Solstice

Chapter 34 - falling out

Harry stopped abruptly when he noticed Draco hugging his guardian. Draco had pulled back already when he realized that Snape's attention had suddenly become focused on something behind him. He turned and saw Harry.

"Er, sorry, I'll come back," Harry apologized.

"No, it's OK, Potter; he's all yours. I'm going to get some breakfast," Draco responded, still smiling with relief that Snape was back.

Harry gave him a brief smile and then turned his attention to Snape. "Are you all right?"

"Yes; just a run in with the Cruciatus."

Harry nodded. "I'm glad - I mean, that you're OK."

Snape suppressed the grin that almost surfaced over Harry's discomfort.

"You wanted to make sure that I made it back?" Snape inquired, wondering why Harry had come down.

The green eyes regarded him with a troubled expression. "I came to say that you were right."

Snape raised a dark eyebrow. "About?" If Harry was going to apologize, he wasn't going to let him off easily.

"Jeopardizing the Order and..."

"And?"

"Not thinking." The last two words were barely above a whisper.

Snape knew that apologizing wasn't something Harry enjoyed doing, so he wanted to make sure that the teenager was sincere. One look into his guilt-laden eyes confirmed that he was.

Snape sat back on the edge of the bed. "Thank you for finally acknowledging that. I am curious about what made you come to that realization now?"

Harry shifted uncomfortably. "I know you were right about that, but when you insulted my father and Sirius..."

"I see. So even when I apologized you stayed angry?"

Harry sat down on the bed across from him. "Yes. I hate it when you bring them up. I mean, he was my dad. I never got to know him, but if I had, I know I would have loved him, and Sirius was the closest thing to a dad I have ever had and they're both dead." His voice grew soft.

The realization hit Snape then that what Harry wasn't saying was how much his teacher's words had hurt him. He sighed, feeling for the first time the gut-wrenching pain that he had caused the boy by continually insulting two people he would never again have in his life.

"I am sorry, Harry."

The green eyes lifted to look at him intently. Then a soft smile played on his lips. "I kept thinking back to when you let Draco and me see your memories so we could better understand you and I realized that you and Draco are really alike in many ways. You both use words to fight with when you're angry."

Snape nodded, looking uncomfortable. "I'm an adult and I should know better, but sometimes I just lash out without thinking."

Harry nodded in understanding. "I guess I get angry and don't apologize when I should."

Snape snorted softly, smiling a little.

"I was worried that something would happen to you."

"I'm fine. You are the one that has to be careful. The Dark Lord is determined to kill you with whatever means he has at his disposal. That means no leaving school grounds and never going anywhere outside alone."

I haven't been able to do that since the Death Eater attack in Hogsmeade anyway," Harry responded, disgruntled.

"Just be careful; the Dark Lord is a vicious, and determined man."

"Why did he curse you?"

"He was annoyed that I hadn't informed him about custody of Draco."

"Lucius must have told him."

"Lucius got off worse than I. He deserved that and more after what he did to Draco, both physically and emotionally."

Harry nodded. "I, er, had a talk with Professor Lupin and he made me realize how much I wanted you to be OK. So I just wanted to say thanks for everything you've done for me, like taking me to the veil and helping me learn Occlumency."

Snape's eyes widened. He was surprised that the werewolf was being so fair. He swallowed a bit guiltily, thinking about how much he had resented Dumbledore for once again giving him the Defense of the Dark Arts job albeit splitting the duties with Tonks this time. Tonks was too inexperienced to have a role of such prestige, although he had to admit that she had her wits about her and she wasn't hard to look at...

"Professor Snape?" Harry's voice startled him. He'd momentarily forgotten that his student was there.

"Thank you for saying that and you are welcome. I hope Tonks and I can add 'Apparating without splinching' to your list of skills soon."

Harry flushed slightly pink; he hated being reminded of splinching himself. He gave Snape wry grin and nodded. "So we're OK again?" he asked hesitantly.

Snape felt awkward for a moment, then got up and put his hand on Harry's shoulder. "Yes."

A huge smile broke out on Harry's face as he headed to the door. When he opened it Tonks popped her head in and stared at Snape. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Much improved."

She smiled at him. "See you at breakfast."

He nodded. As soon as she was gone Snape couldn't suppress the smile that crept onto his face. It was good to be back at Hogwarts.

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Breakfast was a joyous occasion that morning. All the professors were relieved that Snape was back amongst them. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he watched Snape glance very furtively at Tonks every so often when he thought no one was looking.

The week flew by with classes and Quidditch practices. The tormenting between Gryffindor and Slytherin grew until both rivalries were ready to burst by Saturday morning.

What would have been Sirius' birthday turned out to be a cool day. The morning started with a light drizzle falling on the ground.

As they walked out onto the pitch, Harry glanced over at the Slytherin team. Draco looked arrogant. Shoulders straight, he looked back with a confident smirk on his face, although he looked rather pale, more so than usual. For a moment Harry felt as if the last four months hadn't even happened. Draco was back to his Slytherin self.

Madam Hooch blew the whistle and a wave of excitement washed over Harry. He loved flying. Zabini got through to the Gryffindor goal post and, much to the Gryffindor's horror, he scored, giving Slytherin the lead. Harry glanced over to Ron, who looked angry with himself for having missed. It was hard to see anything through the wet sheet of drizzle.

Harry narrowly missed being hit by a Bludger as he scoured the area. Gryffindor scored next, evening up the score. The yells and screams of encouragement that reached him through the wind buoying his determination to catch the Snitch. Suddenly another Gryffindor goal was scored. Harry yelled out in joy when he realized Ginny had been the one to score.

At that moment Harry spotted a flash of gold over by the goal post. He raced for it with Draco close on his heels looking very determined. Draco leaned over and tried to unseat Harry from his broom. Harry elbowed him hard in return, which resulted in the Slytherin temporarily backing off.

Harry, heart racing, saw the Snitch hovering close to the wet grass. He spun his broom around and dived for it. In the same instant Draco spotted it and also went into a dive. The Snitch suddenly took off again and Harry swerved sharply, his arm stretched out to grasp it. He hit something hard and for a moment, blinded by the rain, he thought he had hit a Bludger. Instead, he realized it was another player, the flash of green revealing a Slytherin. He twisted and with a surge of joy he clasped the Snitch. The roar that went up around him was deafening.

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He cried out from the shattering pain in his leg. He closed his eyes, trying to get the agony under control. The breath caught in his throat.

"Easy, Malfoy; help's on the way." Harry said softly. A moment after having caught the Snitch he had realized it was Malfoy that he had accidentally hit. The blond lay on the ground face down, his face twisted in agony.

"You bastard; you did this to me. I HATE YOU!" Draco screamed at Harry.

"Look. I'm sorry; I didn't bump you on purpose," Harry apologized softly.

Draco took another shuddering breath. "Get away from me."

"Draco, calm down. Where does it hurt?" Snape asked gently, feeling for broken bones.

Biting his lip, he moaned. "Everywhere, but especially my leg." Despite his best attempts he couldn't suppress the cry of sheer agony as Snape touched his knee.

"Shhh shhh shhh, you've broken your kneecap. Madam Pomfrey will heal that. Just relax." Snape conjured up a stretcher and levitated him onto it.

"Malfoy, Draco, I'm sorry," Harry called out as Snape levitated the stretcher.

He was soon surrounded by his ecstatic teammates. He lifted the Snitch into the air and, looking up into the dark, stormy skies, whispered, "Happy Birthday, Sirius."

Suddenly he was grabbed and hugged by Ginny. "Harry, you were brilliant!" A flood of happiness washed over him. He hadn't felt like this in a long time. Ginny realized how elated he was, as Ron had told her that it was Sirius' birthday. She reached up to kiss him on the cheek, something she had never done before, when he suddenly turned his head. She found her lips on his in surprise.

Harry was startled to find Ginny's lips on his. In his state of joy he gave in to a lingering kiss. Green eyes looked into brown eyes and both pulled away blushing.

"Congratulations, Harry," she stammered shyly.

"Thanks, Ginny," he said quietly, looking down for a moment then smiling at her awkwardly. His black hair was hanging in his eyes and Ginny longed to brush the wet strands off his face. She resisted, embarrassed that she had ended up kissing him, even if it had been accidental. She was glad that Ron hadn't seen it. He had his own crowd of team members congratulating him for blocking the last three shots.

More Gryffindors flooded from the stands, including Hermione. She had tears in her eyes. "Oh Harry, I bet wherever Sirius is he's smiling." With his clothes dripping wet and his shoes soaked from standing in a puddle, Harry felt a surge of gratitude at Hermione's words. He pulled her close, his lips finding hers.

Ginny stood back, her heart clenching. She hadn't realized that Harry and Hermione had grown this close. Ron had never said a word. Tears unexpectedly welled up in her eyes and she turned away from the rest of the celebrations to head to her dorm.

The last thing Draco saw before he was whisked away was the Gryffindors descending on Harry, and Hermione throwing her arms around him and kissing him on the lips. He took another halting breath before closing his eyes and focusing on his misery.

After spending a few uncomfortable moments being stripped of his clothes by Snape and put into pajamas, Draco lay in the hospital bed, downing bitter-tasting potions.

He grimaced at the vile taste but Madam Pomfrey kept handing him one after the other.

Feeling nauseous, he lay back on the mattress. Pansy, Crabbe, Goyle and the rest of the Slytherins gathered around him.

Pansy couldn't seem to keep her hands out of his hair. "I was so scared, Draco."

"Can you all just go!" Draco shouted in desperation. All he wanted was to be alone.

Snape steered them out of the room and then returned a moment later. "They're just worried about you." He looked at him with a concerned dark gaze.

Draco ignored his words. "What's going to happen to Potter?"

Snape's brow furrowed. "I assume he'll get carried around by the rest of the Gryffindors and glorified for the rest of the week."

Draco's eyes flashed and his face flushed. "Not even a detention for what he did to me?"

Just then Hermione entered. Snape sighed. "I have things to do; get some rest."

He turned to Hermione. "He's stuffed full of potions, so he needs to get some rest."

She nodded. "I'll only be a minute."

Snape left and Hermione went over to Draco. His blond hair was all mussed. There was a bruise on his cheek.

"Are you OK? How are you feeling?" she asked softly.

"Like you care. Just get out of here!" he snarled at her angrily.

"Draco, you'll win next time."

"Only if Golden Boy doesn't sabotage me!"

"You know it was an accident, please calm down..." She tried to soothe him.

"Stupid Saint Potter almost got me killed again and then expects me to accept
his apology? That isn't going to happen no matter how much you beg, Granger! That's why you're here, isn't it? Poor Harry feels guilty. 'Oh please, Draco, you just have to forgive him.'" He imitated Hermione's voice as he spat out the words, his cheeks becoming pinker.

Hermione's eyes narrowed at him. He looked furious. His pale face was flushed with anger, his eyes stormy, his pointy chin thrust into the air and his breathing laboured.

"If you stopped being such an insensitive, selfish, prat for a minute, you'd learn that it would have been Sirius's birthday today - you know Sirius, Harry's godfather that was killed last year! Harry was desperate to catch the Snitch for him!"

Draco looked at her incredulously. "How touching!" He sneered. "Did it ever occur to any of you insensitive selfish prats that maybe for once in a game against Potter I would have liked to catch the Snitch? That maybe after all the years of trying not to disappoint my father and trying to make him proud of me it would have been gratifying to win against Potter for once? Maybe wherever my father is he'd hear about it and maybe regret not having encouraged and supported me like Snape does, instead of beating me to a bloody pulp?" He took a deep breath before continuing his tirade, his voice low and icy. "Maybe after everything that's happened it would have been a personal triumph for me to catch it? Maybe I wanted to catch it for Snape after - " He paused, his voice becoming strained. "After all that he's done for me!" He was trembling violently in his anger. He took another deep, raspy breath while staring at the bed sheets. "Just get out of here and don't bother coming back!" he added hoarsely.

Hermione bit her lip. At first she had been angered by his words but now she felt very guilty. She could see how very upset he was; she had thought only of Harry winning without realizing how much Draco might have wanted to catch the Snitch and how cheated of it he felt.

"You are absolutely right, Draco, and I'm so sorry."

He looked at her wide-eyed for a moment before narrowing his eyes.

She continued, "When you tumbled off the broom I was really scared. I'm glad
it's only your knee that was badly hurt."

"Opposed to what, Granger? I can't even walk right now," he retorted angrily.

"Opposed to your neck, for instance," she shot back back, trying to stay calm in the face of his sneer.

His eyes flashed angrily, turning almost translucent silver. "How nice, Granger, a little remorse that I was almost killed! But let's face it, when it comes down to it, it will always be Saint Potty that garners your concerns and support. Your actions today prove that all the talk of friendship is just a bunch of bullock!"

"Draco..." It dawned on Hermione suddenly how insecure about their friendship he was and how upset and angry he was that she had excused Harry and gotten mad at him for not forgiving him right away. If only she could get past his anger and make him see it really had been an accident so he would at least accept Harry's apology and let his anger die down enough to see that they also cared about him.

"Save your breath go and whisper in Golden Boy's ear about how petty and cruel I am."

Hermione sighed angrily. She hated it when Draco behaved so childishly.

Draco smirked at her silence. "What, Mudblooed?" He spoke the last word slowly, emphasizing it. "At a loss for words? Am I not acting like you want me to? I'm not accepting Saint Potty's apology; do you want to slap me across the face again?"

Hermione's eyes narrowed but she responded with a smirk of her own. "Since you're acting like an obnoxious child, I'm thinking that your face isn't the part of you that needs a good series of sharp slaps!"

The smirk disappeared as the implication of her words sank in. He stiffened and glared at her malevolently.

Just then they both realized that Professor McGonagall had come in.

"Miss Granger, Mr. Malfoy needs his rest. He shouldn't even be having visitors," she stated sternly.

"Sorry, Professor McGonagall." Hermione headed for the door, tossing her hair and throwing one glance back at Draco, who stared at her with icy eyes, before closing the door behind her.

"You need to get some sleep and let the potions do their healing. Would you like a wee bit of calming potion?"

Draco shook his head. He was glad McGonagall had come to see him. She would
understand and be on his side. He'd kill anyone who would have suggested it but he cherished those moments when McGonagall fussed over him.He finally got a taste of what he'd been missing out on all his life.

She helped him lie down and brought another blanket.

"So is Potter going to be punished for almost killing me?" he asked pointedly.

"No, Mr. Malfoy, he will not. You know as well as I do that it was an accident."

"That's a load of bullocks!!!" he snarled at her, his anger overwhelming him. It faded quickly when he saw the look in her eyes; it reminded him of the look in his mother's eyes just before the one and only time in his life that she had personally punished him. He knew McGonagall would never hit him but he felt guilty for lashing out at her when she had been nothing but kind to him. He quickly mumbled, "Sorry."

"I obviously didn't need to worry that you were in pain or ill."

She turned to leave when he responded in a quiet, almost pleading, voice, "Please don't go."

She glanced at him. He looked contrite, the anger from his gray eyes gone.

"I have to prepare for a first-year class. Mr. Malfoy, if you think that just because you have changed your tone in order to get what you want after behaving as you have been recently will make me immediately cater to your every wish, you are wrong. You are not in Malfoy Manor. We will not beat you here but we will also not spoil you! Just think about something for me, Mr. Malfoy. If Professor Snape had died last week and you felt responsible, how would you feel if, on his birthday, as a tribute to his memory, you wanted more than anything to catch the Snitch. What if you did, and had accidentally hit and injured Harry in your pursuit? Would you have at least apologized?"

"I'd probably have gotten detention with Filch, since I'm not the golden Gryffindor boy!" he snarled, his anger rising again.

"No, you wouldn't have, because it was an accident." She stared at him with a very disappointed look. "Perhaps Miss Granger's assessment today was rather accurate. I hope your foul mood clears up soon," Her voice was cold and stern before she opened the door.

"J-just go, then," Malfoy choked out. Minerva closed her eyes, fighting back the urge to go to him, trying not to think of his pale, bruised face. After a second's pause, she left, firmly closing the door behind her.

He hit the mattress hard with his fist. He had, in less than half an hour, alienated the one person he had thought of as his friend, as well as the professor who he felt he could always turn to. He took a long, shuddering breath.

Madam Pomfrey came in again, making him swallow some more bitter-tasting potions. They churned around in his stomach, making him feel queasy again. That and the pain in his knee made him wish Professor McGonagall would come back and sit with him for a while. He knew that she was too mad at him to come back and he wished he at least had the stuffed dragon that Hermione had given him. It was in Snape's private rooms where he kept it, not daring to bring it to the Slytherin quarters.

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Hermione sat down beside Harry, who had a huge smile on his face from all the praise the rest of the Gryffindors lathered on him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, noting that she was unusually quiet.

"I tried to talk to Malfoy."

"I thought you were calling him Draco these days."

"Well, he's back to being Malfoy. He just about bit my head off and then called me...well, you can imagine what he called me again."

"He what?!" Ron stormed in after having caught the last sentence.

"Relax, Ron; he's upset and I just made it worse."

"How could you possibly upset him more? Unless, of course, you slapped him again?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, not exactly." Hermione reddened slightly.

Harry and Ron glanced at each other over the table. "Mione, what did you do?" Ron asked with a teasing grin.

She looked up at both of their amused expressions and sighed in defeat. "Well, I sort of alluded to the fact that he was acting like a brat who could use...." She mumbled something.

"What?" they both asked.

She sighed. "Getting a slap on ... his behind." She whispered the last part, blushing hotly.

Harry, who had just been taking a drink of pumpkin juice, spit it out over the table. Ron was barely able to dodge it.

"You what?" Harry asked, his voice heavy with mirth.

She gave him an annoyed look. "You know how much pride he has; I shouldn't have said that."

"Oh, I would have given anything to see the look on his face!" Ron howled in laughter. "So, Hermione, were you planning on administering it yourself?" he asked mischievously.

"Ron, grow up!" She stood up with a loud snort, throwing him a disgusted look as she stormed out of the hall.

"Ron, how could you? She was already feeling bad for having said that to Malfoy."

Ron dissolved into peals of laughter. "I couldn't help myself. You've got to admit, Harry, that no-one here deserves it more than Malfoy. I always wished McGonagall had been there when he called Hermione a Mudblood."

"You know she would have just given him a detention."

"I guess so." Ron sighed.

"I know he's such a git sometimes but he's trying to change and things haven't exactly been easy for him, either. Neither of you saw his memories during that Occlumency lesson; believe me, he doesn't need anyone hitting him." Lucius did enough of that. I'm trying to be patient with him, but he just makes it so difficult sometimes."

"You didn't injure him on purpose."

"No, but it doesn't change the fact that he's ended up in the hospital wing again because of me. I have to go talk to him in the morning."

As Harry's admirers surrounded him, Ron went back to the common room. He found Ginny looking rather teary-eyed on one of the sofas.

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head, giving him a small smile. "Nothing really."

Ron shrugged. "OK."

She frowned slightly. "Why didn't you tell me that Harry and Hermione were a couple?"

It was Ron's turn to frown. "What do you mean?"

"They were snogging after the game." She looked at him curiously.

Ron paled slightly, then turned and went up the stairs to the boys rooms. When Harry came up later, Ron's curtains were closed and, not wanting to disturb him, he too went to bed.

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His body ached from Lucius' beating and the two Cruciatus curses he had been subject to. He took a deep breath and fought with every fiber of strength he had but Lucius cast a binding spell on him, effectively immobilizing him. He gritted his teeth as he realized that Lucius had his left arm stretched up. With horror he saw a long, bony hand holding a wand. It pointed at his arm as an incredible searing pain started to engrave the Dark Mark. He screamed loudly, squeezed his eyes tightly shut and bit his lip so hard he could taste blood.

He sat bolt upright in bed realizing he was in the hospital wing, shivering yet sweating profusely. He got up; his heart was racing so fast that his breath came in short pants. He didn't want to appear like a little kid running to his parents at the sound of thunder, but at that moment he didn't care how it looked, he didn't want to be alone, he wanted Snape nearby. So throwing on his robe and ignoring the sharp pain shooting up his leg, he limped as fast as he could on adrenaline, down to the dungeons to Snape's rooms. He knocked on the door, breathing hard.

Snape was awakened from a sound sleep by the frantic knocking. He got up, wondering which of his first-year students had gotten sick this time. He was startled to find Draco at his door. The blond teen was shaking uncontrollably and breath came in ragged pants.

"Draco, what happened?"

"I'm OK, but can I please stay the night here on the sofa?" His eyes were wide and pleading, his voice a whisper. Snape frowned but then transfigured the sofa once again into a bed and ignited the fire with his wand. Draco shakily climbed into the bed, wrapping his arms around himself. Despite the added warmth he still shivered uncontrollably. Snape got a warmth package and held it against him. Snape then sat down and rubbed his ward's shoulder through the blankets.

"Did something happen in the hospital wing or did you have a nightmare?"

"Please just let me sleep here. I don't want to talk about it."

"I might be able to help," Snape coaxed gently.

Draco squeezed his eyes shut. "It was just a stupid nightmare. I don't want to talk about it." He felt nauseous from the pain now radiating through his knee.

Snape's hand reached out and stroked his forehead. "You are safe here, you
know that, and as long as you do nothing foolish you will continue to be
safe."

He looked into Draco's pain-filled eyes. "Your knee must hurt. You shouldn't have been moving around on it; the potion hasn't had time to heal."

He pulled back the bottom half of the covers and rolled up Draco's pajama leg, frowning at what he saw. The knee was bruised and very swollen. He sighed, glancing at Draco, who stared fixedly at the blanket. He got up and poured some Incentia balm and applied it liberally to a cloth. He came back and applied it to Draco's knee, eliciting a strangled gasp from the blond. He then wrapped a towel around it. He glanced at him again; this time Draco had his eyes tightly squeezed shut.

He realized that the dream must have sent him into a panic in order for him to put any weight on that leg. He knew he must be feeling the results of his actions tenfold.

He tucked another blanket around him. "Would you like something to help dull the pain?" he asked softly.

"Please," came the strained reply.

A soft knock came on his door. He went over to answer it and discovered Minerva standing there.

"Severus, I don't want to worry you, but I just went to check on Mr. Malfoy and he's missing from the hospital wing."

He smiled slightly. "You need not worry; he's here. He had a bad nightmare and re-injured his knee. Poppy will be furious."

"Oh dear," was her reply as she looked at his knee. "Will he need Muggle crutches?"

Snape nodded. "Likely for a day or two, until the healing potion can take hold again. "

Snape had made him lie on his back, the sharp pains vibrating up his leg naking him immobile. McGonagall sat down, gently stroking his hair; he looked up at her, shivering. "You're not mad at me anymore?"

"I'm still very disappointed with your unforgiving behavior...but that doesn't mean that I don't care about you."

He nodded slowly, relieved she was there. She clasped his hand and squeezed it lightly in reassurance. Snape came to the other side of the bed, lifting Draco's head slightly so he could drink the pain potion. Shivering still, he looked back up at McGonagall. "I'm sorry, I..."

Minerva couldn't suppress the small grin that appeared at his words.

"Hush now, don't think about any of it; just concentrate on getting warm. Sit up a bit." She helped him sit up, took a big pillow and slanted it against herself as she sat down on the bed. She reclined against the headboard and after bundling the blankets around him, got him to lean against her with her arms around him, holding him like a sick child.

Snape regarded him with shocked curiosity. He knew that if he tried that, Draco would immediately push him away. Minerva exerted some magic over the boy. It was obvious to Snape that the nightmare had left him quite distraught. He wished he would tell him about it. Draco had come to him seeking security but it was obvious that Minerva was the one who could best provide comfort. He was still amazed that Draco so readily accepted Minerva's nurturing.

"You'll get a good night's sleep now, and by morning you'll feel much better," she whispered into his hair. He nodded slightly, closing his eyes.

When weariness overcame Draco and he fell asleep, Snape looked intently into Minerva's eyes. "Thank you for coming and for caring so much about him."

Minerva's beady eyes regarded him thoughtfully. "Every child should have a mother figure, no matter how old they are." She raised an eyebrow to him.

Snape flushed slightly. Minerva had on occasion acted rather parentally when it came to himself, stern when she was angry with him yet comforting and supporting when he was distraught.

He responded wryly with a grudging half-smile "You fill that role well."

"Thank you," she responded softly. "This boy and Potter both need as much support as we can give them."

"Are you playing mother to Potter also?" he asked, slightly amused that the stern professor also had such a caring side.

"Only when he lets me, but I believe Molly has a closer connection than I have."

Snape nodded. "Draco appears to be very fond of you. I appreciate you building up his trust. He doesn't give it easily."

She smiled grimly. "He's a lot like you, Severus."

Severus snorted in response.