Snow White and the Seven Weasleys

Snow White and the Seven Weasleys

Part II:

-*-

GINNY: This is stupid.

FRED: What? George's idea or this fic?

GINNY: Both.

FRED: I agree with you on that one.

BILL: *sighs* Yeah, we're not even funny.

CHARLIE: So much for a humor fic...

SNOW WHITE: What are you guys talking about?! I thought we're supposed to go back to my dimension and kick the hell out of my stepmother?!

GEORGE: That's my plan, but... nah! Too boring.

SNOW WHITE: What?! Hellooooww? Notice me people! Remember me? The whole point of the story? Ron, you agree with me, right?

RON: Er...

SNOW WHITE: Ugh! You useless -

PERCY: Hey! What do you mean the whole point of the story? It's called "Snow White and the Seven WEASLEYS"! WEASLEYS!

SNOW WHITE: Yeah well, in my opinion it should be called, "Snow White and the Completely Useless Bunch of Red-Heads".

BILL: Hey! My hair's much more beautiful than yours!

SNOW WHITE: Oh! As if!

BILL: You're the one who said so!

SNOW WHITE: I was being polite.

BILL: You call that polite?!

CHARLIE: Oh God! The plotlessness of this fic is hurting my eyes!

GINNY: Yeah well, it's hard to endure a writer's pathetic attempt to write a humor fic when she's better off writing something about me being Malfoy's maid with a blind brother and an excruciating long and depressing plot that she can never seem to finish.

CHARLIE: Oh! I know that! Was I dead or in Azkaban?

GINNY: Hmm... Funny, I don't remember. Ron, do you remember?

RON: Er...

CHARLIE: Hey! Say something different! You're starting to be a very boring character, you know.

RON: I'm trying to stay on character! The "summary" says I'm supposed to be Er!Ron. I'm just obeying the author's direction.

SNOW WHITE, GINNY, CHARLIE, GEORGE, FRED, PERCY, BILL: Ooooh...

FRED: Now what?

GEORGE: I think the author's trying to wrap this up. How about tying up the loose ends?

CHARLIE: How could a plotless fic have any loose ends?

GINNY: Dunno.

PERCY: How about the uncharacteristic disappearance of our parents?

BILL: Good one!

GINNY: Well, the story is called "Snow White and the Seven Weasleys", so if mom and dad are here, then it would be called "Snow White and the Nine Weasleys" and it would not agree with the classical "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"...

CHARLIE: But where are they?

FRED: Probably lost in another dimension of logical fanfiction.

SNOW WHITE: Okay, that's all sorted out. Now, what about me?

GEORGE: What about you?

SNOW WHITE: Well, what will happen to me next? Are we supposed to magically enter my fairy tale dimension and wreck havoc and chaos for the good of everything good and do a Harry Potter heroism movement against my evil evil stepmother? Or do we just...I dunno, stare stupidly at each other or something?

CHARLIE: Well, according to the Rules and Regulations of Useless Plotless Fics, the Code of Conduct of Writers with Writer's Block and the Federation of FanFic Writers with Mental Disorders, it would be just fine if the story just ends here, with no sense whatsoever.

GINNY: Oh.

BILL: I guess that's cool.

FRED: Wait, we would be following it more if the author promised more chapters to come with even more plotlessness and then not update ever again!

GEORGE: Oh yeah! That would be *awesome*!

FRED: *talks to the author* What do you think?

AUTHOR: More to come! Please please please please please please please please REVIEW!!!!! That would make me really really really really really really HAPPY!!! OK?! OK!!! Next chapter: MORE FUN!!! And don't forget to MAKE A REVIEW! That would make me write the next chap really really really fast! Thanks!

BILL: Cool.

GINNY: So, are we done?

RON: Er...

*Everybody stares at him*

RON: What? Just trying to remind the viewers that Er!Ron is still here!

PERCY: Now what?

FRED: I'm bored.

GEORGE: Me too.

CHARLIE: Come on, let's go sulk in an angst fic.

FRED: Good idea, even though I'm most out of character in those.

RON: I'm going back to being blind.

GINNY: Me too. I'm going back to the manor and be Draco's sex puppet even though there's nothing going on between us. Yet.

GEORGE: Percy, what are you gonna do?

PERCY: Nothing. Fanfiction writers don't like me very much. I'm rather a decoration on Weasley fics like this one... Now I'm feeling depressed.

BILL: We're suffering the same curse Percy. And even though I'm much more attractive and less annoying than you, my charming character is always shoved back to the barely there category.

PERCY: Pity you.

SNOW WHITE: I'm going back to my fairy tale dimension although I have no idea how I got here or how I'm going to get back.

PERCY: You do that.

FRED: Yeah.

GEORGE: Bye.

CHARLIE: Good luck!

BILL: Take care of your hair.

RON: Er...

GINNY: Ugh! Damn this! *looks at readers* Go away! The story's over! Go and read much stupider humor fics! Shoo!