Harry Potter and the Goblet of Firewhiskey

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Firewhiskey

By Aerie22

Chapter Three

Lochinvar

Harry stood as if made of stone as he gazed at the scene.

There was Hermione. And there was Ron. They were staring angrily at each other. The sexual tension was so thick you could have cut it with a knife.

Harry looked back and forth between his best friend and the woman he loved. All the emotion he had stored up in him about Hermione for the past five years rose to thre surface. And he found his heart filling with angst.

'And I hate angst,' he thought.

He would put a stop to this once and for all.

Hermione and Ron jumped up, startled, their faces red.

"Hey, Harry," Ron said in an embarrassed voice.

"Ron," Harry, said with a curt nod.

Hermione looked at Harry with a flushed, uncertain look. Suddenly, she ran to him, hugging him warmly. "Oh, Harry. I missed you so much."

Harry pushed her out to arms length. "So have I," he said, his exquisite green eyes blazing. "These past 36 hours since we got off the Hogwarts Express have seemed like an eternity."

Suddenly, Harry grasped her passionately, his left hand tangling in the bushy hair on the back of her head, his right hand gripping her tightly around the waist. He drew her to him. Their lips met with a passion heretofore unknown to either of them. The warmth and tenderness of the kiss quickly gave way to a more primal instinct as they writhed in each others' arms. Lips met lips, tongues met tongues, as their grip on each other intensified. Their entire world melted away until they were the only ones in it. It seemed like an eternity as their souls mingled.

In the meantime, Ron sat there and frowned...as Harry grabbed a fistful of the back of Hermione's jumper with one hand while cradling her chin with the other as they kissed.

Somehow, Ron knew this would happen. His two best friends were destined to be together, he realized...as Hermione ran her hands seductively through Harry's Raven black hair.

But what of him? What of Ron Weasley? Where did he fit in? he thought...as Harry licked the base of Hermione's throat and then bit it gently.

Ron lowered his head into his hands in sorrow...as Hermione grazed her nails across Harry's back.

Finally, he sighed and looked at his two friends. Their love for each other was clearly apparent to all but a total idiot. He shook his head, resigned to at least enjoy the fact that his two best friends had found true love, true happiness together, he thought...as Harry and Hermione's legs gave way and they tumbled onto a nearby sofa.

As his friends' kiss and embrace lengthened, Ron pondered his own future. 'Who would want me? Who could love me?' he thought...as Harry and Hermione rolled passionately around on the sofa.

Finally, he shrugged. I guess I'll end up with Lavender again, like in all those other H/Hr 'ship fanfics. Or at least the ones that were written before OotP--before Luna Lovegood made her appearance. This new development had caused Ron no end of confusion, especially when he started seeing R/L in the summaries of fanfics and never quite being sure whether he would end up with Lavender or Luna.

But even in his disappointment, Ron entertained a small, inward smile...as Harry and Hermione tumbled to the floor in a passionate embrace.

'Lavender isn't so bad,' Ron thought to himself. 'After all, she's a lot prettier than Hermione. And nicer. And friendlier. And more accessible. And sexier. And more open. And more affectionate. And sweeter. And not as bossy. And not as secretive. And less argumentative. And easier to talk with. And has a better figure. And is more popular. And richer. And easier. And has bigger...well, you know.'

It was only when Harry and Hermione needed to breathe again that they finally let go of one another.

Hermione stood up shakily and stared at Harry with a smoldering look of lust. 'Should I tell him how much I care about him? Love him?' she asked herself. 'But what if he only thinks of me as a pal. Not a girl.'

At this point Ron, resigned to his fate, rose and embraced his two friends, congratulating them in their new-found love.

Suddenly, Hermione jumped back, flushed and breathless. "But what about Ron?" she exclaimed.

"Oh, I think he'll do all right," Ron said, his grin broadening by the second, as he wandered out of the room in search of a certain busty blond roommate of Hermione's.

* *....

???!!?!??!!?

[A/N: "What do you mean, you've never heard of Lochinvar?"]

???????

[A/N: "Well, back when I was in school, back when the twinkle in Dumbledore's eye was a twinkle in his father's eye and Aberforth hadn't discovered goats yet, we learned poetry that was more complex than the limerick."]

!!!?!!?!??!??!?!!?!

[A/N: "Oh, for goodness sake, look it up."]

???!!?!!?!!

[A/N: "Then Google it."]

%#*#^%@)(#^%

[A/N: *Shaking head sadly* http://unix.cc.wmich.edu/~cooneys/poems/Scott.Lochinvar.html]

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~ To Be Continued ~