Rating:
PG-13
House:
Schnoogle
Characters:
Harry Potter
Genres:
General Humor
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire
Stats:
Published: 07/05/2002
Updated: 05/16/2006
Words: 121,941
Chapters: 23
Hits: 20,898

Year V

The Annoying One

Story Summary:
Jesse McCade's in trouble. He's been bounced through two wizarding schools and is hoping to get kicked out of the wizarding world to embark on career as an illusionist in Vegas (or Monte Carlo)...too bad Dumbledore's got other plans.

Year V Prologue

Chapter Summary:
Jesse McCade is in trouble. He's been bounced through two wizarding schools and is on the fast track to being cast out of the Wizarding World. But that's okay, it's all part of his master plan of leaving the Wizard World and becoming a professional illusionist in Vegas (or Monte Carlo). Unfortunately, Dumbledore's got other plans.
Posted:
07/05/2002
Hits:
4,105
Author's Note:
Yeah, I now what some of you are saying: "Uh-oh, another American Exchange/MS-GS monster...run!!!!"

July 25, 1985

It was the evening of twenty-fifth day of the seventh month...not really an important day by any means, save for those who were born on that day or had something significant happen in their lives, but overall an unimportant day to a majority of the world, save for a few who realized that something had changed.

In a place called Surrey, a four year old boy was lying on his bed in his little cupboard/room under the stairs, choking back tears and hoping that things would be better in a few days when he turned five, unaware of his destiny and what awaited him.

In a mansion in Wiltshire, a five year old boy angrily threw his glass of pumpkin juice at a young house-elf because it didn't taste right and laughed as the house-elf punished itself for not pleasing its master.

In Saint Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, a five year old boy was unconscious to the world, yet screaming in a nightmare of fiery pain and agony after nearly being tortured to death.

And in the office of the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a fifteen year old boy with pale skin and blond hair sat in a chair, head bowed, not in prayer...he never considered himself religious, but in despair and bitterness at the twisted irony of his situation.

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this," the young wizard said to himself, his voice barely more than a whisper, but that didn't keep it from echoing slightly through the office.

"And how was it supposed to happen?" softly asked another voice.

The boy looked up to see Albus Dumbledore entering the room, but he didn't answer the question. After all, how could he? He wasn't supposed to be here, this was not how it was supposed to be.

Dumbledore studied the young man for a moment before he spoke again. As a wizard, he had faced many situations and overcome many challenges over the years, but he had never encountered anything like this. He pulled a gold Prefect's badge out of his pocket and handed it to the boy. "I do believe this is yours."

The boy looked at the badge and chuckled bitterly as he remembered how he had once believed that being a Hogwarts Prefect would bring honor to his family name and that his father would respect him and finally view him with respect...how could he have been so naïve...so foolish? His eyes lingered on the badge before looking back up to Dumbledore. "Keep it," he said, sounding bitter and yet too tired to care anymore.

Dumbledore placed the badge on his desk. "While you reluctant to tell us your name, I had my suspicions and the scrying spells we used confirmed them. However, I must confess I was amused that the spell informed me that you were in two places at once." He walked behind his desk and pulled out an item that looked like a damaged hour-glass filled with glittering black sand. He placed the item on his desk next to the Prefect's badge and then returned his attention to the boy. "I guess the only questions that remain are how much damage have you done and what should we do with you?"

"Doesn't matter," said the boy. "I failed...I tried to prevent something and I didn't make it in time because she was there...she tried to kill me...her own flesh and blood."

"Failed?" Dumbldore was confused. "According to Simone McCade, you saved her life and that of her son, though young Jesse's condition is still critical and we may have to resort to some...questionable...means to help him."

The blond wizard looked up at him. "How is the boy?"

"Lucius Malfoy's repeated use of the Cruciatus on the child triggered something that should have remained dormant. Had the boy been a normal child, it might have killed him...which I am sorry to say may have been more merciful." Dumbledore walked over to a nearby wall and studied the moving photo of a gryphon in flight. "I have spoken to the parents and some of Saint Mungo's obliviators...it will take some work, but we might be able to wipe the boy's memories, reconstruct new ones, and place some blocks. With perhaps a year or two of observation and recovery time, he should at the very least be able to lead something resembling a normal life."

The young man was silent for a few seconds as he processed what Dumbledore had said and suddenly laughed...a bitter and cold laugh, one that almost sounded like it was on the verge of insanity. "You don't get it, old man...this is what happened. I wanted to stop it, I wanted to change things..." he trailed off in mid-sentence, shaking his head.

"Do I understand this, correctly, my boy? You came here to prevent what happened tonight?" Dumbledore leaned back against his desk as he suddenly understood the whole situation. "Had you not interfered, the McCades would have died."

The boy mumbled something, but the older wizard didn't catch it. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"'Choose a destiny before one chooses you.'..." the boy repeated, though he was voicing out loud his thoughts instead of actually addressing Dumbledore. "Dimitrias...the old bastard...he knew...he knew all along what was going to happen. It was never my choice."

"Oh, but it was," said Dumbledore. "You could have let Lucius Malfoy and the others murder the McCades, but you didn't. In that moment, you made a choice."

"I only made that choice because SHE was there and tried to kill me...she knew all along as well what had happened because she participated. I did this hoping to prevent her murder, but I did not know she was involved with...this."

Dumbledore took the damaged time turner off his desk and then tapped it once with his wand. The tip of his wand began to glow and he tapped the Prefect badge once...the magical properties of the time-turner aligning themselves with that of the Prefect Badge. "So the question I have for you now, boy, is this? What now?"

"Does it matter?" asked the boy. "I failed to accomplish what I was supposed to have done."

"No," corrected Dumbledore, "you accomplished what you what you were brought here for...you merely failed to do what you wanted to do."

"So you're telling me that this was supposed to happen?"

Dumbledore shook his head as he held out the time-turner in front of the younger wizard. "No, it happened because you chose to come here....had you not made the decision...well, time is tricky stuff, which is why I prefer not to tinker with it. But you have another choice...are you going to stay here and wallow in what you perceive as defeat, or are you willing to see this through to the end?"

Outside the castle, the centaur known as Firenze stood by the lake as he watched the stars, hoping to get a glimpse of what the fates may or may not have planned when a flash of blue-green light caught his eye. He glanced towards the castle and saw the light emanate from the window of the Headmaster's office. It only lasted for a second or two, and too any other observers who might have been there, it would have been dismissed simply as a spell being used by the Headmaster.

But Firenze could feel it, a sort of ripple effect that, while not seen or felt by others, made him momentarily dizzy. He shook off the wave of nausea that had briefly overwhelmed him and then looked up at the stars. Then a soft gentle breeze blew across the lake. He saw a small leaf, perhaps blown off from somewhere else on the grounds gently drift down in front of him before landing in the water. Nothing unusual, yet the slightest ripples caused by the leaf's impact on the water caught the centaur's attention...a sudden random occurrence that that disturbed the still and silent waters.

Firenze blinked a couple times and then returned his attention to the stars to confirm what he had sensed.

"Something is not right."

* * * *

Year V


Prologue: Sentenced to Hogwarts


Jesse sighed as he leaned back in his chair. "Look guys, is this really necessary?" he asked the two men standing on either side of him. Both of the men were wearing the emerald green cloaks of the Ministry of Magic and neither of them answered his question. "Hey, what if I have to go to the bathroom?"

"I think you can hold it," one of the guards replied. "Besides, this won't take long."

Jesse rolled his eyes. "Oh joy." He looked down the hallway he was sitting in, noting that there were no windows. "You know, the Ministry building would look a little bit more appealing if you let some light in here."

"Shut up."

"Wow...that's impressive. I come to the land of William Shakespeare and I find that we have gone from 'Alas poor Yoric, I knew him well' to 'Shut up'...and you say us Americans have no class."

The first guard grabbed Jesse by the collar. "Listen, boy. You have no idea of how much trouble you're in. You've violated several rules regarding underage wizardry. I'm surprised that they haven't just thrown you in Azkaban."

Jesse inwardly shuddered at the mention of the infamous wizard's prison. He was certain that he wouldn't be sent to Azkaban for his actions. They wouldn't send him to Azkaban for what was basically a harmless prank, would they?

The guard almost seemed to sense the fear in Jesse. "Yes," he sneered, "let's see how you handle yourself there."

Jesse was about to say something when the doors across from where he was sitting opened up. "Jesse McCade, you may enter."

Jesse slowly got to his feet and walked through the doorway. He stopped for a moment and looked around expecting a courtroom of some sort, but not this. Instead of a courtroom, he saw what appeared to be an office that looked like it was taken out of Victorian era England. He saw several paintings of London on the wood panel walls before he turned his attention to a desk where a middle aged woman sat, reading what appeared to be a scroll. Behind her stood two other wizards. One was a tall middle-aged man with thinning red hair and the other was a much older man with long silver hair and matching beard.

"Ah, Mr. McCade...so good of you to finally join us," the woman said as she looked up from the scroll.

Jesse gave her what he had hoped was an innocent smile. "I'm sorry, but I do not believe that I've had the pleasure..."

The woman fixed him with a cold glare. "Mr. McCade, I am Clarissa Ridgeton...I head the department of juvenile offenders with the Ministry of Magic. Rest assured, you will not be able to charm your way out of this. So let's dispense with the pleasantries and take a look at the charges against you. If your parents were here, we would settle this with them. But seeing as how they are unavailable and cannot be contacted, I have to deal with you."

Jesse's smile faded a little.

Ms. Ridgeton then looked back down at the scroll on her desk. "Now then, let's see what brought you here. I haven't actually gotten to those charges yet because I've been too engrossed reading the rest of your file."

She unrolled the rest of the scroll, and kept unrolling it until one end rolled off the desk. "Ah, here it is. It seems that you used some unauthorized magic at your school, the Marneons Academy."

"Um, it's a wizarding school, how can any use of magic over there be unauthorized?"

"You disrupted the floo network when you connected Marneons and Salem Center with a twenty-four hour two-way portal. On top of that, you and a couple other students threw an unauthorized party at both of your schools' respective dorms."

"Um...the correct term would be Rave, ma'am," Jesse said. He glanced up at the old wizard standing behind Ms. Ridgeton and he could have sworn that he saw the hint of a smile at the corner of the man's mouth. "Besides, it was an end of term celebration."

Ms. Ridgeton simply glared at him. "Well, your little 'end-of-term 'celebration' fouled up the floo network from Liverpool to Boston. There were nearly four hundred incidents of displaced wizards who were using the floo network at the time. One of them materialized in the middle of a rock concert."

"Whoa," Jesse laughed, "that must have looked cool."

"I assure you, Mr. McCade, it was no laughing matter. Luckily, most of the concert participants were too strung out on drugs and didn't notice."

"Okay, then I don't see what the problem is. Why didn't the guy just apparate out of there?"

"Mr. McCade, it's kind of impossible to apparate when you appear in the middle of what the muggles call a 'mosh pit' and bodies are slamming into you."

Jesse paused for a moment and imagined some old wizard appearing in the middle of a concert and being slam-danced by several half-drunk, strung out teenagers and young adults. He smiled as he imagined the wizard saying "what the bloody hell?" as he was being bounced around. Then he imagined the sound of broken bones as bodies kept crashing into the poor wizard and winced. The sound of Ms. Ridgeton clearing her throat brought Jesse back to reality and he smiled sheepishly.

"Uh...oops?" he said after an awkward moment of silence.

"Very good, Mr. McCade...'oops' indeed. Thankfully, Mr. Diggle was kind enough to forego the charges, though I don't see why. Then we have your other offenses...most of them involved the enchanting of muggle items."

"Hey, I was never going to let them out in the muggle world."

"Hmmm...enchanting papercups in mini-markets cups to make them bottomless..."

"I'm a kid, I need my Pepsi fix. Besides, I thought the ministry would be impressed with how I was able to contain five gallons of soda in a single cup and keep it cold and fizzy."

The hard eyes didn't let up on him. "Indeed, so why did you feel the need to enchant the other sleeves of cups that were at the store?"

Jesse shrugged. "Because I felt the muggle customers needed a break. I mean, most of the muggles that buy them are trapped in cars for long hours at a time while driving, trapped on a train, or walking on a hot summer day from one place to another. And I thought it would be cool."

The middle aged wizard with thinning red hair finally spoke up. "Yes, well Mr. McCade, we found a sleeve of those cups being used at a bar. A patron was using the cups to empty entire taps."

"Damn, I wish I had thought of that," Jesse said. "So I guess this means that you'll snap my wand and banish me from the wizarding community forever, right?"

Ms. Ridgeton was about to say something, but was cut off as the older wizard spoke first. "Am I to understand, Mr. McCade...that you do not wish to become a wizard?"

There was no anger or outrage in his voice, in fact, Jesse could definitely see a hint of curiosity and amusement in the man's eyes.

"Well...to be honest, yeah."

"Why?"

That made Jesse pause for a moment...why did he not want to be a wizard? It actually took him a few seconds to come up with an answer. "Well...I really don't see what the big deal is, you know? I mean, Mom's sort of an auror, Dad's a...well, I don't know what he is exactly except that he acquires magical items. But...what's the point? All I want to do, is make a lot of money, kick back, and relax. I was thinking of heading to Las Vegas and becoming an illusionist."

"Ah...so you prefer the more shallow indulgences of life."

"Well...yeah."

"You seem hesitant in your answer."

"Then it's settled," Ms. Ridgeton said as she looked up at the old man.

The old man chuckled. "Yes it is, Clarissa. I will accept him into the school."

"What!?!" Jesse and Ms. Ridgeton stopped and looked at eachother when they realized they both spoke in unison.

"But Professor Dumbledore," Ms. Ridgeton said, "you can't be serious."

"Yeah," Jesse agreed. "I'm with the old wrinkled lady, you can't be serious." Then he suddenly stopped...did she say Dumbledore? DUMBLEDORE!

The Albus Dumbledore! Aw...no...,

Jesse's mind groaned.

Albus Dumbledore chuckled softly and nodded. "Yes, Mr. McCade...that Albus Dumbledore and I am very serious. Clarissa, I will take full responsibility for young Jesse's actions while he attends Hogwarts."

"Whoa! Hold on! Excuse Me! Don't I get a say in this?"

"I'm afraid, Mr. McCade, that since you're still underage and your parents are currently working in the field, that it is up to Ms. Ridgeton to have a final say in this."

Jesse turned his attention to Ms. Ridgeton, hoping that she would dismiss Dumbledore's suggestion. But to his horror, she actually was considering the option. "Well, Albus, you do seem to have a way with dealing with troublemakers...very well....you can have him."

Jesse's heart sank. "NO! You can't do this! Remember, underage wizard, floo portal problems, history of minor violations? Kick me out! I've got plans..."

Clarissa Ridgeton did something really scary then...she smiled and it wasn't pretty. "Well then, Mr. McCade, it is in the interest of the Ministry of Magic that everything be done to prevent you from coming to a bad end and Albus Dumbledore's offer saves me a lot of paperwork."

"Fine, I'll just get thrown out."

"Oh no you don't, Mr. McCade," Ridgeton said as her evil grin got even bigger. "Albus Dumbledore said he will assume full responsibility for your actions...which means he has the leeway to deliver whatever punishment he sees fit in response to any act of mischief you might commit. In short...you will go to Hogwarts, you will remain there until you finish your education, even if it kills you..."

Jesse could have sworn that there was an echo as he heard those last words being repeated inside his head: "even if it kills you...kills you...kills you."

"Wait," he said, "can't I appeal this?"

Albus Dumbledore shook his head. "I'm afraid not, Jesse. Now...if you would be so kind as to accompany me outside, there are some things I wish to discuss with you." He then walked towards the door, guiding Jesse out of the office.


Clarissa Ridgeton watched as the door closed behind Albus Dumbledore, then turned to the other wizard still standing in the room. "Arthur, I don't think this is a good idea."

Arthur Weasley nodded in agreement. "Yes, but I trust Dumbledore's judgment on this. Besides, this is Devin and Simone McCade's son were talking about. It's only fitting that he be in Hogwarts."

"We are making the child a target, Arthur."

"Yes, well, like I said, this is the McCades we're talking about. Being targeted is their specialty."

"I still think this plan is risky. How can we be so sure the boy will follow the plan? You've read the report on him, he's a troublemaker."

Arthur smiled. "Because Dumbledore thinks that given his attitude in general, Jesse will fit in nicely with the group. Not only that, Jesse's other abilities will help as well."

"So we're sending the 'Boy Who Lived' a protector who has no clue or could possibly care less." Clarissa shook her head. "I still don't like this plan, especially since Lucius Malfoy's son attends the school. The McCades and the Malfoys do have a history, did you know?"

"Yes," Arthur Weasley said with a sly grin. "I know...and that should make things interesting."


Jesse felt awkward as THE Albus Dumbledore walked alongside him down the corridor. He was angry that his plans for Vegas had been stalled, but part of him was relieved that he would still be allowed to stay in the wizarding world for the moment...although he couldn't figure out why. After a few more moments of silence, Jesse finally spoke. "Um, look, um...Professor Dumbledore, sir...big kahuna. I know you think that you're trying to help me and all...but really, I think it would be best if you reconsidered and let me get cast out."

The old wizard chuckled. "Really, Jesse? Tell me, what exactly do you really want in Vegas?"

"Well...um...money...fame...money...girls...money...um...I did say money, right? Besides, I wasn't just thinking of Vegas. Monte Carlo would have been nice too."

"Ah...then tell me Mr. McCade, if money is all you care about, then why do you care about your friends?"

"Friends?" Jesse laughed. "I have none."

"I'm willing to bet Roxanne Sexton disagrees. After all, she did help you with the floo spell at Marneons...yet you covered for her...why?"

Jesse hesitated for a moment...then finally spoke. "Because she's already been through a lot of crap already, okay? She's been here enough times and I get the feeling another trip here would probably break her."

"And you risk yourself instead."

"This is the first time I'd been caught on anything. I figured, worse case scenario, they'd toss me out of the wizarding world."

"Well, normally, they would have." Dumbledore stopped for a moment, then gave Jesse an intense look. "But these are dangerous times, Jesse. And I have use of you at Hogwarts."

Jesse suddenly looked up. "Whoa...use for me. What do you mean?"

"I will not lie to you, young McCade. I think you are one of those dangerous children out there who may become a potential threat to our world. However, I also believe that you are good and will do the right thing."

"Ah-ha," Jesse said. "So there is something you want me to do."

"Yes...I want you to attend Hogwarts."

"And...?"

"And nothing, Jesse. That is all I desire from you."

"And what's to keep me from walking away right now and just saying the hell with this?"

Dumbledore smiled at him again. "Because you are loyal to your friends, Jesse," he said as he opened another door and motioned for Jesse to enter the room. "Even those that aren't human."

Jesse entered the room, then suddenly stopped in his tracks. It was an empty room, except for one object in the middle of it...it appeared to be a portable kennel. As he approached the cage, he saw a calico kitten push its face against the door and meow at him.

"Joscoe!" Jesse said as he recognized his cat. He then looked over at Dumbledore. "How did you catch him?"

Dumbledore shrugged. "Headmistress Turane of the Marneons Academy informed me of your cat's unique ability and how you two were practically inseparable. I knew that when you were brought here, your familiar would try to locate you and free you. However there are ways to stop powerful enchantments like that of a fold-map."

"Okay, so what's the deal?"

"It's simple. Give me your word that you will attend Hogwarts this next year and I will let you have your familiar back. If not...well, there are some members in the Ministry who would like to study him."

Jesse suddenly shot the old man a threatening look. "No way. I'm not letting the Ministry carve him up."

"Then we have a deal," Dumbledore said as he extended his hand.

Jesse glanced back at Joscoe and then back to Dumbledore. After a few seconds, he reached out and shook Dumbledore's hand. "Yeah."

Dumbledore nodded then laughed as he snapped his fingers and the small kennel vanished, leaving the kitten standing in the middle of the empty room. "Very well, then. I shall see you at Hogwarts." Then, without another word, he turned and left.

Jesse walked over and picked up Joscoe who crawled up on his shoulder. "Thanks a lot Jos, you just cost me my freedom."

The cat growled softly at him.

"Yeah," said Jesse as he scratched the kitten behind the ears, "take us home, bud. We might as well enjoy the summer."

Then he and his cat disappeared in a flash of light.


Author notes: Just so you know, the prologue and the first four chapters are meant to introduce Jesse to the readers and the other characters in this fic. Around chap 5...you'll this fic start to expand and center around other characters as well. If you're a Draco fan, you may or may not like what's going to happen, but I'll let you decide on that. However, I will assure you: There will not be a "redeemed!Draco" in this fic.