A Tale Of Absolutely No Plot Whatsoever

Right, sorry for overly short previous chapter. I hope I can make this one longer. *nods* I have 'paperback writer' stuck in my head right now... And I don't know why.
Eesh, there's been SIX chapters of this so far and still hardly anything has happened. Nothing sane, anyway. Ah well.
Now, where were we? Ah yes, they'd just started writing angry letters to the Dark Lord...

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Scribbley scribbley, write write, write write, that kind of thing. Oh yes. At length, Ron stops and clears his throat. The others look towards him, startled that Ron managed to finish first.

Ron: Can I read mine out?

Hermione: Go on then.

Ron: 'Dear You-Know-Who -- '

Harry: You can't write a letter to Lord Voldemort --

Ron: Eep!

Harry: [rolls his eyes] -- and call him 'You-Know-Who'!

Ron: What about 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named'?

Harry: Put Dark Lord if you can't write Voldemort.

Ron: Eep!

Harry sighs despairingly.

Ron: Ok, OK, I'll WRITE it. But can I say 'You-Know-Who' when I read it?

Harry: Yes, yes, alright.

Draco: [looks up suddenly] PIZZA!

Everyone else looks at Draco quizzically.

Draco: Sorry. I thought I could smell pizza.

Ron: Right.

Hermione: You know, I can smell pizza too.

Draco: See??

Author: [from Autharium] Sorry! Pizza is being cooked in the realm of Autharium-osity.

Draco: Oh, so YOU get pizza.

Author: Yes.

Draco: That's not fair! I want pizza!

Ron: Me too!

Author: OK, OK!

Pizza appears in the middle of the room. There is a pause while all stare in awe at the pizza, and then they rush towards it.

Ron: Yay! Pizza!

Draco: Eff, Wheefwi -

Everybody looks at Draco as though he has shouted 'EMU!' and begun to dance the can-can very, very slowly. Draco glares at them and swallows his mouthful of pizza.

Draco: Bugger.

Ron: *blink blink*

Draco: Note to self: Do not attempt to make sarcastic remarks while eating pizza.

Hermione: WHILST eating pizza.

Harry: I've just realized I haven't spoken for at least twenty lines.

Draco: It was doing us so much good, Potter; why couldn't you have kept it up?

Harry: Fneh.

Ron: 'Fneh'?

Harry: I'm expressing irritation.

Draco: Good.

Ron: Hm. Fneh.

Hermione: 'Fneh' is not a word.

Harry: It is now.

Hermione: Just you using it doesn't make it a word!

Harry: It's a word if I want it to be.

Hermione: No it's not!! Is it in the dictionary? No! Would it work if it was put through a computer spellcheck? NO!

Harry: You know Hermione won't work on a spellcheck either?

Hermione: ... [glares at Harry]

Harry: Hah.

Draco: This is getting rather silly now.

Author: [from Autharium] Only JUST? I can't be doing this properly if it's ONLY JUST started to get RATHER silly!

Everybody ignores the Author.

Harry: I suppose we should get back to writing angry letters to Lord Volde -

Ron draws his breath for an 'eep!'.

Harry: I mean, you-know-who.

Ron breathes out.

Hermione: [glances at Ron] Hee hee!

Ron: Anyway, I finished my letter and I was going to read it out at the BEGINNING of this chapter! It's the end now and I haven't got further than 'dear You-Know-Who'!!

Hermione: Ah, bless. [pats Ron on the head]