Sisters; Can't Live With Them, Can't Prank Without Them

The dream

"Are we still going on about that?" Gregory asked.

"You know I hate to agree with Gregory," said Lione, "but on this occasion I have to. It just doesn't concern us, Joseph. Sure it's sad but, frankly, it's old news and has nothing to do with us."

I stared at her and nodded. "Yeah," I agreed, "It has nothing to do with you, you're not Muggle-born. But it has everything to do with me. I still have a little sister out there, Caitlyn. And if there's a possibility she could be in danger I am not going to sit back and say 'sure, it's sad, but who cares?'"

"Leigh didn't say that exactly," Lucy pointed out.

"A girl Caitlyn has played with all her life went missing yesterday. And I'm worried, guys. I don't want to see her hurt."

They all looked at their plates.

"Sorry Joseph," said Lione, "I guess we didn't think about it that way."

"Who would want to kidnap little children?" Lucy asked.

We considered this. Then Gregory came up with the most sensible answer I've ever heard him say.

"Scary creepy guy," he answered, "Dumbledore said he was a Voldemort copy cat. Last time Voldemort came around the children from Hogwarts went on the offensive against him. My Dad told me. It was called the DA or something. Well these kids have relations at Hogwarts. So it's possible they might have come here one day."

"He's cutting off the supply of kids coming here," sighed Lione, "Taking them out before they can go against him. Getting rid of them while he still can. While they're still helpless."

There was silence again as we all thought about the implications of this. I began to wish that I could have brought Caitlyn along with me this year.

At the teacher's table, Dumbledore stood up. The sorting was finished.

"I would like to begin this year with a short prayer I heard over the holidays."

Everyone looked at each other with confusion. Dumbledore had never done a prayer before. A few people bowed their heads; Dumbledore and the Teachers did the same.

"Rub-a-dub-dub," intoned Dumbledore seriously. "Thanks for the grub."

The hall laughed. Food appeared on the empty plates on the table. Oh such food! The feasts at Hogwarts were so amazing. You could have anything you wanted and there was an awful lot of choice. Pork chops, chicken, sausages, turkey, duck, lamb, bacon, quorn, potatoes (in every style imaginable) beans, chips, eggs, I could go on for ever. Everyone tucked in.

Down the table we heard the first years having the traditional conversation for their first year of Hogwarts - families. My classmates were discussing the Quidditch world cup. I was just trying to listen in to Melanie discussing our family when,

"So what did you do this summer, Joseph?"

I turned back to the group angrily. Samuel was looking at me with interest.

"Aside from panic over your sister of course."

"Nothing much," I told him and tried to listen back in to the first years' conversation. I was getting worried, they had all just laughed.

"Oh you must have done something!"

"Nothing, okay! Sheesh, what is it with you?"

Laura smiled at me. "Oh nothing," she replied, "We're just trying to stop you from intruding in Melanie's discussion."

"What? How'd you-?"

They all grinned at me.

"Fine. I'll leave it."

I passed the rest of the feast by eating and a little light conversation, my own, not Melanie's. Though I notice that Mel seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself. I pointed this out to Lione.

"Well good for her," she replied, "At least one of you Bowers are."

I scowled at her. She smiled innocently. Why did they all seem to be smiling a lot?

When the meal was over Dumbledore stood up again.

"Now that everyone is full to burst I have a few announcements to make. First I would like to welcome all our first years and congratulate everyone else in returning with all your limbs intact!"

Everyone clapped and laughed.

"He's barmy," Robert informed us.

"Quidditch tryouts take place next week. All those interested in playing on their house team should talk to Madam Hooch. First years should note that the forbidden forest is out of bounds, as is Hogsmeade to everyone except the third years and above that have parental permission to go. We have a new member of staff. Unfortunately last year Professor Flitwick decided it was about time he retired. But I would like to introduce Professor Browen who will be teaching charms."

Browen glanced around at all of us. His gaze fell particularly on a few certain people, myself included.

"Is it me," asked Lione, "or does Professor Browen look disgusted at the sight of us?"

"Only a few of us," I murmured.

"Now everyone to your dormitories."

The noise level rose again as everybody got to his or her feet. There was a scramble as we all made for the door and prefects tried to collect their first years. Gregory, Lucy, Lione and I slipped through the crowds. Lione weaved off to find a prefect to ask for the password. We made our way up the stairs to the Gryffindor common room. We got to the portrait of the fat lady.

"Password?" she asked.

"Bougainvillaea," Lione replied.

The portrait swung open revealing the Gryffindor common room. We entered.

"What's a Bougainvillaea?" Lucy asked.

"A kind of tropical plant," I replied.

We split. Lucy and Lione going up to the girl's dormitories and Gregory and I going to the boy's.

"See you in the morning!" the girls called.

"Night!" Gregory replied.

"What was up with that Browen guy?" I asked.

Gregory shrugged. "Maybe he doesn't like children much."

"He's a teacher."

"So's Snape."

"Good point."

Our cases were already in our dormitory when we got there. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

***

I dreamt. I dreamt I was in the Great hall and Melanie was laughing at me.

"No!" I cried to the rest of the school (all of whom were also there). "This isn't fair!"

Up on the high table Dumbledore started to snigger. McGonagall snorted back laughter and Snape's shoulders were shaking. Suddenly the whole hall burst in to hysterical fits of laughter. I saw Lione, Gregory and Lucy sitting at the Gryffindor table close to me. Lucy was pointing at me and trying to say something but she was laughing too much. Lione was laughing so hard she had tears running down her face. She was having to lean on Gregory's shoulder for support. Gregory kept slapping his knees and saying, "I don't believe it! I do not believe it!" between guffaws.

Laura was sitting near them, laughing with the rest. I grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Laura!" I pleaded, "You've got to help me. You can't let them do this to me."

She just laughed on. Up on the staff table Caitlyn had appeared, sitting on the table. Her high-pitched laugh was clearly audible above the rest of the school's.

"Catty!" I called, "Don't just abandon me Catty! I didn't do it to you!"

She laughed on.

I threw my head back and shouted, loud, at the whole school. "What is wrong with you people?!"

I fell to my knees in despair. I glanced up. At the high table I caught sight of Professor Browen, he wasn't laughing. As I stared at him he, slowly, got to his feet and smiled at me.

"What's the matter, Muggle?" he asked, "Don't you get it?"

***

"Nargh!"

I woke with a start. I pulled the curtains of the four-poster bed apart to find Gregory, Samuel and Robert looking at me. I took some deep breaths.

"You all right?" Robert asked.

"Yeah," I replied, "Fine."

"Good," he said slowly, "we don't want to miss breakfast."

"Plus I think Lione's been up to something," Gregory added, giving me a look. "I heard screams."

I got dressed and made my way downstairs. Indeed there were a lot of screams. The year before Lione had managed to turn the faces of most of the Gryffindor girls black. She used black face soap, which had the trick that whoever used it, once discovering that their face was black would immediately try to use the soap to clean their faces, thus making it worse. This time the girls all had hair of varying colours. Some had blue, some green, a few red, more luminous pink, one girl who seemed to be screaming louder than her comrades had gone shocking blond. Lucy and Lione were sitting on the stairs to the girl's dormitories trying not to laugh. Lione was only just managing it but Lucy was failing miserably. Gregory and I dodged round several hysterical fourth years and ran over.

"What did you do?!" Gregory exclaimed.

It was hard to tell from his tone whether he was angry, shocked, pleased or in admiration.

"The old hair dye in the shampoo bottle trick," Lione told him, "This time the trick is in the timing. The first day here was a Monday and I knew that no one would be bothered to unpack their own toiletries when there's perfectly good shampoo in the school showers. So I just put some in them. Oh dear."

Lione had caught sight of a first year with white hair. She was crying. Lione jumped up and walked over.

"Here," she said, handing her a shampoo bottle. "Go wash your hair again. Just lean over a sink and do it. Use it three times okay?"

The girl nodded and rushed off to the bathrooms. Lione came back to sit with us again.

"Well, now I feel guilty," she told us, "I assumed the first years would use their own or wouldn't know that the school had a supply. Didn't mean to get them on their first day."

You could say that about Lione, she was sneaky but she was kind.

"Couldn't you have got Melanie?" I asked her.

Lione grinned. "Maybe later. Breakfast anyone?"

We left the common room and made our way down to the great hall for breakfast.

"Why didn't you tell me you were planning a prank?" Gregory asked her. "I thought we were a team."

"We are," she said, "We're the Corsairs."

"She told me," Lucy volunteered.

"You told my cousin and not me?"

"Well it's a tradition. I've got to do the first one the Muggle way and alone."

"How is it a tradition? You've only done it once before."

"Well now I've done it twice, so it's a tradition. And anyway, I had to tell Lucy because she was heading off for a shower and if I hadn't told her I'd have got her."

"Why couldn't you have just let that happen?" I asked her, "You've never had an aversion to pranking us before."

"I just didn't feel like it, okay. Sheesh, what is wrong with you people?"

I froze, remembering the dream.

"One little prank I don't tell you about and you get all snarky. What's wrong, Joe?"

"Joseph," I corrected automatically, "And nothing. I was just remembering the weirdest dream I had last night."

"Weird as in nightmare," she inquired, "or weird as in fifty men in white shorts singing 'Listen to the glove compartment'?"

We all stared at her.

"What? I've had that dream before..."

"That's not weird," said Lucy, "The weirdest dream I've ever had was when I was drowning in a huge batch of cookie mixture and there was this unicorn floating around on a huge chocolate chip that sounded exactly like Gregory and it sang 'The power of love' you know 'And I am your lady, and you are my man' over and over. Then it turned in to a dinosaur, baaed like a sheep and sank."

"That is weird."

"You know that probably has some kind of deep psychological meaning to it."

"Look up any book on translating dreams and I don't think you'll find dinosaurs that go baa and drown in cookie dough mix."

"Well it may not have drowned. I woke up just as the top of its head went under."

"Aah," said Gregory, doing what he probably considered to be an impression of a psychiatrist. "This means you have suppressed troubles from your childhood. Did you get along with your father?"

We laughed.

"So what was your dream about, Joseph?"

"I was in the great hall." I told them, "Melanie was there and Caitlyn was there and you were all there too. And everyone was laughing."

We walked in to the great hall as I was describing it.

"And I called Caitlyn, Catty. I never call her Catty. Her friends call her Cat but never Catty."

As we sat down I happened to glance up at the staff table and caught sight of Browen who was having an in depth conversation with McGonagall.

"And Browen was there."

They looked confused for a moment. As usual, Gregory was the first to catch on.

"Professor Browen?"

"Yeah. He said 'What's the matter, Muggle? Don't you get it?'"

"He called you a Muggle?" Gregory sounded appalled.

"Of course he didn't," said Lucy, "It was just a dream. They're not real. Dinosaurs that baa don't usually drown in huge vats of cookie mixture. Do they?"

We were silent for a while. McGonagall came along, giving out timetables. Gregory glanced at his.

"Well we don't get Browen till Wednesday."

"Do we still have Defence against the Dark Arts with the Slytherins?" Lucy asked timidly.

"'Fraid so. And we get History of Magic with the Ravenclaws."

"Ooh," said Lione, "I'd like to see Joseph go up against Adrasteia Vini."

Adrasteia Vini was clearly the smartest girl in Ravenclaw. She was also the nosiest.

"Well that's next. Double."

We groaned. No matter how interesting the subject of History of Magic ever was it always ended up being the most boring lesson. Professor Binns was a ghost so you'd have thought it would be interesting having him as a teacher. It wasn't. Every lesson was the same; him droning on about goblin riots and countless Ministerial acts while we take notes and try not to fall asleep. There was a similar groan from the Ravenclaw table, they'd obviously also just read their timetable for that day.

"What about this afternoon?"

"Potions and... early bed."

"Early bed? Why?"

"We've got Astronomy this evening."

They groaned again.

"What's wrong?" I asked, "Astronomy is great. You can see what happened a million years ago by just looking up in to the night's sky. Moons, planets, stars, it's all just fascinating! I hope we learn about Black holes this year, did you know that there's one at the centre of every galaxy? It's gravity acts just like the sun does with our solar system."

Gregory gave me another look. "It's not that Astronomy isn't interesting and junk. It's just that I hate having to get up in the middle of the night."

"And have to get up at the same time the next morning," Lucy added.

"Yeah," moaned Lione, "There should be some kind of law against that kind of treatment."

I stared at them. "You know, sometimes I just don't get you guys. We're so different. Why aren't you as enthusiastic about some things as I am? Aren't the wonders of the universe something worth giving up a good night's sleep for? How can it not be okay to disturb your sleep cycle for something as fantastic as... a super nova. Or a star collapsing!"

They laughed. They always laughed, I never knew why. I still don't.

"Oh, Joseph," said Lione.

"Oh Joseph what?"

"How about, Oh Joseph not all our fathers are Astronomers," suggested Gregory.

"No offence, Joseph," said Lucy, "We think the galaxy is fantastic and everything, I mean we live in it, but we're just not as interested as you. And frankly there's nothing worth sacrificing a good night's sleep for. I mean, you know how grumpy Lione gets in the morning. And Gregory isn't exactly a pretty sight either."

"Hey!"