Dates, Pranks and Marauders

Chapter VIII- A Very Sirius Date (Part II)

Susie Nugent felt very sick indeed. Her head was pounding, she could feel her blood in her veins, and her vision was hopelessly blurred. The last thing she could remember was dozens of ugly faces running at her with malicious grins, and Sirius Black laughing at her the whole time. She hoped sincerely that she was in the hospital wing.

As everything swam lazily back into focus, Susie's headache worsened. Far from being in any sort of bed, she was outside, on the grounds, in the snow, with Sirius Black.

'Oh, good,' Sirius said, looking very disappointed, 'you're awake. I was hoping I wouldn't have to drag you up to the castle. You were really heavy to drag out here you know.'

'I am leaving!' Susie said in disgust. As she got up and started gathering her belongings, Sirius did some very quick reasoning. If he let her go, then he could be rid of her several hours earlier than he could have ever hoped, then again, if James and the others saw a girl walk out on him, he could never live it down, not to mention that his reputation would be ruined forever.

'Wait!' Sirius said, grabbing her arm and pulling her back; his eyes looked haunted.

'No! Let go of me!' Susie yelled, twisting away from him.

'But I can't eat all this food on my own!' Sirius lied, gesturing angrily at the picnic basket as he took off his cloak and scarf. Susie now had to do some lightening fast thinking. If she walked out on him, she would never have to deal with him again, but that would make her look petty, materialistic and rude; it would also make the other girls in her year question her judgment, to walk out on Sirius Black of all people.

'Fine,' she said, putting a smile on her face, and trying to look friendly.

'Did you just smile?' Sirius asked in disbelief, while loosening his tie slightly. 'I didn't know you could.'

'Yes...I love to smile,' she said, speaking through a very forced, very toothy smile. 'Now, why don't we eat?'

'Alright!' Sirius said, eagerly tearing into the basket, happily bringing out a large turkey leg and beginning to gnaw the meat off in a very canine fashion. Susie's bright smile began to fall into a grimace as she saw the meat flying in all directions. Sirius quickly set the meat down and cleaned himself up, looking at her apologetically.

'Is it getting hot out here?' he asked, taking his tie off, and adding it to the growing pile of outer clothes.

'Excuse me?' Susie questioned, shivering beneath her heavy cloak, 'it's below freezing out here!'

'Ah, so it is.' Sirius rolled up his sleeves and wiped the sweat off his forehead. 'I'm burning up. Maybe you want my cloak as well, you look kind of cold.' He now began to take handfuls of snow and put them down the back of his shirt.

'What are you doing?' she asked in total confusion.

'What?' he asked, his voice muffled as his sweater vest rose over his face and was thrown carelessly on top of his scarf.

'You just put snow in your shirt,' she stated uncertainly.

'Ah...so I did.' Sirius had now unbuttoned his shirt, and was fanning himself with his tongue hanging out.

'What's going on, Sirius? Is this supposed to be some sort of seduction? Here we are, alone, it's dark, freezing, and here you are, claiming that you're hot and stripping down,' Susie said, edging away from him.

'What?' Sirius asked distractedly, tossing his shoes and socks away. He now sat cross-legged on a charmed picnic blanket, in an undershirt and rolled up trousers. 'Let's just, uh, finish the meal, shall we?'

'Fine,' she said quickly, reaching for the basket. Perhaps she could get this date over with more quickly than she had thought.

'Dear Lord!' Sirius yelled, his head buried in the snow. 'Why is it SO hot out here?! And why does this feel so familiar?' He furiously attempted to roll his trousers up more, but succeeded only in falling to the ground in frustration. He took off his belt, then realised that Susie was still there, so sat in a miserable heap in the snow near the picnic basket.

Just then, Sirius noticed one of the pies, of its own accord, beginning to float out of the basket towards him. As they both watched, it drifted to a vertical position, then forcefully flew straight at Sirius' face. Fortunately, Sirius had enough sense and reflexive skill to duck, however, this caused the large, sticky pie to hit Susie squarely in the nose.

Sirius was greatly torn between wanting to laugh and abject horror at what had happened to his date, which had now turned from a fiasco into an outright debacle. They both sat in silence for a moment before cupcakes, which they hadn't even asked for, came shooting out of the basket in a very machine-gun like fashion.

'This is the worst date ever! I'm never going on a date with you again! You did this on purpose!' Susie shrieked, wiping some icing out of her ear.

'Well that's fine with me!' Sirius yelled back, scooping up a handful of mashed potatoes and flinging them after her. He then slipped in some sort of pudding, and went sprawling onto the ground. As he laid in a pile of self-pity, just to add injury to insult, a large pitcher of hot chocolate poured angrily onto his face. 'I hate the world.'

He lay on the ground, feeling like a Phoenix on its deathbed, until he heard a familiar set of chuckles. His eyes went wide and he sat bolt upright.

'YOU!' he cried out, pointing to the exact place where James and the others sat concealed beneath the Invisibility cloak. 'I KNOW you're there. I can't see you, but I'm going to hunt you down and wring your necks!' It was very difficult to take him seriously when he was wearing very little clothing and was covered from head to toe in various food items.

Lily stepped out from beneath the cloak and took a bow, laughing so hard that James had to support her.

'You're in on it, too!? I don't care if you are a girl, you're going down!' As threatening as this sounded, the others couldn't help but laugh as he slipped in some more pudding and fell down in his blind running rage.

'WHERE ARE YOU!' he said stupidly, icing now completely filling his vision.

'To your left,' Remus told him as he ushered everyone to Sirius' right; there was really no need for the Invisibility cloak at this point.

'Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!' Sirius ran into a tree, knocking himself senseless. All laughter stopped short, as they realised what a serious situation this could be. After a spill like that, he could be seriously injured. Lily ran over to him and flipped him over.

'He's out cold,' she told the others with wide eyes. 'What should we do?'

'I guess...I guess we'd better take him up to Madam Pomfrey,' James said. Remus rolled his eyes as James checked Sirius' pulse.

'Is he alive?' Peter asked, nibbling a piece of pie he had retrieved from the picnic basket.

'Oh come on, Peter, of course he's alive,' Lily told him, not looking so sure.

They all stared at Sirius' prone form for a few moments, no one daring to touch him.

'Really, stop it all of you. He's alive. He's just unconscious. I swear...' Remus grumbled, getting out his wand and performing a simple levitating charm. The others followed at a distance, still not completely convinced that Sirius wasn't dead.

END OF CHAPTER EIGHT