Art Thou Jealous

Remus groaned. A little second year was desperately clinging to her moment on stage, fumbling over her lines, speaking in tones of terrible distress. Remus was not sure he could bear it, but Sirius's shoulder knocked into Remus, product of a silent laughter fit. After Professor Sprout kindly told the young girl she did outstandingly well (to which Sirius said, "She's Head of Hufflepuff, she has to be nice.") and sent her on her way.

"They should at least be asked if they even know what the hell is happening in the play," Remus grumbled.

"Yeah," Sirius said, "but it's still a laugh."

Three students later, one of which included Sirius' ex-girlfriend Leslie, Remus was summoned. Normally, he would be nervous, but Shakespeare...well, Shakespeare he knew. Books, English classics...these things were safe territory, no matter what context they be in.

And he was probably the only one auditioning for the lead that didn't chose the "to be or not to be" speech. For this, he patted himself metaphorically on the back.

"'Tis now the very witching time of night," Remus began, and as he continued on, those who had been occupying themselves otherwise raised their eyes and watched Remus - simple, rather quiet, bookish Remus - speak as Hamlet. And not just that, but a passionate Hamlet. "To give them seals never, my soul, consent!"

And with that, Remus walked back to where Sirius and James sat as though he had simply filled out a problem on the Arithmancy chalkboard. Sirius gave him a thumbs up, while James grinned at him in congratulations. Remus was barely concealing his own smile; he thought he'd done rather well himself.

Sirius recited his piece shortly after the next first year, who didn't even bother trying to finish. James quickly followed with a flamboyant monologue of Polonius, and the boys left the Great Hall, James bounding ahead. They met Peter in the Entrance Hall.

"How'd it go?" he asked as the four climbed the staircase.

"Good," Sirius answered.

"It'll be so fun if we're all in it!" James said.

"Well, Moony is Hamlet. He's got the angst ability and all," Sirius added, grinning.

Remus to a swipe at his head but missed. "We saw a good deal of the other auditions, as well," he mentioned.

"Any good ones?" asked Peter.

"Well, there was this one second year that I thought would make the play quite entertaining," James said.

"Leslie Brooks was rather good, too," Remus put in. Sirius grunted noncommittally.

"And there was another sixth year, Kyle, or something; he wasn't bad," James added.

"We'll see soon, won't we?" Peter asked. "Who'll be in and whatnot?"

"Yes," Remus replied, reaching the top of the stairs. "The list should go up tomorrow."

***

The casting list replaced the audition announcement the next morning, no doubt by house-elves.

Hamlet Cast

Hamlet.............................................................................................Remus Lupin

Claudius.............................................................................................Ryan Marks

Gertrude and Ophelia Understudy.............................................................Lily Evans

Polonius.........................................................................................Kyle Goodman

Horatio.............................................................................................Sirius Black

Ophelia............................................................................................Leslie Brooks

Laertes...........................................................................................Sameth Winter

Ghost........................................................................................Robert Emerwatch

Rosencrantz..................................................................................George Shirwell

Guildenstern....................................................................................Moria Robards

Osric, Marcellus, and Reynaldo.......................................................Sturgis Podmore

Francisco and Barnardo.....................................................................Vincent Verte

Male Swing........................................................................................James Potter

Female Swing..............................................................................Mary MacDonald

Remus was congratulated by a number of people that day, while James kept up a constant stream of comments, all on the same lines of, "I'm a swing?"

By the end of the day, Peter was the only one around to listen to James' complaints.

"Well, there are a lot of male parts," Peter observed. "Maybe someone will die?"

"Maybe."

"James, you don't really care that much, do you? We'll all still be hanging out during rehearsals."

"Yeah. I'd feel better if Sirius and Lily weren't--"

"Sorry?" Sirius said, coming down from the dormitory with Remus. "What's that?"

"James is continue his moping," said Peter.

"James," Sirius groaned. "Come on."

"Well, it's just, you know, if I were in it, maybe Lily -"

"James. You are in it," Remus pointed out with dying patience. "You are a swing, which means you go to all rehearsals. So please. Let me be."

"And me," Sirius added.

"Thanks for being good friends and easing my misery," James muttered.

"Oh, James," Remus said. "No ill feelings."

"Says Remus," Peter said. "He's not the one who's been sitting with you all day."

James spared Peter a withering look and turned to Sirius for reassurance. Sirius, it seemed, was fighting off a strong urge to laugh.

"And what do you think, Padfoot?" James dared to ask.

"I think you're being more of a drama queen than Narcissa."

Peter snorted and fell forward onto the little table that stood before the couch, knocking over a bottle of ink, while Remus covered his mouth to hide his smile.

"I am obviously not appreciated here," James said regally, sweeping himself away. "I shall go find someone who cares about me."

"I dunno, James, London is quite a way off," Sirius said snidely.

"Shut up, you," James called back, but he was hiding a grin as he marched off out the portrait hole.

"He'll be back in about a second, the idiot," Remus said, watching the back of the Fat Lady's portrait.

"How d'you know?" Peter questioned.

"Because," Sirius interjected, "curfew's just been called. And you know who checks the Gryffindor corridor as curfew's called..."

"Yes, Professor, I understand that it's nine o' clock," James' voice said as his body backed into the common room. "Yes, of course it will be the last time you catch me in the hall. No, ma'am, I cannot promise it will be my last nighttime venture. Yes, Professor McGonagall, I am indeed free for detention tomorrow. Good night."

James looked around at his friends, daring them to laugh. They stared back, keeping their faces deadpan until Peter snorted again, sending the four of them into laughter.

***

At rehearsal the following evening, Professors Flitwick and Sprout welcomed their new cast. The Charms classroom had been transformed. Desks were pushed to the sides of the room, and a raised stage had been created in the place where Flitwick's podium and stack of books normally resided. A large circle of chairs was set up on stage, where Sprout beckoned the students as Flitwick checked off the attendance list.

James, Sirius, and Remus entered together. Peter had stayed behind, as stage hands were not needed until the final week of rehearsal. James quickly found a seat next to Lily, who rolled her eyes and turned her back on him to talk to Ryan on her other side. James looked distinctly put out.

Sirius and Remus took spots across the circle from James.

"The git," Sirius said quietly. "Didn't even choose a spot with room for three."

"James has ulterior motives for being here, Sirius," Remus said, smirking.

"I have to disagree there," Sirius replied, watching James lean over to join Lily and Ryan's conversation. "There's nothing ulterior about it."

"Touché."

"Alright, alright, settle down, everyone," Sprout said, stepping into the middle of the circle. Flitwick went to close the classroom door. "Welcome to the first rehearsal of Hamlet! I thought perhaps we might get to know each other a bit before we begin. Professor Flitwick was rather fond of the theatre as a young man, and he knows quite a few theatre games!"

Sirius and Remus exchanged concerned looks.

"Theatre games?" James mouthed from across the circle.

"Sounds dangerous," Remus muttered.

Flitwick joined Sprout in the circle and added, "We'll be playing a game at the beginning of every rehearsal to get in the right mindset. Today, though, we're going to play one that will help you learn everyone's name! So everybody up!"

The students rose cautiously and Flitwick magically whisked the chairs to the edges of the classroom.

"Now, the game goes like this," Flitwick began. "Each of you must think of an adjective that starts with the same letter as your name. You must then think of a gesture to match it. We'll go around the circle, and after each person goes, we'll all repeat the name and movement. Are you all ready?"

The students stared at one another.

"Why don't we give them a moment to think," Sprout suggested.

"Very good, very good. Take a minute and create your name and gesture," Flitwick instructed.

"Any thoughts?" Remus asked quietly, as the muttering began.

"Somehow I think if I did 'sex-god Sirius' and took my shirt off, it wouldn't go over well, so I'm re-thinking my original plan."

"Just as well," Remus said. "'Sex-god' is a noun anyway."

Across the way, James was looking like he very much regretted not sitting beside his friends. He was standing awkwardly watching Sirius and Remus converse, while Lily was ignoring him and to his right, Mary was busy conversing with Sturgis.

"All right, time's up, everyone!" Flitwick called. "Let's begin. Miss Evans, why don't you start?"

Lily blushed, embarrassed.

"Lovely Lily," she said quietly, pretending to pick a flower.

"So true," James murmured as the circle repeated Lily, and she shot him a look.

"Jolly James," James practically shouted, jumping in the air and clicking his heels.

The circle was full of laughter as everyone attempted - and failed - to click their heels.

"Okay, okay, Mary, you next."

And so it went on: Marvellous Mary, Steadfast Sturgis, Krazy Kyle ("I mean, what starts with K?"), Victorious Vincent, and Libidinous Leslie.

"'Libidinous Leslie'?" Sirius said under his breath. "If she can be libidinous, I can be 'sex-god'."

"Can't go that way, she'll sound more intelligent," Remus argued, as Robust Rob took his turn.

"Two R's in a row," Sprout commented.

"Refined Remus," Remus said, sipping from an imaginary tea cup.

"Oh, cute," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. Then louder, he said, "Sensuous Sirius," striking a rather seductive variation of the "thinking man" pose.

"Yes, yes, you're very aesthetically pleasing," Remus muttered. Sirius winked at him.

They continued around, all the way up to Goofy George's handstand.

"Very good, everyone, well done," cried Flitwick. "You may take a seat."

The chairs zoomed back into place, and as everyone sat down, manuscripts of Hamlet delivered themselves to the actors.

"Now, to begin, we're going to read through the play. Try to act as you read, and be sure to stop us if you don't understand anything," Sprout said kindly, sitting beside Flitwick.

"We should get through at least Acts I and II this evening," Flitwick added. "We're going to make cuts to the script, but we thought you should read the whole thing first, to get some context."

"Do try to pay attention so you don't miss your cue lines," Sprout said.

***

"How was it?" Peter asked when the others returned to the Common Room that night.

"Not bad," Sirius said, flinging himself across the couch.

"Better that I'd expected," Remus admitted. "People seemed to understand it, for the most part. There was a lot less stumbling over lines than I thought there would be."

"I'm not going to lie, I was a little bored," James said.

"A tale of murder, revenge, and insanity, and he's bored," Peter said. "You just can't please everybody."

"Oh, shut up," James said. "I meant that I had nothing to do."

"You seemed to spend enough time ogling Lily Evans," Sirius pointed out.

"Play nice, boys," Remus said, tossing a roll of parchment at Sirius.

"What's this for?" Sirius asked, as Remus threw a jar of ink and a quill his way.

"Arithmancy essay that's due tomorrow morning," Remus said, plopping a short stack of books from his bag onto the table. Sirius groaned.

"Bloody Arithmancy," he mumbled. "Can't we plead rehearsal and get out of our homework?"

"I don't think it works like that," Remus said, unscrewing his ink jar.

"What do you say, Wormtail?" James asked. "Should we watch these two do their homework, or go to sleep?"

"Oh, sleep, definitely," Peter said seriously.

"See you in the morn," James said, as he and Peter left for the dormitory, leaving Remus and Sirius to their work.

"You're quite good, Moony," Sirius said after a few quiet minutes.

"Hm?"

"As Hamlet, I mean. Not that I didn't expect you to be, but..."

"Thanks," Remus said. "You're not a bad Horatio."

"Hey, you mind if we share?" Sirius said suddenly, pointing to the book floating open in front of Remus.

"Are you going to copy my work?" Remus asked.

"Maybe," Sirius said slyly.

"Okay, budge up," Remus said, and Sirius made room for him on the couch.

"This'll be a long night," Sirius said with a yawn, leaning his head on Remus' shoulder.

"Don't expect me to write your paper if you fall asleep like that," Remus warned, but he smiled at the warmth of Sirius against his arm.

"No, no. But you'll check it in the morning, right?"

"If you check mine."

"Done deal."

Dawn found Sirius and Remus asleep on the couch; Remus curled up tightly and clutching his quill, Sirius with his arms around an open book and his head on Remus' knees. Their homework was scattered across the floor below.