Sisters; Can't Live With Them, Can't Prank Without Them

Browen

"So, will you be trying out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team?"

I stared at Adrasteia Vini. She was standing there with her pen poised on her notepad.

"What?" I asked.

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Will," she repeated slowly, "you be trying out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team? You're Joseph Bower, right? J O S E P H?"

"Yeah. I mean no. I'm not trying out."

She scribbled down a few notes and turned to Gregory. "How about you? G R E G O R Y?"

"Yeah," said Gregory a little taken a back. "Oh course I'm entering! I wouldn't miss a chance to get on the Quidditch team."

"Which position?"

"Beater. Just like my father."

"Yes, and have your parents inspired you on to this? Your Mum was a Quidditch player, wasn't she? Angelina Johnson come Weasley?"

"Yeah. And er... I suppose..."

She was scribbling down a lot for Gregory.

"What's this about?" Lione asked.

"I'm writing an article on the Quidditch try outs for the school's newspaper," said Adrasteia vaguely. "Are you entering?"

"No. And what newspaper?"

"The one I got permission from McGonagall to publish this morning, duh."

"I'm sorry we don't find out what happens in every meeting with McGonagall."

"And how could we?" Lucy asked, "If you only found out this morning, how were we supposed to know about it?"

"M A L F O Y?"

Lucy was rather taken aback. "What does that mean?"

Adrasteia rolled her eyes. "That's how you spell your name. Isn't it?"

"Er... yeah."

"And can I quote you that you see the new school newspaper as pointless and fatuous?"

Lucy seemed to panic. "I didn't say that? Did I?"

Adrasteia seemed to view whether she had said it or not as a minor detail. "Can I quote you or not?"

Lione cut across her. "No."

Adrasteia rolled her eyes again. "Fine. Are you trying out?"

"Yes," said Lucy nervously as if dreading the response this might bring.

"Which position? Do you think that going for the same position as Gregory here will intervene with your friendship?"

"No, I want to be a seeker. I'm quite small you see so I thought-"

"Fine, thank you. L U C Y?"

A voice called across the corridor. "Love unicycling? Come to York!"

We all turned and spotted Jane Jordan. Jane had been mildly friendly until Lione did something, I don't know what, to insult her. She was horrible to us forever afterwards. She was smirking at us.

"That's what it stands for, isn't it? Or, how about, little us can't yodel. Wow, Lione, can't little you? I'm so sorry."

"Wow, Jane," said Gregory, "Why not find what this stands for. B O."

"Body odour?"

"Bog off!"

"Oh yes," said Jane looking thoughtful. "Buy one get one free. So, Lione, trying out for the Quidditch team?"

"No. You?"

"I thought I might give it a whirl. There's a seeker position opening on the Slytherin team."

"I hope you get it. I hear seekers are the most fouled. I'm trying out for the position of commentator. It's open this year."

Jane's smirk dipped in to a scowl. "You wouldn't."

"What's the matter? I thought you wanted to be a seeker."

"My dad," Jane snarled, "was the commentator when he was here. I will not let you take what is rightfully mine."

Adrasteia looked up from her notebook, which she had been industrially writing in throughout the argument, and sighed. "So you're not going to try out for seeker?"

"I am!"

"Well you should try and make these things clearer. Sheesh. And would you please try and speak at dictation speed?"

We made our way to lunch, which we had been heading to before Adrasteia pounced on us. We sat down at the Gryffindor table.

"What's this about you not entering?" Gregory asked Lione.

"Well I'm not."

"But you're a great flyer! I've seen you on a broom, it's like... a bird."

"When she stays on," I reminded him.

The year previously, at our first flying lesson, Lione managed to be the only one to fall off her broom completely. She landed up in the medical block.

"Yeah," said Gregory vaguely. "When she stays on."

"Flying isn't all there is to being a Quidditch player," Lione told us, "It's a huge plus but it's not all there is to it. You also need to be able to seek, beat, keep or chase."

"Well you could learn."

"Trust me. I couldn't catch, hit or throw a ball to save my life. But I've hung around my Mum's Quidditch ground enough and I think I could do commentating. I've sat in the top box before."

"Me too!" Lucy piped in. "I was in the top Box at the Quidditch world cup."

"We know!"

***

Our first lesson was Charms, the first time we'd had it with Professor Browen. As we approached the classroom we saw he was half blocking the door forcing us to have to enter in single file. As each one of us entered Browen seemed to examine us. He didn't seem impressed.

"Right. I am Professor Browen, your new Charms professor if you hadn't realised that yet. Remember where you are sitting, because you'll never see that seat again. You'll all be sitting in girl boy girl boy order. Go."

Everyone looked at each other in confusion. Lucy, Lione, Gregory and I were sitting in a row anyway with the girls next to each other and Gregory and I side by side. Lione and I were in the middle. We both shrugged and swapped places.

"No, no, no," said Browen. "Honestly. You there, you there."

He started pointing at people randomly and placing them somewhere else. I ended up between Lucy and Laura.

Professor Browen proceeded to read the register, enunciating every word as if he couldn't read very well. Or, as Gregory suggested later, in an effort to make sure he pronounced everyone's name wrong and not miss anyone out.

"Joe-seff Bow-er."

"Yes, sir."

"An-ya Cor-rye."

"Corrie, sir."

He ignored her. "Lee-own Dave-ies."

"Lee-o-nee," Lione corrected.

This time he looked up at her in shock. "Lee-own Davies?" he asked. "You're Lee-own Davies."

"No," she said, "I'm Lee-o-nee. Just... call me Lee, sir."

Browen moved on. "Sam-u-al Long-bot-tom."

"Yeah. Sir."

"Lu-see Mal-foy."

"Yes, sir."

"Ro-bert O-lee-ver."

"Whatever. Sir."

"Law-rah Pot-ter."

"Yes, sir."

Browen looked up at her with a confused expression on his face. "Are you sure?"

"Certain, sir. It is my name."

For a second his eyes flicked from Lione to Laura before he continued. "Greg-o-ree Wes-lee."

"Weasley. With an a."

"Right. Welcome to Charms. Many people see Charms as an 'easy' subject and I'm sure my predecessor taught it that way but I am a professional."

"So was Professor Flitwick," Samuel objected.

Browen snorted. "Unlike most of my fellow staff members I was not found on some street corner and thrown in to a classroom."

Samuel's mouth fell open in shock and outrage. Browen either didn't notice or didn't care.

"I actually went through Teacher training college. I spent years among Muggles," I couldn't help notice a slight tint of disgust in his voice that he had to go through that. "Perfecting my teaching technique. I can promise you that, while in other lessons you will learn things, here, I will teach!"

He thrust his arms in the air and stared at the ceiling, radiating self-importance. We stared, shocked in to silence. Who did this guy think he was? I was slightly amazed that no one was sniggering. Even Lione and Gregory looked taken aback. He lowered his arms and seemed to come back down from whatever planet he was inhabiting during his speech.

"I realise this will probably make you all hate me, but I don't care. I knew what to expect when I decided to benefit you... children... with my vast knowledge. So feel free to put skunks in my desk and foil balls in my underpants. Mock me if you will, I don't care. Is that all right with you, Wesley?"

Gregory's mouth was open. He blinked in surprise. "Er..." he replied, "Mer."

"Good. On with the lesson then!"

***

We filed out of the class in a shocked silence. Lucy, Lione, Gregory and I paused just outside of the classroom.

"Er..." I stumbled. "What just happened there?"

"I," said Lucy, "don't... know."

"How about you, Kettle. Any ideas?"

"I... I'm not sure. I- I think it was a good lesson."

"Quite good. With the... um... thing."

"Yeah, the whatsit."

I was rather worried. Usually my memory is sharp and picture perfect but that charms class was a bit of a blur. I mean, I knew what happened to the letter. But I sort of... didn't. It was as if I thought I'd missed something but couldn't think what. Or how. I though Professor Browen was a rather good teacher. Then again I didn't. He had kept making references to how awful it was with Muggles and looking at me in a strange way. He was certainly as good as Professor Flitwick at Charms, if not better.

"You know what I need," Lione concluded. "A good prank."

"But you had one on Monday," Lucy pointed out. "Remember? The hair dye in the shampoo-"

"Yes yes yes. But we need another one. A group one this time."

"I agree," said Gregory.

"You do?" said Lione, shocked. "But that's so unlike you. Are you feeling all right?"

"Ha ha. I think we should visit the Prankster room tonight. Pick up a few supplies."

"Agreed."

"Air Jet?"

"I always love visiting the Prankster room," Lucy put in. "I've been looking forward to going back all summer."

"Well... it is great. Starsy?"

"I'm in."

"Perfect," said Lione, "Tonight." She pointed dramatically in the air. "The prankster room!"

We stared.

"Lio, chill."

***

It was easy finding our way to the room again; we'd been a dozen times and knew the route off by heart. We used the Marauders Map we'd found in the room to make sure we avoided Mr Creevy and any teachers on a midnight stroll. The only problem was keeping all of us under Gregory's invisibility cloak. Both girls seemed to have decided to go through a growth spurt over the summer and it was a tight squeeze under one cloak.

"Why," said Gregory, pulling off the cloak as we entered the room, "did you girls have to grow? Starsy and I didn't."

"Girls naturally become more mature than boys at an earlier age," Lione told him.

"Maturity, smurity, we need another cloak."

"Do you know how expensive they are?" Lucy cried, "Barely anyone has them nowadays."

"Lucy," I pointed out. "Since when has things been expensive been a problem for your family? You sat in the top box for crying out loud. Not even Lione managed that and her mum has top Quidditch links." Lione snorted but didn't say anything. "Couldn't you ask for one? As a Christmas present?"

"But my parents don't want me to get in trouble..."

"Exactly! If you didn't have the cloak you'd get in to more trouble then if you did."

Please say I'm not the only one who doesn't understand Gregory's warped sense of logic. Lucy seemed to get it.

"Because," she said, slowly, as if she was reasoning something out in her head, "if I were invisible when I did things wrong, I wouldn't get in trouble for them. Because they couldn't see me."

"Exactly!"

Lione laughed. "Try explaining that one to your dad. He'd have to give in to stop his mind from imploding."

"Couldn't you get one too, Lione?"

Lione looked shocked. "Of course not. Whatever Gregory thinks, my Mum's grounds aren't that major."

"No, I mean from your grandparents."

Lione's face fell. According to Lione, her Grandparents on her mothers side were rich, Slytherins who creeped her out. She spent every Easter with them and dreaded it for the rest of the year. But what made it worse that at the end of the previous year, after the attack of the weird creepy guy; Dumbledore practically stated that they were involved with the attack on Lione. She was especially sensitive about them forever afterwards. Of course I hadn't forgotten this, even for an instance, but I reasoned that they had always given Lione great gifts so if they didn't know about her perception of them, why should now be any different?

The silence had been going on for a while now.

"Er-hum," interrupted Gregory. "Joseph, why don't you let us in to the room?"

I shrugged at moved over to the cupboard that marked the entrance to the room, Lione didn't meet my eye. As I passed Gregory he leaned over to me.

"Nice one," he snarled.

I didn't understand what I had done wrong. I had only been a suggestion. Not only that, but also a suggestion based on good fact and evidence confessed by Lione herself. How could anyone find fault with that?

"Something," I announced to the cupboard.

It moved aside at once to reveal a room that Gregory once compared to 'Nature's honey'. Lucy, as she did every time we went in to that room, moved forward and immediately began to run her fingers along the gold plaque at the end of the room. It was marked with the names of every prankster that ever found that room. Her fingers lingered fondly at the names at the very bottom of the list. Gregory Weasley, Lione Davies, Joseph Bower and Lucy Malfoy. Accompanied, of course, by the tiny smiley face next to Lucy's name that eternally reminded me of her sweet character.

Lione and Gregory knelt down and started to sift through the piles of pranks that had built up over the centuries. Pranksters don't tend to be tidy creatures so it was all chucked everywhere. There was everything that a Prank puller could ever consider useful. Teacher detectors of all shapes and sizes, crude early, now drastically out of date, maps of the castle, even gloves that allowed you to climb along the ceiling. We tried them out one time and found that the greatest fault with them was that there was no way of attaching your feet to the ceiling so you ended up hanging.

"You know what I think," said Lione, examining what appeared to be a purple top hat. "I think that we should start thinking about making our own devices here. It seems to me that every prankster has left a few items here for others to use and we should do the same."

"Yeah," said Lucy. "We've taken so much, we've got to give something back for future generations of Pranksters." She grinned. "Those little Gregory and Lione juniors."

Gregory and Lione looked up, glanced at each other and frowned in obvious confusion. Lucy giggled.

"Maybe," said Lione slowly. "Or maybe not. Whichever, we're in second year. If we ever plan on leaving our mark we need to start thinking about it now. That way we can leave lots of marks. What we need is a new invention. Something cool that is easy to use but will just freak everyone out."

For some reason my mind instantly went to the box of contact lenses in my case. My face lifted in to, what I hoped was, an evil grin.

"Guys. I think I have a solution."