Rating:
PG-13
House:
Schnoogle
Characters:
Harry Potter
Genres:
General Humor
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire
Stats:
Published: 07/05/2002
Updated: 05/16/2006
Words: 121,941
Chapters: 23
Hits: 20,898

Year V

The Annoying One

Story Summary:
Jesse McCade's in trouble. He's been bounced through two wizarding schools and is hoping to get kicked out of the wizarding world to embark on career as an illusionist in Vegas (or Monte Carlo)...too bad Dumbledore's got other plans.

Chapter 01 - Chapter One - Goodbye Vegas and Monte Carlo, Hello England

Chapter Summary:
Well...the holidays are half over and we find Jesse McCade slacking at poolside without a care in the world...until that stupid owl arrives with a letter reminding him of the deal he made with Dumbledore. So, reluctantly, Jesse heads to England. Meanwhile, back in London, a mysterious cell-phone using wizard (yes, you read that right...a wizard with a cell-phone) decides to kill a couple Death Eaters for sport.
Posted:
08/03/2002
Hits:
1,524
Author's Note:
Not much to say here...just posting up a recently updated (error-corrected) copy.

Chapter One

Good-bye Vegas and Monte Carlo, Hello England.


Jesse leaned back in the chair and adjusted his sunglasses as he sipped some lemonade. Yes, this was the life: parents gone for a month, the house to himself...summer break did have its perks. He looked over at Joscoe who was sitting in another chair curled up around what appeared to be a piece of salmon. His parents weren't too mad about his transfer to another school, although they did ground him for a week and took away his wand. That was pretty much the end of it. A week after his punishment ended, Devin and Simone McCade left again, leaving Jesse at their San Francisco home. Normally, they would take Jesse and he usually looked forward to joining them on one of their "excursions". But this time around, his parents told him to stay home until it was time to take off for Hogwarts. At first, he thought that it was part of his punishment and his parents acted as if it was, but there was something else. He remembered one night trying to sneak out and find batteries for his CD player when he overheard his parents arguing in their room.

"Simone, look, he's a target either way."

"I don't care, I think we should take him with us. He gets into too much trouble as it is. With Lord Thom-...You-Know-Who back, it's not safe."

"Look, Voldemort's return has got everyone rattled. He'll be safe here. Besides, Dumbledore's assured me that he has some people watching Jesse already. I don't like it either, but if we take our kid with us, we could be putting him in more danger."

"I know, but I feel...JESSE! GO TO BED!"

Jesse shook his head as he remembered diving down the hallway to avoid his mom's angry tirade. But the next morning, when Jesse tried to get them to talk about the previous night's conversation, his parents told him not to worry about it...just to keep quiet and keep a low profile.

So Jesse decided to actually listen to his parents and enjoy a lazy summer at their hillside home, sitting at pool-side and looking out across the bay at the Golden Gate Bridge. So that's how his life would be for the next month: nice, blissful...not a care in the world...until that letter landed on his face. He grabbed the envelope and looked at the address.

Mr. Jesse McCade

1st lawn chair next to the pool

1425 Northwood Drive

San Francisco, California

A screeching noise made Jesse look up and he saw an owl sitting on the roof of the pool house. "Aw no," he groaned, "not already."

He turned the letter over and saw the official Hogwarts seal on the back of the envelope. He looked back to Joscoe who was watching him. "You know, Jos," he said as he tore the letter open. "I could have avoided this by just letting them keep you."

Joscoe meowed at him then went back to eating his salmon.

"Okay, let's see what we got here." Jesse opened the letter and began to read it.

Dear Mr. McCade,

We are pleased to inform you that your transfer to Hogwarts has been approved. Enclosed is a list of books and supplies you will need for your fifth year. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

Jesse then looked at the supplies listed on the second sheet of paper. "Standard book of spells, Year 5...another dark arts book, another transfigurations book, blah, blah, blah"

He shook his head. "I'm half tempted to just not answer," he said as he looked back at the first page of the letter. That was when he noticed a small handwritten message at the bottom of the letter, which was kind of strange, because it wasn't there when he read it the first time.

Remember our deal, Jesse. You will be expected in London within twelve hours of receiving this letter.

Albus Dumbledore.

Jesse cursed and got up out of his chair. Joscoe looked up and gave him a questioning snarl.

"Yeah, Jos, we've gotta' head off to London. Think you're up to it?"

The calico got up and stretched his legs, then jumped off the chair and sat down in front of Jesse.

"Okay...I'll pack my things and we'll be off. But before we do..."

He went inside the house, grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and wrote a quick message to give the owl that was still waiting on top of the poolhouse.

Dear Professor/Big Kahuna,

I received your warning/threat/message and will be in London to pick up my things in Diagon Alley.

Jesse McCade

Reluctant transfer Student

PS: Is there anyway I can convince you to send me to Monte Carlo instead?

A half-hour later, Jesse had changed clothes and was loading the last of his supplies into his footlocker when Joscoe walked into his room. He looked down at Joscoe and nodded. "Yeah, just about set...wait...hold on."

He grabbed his leather jacket and put it on, then grabbed a gym bag and tossed it into the footlocker. Then he sat on the footlocker and picked up his cat. "Okay, Jos, you know where to go."

There was a flash of light and Jesse found himself sitting outside the Leaky Cauldron in London. It was late in the evening and there was hardly anyone on the streets which was probably a good thing, because it would have been hard to explain to a crowd of people how a kid from San Francisco just popped out of nowhere. Joscoe jumped out of Jesse's arms and looked around before looking back up to Jesse. Jesse nodded. "Yeah, sure...go ahead...just don't get lost, okay?"

Joscoe hissed at him as if to say "Yeah, right" then disappeared into the night, leaving Jesse standing outside the Leaky Cauldron.

Jesse sighed as he got up and picked up his footlocker. "Well," he said to himself in an exaggerated accent, "once more unto the breach, Jesse me boyo." And with that last comment, he entered the Leaky Cauldron.

The Leaky Cauldron was a new experience for Jesse, although it did kind of remind him of Cosmo's Grill in San Francisco. Unlike Cosmo's, however, it didn't have that thick smelling incense burning constantly. Not only that, the Cauldron actually looked...well...cleaner than Cosmo's. And while the Leaky Cauldron had its share of strange looking wizarding folk, they didn't look like strung out hippies or refugees from a Grateful Dead concert. Then again, Jesse was certain that he must have looked strange walking into the Cauldron with jeans, a leather jacket, and a footlocker in tow. A couple of the patrons looked at him for a moment then went back to their meals.

A toothless old man came out from behind the counter. Though his tone was friendly, he seemed to regard Jesse with a little suspicion. "Ah, good evening young man. Can I help you?"

Jesse nodded. "Um...yeah, I'm looking for a place to stay tonight. I'm going to Hogwarts this year and I'm heading to Diagon Alley tomorrow to get my books."

At the mention of Hogwarts, the suspicion vanished. "Ah. I'm sorry. It's just that you look out of place for a student. For a moment, I thought a muggle had somehow seen past the enchantments and come in here by accident."

Jesse smiled at him. "Nope. No accident and not a muggle, no matter how hard I try."

That last comment got a soft chuckle from the man who extended his hand. "Well, if it helps, you look fairly convincing, right down to an American accent."

Jesse gave him a mock frown as he shook the man's hand. "I'm afraid the accent's real, too."

The proprietor laughed again. "Well, nobody's perfect. Welcome to the Cauldron...my name's Tom. If it's a room you want, that'll be seven galleons."

Jesse pulled a pouch out of his jacket and handed the man eight gold coins. "Here you go. Think you can send me up the last couple weeks of the Daily Prophet too?"

"No problem. I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Jesse McCade."

"Very well then, Mr. McCade, I'll bring the paper up to you...and maybe a sandwich as well?"

"Yeah, thanks."

Tom gave Jesse a room key and then helped Jesse carry his footlocker upstairs. After Tom left, Jesse looked around the room for a second before falling backwards on the bed to stare up at the ceiling. After spending a few minutes looking at the ceiling, Jesse was interrupted by Tom who brought him a roast beef sandwich and several rolled up copies of the Daily Prophet.

He spent the next hour reading through the various news articles in the daily prophet. One headline caught his eye.

MINISTRY OF MAGIC DENIES RUMOURS OF DARK RETURN


To calm down public fears and quell the rumours that have hit the wizarding world, Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge vehemently denied the return of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

"It is a preposterous and unsubstantiated rumor," the minister said in a public address outside the Ministry Building. "We have investigated the rumors and allegations and found no evidence that suggests the Lord...Thingy... has returned."

Jesse shook his head as he rolled up the scroll and started to eat his sandwich. "Yeah, that's right, stick your head in the ground and maybe the problem will go away."

He caught a flash of light out of the corner of his eye and turned to see Joscoe sitting on the bedside table, chewing away on a piece of fish. He reached over and scratched behind the calico's ears. "Hey, bud, everything okay?"

Joscoe only purred and went back to eating his dinner. "I'm glad one of us is having a good time," Jesse muttered. He finished off the rest of sandwich then grabbed his CD player out of his footlocker. He had at least nine more hours before the shops opened up in Diagon Alley...he might as well get some sleep. He put on the headphones and flopped back on his bed as the nice soothing sounds of Pink Floyd began to play. As he started to drift off to sleep, Jesse couldn't help wondering why he was even going to Hogwarts in the first place.



Across the street from the Leaky Cauldron, a cloaked figured stepped out of the shadows and lowered his hood. He appeared to be a young man in his late teens or early twenties. He closed his eyes for a moment and concentrated...then opened his eyes and smiled. Yes...the target was here. There was a soft hissing noise and he looked over his shoulder to see a vaguely humanoid shape crouched as if waiting to strike. He shook his head and held up his arm as if to halt their attack. "No...not yet."

He reached into his coat and pulled out a cell-phone. He punched in a number and waited. "Yes, this is Nicholas. You were right, Jesse McCade has returned to England. Whoa...hold on. I'll call you back, something's not right."

The young man called Nicholas stepped back into the shadows when he noticed two cloaked figures apparate outside the building. Normally, two wizards apparating didn't bother him, but risking it here on a public street, even this late an hour, was odd. He willed himself into the shadows, blending in, and listened.

"I don't understand," said the first wizard. "Why don't we just finish off 'The Boy Who Lived'? The master has returned, why bother with this facade?"

"Because," said the other, "it is our lord's will to observe the boy. He suspects that Dumbledore is up to something. The old fool was at the Ministry a few weeks ago, but did not conduct any business with the Minister himself, which means our spy at the Ministry has no clue what he was doing there. However, our contact at the Ministry found out that muggle-loving Arthur Weasley is bringing Harry Potter in tomorrow along with his own children to purchase their school supplies."

"So what? We just observe and do nothing?"

"That is the Dark Lord's command."

"Damn," Nicholas cursed, "Death Eaters." He had heard rumors that this obsolete organization of dark wizards had resurfaced, but he didn't believe them. Unfortunately, he thought to himself, the rumors were true and these bastards were going to ruin everything.

The two wizards heard him and turned in his direction. Nicholas sighed. He hadn't planned on running into Voldemort's followers, although he wasn't too surprised. Might as well get rid of them, he thought as he stepped out of the shadows, knowing that the shader was still there waiting to back him up. "Gentlemen," he said as he grinned at them, "nice night we're having."

They both stopped and seemed to hesitate. Finally, after a few seconds, one of them spoke. "Who are you?"

Nicholas chuckled and lifted a gloved hand. "Nobody important, but would someone please tell me why two Death Eaters are casing the Cauldron?"

Both of them went for their wands and Nicholas only laughed as a ball of fire exploded from his hand and engulfed one of the wizards before they could call up a spell. The other managed to get his wand out and pointed it at Nicholas who really didn't seem too concerned. Instead Nicholas turned his head slightly towards the shadows and nodded.

"Ava-" was all the Death Eater was able to say before something leapt from the shadows and ripped out his throat. He was still trying to scream as the shader dragged him down, but all that came was a soft gurgle. Nicholas bent down and picked up the man's wand.

"I guess you won't be needing this," he told the dying Death Eater as he studied the wand for a moment. "Hmmmm...oak...nice. I'm guessing you got what...dragon heartstring in this puppy?"

He gave it a wave. "Very good balance," he said but he got no comment from the Death Eater who had just had his head ripped off by the shader. Nicholas shook his head in disapproval at the shader that was still chomping away on its kill. "You know," he said with a chuckle, "you could have waited a little longer."

He pocketed the wand in his cloak and kicked the charred remains of the first Death Eater which crumbled into dust. This is not good," he said as he pulled the cell-phone out of his cloak again and re-dialed the number he called earlier.

"Yeah, it's me again. Oh, no problem...but I just came across a couple Death Eaters. Yeah, they've been dealt with...although I better clear the area. Don't worry, nothing can be traced back to me. Hell, I even got a souvenir. Yeah...sure...no problem. Talk to you later."

He closed the phone then turned back to the shader. "Come, we must be going."

The shader nodded in agreement, then took one more bite out of its victim's back before following its master into the shadows.



About twenty minues later, two wizards from the Ministry of Magic were examining the bodies. The first one was prodding the ashes of one of the corpses while the other wizard questioned Tom, the proprietor of the Leaky Cauldron.

"So, you have no idea as to what happened, Tom?"

"No sir," said Tom who was looking a little green. He had found the bodies and had called the Ministry right away.

"Okay, tell us what you do remember."

"Well, it was gettin' late and everyone was turnin' in. Business has been kind of slow, you know...just before the last moment rush as students come and get their supplies."

The Ministry official smiled. "Yes, tell me about it. I have to bring my family in later today. So what happened?"

"Well, I was shuttin' things down for the night, when I heard what I thought was someone shouting a spell. But I wasn't sure if that was my imagination or the noise from street traffic outside. But I decided to check anyway after I finished closing things up."

"How long was that?"

Tom shrugged. "Oh...I don't know...maybe a couple minutes. But anyway, I went outside and that's when I discovered the bodies and called the Ministry. That's pretty much it."

The wizard nodded and sighed. "Okay Tom," he said, "that'll do. Oh...wait. One last thing, have you taken in any strangers lately?"

"Not from the usual...well, except maybe the boy from the colonies."

The Ministry official raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? He arrived...I was under the impression that Dumbledore was going to have to drag him over here. I guess I lost my bet with the old man."

"You know about him?" Tom asked.

Arthur Weasley didn't bother suppressing a chuckle. "Oh yes. We know about him. I was supposed to fetch him when I arrived with Molly and the others later today. Where is he now?"

"Upstairs sleeping."

"Good. Tom, I need a favor, can you keep an eye on him for me until I come back later?"

Tom nodded and Arthur patted him on the shoulder. "Thanks, I owe you."

Tom laughed. "I'll just add that to your bill." Then he disappeared back into the Cauldron.

Arthur Weasley shook his head, the smile fading slightly as he knelt down next to his partner who was still examining the bodies.

"What have you got, Morgan?"

The younger wizard shook his head. Though Arthur felt that the Minister assigned the young Auror to his department to spy on him under the guise of "showing the new boy around", Arthur couldn't help liking the young man. He was friendly enough and certainly knew how to do his job. "I don't know, Arthur. This isn't usually our department, but from what I've been able to figure out so far is that the guy over there was mauled by some sort of animal. While this guy here, we're talking about some serious magic. I mean this bloke is pretty much nothing but a pile of ash. The other guy...well, my best guess is that something was trying to eat him. Then again, I don't feel too sorry for him."

Arthur Weasley gave his partner a curious look. "Why do you say that?"

Morgan walked over to where the other body was and picked up a severed arm that was still partially covered by a shirt-sleeve. He pulled the fabric back to reveal the flesh on the fore-arm and the dark mark.

Arthur cursed under his breath. "Death Eaters," he said finally after a few moments of silence.

Morgan nodded. "Yes, Death Eaters. But who would deliberately target them and leave their bodies out in a muggle street?"

"I don't know, Morgan. Like you said, this is not even our department, but with the all the shuffling going around at the Ministry..." Arthur let his voice trail off. Though he liked Morgan, he didn't want to risk the young man hearing him refer to the Minister as a complete git and report it back to the git himself."

"It is kind of aggravating, sir. But at least things are still under control somewhat."

Arthur sighed and shook his head. "No Morgan, they're not. They just haven't completely fallen apart yet. Did you handle the muggle law officers?"

"Yes...a simple memory charm did the trick. Besides, they had to answer another call. Apparently, someone had broken into a fish market and made off with several portions of salmon."

Arthur rubbed the side of his head in a circular pattern. He could already feel a headache starting to form. "Let me guess...no sign of forced entry, the place was completely locked up?"

"How did you know?"

Arthur smiled sheepishly. "That, my friend, does fall into our jurisdiction, but I'll deal with it. But first, let's take care of these bodies."


Author notes: Okay, for you first time readers who are probably going "what the hell? A wizard with a cell-phone?", all I ask is to stick around. There will be more revealed about Nicholas and who he works for (and an explanation as to why he can waste Death Eaters so easily).