Dates, Pranks and Marauders

Chapter IX- Waking Up

Remus tapped lightly on the door to the hospital wing for it to be opened quickly by the fastidious Madam Pomfrey.

'What do you need now, Mr. Lupin?' she said, before seeing Sirius' corpse-like form, floating some feet behind him.

'Well, you see, it's not me, this time. It's Sirius. He, uh, ran into a tree, completely by accident of course,' Remus told her shiftily.

'Why is he covered in food like that? What were you children doing?' the matron asked, already pulling out her wand and performing a simple cleaning spell.

'Well, this is Sirius we're talking about,' James told her chuckling.

'Alright, go on. Take him away now,' Madam Pomfrey said concisely.

'What? Don't you think he ought to stay the night at least? He is unconscious,' Lily asked uncertainly.

'No, he's not crossing this threshold. I've done all I can for him,' she said, turning to go.

'Are you sure he's OK? Shouldn't you check him for a concussion or something?' Peter asked, eyeing Sirius' swelling forehead.

'He's fine, now take him away, I'm not letting that boy into any ward under my protection,' she told them forcefully.

'Why?' Remus asked her as respectfully as he could, considering the outrage showing on his face on his friend's behalf.

'The last time I let that into the wing, just to remove a splinter, I walked away to get the tweezers, and came back to find that he had set fire to his own bed. I don't know how he managed to do it in five seconds, but that child is a menace! The only way he'll come back in here is over my dead body!' This was the most emotional Remus had ever seen the matron get. She was looking downright murderous.

'And, how long ago was this?' James asked.

'Two weeks,' the matron said sharply putting her hands on her hips. 'Now, if you children need nothing else, then I suggest you get him into bed and get some ice on that forehead.' With that she pursed her lips and slammed the door shut.

'But what if he needs any potions?' Lily called through the closed door.

'Then one of you come and get them, don't send him!' They all sat stunned for a moment.

'Wow, Sirius is an idiot...' Remus said, before resignedly floating Sirius up the stairs.

****

'Sirius, you have to get up now; it's been three days. And you're snoring something terrible,' James said, shaking Sirius roughly.

'Eh,' Sirius told him groggily, rolling over and making a cocoon out of his sheets. Within seconds he was back asleep and snoring as loud as ever.

'Really Sirius, no one can sleep in the whole house,' Remus said, getting very annoyed with Sirius. He had been conscious for two days, he just didn't want to get out of bed; this was not surprising since Sirius missed lessons every chance he could.

'Mmph,' Sirius' muffled voice said from beneath a pillow.

'It's not funny anymore, Sirius, you really need to get up. Rise and shine,' James said attempting to pull the bed clothes off of Sirius.

'When you rise, you'll shine,' came another muffled response from the cocoon. Sirius snored even louder from under that pillow. Lily's laughter had now joined the rest of them, as she walked into the dorm, a questioning look on her face.

'What is he doing? He sounds like a grizzly bear. We can hear him all the way in the girls' dorm.'

'Stop your snoring! You're keeping me awake,' Sirius said matter-of-factly; this was far too much for the others; laughter was rampant in the sixth year boys dormitory for quite a while afterwards.

'Is something blocking his windpipe?' Remus stopped laughing for a moment to ponder.

'Uh-uh,' Sirius said, no one being sure whether this was an answer to Remus' question or just a statement. The dormitory went silent for a moment, before gales of laughter rose up again.

'Maybe we should ask him embarrassing questions, since he doesn't seem quite right in the head just now,' Lily suggested.

'Yeah James, you do it,' Remus said, nudging his friend towards Sirius.

'No way, when he wakes up he'll be angry. Peter should do it,' James stated, stepping back from Sirius' bed.

'Why me?' Peter asked.

'Leave me alone or I'll slap your face off,' Sirius growled grumpily, pausing his snores for a moment.

'Come on, Sir, Christmas Break is in two days and you need to get packed,' James said, noticing, not for the first time, that Sirius' belongings were strewn about the floor of the whole dormitory. At the mention of Christmas, you would have thought an electric current had just gone through Sirius' bed.

'Really? Have I been asleep that long?' Sirius then realised that he hadn't changed his clothes since Saturday, and it was very cold indeed in the dorm. Sirius cursed vehemently, then said,

'Why is it so bloody cold in here?'

'It's December, we're in a castle, you're not wearing socks. What did you expect?' Lily told him, her voice making him realise that all he was wearing was his undershirt and rolled up trousers, which were still slightly sticky from all the food.

'I'm disgusting,' he told them, holding up his arms like he couldn't bear to have them touching him.

'Yes, you are,' Remus smirked.

'And it's your fault!' Sirius slurred, pointing to all of them with a wild gesture.

'It's not my fault!' James started. 'You're the one who pranked me in the first place! If you hadn't have started it, I wouldn't have needed to get revenge!'

'Well, if you hadn't been so mean, and hitting me all the time, I wouldn't have needed to prank you!' Sirius hollered drunkenly, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

'I wouldn't have hit you if you hadn't been constantly making fun of me!' James said, colour rising in his face.

'Aw, poor baby Jamsie can't take a little teasing. You deserved it, didn't he Remus?' Sirius babied, now turning to Remus.

'Well, he was acting a little odd- No! You two are not dragging me into this, I'm not involved.' Remus stated, backing away with his hands raised defensively.

'Lily knows, don't you Lily. He deserved to be made fun of!' Sirius looked pointedly at Lily.

'Er,' Lily looked to James, 'I'm not getting involved in this either,' Lily said, crossing her arms and joining Remus. Before Sirius could say anything, Peter said,

'I'm not involved either, don't you even start with me.'

'Fine! But I'm right and they all know it. They're just trying not to hurt your over-inflated ego!' Sirius said, now completely awake.

'My over-inflated ego?! Don't even let me start on your ego.' James was not at all smiling and was now standing up menacingly.

'What ego? I'm just better than everyone else at everything,' Sirius stated.

'I'm going to hit you!' James started towards Sirius with his fist raised.

'Oh yeah? Well you hit like a girl! I'm not afraid of you. Bring it on!' Sirius said, getting into a sparring pose. Lily looked horrified, and kept reaching out her hand as if she dearly wanted to stop them. She clutched onto Remus' arm, and said indignantly,

'Aren't you going to stop them!?'

'No,' Remus stated, watching the fun.

'Well, why not?' Lily asked, digging her fingernails into his arm.

'Trust me, they do this all the time. It's best just to let them have it out.'

'Oh, OK.'

James' and Sirius' fight was turning quite comical now. Sirius had transformed into Padfoot, and was viciously ripping into James' trouser leg. James was repeatedly kicking Sirius in the ribs.

'That's not fair and you know it!' James bellowed at the large dog, 'turn back, now!'

Padfoot knocked James to the ground, and dragged his struggling body across the room. Then he roughly placed his paws on either of James' shoulders, and changed back.

'Fine!' Sirius yelled back, beginning to punch James in the face. The two of them rolled on the ground, beating each other in every way they could. Finally James pulled out his wand to curse Sirius in the stomach, but Sirius was too quick for that and threw the wand away. It skipped across the stone floor and rolled to a halt at Remus' feet.

'Is it always this bad,' Lily whispered, watching in utter terror as they beat the living daylights out of each other.

'Of course, that's why they're such good friends,' Remus stated as if this should be very apparent, picking the wand up off the ground and pocketing it.

'No magic whatsoever!' Sirius growled, not watching the wand fly away.

'That's fine with me!' James screamed hoarsely, before grabbing Sirius' head and hitting it against the stone-flagged floor over and over again. With one particularly loud 'THONK,' Sirius stopped struggling and laid down limp. Lily gasped and James dropped him suddenly, throwing his hands up in innocence.

'Sir, are you OK?' James whispered, turning white. When there was no answer, he leant back down and said, barely audibly, 'Sirius?'

'AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!' Sirius roared, leaping from the ground and putting James in a headlock and starting to punch him again. Sirius' head was very, very, very, very, very, very hard. James' arms flailed pitifully, but Sirius wouldn't let go.

'Say that I'm right and I'll let you go!'

'NEVER!' James struggled downward, causing Sirius to flip over James' back.

'You'll never get free if you don't! I'm well-rested and I'll stay here forever if I have to!'

'NO!'

'James, I think you'd better do as he says,' Remus said quietly from across the room, a smile on his face.

'Say it James, say it now!' Sirius said through gritted teeth.

'I won't!' James cried out, now punching Sirius in the kidneys. They both were beginning to get very tired by now. Just as Sirius began to lose his grip, James' punches became more and more weak. Both Sirius and James started to sink to the floor, panting.

'Truce?' Sirius asked, shaking the sweat off his hair like a wet dog.

'Yeah, alright. D'you want to go and get something to eat?' James breathed, wiping his brow.

'I haven't eaten in three days! Are you kidding? Of course I want to go.' With that the two of them left without saying a word to the others.

'Well, that was very strange...' Lily said uncertainly, walking off to her dormitory to go back to sleep.

END OF CHAPTER NINE