Remus' Nifty, Big, Red, Beautiful Book

Author's Notes: Again to my remarkable betas! And this chapter especially written in thought of Ashley, the one who made most of the misadventures and adventures in this particular chapter. And to motorbikes everywhere! And this is the first chapter I think slash is hinted in. Enjoy it!

Saturday, March 7, 1981

Well, today was long. Found out that Sirius named his motorbike Abigail. Yeah, Abigail. He talks about her like she's a living thing! Wait- What I meant to write was 'He talks about IT like IT'S a living thing'. Good. Can't let him get into my head. We, that is, the groomsmen and Sirius, minus Frank (who had to take Neville somewhere) and Rowan (who was unable to get out of work), went to Roger's office to be fitted for tuxedos today. We had gone to a Muggle bookstore beforehand with Elle. Sirius and Elle got there on Abigail, and I drove the others there in my car, which isn't at all in the best shape, but I need it.

Anyway, some old Muggle woman caught Sirius and Elle kissing in the aisle and started yelling at them. It was funny. Then, a little while later, Sirius made a comment that the groomsmen could just wear jeans and tee-shirts, and Elle totally lost it. She went mad at him. He told her to relax and that he was kidding and blah blah blah, and then she told us to go to the appointment, which we were already running late for. So Sirius got on his bike and James and Peter piled into my car, nervously. They're dead scared that it's going to break or blow up or something. And Sirius didn't help by telling them if they "smell oil, get out of the car!" He called my car 'Grandma'. What is it with him and naming vehicles? He asked if I could keep up, and I said I could.

Once we got on the highway, he took off like a well-thrown curse, probably at 85 kph. I didn't break the law, but tried speeding up. James and Peter were praying to every God they could think of: Jesus, Buddha, Allah... even Zeus and Jupiter. Sirius must've made a turn around or something, because all I heard was Peter saying, "Is that Sirius?" and seeing a red and black motorbike jump over from the other side of the highway onto ours. It got faster and sped out of sight, and a police car shot past us, lights and siren blaring. Sure it was going to pull Sirius over, I followed it. Sure enough, the flashing lights led me to Sirius, sitting on his bike, holding a ticket, looking at it somewhat guiltily.

James and Peter tumbled out of my car and begged to continue the ride on Sirius' bike. Sirius stowed the ticket in his pocket and told them he could only take one. As Peter and James fought over the position on the bike, Sirius came to inspect my car. If there was one Muggle subject he knew, it was cars and the like. He told me things I already knew, such as "Your car's shitty, mate." and "You couldn't get over 60 with this thing!" He also told me things I didn't know, such as "There's a little leak here under the car." and "Someone must've run over some carcass, 'cause there's an animal bone stuck here." He took the bone out and covered the leak with gum. Then we had to hurry off, 'cause Elle was going to kill Sirius for being late.

Peter was stuck with me again, and we followed Sirius' quick, verbal instructions. He and James were almost immediately out of sight. I made a wrong turn somewhere in the city, because Peter and I ended up hopelessly lost. He was getting extremely nervous, and I was frustrated. Sirius came to find us and lead us slowly to the building we were supposed to be at an hour and a half ago. We got fitted by Roger and his obvious crush and assistant, Barry. We said good-bye to Roger and wished him luck on winning Barry's heart. I took James home. He flew out of the car into his house to hug his wife and child as though he'd thought he'd never see them again. Bastard.

Wednesday, March 11, 1981

Sirius gave me the number of a hooker. Yes, a hooker. He and James and Peter are trying to get me a hooker. In fact, they claim it's my Christmas present. I'm frightened. Oh, and Elle found out about Abigail. She overheard Sirius talking to us and thought Sirius was cheating on her. He explained while we, his good mates, laughed our heads off. Now she knows he's not cheating. Or hopes he's not. Because Sirius cheating on Elle with a motorbike would be so wrong on so many levels...

And the news of the day: I got a new job! Thank God! My friends laughed themselves stupid when they heard, though, being as supportive as they are. I now work at a coffee shop in London. It's called The Bean. I started today. Met my co-workers, Sue and Winston. Sue's nineteen and pretty nice. But Winston... He's weird. And not like Sirius or James weird. I mean weird. He is a real 'nerd', more so then the guys think I am. He has a pocket protector for God's sake! And he's got this crazy mind... For example: he thinks 'the aliens' are coming to get him. My God. The pay is much needed though, so I've got to put up with him. I was going to go over to Sirius' to help with the replies to the wedding invitations, but Frank told me Sirius was probably going right to sleep. He got cocky with Professor Owl again, and Owl made him find the center of a maze, without magic, while being stalked by a half-dog, half-mini-troll. Well, that's what Frank called it. So I sat down with a mug of coffee and wrote in this book instead of heading to his apartment. I'm trying to imagine a half-dog-half-mini-troll, and I can't see it. I'll have to look it up.

Sunday, March 22, 1981

Life's been dull. Apparently Nina received an invitation (clearly Elle's idea, since they are friends and Sirius doesn't like Nina all that much). And now Nina's coming. According to James, who got it from Peter, who heard Sirius tell Frank, Nina is bringing a friend this time. Name of Casey. We don't know much about her, but Sirius says at this rate, he doesn't care if the cat Elle wanted to invite came.

"A cat?" I asked him today.

"Yeah," he said tiredly. "There was a cat on the original guest list."

"Your kidding."

"Nope. She was dead serious about it too," Sirius told me gloomily. He mimicked Elle and said, "C'mon Siri, why not?" Sirius made a face. "I hate cats, that's why not," he said, sounding himself again.

I am still in disbelief about the cat. I might ask Elle if Sirius was joking with me.

Wednesday, March 25, 1981

We've heard rumors of moving the wedding to the end of May. Roger says there isn't enough time as of now. Sirius cussed up a storm when he found out how much the reception hotel cost. There were some swearwords I didn't even know existed, even some in foreign languages. See, it matters to him because he's paying for the wedding, with a little assistance from Ilka and Harold, and some financial aid from Rowan. Rowan isn't exactly rolling in it, and it seems Elle's father spent nearly all his life's savings on alcohol, which is why Rowan's her guardian. I didn't know that before, though I'd always wondered. Sirius has a good deal of money to get on with, but he hasn't got a steady income yet, since he's still training. James offered some help, which Sirius accepted with the promise of paying him back. So the wedding will probably be in late May now.

Tuesday, March 31, 1981

Learned a bit of German today. I was at the Potters' house (Sirius and James' parent's house), because James had me meet him there. We found out Sirius got hurt during training and was in St. Mungo's. Ilka shouted, "Scheiße! Verflucht noch mal!" James translated that to mean "Shit! Goddamn it!" I guess his mother's German. We aren't sure exactly what happened to Sirius; the Healers say it was an 'accident' and that he'll be okay. James wants to investigate what really happened. Peter thinks he's crazy for trying, and Peter is probably right.