Dudders' First Year At Smeltings

"Ooh, Vernon, doesn't he look SMART!" Petunia was busy fussing over Dudley, fixing his new Smeltings uniform. Dudley, admiring himself in the mirror, had to keep moving from side to side because the mirror could only show a portion of him at a time.

"Er...yes, he certainly does." Vernon was being a bad daddy, not even looking up from his newspaper once. Petunia stomped over to him ad snatched the paper, ripping it into shreds with her glue-on nails.

"Petunia, what in the bloody hell are you doing!? I was reading that!"

"I said, doesn't he look SMART!" she repeated.

"Oh, quite. I'm proud of you, son," Vernon grumbled, and gave his son a semi-hug. Dudley looked at the clock.

"Mummy, we have to go or else I'll be late on my first day!" Dudley cried, jiggling to the door. Petunia and Vernon followed, and once everyone was packed into the car, they set off for Smeltings Prep School. The ride was very squished, all because Dudley insisted on getting the passenger seat. Petunia, sitting in the back, was still cleaning his Smeltings stick with Lysol, while Vernon, who unfortunately decided to drive, was squishing Dudley out of existence, and vice versa. Luckily they reached Smeltings in about half an hour, and so Dudley wobbled all the way up the steps to school in under two minutes, very fast for him.

"Hey Piers! Guess it's time to show Smeltings who the new bosses are!" Dudley cried.

"Yeah, let's go!" The two eagerly bashed the doors open, only to be scared out of their wits.

"Who...who are they?" Dudley pointed a trembling finger at a group of boys in the eighth grade of Smeltings. They were huge, maybe just under six feet, and each probably weighed just under 300 pounds. That was bigger than Dudley would ever get! They were smashing innocent students with their sticks, especially sixth graders. Soon, the boys were upon them.

"SO, guess this one here's gonna replace us in three years. My name's Harry and you'd do best not to get in my way. Even our, um..."

"Replacers?" another suggested.

"Yeah, those...can get sticked by us." Harry terrified Dudley. Wow, that felt odd to say.

"We are the Hog Squad, and if you mess with us, we stick you! Let's go, guys!" Harry and his gang turned around and stomped back down the hallway.

"Whew! I'm terrified!" Piers, the one who never got scared, was apparently terrified.

"Oh yeah." Dudley was not, however, referring to the Hog Squad. He was referring to the girl that just entered the front hallway. She was as big as Dudley, but not nearly as wide. She had lovely dark hair, rolled up in a little knot, and a beautiful set of clear blue eyes. She smiled at a friend, and they began talking.

Dudley simply could not stop staring at her. He thought she was the prettiest thing he'd ever seen.

"Er...Dudley? You okay?" Piers slapped his face, and Dudley snapped back to reality.

"Ooh, so preeeeeeeeeeety...." Dudley was still rambling about her. He was, unfortunately, in love.