Siofra and Company Reloaded

"Here and now, will we ever be again? 'Cause I have found, all that shimmers in this world is sure to fade...away...again..."

If only he would stop singing. Then Siofra could concentrate on writing this fic. A lovely R/Hr with a surprising twist at the end, courtesy of Kiara's computer.

But he was singing. And playing that infernal guitar. Katy, the wonderful girl, was keeping him occupied quite nicely. The only thing was that Siofra hadn't asked her to distract him yet. She'd done it all on her own.

Turning around in her seat, Siofra reflected that she didn't blame the girl, if she was going to be honest with herself.

That stupid guitar is making me think crazy things, Siofra thought desperately. Stupid guitar, she added to herself for the hundredth time.

"That was great," Katy sighed, as Rob played the last few notes.

"What did you say your name was again?" Rob asked.

"Katy," she said promptly. "But you can call me whatever you like."

Siofra rolled her eyes and turned back to the computer, resolutely continuing her fic.

"I had a girlfriend called Kat once," Rob told her. Katy looked highly disgruntled. Not that Siofra turned around and looked, or anything.

"Do you have a girlfriend now?" Katy asked. Siofra held back a giggle. So obvious, dear Katy was.

"No," Rob said, rather more loudly than he had to, as if he wanted Siofra to hear.

Siofra would like to inform the author to stop that. Rob does not fancy her in the slightest, and the author would do well to remember that and stop using her omnipotence for the side of evil. Stupid author.

Stupid guitar.

"Siofra," Rob said. "How's your guitar allergy?" He said this in an amused tone, as if he thought she was making it up. Which she was, but that's beside the point.

"It's getting more terrible with every song," Siofra replied with a straight face. "I'm about to completely lose my head and do something impulsive."

"Like run around empty theatres, for instance?" Kiara inquired from her seat on the couch, book in hand.

"Something like that," Siofra said with a reminiscent smile.

"Wait, I think I missed this one," Rob said. "Siofra, have you been doing funny things and not telling me?"

"Maybe a little bit," Siofra said. "We went to see a romantic comedy before school let out. Ya know, we're home schooled and stuff. Kiara and I were the only two people in the theatre."

"So you behaved like an idiot, of course," Katy said.

"Well, there was all those steps to race up and down," Siofra replied with a shrug. "We couldn't help ourselves. I won that race, Kiara."

"You cheated," Kiara replied, in a fine imitation of William Turner.

"Pirate," Siofra said, as if it should be obvious. Captain Jack to a tee.

"You did cheat," Kiara said in her normal voice.

"You simply failed to explain the rules properly," Siofra informed her.

"Cheater," Kiara said dismissively, returning to her book.

"We also stood up in the top seats and made shadow puppets with the projector," Siofra said. "And I patted the hot German guy on the head."

"Of course you did," Kiara said with a sigh. "You're boy crazy."

"Am not," Siofra replied, twirling around and around in her desk chair, bored out of her mind.

"You're making me dizzy," Remus said wryly.

"I'm making me dizzy, too," Siofra replied, not pausing in her spinning at all.

"Are you going to finish that tonight?" Kiara inquired.

"Probably," Siofra said, trying to shrug and spin at the same time and falling out of her chair. She does not multitask very well.

"What are you writing, anyway?" Hermione asked, walking over to the computer to look.

"No!" Siofra yelled, jumping off the ground. "Don't read that."

Hermione stared in shock at the words on the screen. "I do not! How can you write this drivel?!" She took a deep, steadying breath, then looked over at Ron. Then back at the screen. Then back at Ron, again.

"Er..." Siofra said, scuffing her sneakers across the carpet. "Sorry?"

"Do you mind if I...?" Hermione said, gesturing to the screen.

"What?" Siofra said, staring at Hermione in shock.

"I want to read it," Hermione explained.

"You...want...it's not finished, yet," Siofra said. "But you can read another one."

"Show me," Hermione said, sitting in the desk chair. She didn't spin in the slightest.

Siofra typed in the web address that took Hermione to her fics, and clicked on a missing scene story from third year, hoping that it wouldn't be so romantic as to elicit an unfavorable response from everyone's favorite bushy haired prefect.

"There you go," Siofra said, handing over the mouse and backing away from the monitor.

"Is she reading..." Katy asked. Siofra nodded.

"Diagon Alley?" Katy asked again.

"Yup," Siofra said. "And the sequel, and the sequel to that...and the sequel to that."

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "That's a lot of sequels."

"Yes, it is," Siofra agreed. "And I know I'm right. Don't deny it, Hermione."

"I haven't gotten to the bad parts yet," Hermione said dismissively, not taking her eyes off the screen. "If I feel the need to hex you into oblivion later, I'll let you know."

"Okay, fair enough," Siofra said with a shrug.

"I heard that you were living well, but you don't look like you're living to me. With your focuses changing, your gaze is transfixed on a point that I can't often see."

"Stop singing, for Godric's sake," Siofra shot at Rob, who simply winked at her and continued singing another of Siofra's favorite songs. Dang him.

Siofra plopped into the seat beside Kiara, sighing loudly.

"The jealousy's eating you up, isn't it?" Kiara said quietly, not looking up from her book.

"No," Siofra denied. "Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Wishful thinking," Kiara said, turning a page.

"I do not even have a cousin Jean," Hermione said exasperatedly.

"Now you do," Siofra said.

Hermione huffed and went back to the fic.

"Play Sunburn," Con yelled from the kitchen, where he was deep in conversation with Neil. Rob began to play, grinning slightly as he did so. Apparently he was taking all requests, aside from Siofra's requests that he be quiet.

"I'm going down to the 7-11," Siofra said on a sigh. "Coming, Kiara?"

"Why?"

"Because I need to get out of this house," Siofra groaned. "It's too quiet."

"There's music," Kiara pointed out, with a glance in Rob's direction.

"Exactly the problem," Siofra said. "He's playing and no one is talking."

"We're going to the 7-11," Kiara said loudly.

Alex jumped up from his seat on the carpet. "I'm coming with you."

"Me, too," Ria said, getting up and pulling Draco after her. "Draco's coming, too."

"Let's make it a party," Siofra said dully.

"Stop it," Kiara said under her breath.

"Stop what?" Siofra asked.

"You're letting him get to you," Kiara said. "As much as I love to see that, it's not very...you. You're usually more amusing than this."

"I'm coming," Drew said, following the crowd out of the door. Siofra regained some of her color, and began to grin slyly at Kiara.

"He can't be out of your presence for too long, can he?" she asked wickedly.

"There, now, that's better," Kiara said. "Teasing me about Drew is perfectly normal."

"We're coming," Harry said, running out of the house with Ron on his heels.

"We're going to get arrested," Siofra predicted ominously. "Some cops are going to drive by and think we're a gang. Where's Katy?"

"She said she was staying with Ron," Ria said, then shook her head. "Rob. Sorry."

"Of course she is," Siofra said with a smile. "A great job she's doing, too, of keeping him away from Deirdre's corrupting influence."

"What about my corrupting influence?" Deirdre asked, poking Siofra in the sides.

"You have a corrupting influence, didn't you know?" Siofra asked in mock surprise. "It's name is Vladimir."

"I thought that was the name of the Russian guy that lives in your pocket," Kiara said.

"Him, too," Siofra said. She pulled the pocket of her jeans out and looked inside. "You okay in there, Vlad my man?"

"Does she normally talk to her clothing?" Harry asked, eyeing Siofra with apprehension.

"I'm not talking to my clothing," Siofra said haughtily. "And don't insult Vladimir, he gets offended easily."

Harry raised his eyebrows and said nothing.

"She's out of her tree," Ron muttered. "Completely and totally out of it."

Siofra began to hum as she walked down the sidewalk in the lead of the group. The skip was back in her step as she smiled.

"I thought you wanted to be away from that music," Kiara said.

Siofra abruptly realized that she'd been humming As Lovers Go. She stopped quickly. Stupid guitar. Stupid Deirdre.

"Who wants ice cream?" she said, changing the subject quite obviously and not caring a whit.

"I dunno," Ron said sardonically. "Why don't you ask Vladimir."

Siofra stared at Ron. "Vladimir doesn't like you," she informed him.

Ron rolled his eyes. "You're crazy."

"Sanity is the root of all that is sane," Siofra said dreamily, calling out her inner Luna Lovegood. Ron just looked at her funny. She was used to it, however, and continued walking.

They all ran into the 7-11 and grabbed ice cream out of the freezer. Siofra looked around at the various people and then at the wrinkled ten dollar bill in her hand.

"Er...how am I going to pay for all of this?" she asked. Before her eyes, the ten morphed into a fifty dollar bill. "Thanks," she said, looking up at the sky. Then she grinned at everyone else and gestured towards the checkout counter.

On the way home from 7-11, Siofra's steps got heavier and heavier as they neared Kiara's house. She could hear the faint guitar music coming from the living room, now playing Someday by Nickelback.

"I am going to beat him with my shoe," Siofra muttered.

"It's not his fault," Kiara protested. "He doesn't know about your weird guitar thing."

"What's her weird guitar thing?" Deirdre asked interestedly.

"Nothing," Siofra said pointedly, glaring at Kiara. With that, Siofra trooped into the house, squaring her shoulders to face her own personal hell. It is a sad, sad world when Harry Potter look-a-likes with guitars are considered hell.

But, instead of facing that hell, she was faced with the righteous fury of Hermione Granger.

"I do not, he does not, we did not," Hermione said succinctly, pointing to the computer screen, which now showed what Siofra recognized as the end of her fic, The Hospital Wing.

"But you wish you had," Siofra said in a sing-song voice. But Hermione wasn't listening, as Ron had just walked into the room and was frowning at the computer screen, reading the very tail end of the fic.

"No, Ron!" Hermione cried, rushing over and clicking the exit button. "Don't read that."

"Why not?" Ron asked indignantly, crossing his arms.

"Because it's unhealthy, silly, fanciful slander," Hermione said bitterly, glaring at Siofra.

Siofra, however, was unfazed. There might not be that many sure things in the world, but the one thing she had absolute faith in was the Good Ship. Therefore, she was as immune to Hermione's protests as she was to people who insisted on believing in evolution.

"I'm of half a mind to let Ron read a fic or two," Siofra said thoughtfully.

"Not if they're all as idiotic as that mess was," Hermione seethed.

"Maybe a good Draco/Ginny would freak him out sufficiently that he'd never want to read fanfiction again," Siofra mused.

"What?" Ron, Draco and Ginny asked at the same time.

"Or even a moderately excellent Harry/Ginny," Katy suggested from her seat at Rob's side. Siofra idly wondered if wild horses could drag Katy away from him, and came to the conclusion that Kiara's parents wouldn't like animals that big in their house, anyway.

And then she got distracted, as in her musings her gaze had traveled from Katy to the person seated next to her. That person who was innocently sitting there, his guitar across his knees and his left hand resting on the fret board as he watched the exchange with mild interest, unaware of the effect that damn guitar was having on her.

Stupid guitar.

Shaking herself, Siofra turned back to the conversation, which had taken a new turn whilst she'd been distracted.

"I still say that Aragorn is much cooler than Legolas," Deirdre was saying to Kiara.

Kiara gasped. "How could you even think that? Legolas is the best! He's all...tall and elvish and cute."

"You just love him because of Orlando Bloom," Siofra accused.

"Er...yes," Kiara said. "That'd be about right."

"Legolas is my hero," Alex put in. "My friends and I are always trying to do all those crazy tricks he does. We try to jump on my uncle's horses like he does, with no hands and all, and I made a bow and arrow that I shot at that old piece of chain mail I made."

Kiara was eyeing Alex mistily, suddenly realizing what Siofra had meant when she'd warned her about dear cousin Alex. "He's scum," Siofra had said, in a voice as if predicting the Apocalypse. "But he's charming, funny, interesting scum, so you'd fancy him anyway."

Having known her friend for twelve years, and being a master people reader, Siofra immediately divined Kiara's thoughts.

"Ki-a-ra," she said warningly. That was all she needed to say. Kiara could divine her thoughts almost as well as she could divine Kiara's. Being so, Kiara shook herself and looked anywhere but at Alex. Her gaze conveniently came to rest on Drew, which made Siofra smirk in a knowing manner.

Kiara turned instead to Siofra and glared at her. Siofra promptly wiped the smirk off her face, achieving a serenely blank expression and staring at the ceiling. Kiara nodded her head quickly and commenced looking at Neil. That was safe.

They had these wordless exchanges quite often, and most of the time no one else noticed. Even if they did, it took someone who knew both the girls well (and, after Siofra and Company and these three chapters of the sequel, you readers know them well) to figure out what they meant.

Then the guitar began again.

Stupid guitar.

"I love your pants around your feet, I love the dirt that's on your knees, I love the way you still say please while you're looking up at me, you're like my favorite damn disease..."

"WHOA! TIME OUT!"

Everyone looked up in exasperation.

"This," the author's voice informed them crisply, "is still a PG fic. None of that song."

"I used to love that song," Siofra sighed. "Then I listened to the words."

"Nasty," the author's voice agreed. "Just wrong. Okay, on with the fic. How about some more Dashboard Confessional?"

"No," Siofra groaned. She could have sworn she heard evil chuckling as Rob launched into another song.

"Carry this picture for luck, kept in a locket, tucked in your collar close to your chest. Make it a secret, shown to the closest friends..."

"I wish you'd make your ability to play the guitar a secret," Siofra muttered. She then sat down in the desk chair, typed in www.astronomytower.org, and tried to drown out the music with fanfiction.

"Follow me down past the big docks, where they tether the boats the rich men revere as so important, they hire our fathers to steer..."

Oh, look, some R/Hr...no, that stuff sucks...on to the next one...D/G, interesting...whoa, they did what? I think not...Slash...Slash...Femmeslash...Snape and whom? Yuck...Moony could do so much better than her...Sirius! I love you, Sirius!...Oh, sorry mate, I don't love you with Moony...Mmm, yummy, Moony...

"You color the coast with your smile, it's the most genuine thing I've ever seen. I was so lost, but now...I believe..."

It was no use. She was losing it. The sound of his voice and the infernal racket of that guitar were making her insane. Completely loony. They should just check her into the nuthouse, she was trying way too hard to present a façade of sanity. It wasn't working, anyway.

Hello, Neville's mum and dad, this is Siofra Mahoney. She'll be here for a while.

"But now...I believe..."

"That was great, Rob," Katy said. "Sing something else, please."

"No," Siofra groaned. This, she would like to say, is too cruel. Please, dear author, if you love Siofra, don't let Rob sing anymore.

"Nah, I'm all out of songs," Rob said with a shrug, returning his guitar to it's case.

Siofra would like to offer up a brief but heartfelt thank-you. The author would like to ask if she's sufficiently sorry for the "off your onion" comment. Siofra would like to answer in the affirmative, and promise never again to imply mean things about the author's sanity.

Suddenly, Rob's cell phone rang. "Hello?" he said, as he used his free hand to close the clasps of his guitar case. "Nothing much, what's up with you?...Really?...I dunno if I can, what time is it?...Okay, that's cool...I'll meet you in fifteen...Bye."

He hung up and looked at Deirdre. "As much fun as this has been, I've got to go. A few of my friends are going to catch a flick and they want me to go with them."

"We don't mind," Siofra said hastily and rather enthusiastically. "Go right ahead."

"I'll see you guys later," Rob said, waving as he took himself and his wonderful, awful guitar right out the door.

"He left," Katy said sadly. "Farewell, my love. I'll see you again in my next life." She heaved a great, gusty sigh and sank into the couch cushions.

"Sorry, Katy," Siofra said, shrugging and not managing to hide her grin. "When people have to go, they have to go."

"Don't think I'm stupid," Katy shot. "You made some deal with the author that got him to leave, didn't you?"

"Maybe a little bit," Siofra admitted.

"How could you?" Katy cried dramatically. "I mean, now that you've taken away my love interest, what do I have?"

"Moony?" Siofra suggested. Katy immediately perked up, getting over the love of her life in record time.

"Good enough for me," she said enthusiastically. "Say, Remus, you wouldn't happen to know how to play the guitar, would you?"

Tonks glared at Katy, and scooted closer to Remus. "Hands off. He's way too old for you."

"Oh, thanks, Tonks," Remus said sarcastically.

"Just trying to protect you from these hormonal teenage girls, Remus," Tonks said, patting him on the head while she continued to glare at Katy.

"Over-protective bint," Katy said scathingly. "Remus is not too old for me. I happen to be madly in love with him."

"Yes, you and half the fandom," Siofra put in amusedly. "Including myself," she added. "Moony, have you realized how sexy you are? In that scruffy, Ron Weasley-esque sort of way."

Both Remus and Ron turned red.

"I still can't believe you think Weasel is hot," Draco said in a disbelieving tone.

"How can I not think he's hot?" Siofra asked, jumping up and running over to Ron. She took his face between her hands and pointed him in Draco's direction. "Would you look at that face?"

Hermione, as Siofra had hoped, began to get rather hot around the collar at this. "Hands off him, Siofra," she snapped. "You're making him uncomfortable."

"Making you uncomfortable, rather," Siofra said dryly, obediently releasing Ron and returning to her chair in front of the computer.

The conversation turned to other things, but there was a seriously evil aura coming from some. Tonks and Katy continued to glare at each other, and Siofra resigned herself to the inevitable.

The mother of all fights had started. It was going to be ugly, it was going to be dirty, it was going to be fierce.

But the battle for Remus Lupin was on.

Really, because there has to be some plot to this crazy fic.