Rating:
15
House:
Riddikulus
Ships:
Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Lucius Malfoy/Severus Snape
Characters:
Draco Malfoy Albus Dumbledore Harry Potter
Genres:
Humor Slash
Era:
The Harry Potter at Hogwarts Years
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
Stats:
Published: 10/19/2007
Updated: 10/15/2008
Words: 26,418
Chapters: 22
Hits: 11,944

The Hogwarts Poets' Society

Sara Myles

Story Summary:
Dumbledore forms a Poets' society and invites a strange array of people, but nobody knows why! And then he gets a twinkle in his eye that can only mean one thing: A Plan of Imminent Doom! Oh no! *slash*

Chapter 06 - Snape Explains

Posted:
12/23/2007
Hits:
669
Author's Note:
So, again, this chapter didn't turn out how I planned it. That's it! I'm done planning this stupid fic! Argh!


"What happened to Harry?" snarled Hermione, holding her wand at Snape, who looked rather bored.

"I can't tell you," said Snape. He was idly twirling his wand between his fingers and looking at the ceiling, hoping that he wouldn't betray the Plan of Imminent Doom.

"You were at the meeting," Hermione replied, her wand still in a threatening position. "You know what happened to him. Tell me!" Some sparks shot out of her wand at the last sentence. Snape paid no attention.

"I already told you, I can't tell you where he is, and I don't care," said Snape. He wondered briefly if Hermione and Ron would help him thwart Dumbledore's Plan of Imminent Doom. He decided against telling them. It wouldn't do, involving the lousy Gryffindors. Besides, it was fun making them suffer.

"Aw, come off it, Hermione. He already said he doesn't know where Harry is. Come on, let's go. We can ask McGonagall next," Ron said, eager to leave the dingy dungeons and get away from Snape. This nonchalant, bored expression was making him nervous.

"He said he couldn't tell us. That doesn't mean he doesn't know, Ron. He's avoiding the question," she said. Snape realized that she had found the fatal flaw in his plan. He had sworn to himself that he wouldn't lie to them. They were apt to catch him in a lie, which would be unfortunate. He didn't want to help them, but he refused to put himself in any danger, either. That was the Slytherin thing to do. If either Weasley or Granger caught him in a lie, they would find a way to get back at him, he was sure of it.

"I already said I can't tell you." asked Snape coolly. "I'm not telling you where the stupid Potter boy is. You'll laugh at me. What more do you want from me?"

"Uh, well, it'd be nice to pass Potions, actually," said Ron hopefully.

"Sorry, Weasley, I don't do favors, especially to numbskulls like you." He looked at Ron Weasley disdainfully. The boy was no genius, which was obvious. And by the looks of it, he had the emotional range of a teaspoon.

Ron didn't feel the need to say anything. He stared at the ground again, happy to get lost in thought. You can't really have expected Snape to up your grade in Potions, he thought to himself.. But Snape had asked what they wanted from him. Why were they down in these dungeons, anyway? It was Sunday, wasn't it? Gee, Hermione really looked angry. Why was she angry again? Hm, strange, can't remember. Maybe I should leave the dungeons. It smells funny down here. Maybe I should go find Harry to play some chess. Yeah, that sounds good. Chess is fun. Remember that giant chess board? Of course I remember that giant chessboard. I'm you, you idiot! Anyway, yeah, let's go find Harry. Where is Harry, anyway? I don't know. Remember that time Harry flew that hippogriff? That was cool. Why are we down in the dungeons again? Gee, I could really go for some coffee. Coffee is good. Coffee is the same color as Hermione's hair, when it's in the right light. Hermione has funny hair! Remember the Yule Ball? She had nice hair then. Except she went to the Ball with Krum, didn't she? I hate Krum! Krum rhymes with bum. Krum smells like a bum. Hah, bum.

At this point Ron laughed out loud, which was unfortunate, because Snape had just told Hermione that Dumbledore had a Plan of Imminent Doom! She had spent a good five minutes convincing Snape that they would not laugh at him. Hermione kicked Ron, and it hurt. A lot.

"Fine, I won't tell you," Snape snapped.

"That's not my fault!" Hermione said. "He's an idiot!"

"Ah, so you've finally picked up this piece of obscure knowledge, have you?" Snape asked, the sarcasm dripping from his voice. Ron was reeling rather betrayed, seeing as he had never been insulted by both Hermione and Snape at the same time. Usually, her hatred for Snape made Hermione defend him. Hermione, meanwhile, was scowling because Snape thought he was being funny.

"Yeah, well, nobody ever said that I didn't know that before," said Hermione huffily.

"Love is blind," Snape said silkily.

Ron was lost in thought again. Hermione, however, sputtered indignantly.

"I am not in love with him!" she said, a little too loudly and too forcefully to be taken seriously.

"Be that as it may, Ms. Granger, I refuse to tell you anything with that blithering idiot in the nearby vicinity."

"Fine!" Hermione snapped, still blushing furiously. "Ron, go away." She kicked him again. It hurt. A lot.

"What?" said Ron stupidly.

"Go away!" Hermione repeated. "Now!"

"But, I--" he said, very confused and rather hurt. The angry look on Hermione's face was enough to send him out of the room, his tail between his legs. Of course, he didn't have a tail, so it obviously was not literally between his legs, but that is just a way of saying that he was feeling rather hurt and dejected by the whole situation that he did not understand due to his lack of a decent attention span.

"Now, will you tell me about this Plan of -what was it?--Intermittent Gloom?" Hermione asked, feeling rather exasperated at the idiocy of the male species.

"Plan of Imminent Doom!" shouted Snape. "Get it right!"

"Yes, yes, a Plan of Imminent Doom," said Hermione. "Now, tell me about it."

"Dumbledore was humming," said Snape, as though this explained everything.

"Harry is missing because Dumbledore was humming," said Hermione, feeling as though she had missed something. She did not know that when Dumbledore hums, it is a bad omen.

"Yes," said Snape. There were several moments of awkward silence while Hermione waited for Snape to elaborate on this obscure statement.

"I'm not sure I understand," said Hermione. "Can you explain more?"

"You wouldn't understand, would you?" said Snape unhappily. "Do I really have to explain?"

"Oh, no," said Hermione sarcastically. "I'll just follow the yellow brick road to Harry."

"Fine," said Snape. "But don't say I didn't warn you!" And he proceeded to give every little detail that he knew about Dumbledore and the Plan of Imminent Doom.

"You're telling me that Harry is trapped in a closet with Draco Malfoy!" Hermione shrieked.

"Yes."

"And we can't get him out?"

"No."

"Oh, Merlin's pants!" Hermione yelled, before jumping out of her chair and sprinting to the library. When in doubt, consult the library.