A Week in the Life of Lord Voldemort

A Week in the Life of Lord Voldemort

Chapter 1: The Changing of Colors

Damn, I hope I'm not late for that raid, thought Lord Voldemort

All these idiotic words in this idiotic meeting about the idiotic headmaster of Hogwarts are just utterly pointless.

"Enough! The next person who talks about Bumblymore, or what ever his name is, will get cursed!!!" he shouted grandly.

"Um...the name is Dumbledore, my lord," Lucius Malfoy said nervously.

"Incades Moralis!"

Lucius's hair turned bright purple, and his skin turned electric blue, Voldemort's favorite colors.

"What will my family say?" wailed Lucius among many laughs and giggles.

"Well, you should have thought of that before you started talking," answered Voldemort waspishly.

"When will it wear off?" queried Lucius timidly.

"In about a week," answered Voldemort, "more, if you try to get rid of it."

"Omigosh, what will I do?!?!" cried Lucius, "My reputation is ruined!!"

Scratch the raid; I'm having too much fun here, thought Voldemort

"Anyone who moves before I say so will be cursed!" Voldemort laughed at the sight of everybody freezing at the sound of his voice.

Suddenly, Lucy Parkinson sneezed and knocked over Severus Snape, who in turn caused Steve Bullstrode to look as he fell on the floor with a whump.

"You moved, and you, and you!" pointing to each unlucky witch or wizard with his wand as he spoke.

Lucy turned an ugly shade of greenish-brown, and her hair was white with black streaks.

Severus's skin turned red, and his hair turned gold. Uggh. Gryffindor colors. Steve's skin turned hot pink, and his hair turned barf colored. They each ran outside of the dungeon to use a mirror and see how bad it was. Everybody else tried hard to conceal his or her laughs and giggles. Most of them failed miserably, and the remaining few laughed at the sight of the others laughing hysterically. Voldemort wore a smug expression on his face as he colored everyone unsavory colors. Then he asked, "Does anyone have a camera?" Someone shuffled up and gave him a camera. Voldemort then proceeded to take pictures of everybody.

Voldemort was a tall man, and he had blue eyes and brown hair. He was fairly handsome, and did not hate Harry Potter. In fact, he had never met Harry in his life. The person who went and murdered poor Harry's mother and father was a Voldemort wannabe who got himself killed in the process. Voldemort quite frankly admired Harry because that incident had stopped all the fans from swamping him with pesky fan mail, and the enemies from sending a Curse-in-a-Box with a howler attached.

After he had got some rest watching WWN and looking at the pictures reclining in his favorite armchair, wearing a purple over robe and a pair of electric blue fuzzy bunny slippers, Voldemort thought about substituting for Snape as a potions professor. Snape obviously couldn't go to school looking like he was. Voldemort giggled at the thought of Snape trying to teach looking like a Gryffindor fan.

He contacted Snape and forced him to agree to let him be the substitute. After Dumbledore had approved the recommendation letter, Voldemort started packing for an exciting adventure at Hogwarts. Little did he know, it would be more exciting than he had thought.