Half Blood Prince The Musical

Scene 5: The Burrow (or to be more specific, the kitchen of the burrow)

(Enter Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny)

Hermione: So Dumbledore is going to give you private lessons? I wonder what he'll be teaching you?

Ron: Uh, Hermione?

Hermione: What?

Ron: Don't forget that we're in a musical. You're supposed to reveal any plot points through singing.

Hermione: It's hardly compulsory, Ron.

Harry: Well, actually it is. Dumbledore said so last night.

Hermione: Oh, very well (breaks into song)

Dumbledore is giving you private tuition

I assume it's of his own volition?

Ron: What does 'volition' mean?

Harry: Shut up (Also breaking into song)

Of course it is, you can bet your cat

Hermione: What's he going to be teaching you?

Harry: "A little of this, a little of that"

Ginny: I hate to interrupt, let me be brief

There's three owls coming and ...

Hermione: Oh good grief!

Harry: They'll be our O.W.L. results.

Hermione: Oh no ...oh no ...oh no ...

Ron: Hang on a tic, aren't we singing anymore?

Ginny: You weren't singing in the first place.

Harry: We're not singing because it's not an essential plot point. However, we could do with some suspenseful music. (Signals to the orchestra, who start playing something that involves a lot of thundering 'dun' sounds on a piano')

Hermione: Oh no!

(Three owls fly in through the kitchen window. Harry, Ron and Hermione retrieve their envelopes. One of the owls messes itself from stage fright before being helped off by the other two.)

Ron: Seven passes!

Harry: Same.

Ginny: Hermione? How did you do?

Hermione: I - not bad.

(Ron grabs her results)

Ron: Come off it, Hermione. (Powerful music starts. Ron grabs a microphone and a Tina Turner wig.) Everyone knows you're ...

Simply the best!

Better than all the re...

Harry: Whoa! Whoa! (Signals for the music to cut. It does so. Ron is left looking even more of an idiot than usual.)

Ron: What?

Harry: There are times when it's appropriate to burst into a full-on musical number and then there are times when it's not.

Ron: Which one was that?

Hermione: The latter.

Ron: The what?

Ginny: Never mind. Just understand that you don't just start singing over the tiniest thing.

Ron: (Muttering) Didn't stop Dumbledore earlier.

Hermione: Yes, but that had comedic value. You can sing for no good reason if you know that it's going to be funny.

Ron: Well, can I do that then?

Ginny: Yes, but not now. (Looking offstage.) Oh no, it's Phlegm!

Hermione: Come on you two, this way!

(Ginny exits stage right. Hermione drags Harry and Ron up the stairs. Fleur runs on carrying a guitar.)

Fleur: Ah! My adoring publeec! Une, Deux, Trois! (Starts playing the guitar.)

Free La Jacque, Free La Jacque ...

(Blackout. Curtains draw. Sounds of a struggle accompanied by French profanities. Curtains come back up. The stage is separated into two areas. On one side is Ron's bedroom, on the other side is the hall of Malfoy Manor. Draco is standing there in darkness. Enter Harry, Ron and Hermione in Ron's bedroom).

Ron: I don't know what you've got against Fleur, Hermione. I think she's ...hey, isn't that Malfoy standing over there?

Hermione: (Hissing) We're not supposed to notice him. It's a stage convention.

Ron: I don't care what it is; he's in my room!

Harry: No he's not. He's in Malfoy Manor. That half of the stage is Malfoy Manor; this half is your room. Don't worry; it'll all make sense in a minute.

Hermione: I wouldn't bet on that. Anyway, you look really down, Harry. Is there anything you want to talk about?

Harry: Actually, there is. Now that it's just the three of us here...

Ron: And Malfoy.

Harry: And Malfoy ...shut up! There's something I've been dying to tell you both for a long time.

Hermione: Yes?

Harry: I'm ...well I ...I'm gay.

Ron: Well, if that's what you want, mate.

Hermione: You know we'll always support you, Harry. How do you feel?

Harry: Now that I've told you guys, you mean? I feel ...good ...I feel like I'm ready to ...come out!

I'm Coming Out (Of The Closet)

Chorus: I'm coming out
I'm coming
I'm coming out
I'm coming out
I'm coming out
I'm coming out

Harry: I'm coming out
The world's gonna know
Gonna let it show
I'm coming out

The world's gonna know
I'm gonna let it show

There's a new me coming out
And on this great day
All I wanna say

Is I'm proud to be gay
I think this time around
I'm gonna do it
Like you never do it
Like you never knew it
Ooh, I'll make it through

The time has come for me
To break out of the closet
I have to shout
That I'm coming out!

(Spotlight comes up on Draco. He sings in a more sorrowful tone.)
Draco: I'm staying in
I wish the world could know

Can't let it show
I'm staying in
I wish the world could know
Can't let is show

I want to show the world
All that I wanna be

In all my homosexuality
There's so much more to me
Somehow, I have to make them
Just understand

Harry: I got it well in hand
And, oh, now I'm so near
I'm spreadin' love
There's no need to fear
And I just feel so queer
Every time I hear:

I'm coming out
The world's gonna know
Gonna let it show
I'm coming out

The world's gonna know
I'm gonna let it show

(Music fades out. Deafening applause. Draco exits stage left.)

Ron: Well, mate, it looks as if you're not the only one who's gay. I've always suspected Malfoy might be ...

Hermione: Ron, you idiot! We're not supposed to know that Draco is having trouble telling his family and friends about his sexuality. The audience know but we don't. It's called dramatic irony!

Ron: Really? I call it being bloody stupid.

(Lights fade out. Curtain.)