And now for something completely different: Ron singing

Last time we left our heroes they- oh what's the point?! They don't care. I don't care. No one cares. It's the last chapter and everyone's out of a job. Stupid author. Why couldn't you be more interesting, huh? Why couldn't you have stretched it out longer.

AUTHOR: Because.

Hah! You didn't even try. I could have written a better fic than you any day of the week.

AUTHOR: Go on then, give it a try.

All right I will.

AUTHOR: And everyone else can have a go as well.

Good. Just to prove how much you suck!

AUTHOR: But first we have to get through this chapter. So our readers can get to the end and see the surprise we've got for them. Come on now, just because it's the last chapter doesn't mean you have to cry. There there.

I wasn't crying!

AUTHOR: Oh. Sorry. It's really hard to tell, you see. What with you not really existing and everything.

I understand...

HERMIONE: Oh.

RON: My fans! (Bursts in to tears)

HERMIONE: (pats him on the back) There there. Er... why don't you sing a song to cheer yourself up?

RON: (cheers up) Good idea! We've still got tons to go through.

That's what you think...

RON: (plays guitar) Oh, I got two legs from my waist to the ground, and

PADMA: (shocked) Er... why is he wearing a kilt all of a sudden?

HERMIONE: (taking medication) You see that too? Oh good. I'm not going mad. (Looks at bottle with worried expression) Oh dear. (Dies)

RON: When I move 'em they walk around, and

NEVILLE: (looking shocked) Do they? Are you sure?

JACK: (Walks around experimentally) Can anyone else hear that sighing noise?

REVIEWER: (composes herself)

RON: When I lift 'em they climb the stairs, and

DEAN: (pauses) Can anyone else think of anything interesting to do?

ALL: No.

RON: When I shave 'em they ain't got hairs!

GOYLE: (tries to see)

RON: I've got two-

HARRY: (runs back in waving gun) (shoots Ron)

ALL: (gasp)

NEVILLE: You shot him!

HARRY: Yes!

NEVILLE: You actually shot him!

HARRY: Hurrah!

NEVILLE: (checks Ron's pulse) He is actually dead!

VOLDEMORT: (shakes head) Very bad taste, Harry. Shooting a guy in the middle of his song. Very bad taste.

HARRY: The music is over! Long live lack of singing!

ALL: Harry. The babe they called 'Harry',

HARRY: (confused) What?

ALL: He grew... grew, grew, and grew,

Grew up to be-- grew up to be

A boy called 'Harry',

HARRY: More singing? How can there be more singing?

ALL: A boy called 'Harry'.

He had arms... and legs... and hands... and feet,

This boy... whose name was 'Harry',

SEAMUS: Look on the bright side, it's about you.

ALL: And he grew... grew, grew, and grew--

Grew up to be--

Yes, he grew up to be

A teenager called 'Harry'--

A teenager called 'Harry',

HARRY: (falls to knees) NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

ALL: And his face became spotty.

Yes, his face became spotty,

And his voice dropped down low

And things started to grow

On young Harry and show

He was certainly no--

No girl named 'Harry',

Not a girl named 'Harry'.

FRED: What's wrong with not being a girl?

ANGELINA: What's wrong with being a girl?

ALL: And he started to shave

And have one off the wrist

And want to see girls

And go out and get pissed,

A man called 'Harry'--

This man called 'Harry'--

The man they called 'Harry'--

This man called 'Harry'!

HARRY: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (Kills himself)

And they're all dead

THE END

A/N: So that's it. I will write no more. *Ducks rotten fruit* But I understand some of you won't exactly be happy with that (especially those who kept crying out for the Lumberjack song even though I'm certain I said somewhere that I was never going to do it...) so I've come up with something. I was my hands of this fic but that doesn't mean it has to be over. If you want to write a sequel or a continuation or a parody or just write a fic about Morbo and his adventures in Morbo land, be my guest. I offer up to you, free of charge, everything in this fic. Go on, strip it clean!

LUCIUS: Wahey!

Okay then... You can use anything. The setting, the ideas, the characters, the songs, the plot (if you can find it), the furniture, anything! Just write ahead. All I ask is that you owl me or email me or review to say if you're doing it so I can read them all.

Thanks for reading.