Half Blood Prince The Musical

Scene 12: Gryffindor Common Room.

(Enter Harry, Ron and Hermione).

Hermione: (Singing) So Ron is once again Keeper for the team.

Harry: Only cos' you Confunded McLaggen.

Hermione: (dangerously) So it would seem.

(Hagrid pops up from behind one of the sofas).

Hagrid: But also, poor Aragog is ill,

It's got me really quite upset,

We've been together so long

That he's become more than a pet.

(Hagrid disappears behind the sofa).

Harry: You know, I never noticed it before, but Hagrid is a really good singer. Amazing, really.

Ron: To be honest Harry, I'm more amazed that he can hide behind the sofa without us noticing him.

Hermione: Anyway, Harry, how are things going with you and Draco? Are you any closer to finding out what it is he's up to?

Harry: Ah ...yes, well ...the thing about that is ...

Hermione: You've just been going on dates with him, haven't you? You haven't even tried questioning him about why he's been acting so strange lately?

Harry: You could put it like that.

Hermione: For crying out loud, Harry! You're the one who suspected him of being up to something in the first place!

Ron: Just what have you been doing with him anyway? No, on second thought, I really, really ...really don't want to know.

Harry: I'll have you know, Ronald ...

Ron: Why is it that people only call me 'Ronald' when they're cross with me?

Harry: Draco and I have done nothing of the sort. I am trying to find out what he's up to, but it's going to take time. I plan to refuse to 'fool around' until he tells me what his plans are.

Hermione: Are you sure you can keep your pants on long enough for that?

Harry: (muttering) Bitch.

Ron: So if you're not doing the horizontal tango with Malfoy, what do you do?

Harry: Oh, believe me, Ron, Draco is much more fun than we've given him credit for all these years. He's exciting, he's wild, he's ...well, he's ...

(Music starts. Harry rips off his school robes to reveal tight leather trousers and a loose, revealing shirt. The slick haired dancing boys from scene 7 appear in the background.)

Ron: Oh great, these guys are back.

(Harry starts to sing)

Livin La Vida Draco

He's into remunerations,
Riches and hard cash
I feel a premonition,
that guy's gonna make me crash!

He's into new sensations,
Fancy foods, sweet and sour,
He's got a new addiction,
For every other hour!
He makes you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain,
He'll make you live his crazy life,
But he'll take away your pain,
Like a wand to your brain,

Upside, inside out,
Livin' la vida Draco,
He'll push and pull you down,
Livin' la vida Draco,
His lips are ghostly pale,
And his skin's the colour of cocoa,
He will wear you out,
Livin' la vida Draco,
Livin' la vida Draco,
He's livin' la vida Draco.

He never drinks the water,
He makes you order Firewhiskey,
But once you've had a taste of him,
nothing seems too risky,
yes he gets so damn frisky!

Upside, inside out,
Livin' la vida Draco,
He'll push and pull you down,
livin' la vida Draco,
His lips are ghostly, pale
and his skin's the colour of cocoa,
He will wear you out,
livin' la vida Draco,
livin' la vida Draco,
He's livin' la vida Draco...

He makes you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain,
He'll make you live his crazy life,
But he'll take away your pain,
Like a wand to your brain,

Upside, inside out,
Livin' la vida Draco,
He'll push and pull you down,
livin' la vida Draco,
His lips are ghostly, pale
and his skin's the colour of cocoa,
He will wear you out,
livin' la vida Draco,
livin' la vida Draco,
He's livin' la vida Draco...

(Song ends to rapturous, over-excited fan-girl applause. The Draco dancing boys bow out and exit stage left and right.)

Ron: That's the second song we've had about Malfoy now. If you ask me, this thing is in serious danger of becoming a Draco-fest!

Hermione: And what was with that 'his skin's the colour of cocoa'? Draco's skin is more like vanilla ice cream than anything else ...

Harry: Yes, but vanilla ice cream doesn't rhyme with 'Draco'. Very few things do, when you think about it.

(Exit Harry. Safety curtain starts to come down very slowly.)

Ron: Hang on a second! Why's the safety curtain coming down? The show's not over yet is it?

Hermione: No, this is just the interval. You know, a break.

Ron: I know what an interval is, Hermione.

Hermione: Sure. Well, I don't know about you, but I rather fancy a choc-ice.

(Exit Hermione.)

Ron: Sounds good, but I think I'll use the interval to work on my solo ...oof!

(Ron is hit by the slowly descending safety curtain and exits, rubbing his head and cursing loudly.)

INTERVAL