Half Blood Prince The Musical

Scene 10: Dumbledore's Office

(Dumbledore is standing by his desk, upon which sits his Pensieve. Enter Harry, stage left.)

Harry: (Singing) A very good evening to you sir!

Dumbledore: Good evening, Harry, do come in and sit,

I hear you have detention already?

Harry: It doesn't bother me sir,

Because Snape is nought but a g...

Dumbledore: Yes, Harry, I get the picture. Now then, I am sure you have been wondering what I have planned for you in these ...for want of a better word ...lessons?

Harry: Yes, and I expect the audience wants to know as well.

Dumbledore: (In an audible growl) Damn it, boy! Show some professionalism! You're supposed to ignore the audience! This is not a pantomime! Are you an amateur or just trying to annoy me?

Harry: Sorry ...geez, I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition!

(Fanfare. Three cardinals burst through the door.)

Cardinal Ximinez: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise ...

Dumbledore: Excuse me, but you want 'Monty Python Live'. That's in the theatre across the road.

Cardinal Ximinez: Oh ...sorry. Come, Cardinal Fang, Cardinal Biggles!

(The three cardinals exit.)

Dumbledore: Anyway, over the course of these 'lessons', we shall be visiting several people's memories to try to determine what made Voldemort such a sadistic psycho bastard.

Harry: So, each of these memories will tell us something about Voldemort?

Dumbledore: Certainly, Harry, for you see ...

(Soft, easily recognisable music starts. Dumbledore starts singing.)

Memory, all alone in the moonlight ...

Harry: Whoa there! Stop that right now!

(Dumbledore stops singing but some of the musicians in the orchestra are still playing. Harry aims a hex in their general direction.)

Random musician: Aargh! My tuba!

Harry: I would have thought that you of all people would know, sir, that any parodies or piss-takes of any songs in any musicals composed by ...He Whose Music Must Be Adored (makes bowing motion) would mean a most terrible punishment for whoever sings it!

Dumbledore: Harry, fear of a name only ...

Harry: Don't think that 'fear of a name' crap will help you, sir!

Dumbledore: (Genuinely rattled) Well ...I ...nobody told ...I didn't know! I prefer 'Grease' myself.

Harry: (Icily) I'll pretend I didn't hear that. I'll let you off this time but if it happens again I won't be able to protect you from the others.

Dumbledore: Well ...um ...shall we enter the Pensieve?

Harry: Might as well. It's virtually impossible to rescue this scene now.

(Harry and Dumbledore disappear into the Pensieve. Blackout and curtain.)

Scene 11: Hogwart's Corridor

(Draco is standing by a statue, stage left. He is looking distraught. Enter Harry stage right.)

Harry: That Dumbledore ...so full of mysteries ...he's either on to something big or he's finally losing his marbles ...

(Harry and Draco spot each other across the stage. They both draw their wands and point them at each other.)

Draco: What are you doing wondering the stage at this time of the evening, Potter?

Harry: Malfoy ...have you been crying?

Draco: What? No, of course not! How dare you suggest ...

Harry: You have. I can see it.

(Draco lowers his wand.)

Draco: OK, so what if I have? It's all right for you, Mr. Confidence. You can come out of the closet and nobody would dare say a thing against you because you're 'The Chosen One'. I have something important to do, something that will soon force me to leave Hogwarts forever. I don't have your strength, Harry.

Harry: What's stopping you from coming out, Draco?

Draco: My father for one. Then there's You Know Who. He'd kill me if he knew that I have feelings for ...

Harry: Feelings for who, Draco?

Draco: It's 'whom', Harry.

Harry: OK then, feelings for whom?

Draco: (faltering) I ...you can't ...you don't ...I can't just admit that I have feelings for you, Harry. It's not that simple.

Harry: Yes it is. You just did it.

Draco: Wow, that was easier than I thought it would be. The problem is, there's admitting my feelings and then there's acting on them. Ever since first year, I've felt as if I'm supposed to be your enemy, as if I'm supposed to constantly take you on ...

(Harry takes Draco's hand gently.)

Harry: Then take me on.

TAKE ON ME

Draco: Talking away,
I don't know what I'm to say ...

Harry: I'll say it anyway.
Today's another day to find you
Shying away .
I'll be coming for your love, O.K?

Harry: Take on me (echo: take on me)
Take me on (take on me)

Draco: I'll be gone
In a month or two

Draco: So needless to say I'm odds and ends
But that's me, stumbling away
Slowly learning that life is O.K.

Harry: Say after me,
It's no better to be safe than sorry.

Harry: Take on me (echo: take on me)
Take me on (echo: take on me)

Draco: I'll be gone
In a month or two.

(Instrumental)

Draco: The things that you say,
Is it truth or just to play
My worries away?
You're all the things I've got to remember.

Harry: You're shying away
I'll be coming for you anyway.

Harry: Take on me (echo: take on me)
Take me on (echo: take me on)

Draco: I'll be gone
In a month or two.

(Music fades. Harry and Draco come together for a gentle, beautiful and legal (yah boo sucks and a big middle finger to Section 28) kiss. Lights fade. Down curtain).