Shiny and New: An Organic Experience

'Voices... I hear you... ugh. I'm getting up... I'm getting UP!' "I'm up! I'm up, ok..." he mumbled, sitting up. Finding himself surrounded by the Weasley twins and Sirius Black and completely naked, he reddened slightly.

"Severus? Are you feeling alright? Perhaps you should get... dressed?"

"Maybe if you'd all leav-" he began to snap, but stopped abruptly. "Gonna DRESS you up in my love.... All over, all over..."

The twins snickered, but were still slightly afraid, as the professor began shaking his still-nude hips again. Sirius had his head in his hands laughing as Severus began to sound more and more like Madonna herself.

"I've got style, that's what all the girls say..." he sang, pulling on his spiffy pink boxers, as it was, indeed, a particularly spiffy day. He ran his hands over his fabulous silk-covered pelvis. "Feel the silky touch of my caresses. They will keep you looking so brand new..."

"Professor, erm..." Fred patted Severus' back awkwardly. "It'll be oooooook..."

Sirius went to say something to Severus, but before the words could get out of his mouth, he shook his head and busted out laughing.

Severus' eyes darkened (and not with passion, no indeed.) and he stomped over to Sirius. Instead of what he was intending to say, which was something along the lines of "die Black, die and burn in hell," he found himself once again overcome with the urge to sing. "Satin sheets and luxuries so fine. All my suits are custom made in London!"

The Weasley twins blinked stupidly wondering absentmindedly if Professor Snape had ever worn a suit. Still snickering slightly, the twins left the room with more blackmail than they had hoped to find. The spiffy towel had been quite enough, and the nudity and song were just added extras.Â

They couldn't wait to tell the rest of the Gryffindors. If only they had had a camera.

Back in Severus' room, Sirius was enjoying the show. Severus had picked up the spiffy towel and was swinging over his head. "Gonna dress you up in my love. All over, all over..." he moved towards Sirius and swung the towel around Sirius' neck. Sirius' eyes widened and he backed up, shaking his head.

"No... NO! SEVERUS SNAPE, DO NOT TOUCH ME THERE!"

Sirius ducked out from underneath the towel and went and cowered in the corner. Who though the curse made you act like Madonna?

Severus shrugged and did something that would have looked a bit like the harlem shake if he'd been at a muggle club, but resembled something like a grand mal seizure to Sirius.

He looked in the mirror, running his hands through his hair, shivering in bliss as a few strands hit his lips, and continued his dance. "Let me cover you with velvet kisses. I'll create a look that's made for you."

He nearly skipped over to Sirius, after pulling himself from the mirror, and dragged him up out of the corner. He wrapped a hand around the other man's neck and moved very, very close to him.

Sirius cringed, horrified. He'd hoped never to get that close to "Sevvie junior," but as it was currently resting against his thigh, he struggled to get away from Severus' iron grip.

No luck. "Gonna dress you up in my love... all over your body, all over your body. Gonna dress you up in my love..."

Sirius did the only thing he could think of. Grasping his wand, he pointed it at his throat. "Sonorous," he muttered. His voice became amplified and still, he yelled as loud as he could. "DUMBLEDORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"From your head down to your to-oo-oes..."