Solstice

Chapter 31 - Resentments Surface

"Draco!" Snape called sharply as he entered the room and saw him.

Draco flinched, his heart jumped and he instantly backed against the wall. "I didn't do this, it was an accident," he stammered.

Snape came to an abrupt halt in front of him. He felt sick seeing Draco's instinctive first reaction.

He softened his tone. "I know it was accident. I never thought otherwise. Are you all right, you didn't brush against the plant anywhere?"

Draco was so relieved Snape didn't blame him he just shook his head numbly.

Unexpectedly, Snape hugged him and quietly said, "I'm glad you are all right." He released him just as quickly and took the potion in his hand over to Ron's night table.

Harry watched the exchange quietly noting Draco's involuntary fearful reaction when Snape first entered. When Snape gave him the quick reassuring hug, he felt jealous, jealous that Sirius wasn't in his life. He looked over at Mrs. Weasley fussing over Ron and the pain of lost memories washed over him. He couldn't remember his mother fussing over him; he had been too young. The one person who had made him feel loved and cared about, the one person who made him feel like he had family was Sirius and do to his stupid 'saviour thing' he was gone. For a little while he felt like Snape was stepping into that role but after what had happened after the apparating lesson, he doubted he could ever feel that way again. Besides seeing the brief unguarded look on Draco's face made his realize how much he needed Snape, it was obvious that he was his lifeline.

Ron felt awful as he slowly regained consciousness, his very eyelids felt like someone had cemented them shut. Bile rose in his throat and he knew he would be sick.

"Here, Ronnie." His mother and Madam Pomfrey helped him sit up and a bucket was placed in front of him. He almost expected slugs to come up but of course there weren't any. He threw up feeling even worse than before.

"You're going to be fine, it is just your body trying to expel the toxins from the plant," the Mediwitch explained while his mum softly stroked his rusty hair.

Ron shut his eyes tightly trying to block out horrible feeling of tiny pincers prickling his skin. It was then he realized he could hardly move his legs and arms. He inhaled sharply trying to keep the panic at bay. He gasped, "I can't feel anything, I can't move."

"Shh shh shh," came his mother's voice as she gently stroked his cheek. "It's one of the side effects of the plant, just relax, it's only temporary. Professor Snape has brewed up a big batch of antidote that will help over the next few days. You're going to be just fine." She kissed his forehead as Ron closed his eyes in misery.

Harry watched quietly envying the love and comfort yet glad that Ron at least had that in his life.

Ginny, Luna and Hermione ran breathlessly into the ward and stood near Ron's bed looking worried.

Ron felt a slight pressure on his hand and opened his eyes. Much to his surprise he found Luna standing there squeezing his hand. "Weasley is our king." She smiled at him wispily.

Beside her stood Hermione, worry clouding her eyes and he was suddenly hugged fiercely by Ginny.

"Cho saw Hagrid carrying you in here and told Luna who came and got us. Are you all right?"

Ron groaned inwardly, and mumbled, "No". Here he was practically puking out his guts and now he had an audience. He sighed and sleep overcame him before he realized Harry and Draco and Snape were all there also.

While Snape talked to Mrs. Weasely, Madam Pomfrey went over to Draco feeling his forehead.

"Oh dear, Mr. Malfoy, I believe you were out in the sun too long. Come sit down."

Snape turned. "Draco, why didn't you wear a hat or put on some lotion."

"I didn't have any," Draco responded as Madam Pomfrey forced him to sit on the edge of a bed.

"And you didn't have the sense to accio some?"

"Severus! Stop badgering him, the child is not feeling well," Mrs. Weasley said shrilly.''

"I'm not a child!" Draco scowled.

Mrs. Weasley smiled complacently. "Of course you aren't, dear." And she patted him on the top of his white blond head.

Harry barely managed to suppress a chuckle at the annoyed yet resigned look on Draco's face.

"Severus, he's dehydrated, he's suffering from heat exhaustion. He needs some fluids and a nice long nap." Madam Pomfrey diagnosed him.

Draco got up tearing out of her grasp.

"I'm fine and I certainly don't need a nap!" Draco snarled, his patience rapidly waning.

"You are sounding awfully cranky, maybe a nap would be just the thing," Hermione chimed in.

Draco glared at her furiously but she grinned and winked and he realized she was just teasing him. The glare dropped instantly and he looked away trying to suppress the small smile that surfaced.

"Drink this," Snape ordered, obviously not amused by Draco's defiance. He held out a large bottle containing a murky greyish-green liquid.

The sight of it turned Draco's stomach instantly, his flushed face paled suddenly and he ran as fast as he could into the washroom. His stomach emptied the remnants of his breakfast.

"Poor boy is nauseous," Madam Pomfrey stated the obvious, and shook her head in sympathy.

"I'll take care of him," Snape spoke up. He grabbed Draco's arm as he came out of the washroom looking even worse and feeling quite embarrassed. "Drink this down it will rehydrate you and get onto this bed."

Draco shook his head. "I can't stay here. With Weasley puking, it just makes me feel more nauseous."

Snape sighed wearily. "Ms. Granger would you mind taking him down to my quarters and ensuring he drink this and lie down on the bed?"

She nodded.

"I don't need an escort. I can get there on my own!" Draco stated.

Snape ignored his words but his intense dark glare silenced Draco.

"If you encounter anyone on the way just act disgusted that I ordered you to take care of him, I'm sure the two of you can hurl enough insults at each other to make it believable." His gaze turned back to the blond boy.

"You will go with Ms. Granger, you will do as she says, and if I hear of any trouble you will answer to me! Understood?"

Draco froze, glaring resentfully at Snape but feeling too queasy to mouth off. He gave a quick angry nod, relieved that at least he didn't have to stay in the hospital wing, but mortified by the way Snape ordered him around.

Hermione took the bottle from Snape and smiled softly at Draco. "Do you want to go now or rest for a few minutes."

"Let's go," he mumbled throwing a scathing look at Snape.

As soon as they were out in the hallway, Draco turned to her. "I'm fine and I promise to drink that." He wrinkled up his nose. "But I don't need you walking me down to the dungeon; I can manage that just fine on my own, thanks," he drawled.

"Draco, you are all flushed and sweaty and you just threw up - you are far from fine."

His stormy eyes narrowed and he flushed an even more pink shade. "I only threw up because Weasley did."

Hermione's eyebrow went up and in an amused voice she responded, "Why? In sympathy?"

He scowled at her. "Why don't you just go back and fawn over pathetic Potter, I'm sure he'll enjoy your attention!"

Hermione's eyes flashed. "He's not pathetic!"

"Ok fine, he's not pathetic but you'd rather be by his side then heading down to the dungeon because Snape made you!"

Hermione quietly stated, "He's just worried about you, you know."

Draco stared stonily in front of him as they walked down the stairs.

Hermione sighed loudly.

Draco stopped. "I didn't ask for your help, we can both just pretend that you did what Snape asked."

"Will you stop being such an insufferable git! You're not feeling well and I'm going to take care of you and I don't care how pissed off you are!"

His eyes narrowed and turned icy.

She looked at him calmly. "The angrier you get the better your chances of being sick again, if you want to hurl all over the staircase that's your prerogative but the smart thing would be to stay calm and follow Snape's instructions."

He turned from her wordlessly not trusting his voice since he was so furious. He continued walking towards the dungeon.

Hermione couldn't resist enthusiastically responding with a, "Good Boy." As if she was rewarding a dog that had just performed a trick.

She noticed Draco twitch like he was using every ounce of restraint within him to not hex her.

When they got to Snape's private rooms she felt guilty for making him angry as he immediately headed to the washroom and was once again sick. When he was done his strained voice quietly said, "You can go now, I'm going to take a shower and then I'll drink that awful stuff."

"You need to drink it now or you won't start feeling better."

He came out looking the worse for wear, held out his hand for the bottle, opened it and drank it all down, grimacing at the end. He looked at her pointedly, raising an eyebrow. "YOU can go now!" He then turned, dismissing her and headed back into the bathroom.

She gritted her teeth but decided to stay. "Sometimes he's like a blast ended screwt and has to be handled with care," she said to Loki, who wound himself around her legs and gave an agreeable, "Mmmfh".

She transfigured some water into ice like she had the time Draco twisted his ankle, after chipping it into tiny pieces she wrapped it in a cloth.

After his shower Draco came out in Snape's black bathrobe. Much to his surprise he found Hermione still standing there.
"I thought you'd left?" he asked sneering.

"Obviously not. You look awful. Do you feel any better at all?"

He wanted to lie and say yes but the truth was he did feel awful and dizzy and didn't have the energy to argue with miss know it all. He mumbled, "No."

"Are you feeling dizzy, you look a little woozy?"

Draco gave an annoyed snort at her words. "Malfoy's don't do woozy!"

Hermione sighed, "Fine then, you look dizzy, like you are suffering from vertigo - your equilibrium looks unbalanced, should I go on...?"

"Ok ok, I get it." He suddenly smirked lightly. "I do feel a bit....woozy."

Hermione laughed softly, grabbed the cold cloths and put a big pillow on her lap. "Come lie down before you faint."

He stood there with the customary scowl on his face.

She sighed again and rephrased to pacify that damn Malfoy pride of his. "Before you lose consciousness, pass out, hit the floor."

He hesitated. "You want me to lie on your lap?"

"Mmmhmmm," she responded pulling a blanket closer.

He awkwardly lay down on the bed feeling incredibly tired. Hermione put one ice filled cloth on his forehead and other one on the back of his neck.

"What are you doing?" he asked groggily.

"It's something my mother used to do when I had a fever."

He groaned. "Great! Some muggle method it's the last thing I need."

"Just shut up and close your eyes."

He did as she said and realized how good the two cloths felt. Hermione gently smoothed back his still damp hair. "Better, Draco?"

He mumbled something inaudible but it sounded affirmative. Before Hermione could utter another word, he had fallen asleep. She lightly stroked his shoulder and smiled to herself. A short six months ago the idea of Draco Malfoy asleep with his head in her lap would have been ludicrous. She sat back against the headboard. He stirred softly wrapping one arm around her knee. She couldn't resist running her fingers through that light blond hair; it really was a striking colour. She stayed still, watching him sleep for at least an hour. Then when Professor Snape came in she gently slid Draco off her lap with the pillow. He moaned softly and flipped over to lie on his stomach his arm hugging the pillow as Loki curled up by his side. When she thought that Snape wasn't looking she leant over and softly kissed his cheek once whispering, "Sweet dreams."

Hours later he woke up slowly, realizing that he was lying on his stomach and his head was no longer in Hermione's lap. He looked up at Snape's dark eyed concerned gaze. "How are you feeling."

"Ok."

Snape reached out to help him sit up but he pulled back. Snape frowned. "Draco?"

The light coloured eyes flashed at him angrily. "Why do you have to embarrass me in front of the golden trio all the time!"

Snape scowled a bit. "Because sometimes you don't use common sense and incidents like today will only lead to you or others getting hurt!"

"I didn't hurt Weasley!" Draco responded angrily.

"I know you didn't and in fact you likely saved his life. However if that hadn't happened you would have spent a few more hours out in the sun and instead of experiencing the mild discomfort you are now in, you would be suffering from a bad case of heat stroke."

Draco was still furious and hurt all at the same time.

"Drink this and then we'll get going with the Occlumency lesson."

Extreme dread gripped Draco's heart. He took the glass Snape offered. "I, I don't feel well enough. I think I'm going to be sick again," he mumbled quietly.

Snape's hand shot out feeling his forehead.

"I think you are going to be just fine." He noted the resentful look Draco flashed him.

He softened his tone. "I know how bad the first lesson was but you know it is necessary. The headmaster and I spoke and I will take it very slow. I promise I will end each lesson after one memory if you haven't succeeded in blocking me out. We will talk about it and make sure you can deal with it calmly. We are all here for you, you won't have to deal with anything by yourself ever again. Just be open with us."

Draco still looking extremely uncomfortable nodded reluctantly.

Snape softly reassured, "It's all right to be scared."

The gray eyes snapped up at him. "I'm not scared."

Snape didn't respond just raised his eyebrow. Draco's gaze dropped to the floor knowing that Snape knew the truth.

"What worked for Harry was concentrating his anger at the person invading his mind and directing it back at them. This way he was able to force me out of his mind. Give that try and see if it works. Ready?"

The blond teen responded with a shaky, "Yes." He stood looking apprehensive with his wand drawn. Snape's heart went out to him as he looked at him. He wished it wasn't necessary, he hated torturing him with his past. He sighed.

"Clear your mind. Focus on repelling me," came Snape's instruction.

"Legilimens."

Images swirled around in his head. He was a five year old once again and his parents were having a dinner party. He was forced to sit at the table amongst the adults even though he had been ill for two days. The meal set in front of him was sautéed cow's brains. The smell and mushy look of them flipped his stomach. Without thinking he yelled out loud, "I'm not eating this!" Everyone turned to look at him.

His father stood up and threw his napkin down angrily, Draco whimpered.

"You have been taught better than to behave like this at the dinner table," Lucius had quietly snarled. "I apologize for my son's behavour and as such you may witness his punishment." Lucius pulled him up and stood him on the chair in front of all the guests. He punished him using his wand as a switch, Draco between his own sobs heard the guests applauding and encouraging Lucius.

Snape lifted the spell quickly. Draco was left trembling gripping the side of the desk, overwhelmed by the shame and embarrassment of being punished in front of all those people. The only voice that had spoken up in protest that day had been Snape's. He had only known him as his father's friend who had always been kind to him. He had heard him snarl in an angry controlled voice. "That's enough Lucius." Lucius had then stopped hitting him, and sat him down hard back in the chair threatening, "You will not leave the table until you finish every bite of this."

He had sat there his head down on his arms quietly crying. As far as his father's punishments went it hadn't been bad just a half a dozen hits but he had felt so ashamed. When the guests finished they went into another room. He then felt a hand gently stroke the top of his head. A soft voice had said, "Shhh little one you're all right now, I suspect you are more embarrassed than badly hurt, you're going to be ok, go on to your room."

He had cried that he couldn't until he finished his food. As he looked up tearfully, Snape had pulled out his wand and make his dinner disappear. "It will be our secret. Go on now."

He had wiped his face and had stood up on shaky legs. He had looked up at the dark eyes that looked at him so concerned and burst into tears. Snape had dropped down to his level, had put his hands on his shoulders and pulled him close. He had then sat down on the chair and lifted him onto his lap holding him tight against his chest.

He had spoken to him in a quiet and soothing voice.

"It's over now, Draco, your father was just embarrassed and wanted to embarrass you in turn, hush now." When the little boy's sobs quieted, Snape whispered softly, "Go on to your room now, everything will be all right."

Draco's eyes closed tightly as the memory ended. His breaths came in shallow pants. He once again felt Snape's hand on his head.

"I remember that incident," his voice came softly.

Draco took a deep breath. "You had always been nice to me. You gave me my first potions set." He sniffed softly.

Anger had welled up in Snape seeing Draco's memory of that time. He had been furious with Lucius for doing that to him. Snape's father had done something similar to him on a number of occasions and he still felt vulnerable and humiliated whenever those memories resurfaced.

"Did he ever do anything like that again, when I wasn't around?" Snape asked wondering if his conversation with Lucius that day had at least had some effect on him.

Draco shook his head. "No, never in front of other people again."

Snape sighed heavily. "My father did similar things to me on a number of occasions, he usually encouraged his guests to assist him in his punishments," he spoke in a low pained voice.

Draco's wide eyes looked up at him. "You really know how I feel sometimes don't you?"

Snape nodded. "Unfortunately, yes."

Draco continued slowly, "My mother - that night she..."

Snape frowned. "What did she do?"

"She was furious at me for disrupting the party, she didn't think my father had punished me adequately so she came into my room and caned me."

"WHAT!" Snape growled.

Draco looked up in alarm "She only hit me twice before my father came into the room and stopped her. He told her that she wasn't allowed to hurt me, that he had already punished me and he was the only one who could. She never hit me again after that. He sat with me for a few minutes till I stopped crying. I loved him for that," Draco explained quietly.

Snape winced inwardly. He reached over pulled Draco to him holding him for a moment before he embarrasedly squirmed out of his grasp.

"I'm ok. He talked to me, he told me what it meant to be a Malfoy. He said he was sorry for hitting me but that sometimes he needed to do so so I would learn what was expected of me and honour the Malfoy name. He told me he knew I would make him proud."

Draco's voice became strained and he turned away from Snape biting back the tears that threatened to choke him as he remembered his father patting him gently on his back and his words just before he fell asleep. "You are my son, Draco, I know you will make me proud."

When Snape put his hand on the trembling teen's shoulder he pulled away abruptly as a small sob escaped. "Don't!"

Snape patiently held back, he knew how emotional Occlumency memories could be and Draco was struggling for control.

When he took a deep shaky breath, Snape knew he had won the battle.

Draco gave a shaky smile. "I guess I didn't make him very proud." His eyes filled up and once again turned away swearing softly.

"You would have made any father proud. You work hard, you are smart, and you are resourceful. You can't judge yourself on Lucius' expectations; cruelty, prejudice and arrogance aren't good measures of character."

He stepped closer putting his hand comfortingly on the back of his neck. This time he didn't pull away. "Are you all right now?" Snape asked softly.

Draco nodded allowing Snape to reach out to him for a moment.

"You are really going to need to concentrate on blocking me out of your thoughts."

Draco pulled back, softly agreeing. "I know, it's just so hard when the memories come."

"I know it's painful, I had the same problems when the headmaster taught me. Harry also took a long time to learn."

Draco shook slightly remembering the shared Occlumency lesson when his whole life was exposed.

Snape sighed. "Go get some dinner and then some sleep. Here's some dreamless sleep potion, you are looking rather weary lately and I think you could use it."

Draco appreciated that Snape didn't attempt to make him talk about his nightmares, he obviously knew but didn't press him. He smiled gratefully and took the small vial as he headed to the great hall.

Snape meanwhile after grabbing a small vial, went back to the hospital wing to check on Weasley and to talk to Harry.

The red head was snoring softly. Snape had spoken to Madam Pomfrey in the hallway and she assured him that Weasley aside from being sick two more times was doing much better and was starting to feel some tingling in his legs. She predicted he would be able to go to his classes by Monday morning. She also told him Potter would be released right after dinner; he had spent some time with Ron and then had fallen asleep for an hour so she felt he was well enough to spend the night in the dorm.

Harry was sitting on his bed with a resentful look on his face.

Snape knew the last thing he wanted to do was see and talk to him.

He held out the vial. "Potter take this!" he ordered.

Harry looked suspiciously at the small vial. "What is it?"

"A calming potion for your nerves. I need to talk to you and I want to ensure you don't have another episode since I'm sure you won't like what I have to say."

Harry grew angry - how dare Snape.

"I am not interested in anything you have to say, " Harry replied stiffly.

"Don't be an idiot, your behaviour impacts all of our futures. Drink the potion," Snape stated in a low dangerous tone.

Despite everything, Harry still retained a smidgen of fear when it came to Snape. He wouldn't put it past him to cast a spell or hex that would force the potion down his throat. With fury shining from his eyes he downed the contents of the vial.

He expected to see a gleam of satisfaction in Snape's eyes but there was nothing in the cold dark expression.

Snape waited a few moments presumably for the potion to take effect. "I will apologize again for having upset you enough to warrant another attack but I need to ensure you will not act so foolishly again to jeopardize what we have worked so hard for."

Harry snorted. "WE aren't the ones Voldemort is after. It's me that he wants and I've had to face him everytime. If WE have any chance of succeeding then I have to excel at everything and if that means being one step ahead of your precious Draco then I will continue to do so!"

Snape's eyes narrowed. "So you are telling me you still haven't realized how badly you jeopardized the plan with your arrogance? The orders extra training for all of you was put at risk, I could have been exposed, not to mention that you could have been seriously hurt and ended up at St. Mungo's for months? Are you really that dimwitted?" Snape snarled.

Harry opened his mouth to respond but couldn't think of anything that would explain how he felt. He glared at Snape.

Snape took a deep breath calming himself. "Let me explain it in explicit details."

"Don't bother," Harry interrupted.

"Oh I will bother and you will listen." Snape sat down on the edge of the bed.

"If Tonks hadn't known how to get you out of the splinch, the ministry would have had to be notified. They would question why we are teaching you skills outside of Hogwarts, they would want to know who was teaching..."

"I would have lied," Harry interrupted again.

Snape looked at him displeased. "As accomplished as you are at lying, they would not hesitate using Veritaserum on you to discover the truth. The order would have been exposed, the Dark Lord would have found out, I would have been exposed and you would likely be incapacitated and the Dark Lord would certainly have enjoyed that. Your little ploy was foolish, childish and dangerous. If you are to succeed you need to use your brain and think things through and most importantly listen to those who are trying to help and teach you!"

Harry felt like a chastised child about to be sent to his room without dinner. Resentment burned in him. At that moment he hated Snape for making him feel that way yet he hated him even more for being right. He knew in retrospect what he did was wrong and could have gotten them all in trouble but the last thing he wanted to do was admit it to Snape.

Snape looked at him shaking his head. "Well is there at least an apology for your actions coming soon?"

Harry scoffed, "Right! An apology from me to you? Remember I was the one lying on the ground thanks to your words."

Snape sighed. "For which I apologized." His dark eyes bore into Harry. "When you splinched yourself, you startled me badly. I have seen wizards splinched before and it can be a very serious and painful injury. I did not want to see that happen to you."

Harry's resentment lessened a bit.

Snape stood up. "Think about what you did and how it could have jeopardize everything. I'm assuming you don't want to do that and you don't want the Dark Lord to win." With a whirl of his black cloak, Snape exited leaving Harry with a heavy heart.