How Hogwarts Became a Nudist Colony

How Hogwarts Became a Nudist Colony

Part 5: Clothing Council

Harry covered his face with his hands. This was going to be a long story.

Dumbledore began. "As you know, the students were now aiming to bring their terms to me. The protest gained fury and the students were in need of a final act--something to catch the attention of, well, me."

Harry's head shot up. "Excuse me, but I would think that your attention was fully caught."

"Indeed, Harry," Dumbledore said. "Nevertheless, I had not taken the time to listen to Ms. Granger. One could say that the repercussions were well disserved."

"Repercussions?" Harry looked dumbfounded.

"Can't we get back to the parts that make Potter uncomfortable?" Draco snapped.

"You're just loving this, aren't you, Malfoy?" Harry growled.

"Yes, actually." Draco grinned. "It's not my fault you're so bloody insecure with your primitive sexual tendencies, Potter. The concept of nudity alone puts you on the edge. Yup, you're a nutcase. Completely bonkers."

"I'M BLOODY BONKERS! YOU PEOPLE ARE RUNNING AROUND WITHOUT YOUR CLOTHES, AND I'M THE ONE WHO'S MAD!!"

Draco rolled his eyes. "Oh, here comes 'caps-lock Harry'. So predictable."

"AHEM!"

Harry dove to the floor, expecting Umbridge to appear. ("Apparently she left a 'scar'," Draco sneered.) He looked up, however, noticing that it was just his Headmaster clearing his throat. Harry crawled back into his seat looking shamefaced.

Ron stared at his friend with an arched brow. "Merlin's sake, Harry, I think you are loosing it."

"Told you," Draco coughed.

"That would explain the last hour of my life." Harry shrugged his shoulders, feeling defeated.

"Let us get back to the tale," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling in amusement. "Ahh, yes, we were about to get to the forming of the Clothing Council."

Harry shook his head; this sounded like the beginning to a very bad E! News special.

The Great Hall. Eight hours, sixteen minutes, forty seconds after Hermione became a Demi Moore fan.

The Flashing Brigade gathered at the faculty table. Hermione sat front and center, Ron and Ginny to her sides. The large group of nude students was sitting on top of their tables, the houses mixed. The house banners were removed, replaced by flags that read "Unity through Nudity!" and some house elf nonsense that pretty much everyone ignored.

Hermione stood before the group, and they became silent, eager to hear their leader's plan.

"So far, we have been successful," Hermione began. There was a roar of applause that she paused for. "However, we have only just begun. The hard part has yet to come. As I told you earlier, we must bring our case before the Headmaster. The Flashing Brigade has decided to hold a Council meeting with the Headmaster and his followers--the Knicker Huggers as so many of you have nicknamed them." There was giggling from the group. "We must come to an agreement. We must give them our terms, and we must do so in orderly fashion. I leave you all to turn the Great Hall into a proper council room while we fetch the enemy."

Blaise Zabini, a very hot male Slytherin currently surrounded by young women, stood up. "But how do you expect to get Dumbledore and the others down from his office?"

Hermione grinned. "Leave that up to the Flashing Brigade. We have a secret weapon. Do not fear. We will topple their defenses!"

The students cheered her on as she and her Brigade left the hall, smiles plastered on their faces.

Hermione did indeed have a secret weapon. His name was Severus Snape.

~*~

Severus Snape felt free. It had been a long time since he had gone commando beneath his robes (not since his fourth year, to be exact). However, this comfortable sensation did nothing to calm his nerves.

"I don't see how this is necessary," he said, quite Snapishly.

Hermione frowned, but not because her potion's master was now wearing clothing. No that was not the reason. No it wasn't. Well, maybe it was a reason. But not the only reason.

"Professor, we need you to go in," she said. "You're our number one man, so we need you break their lines."

"You silly girl, they have no lines!" Snape replied. "They're holding out in an office. Rations are low. They won't last long."

"'ermione, I can't believe I'm saying this, but he's right," Ron commented. "They're going to break soon. When they do, we'll be there to catch their blouses."

"Oh, shut up, Ron," Hermione said. "We need to have Snape talk Dumbledore into coming to the meeting. Severus...umm...Professor, we need to resolve this peacefully and you're the only person who can talk some sense into them. Understood?"

"Yes, Ms. Granger." Snape smiled, causing Hermione to blush and the rest of Flashing Brigade to blanche. "Though I am not the most skilled negotiator in this room, I am the only adult, so I suppose it is the most logical course of action." He stopped a moment. "That is if logic has anything to do with this situation."

Draco smirked. "Don't question it, Professor. Just go with it. And enjoy the view."

"Nice advise, Draco," Ron added, patting the Slytherin on the back.

"Thanks there, Ron."

Snape looked bewildered by the odd exchange. "If I didn't know better. . . ."

"What?" Hermione asked. "Oh, never mind. We haven't the time for pondering. Professor, are you ready?"

Snape nodded.

Hermione approached the door to Dumbledore's office.

"Headmaster Dumbledore! Hear me! This is Hermione Granger. We are sending in a negotiator to give our demands!"

The passage began to open and Severus Snape stepped forward.

~*~*~*~

10 minutes later

~*~*~*~

Snape sat in the center of the group of Knicker Huggers . . . ahem...teachers. He was currently in a stare down with Dumbledore. Minerva frowned at the two men, obviously wishing that she could pace the room.

"Albus?" Snape asked.

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, you've done very well indeed, Severus."

McGonagall pursed her lips. "At what risk?" she snapped. "The school is in chaos! Thankful we have not been attacked in the last twenty-four hours or we would surely have been defeated. Albus, this is a foolhardy plan!"

"Oh, really, Minerva?" Dumbledore asked, eyes sparkling with amusement.

The woman flared her nostrils and turned her back on the group.

Snape shook his head. "Is there anything else I should be doing, Headmaster?"

Dumbledore grinned. "No, you are doing splendidly. Make sure that Ms. Granger stays properly inspired. Tell her that we will be attending the Council meeting."

Snape stood, lowering his head as he exited the office. His next task would be to. . . . ."

Dumbledore's Office. Present day.

"Wait! Wait! Wait! Stop the story!" Harry called, interrupting Dumbledore.

Ron looked up quickly. "We haven't run out of popcorn, have we?" he asked, panicked.

Harry ignored him, speaking to Dumbledore instead. "You mean that Snape was working for the Knicker Huggers--I mean, you? Slimey git! He double-crossed Hermione!!"

Dumbledore raised a brow. "Not exactly."

Harry waited for an explanation but none came. "What do you mean? He's a spy, isn't he? That's what it sounded like."

Dumbledore's grin grew. "Well, I suppose you'll have to hear the rest of the story before you make such judgments."

"Yes, Potter. Do stop interrupting the bloody story. Were this a written piece, readers would be getting very aggravated with you for your ignorant questions," Draco said.

Harry shot darts with his eyes, then turned back to Dumbledore. "Fine, go on then."