.

"Name: Grindelwald," Lupin said, "as we know him today." He then changed the slide and it showed a younger man, who looked more normal, but who was still very evil! "Name: Euclid Eusyram."

"From 1942 to 1945, absolute ruler of more than quarter of our world!" Eudice said. "From Europe to America!"

"The second-to-last of the horrible Dark Lords to be overthrown," said Professor McGonagall, who was strict, but very nice.

"I must confess, other Order people," said Mundungus Fletcher, who liked to steal cauldrons, "I've always had a sneaking admiration for this one."

"He was the best of the Dark Lords and the most dangerous!" agreed Lupin.

"This...romanticism about an evil Dark Lord is..." Eudice began.

"Eudice, we men have a steak of barbarism in us," Lupin replied. "Appalling, but there nevertheless."

"There were no Brittany Spears albums under his rule," Mundungus said.

"And as little freedom," Eudice contested.

"No mindless killing until he started mindlessly killing everyone," added McGonagall, who was strict, but very nice.

"Everyone," Eudice said, sounding appalled. Everyone laughed.

"You misunderstand," Lupin told her, "we can admire Grindelwald and be against him all at the same time."

"You don't know what I've had to go through!" Eudice replied. "He was nothing more than a horrible drunk who beat and raped me when I was a little girl!"

"I'm sorry, I had no idea!" said Lupin and with that he and Eudice had sex together so she would feel better. When they were done, they decided to continue with the presentation. Because she didn't feel like going to all the trouble of getting dressed again, Eudice continued with the presentation completely naked. The men kept getting distracted by her incredibly gorgeous body, but she didn't notice all this because she was prefect.

"Anyway," she said, "as we were saying, Grindelwald is back!" Everyone gasped.

"Surely you can't be serious!" Mundungus said in shock.

"We are," Eudice told him, "and don't call me 'Shirley.'"

"After Dumbledore defeated him and everything, how could he come back?" Mundungus asked Eudice desperately.

"Because he's smart and very evil!" Eudice answered. "We'll have to try our best to defeat him or he'll take over the world!" McGonagall, who was strict, but very nice, looked worried.

"How will we tell Harriet Potter?" she asked. Harriet Potter used to be Harry Potter until he was turned into a girl by Snape, who was evil! However, Harriet was now very comfortable with her new gender.

"We'll just have to go to her with the truth," said Eudice, because she was perfect. "I know she'll be able to handle it!"

"Are you sure?" asked Molly Weasley, who was overly overprotective.

"Yes, I'm sure!" Eudice said. "I think Harriet's old enough to understand now."

"What d'you mean Grindelwald's back?" Harriet asked incredulously. "I thought Dumbledore defeated him in 1945."

"He did, but now he's back," Eudice explained, "and now we have to defeat him again."

"That's awful!" Hermione said. "I'd better explain all the academic stuff I know about him to make sure you all know how bad this is."

"Don't bother," Ron said idly, "I like being ignorant."

"Being ignorant is stupid!" Hermione declared. "Only someone ignorant would want to be ignorant."

"Well, that's good, because I am ignorant," Ron replied.

"Will you two stop arguing!" Ginny said loudly because she had a type-A personality.

"Yeah and we need to get on with the plot now," Eurydice added smartly, making a casual meta-reference.

"Oh, right," said Ron, who, as usual, didn't understand what was going on because he was ignorant.