Solstice

Chapter 29 - Apparating, Pain, Denial

"We've wasted enough time. Let's get to work," Snape snapped. "Draco, get over there beside Hermione. Harry, Ron, you are with me."

As Snape and Tonks explained, Apparating was hard to learn and many wizards never did. It required a great deal of concentration. Snape and Tonks demonstrated separately that once learned, it could be easy as they apparated from one place to another.

Hermione's hand flew into the air. "Can two people apparate together?"

Tonks responded, "Yes, Hermione, but they have to be physically touching. For instance..." She walked over to Snape, whose dark eyes regarded her suspiciously. She smiled sweetly at him, grabbed his hand, and with him in tow apparated with a loud crack to the other side of the clearing and with another loud crack she apparated back still holding Snape's hand.

Snape fought back the urge to tear his hand away. Being touched unexpectedly always startled him. He surmised it was from a childhood of being beaten by his father and then later being crucio'd by the Dark Lord that make the human touch so distasteful to him. Spontaneous physical displays were always hard for him to tolerate. Once he recovered from the initial shock he realized how warm Tonks' hand had felt in his own, his heart had started beating faster. She smiled at him for a second before letting go.

"But first, you need to learn how to apparate yourselves before you ever come anywhere near apparating someone with you."

"Potter, Weasley, I want you both to focus on that tree over there. It's the perfect distance to practice on for the first time. Imagine that's where you want to be and focus your energy on it. But it's imperative to remember to focus all of yourselves. There have been very serious accidents - some wizards have painfully splinched themselves, which is why it is very important to focus on what we say and follow our instructions. No deviating from the rules." Snape emphasized the last words loudly and distinctly.

"The easiest way to learn how to apparate is to think of your body as a wisp of air," Tonks elaborated to Draco and Hermione.

Draco snorted. "A wisp of air?" He raised an eyebrow.

Tonks narrowed her eyes at him. "Yes, Draco, you know a wisp of air, light like a feather or like a floating fairy."

He smirked. "Sounds like something a Hufflepuff would do, not a Slytherin."

"Well then I'm teaching the wrong student how to apparate. Why don't you go back to Hogwarts and send a Hufflepuff back in your place?" she said curtly, hoping that he would shut his mouth and get to work.

Hermione couldn't help the soft chuckle that worked its way up her throat. Draco shot her a withering look but didn't say another word. He was still pissed at Snape for yelling at him in front of the others. For a moment, a horrible anxiety and insecurity had welled up within him. His father had always said that he was ashamed of him and that he was an embarrassment to the name Malfoy. Tonks noticed the sudden forlorn look on Draco's face and her impatience with him immediately diminished.

"Draco," she spoke softly, interrupting his thoughts and gaining a startled look. "Do you want to give it a try?" His pointed chin came up as the confident scowl returned. He nodded curtly.

Tonks came over to stand behind him and put her hands on his shoulders. "Take a deep breath. You need to totally relax or you'll be splinched." She rubbed his shoulders and waited until most of the tension was gone. "Now, focus on the tree over there, close your eyes, see it your mind. You are light as a breeze, but as fast and powerful as a lightening bolt. In your mind say destina."

He hated being on the spot like this. He was still very embarrassed by the boggart incident. What if he failed again? He shook the depressing thought out of his head and focused on the fact that he was a Malfoy, he was better than everyone, he was a pureblood. However, in the back of his mind came the little voice of truth telling him that he wasn't better, and that he hardly ever came out ahead.

Just then Tonks whispered in his ear, "come on cos, you can do it."

He had known they were related, but his mother had always made disparaging remarks about the Tonks family so hadn't paid much attention. A small smile came to his lips. It was nice having one relative who actually offered encouragement. He closed his eyes seeing the tree in his mind. He said "destina" in his head. Suddenly a loud crack filled the air and he felt a whoosh of cool air then found himself standing by the tree. He looked back at the startled faces across the clearing. Tonks looked positively gleeful. Potter, Weasley and Hermione looked shocked. Snape smiled, actually smiled. Draco couldn't believe he had done it, he smirked his best smirk, thoroughly pleased with himself.

"Stay there, Draco, let's see if we can get someone else to join you," Tonks instructed.

Hermione tried next, but surprisingly didn't do it. She frowned, feeling very frustrated. Ron focused on Snape's instruction and concentrated hard, but had no success. He looked angry, much to Draco's obvious pleasure.

"It's all right, Weasley, it is a hard thing to learn. Draco was most likely a fluke; it's very rare to get it on the first time. Usually, it takes months," Snape stated, glancing at Draco again with pride in his eyes. "Be warned, Draco. You might not be able to do it so fast a second time."

The pleasure he felt over Ron's failure diminished a bit.

Then it was Harry's turn. Harry had felt a terrible pang of jealousy when Malfoy apparated. The old rivalry surfaced. If Malfoy could do it, then he could do it better. He had to be better. Aside from Potions, he always beat him at everything. He narrowed his green eyes and focused on a tree a farther distance from where Malfoy stood. He closed his eyes and mumbled the word and heard a loud crack. At first when he opened his eyes and saw the tree, triumph shone from his eyes. He turned to look across the clearing and much to his surprise everyone stared at him with horrified expressions.

Malfoy smirked. "Didn't you forget something Potter?"

It was then he realized his left shoulder and arm were back from where he had started. He tried to move but was stuck as if glued to the air next to him. His heart started racing and he felt dizzy as panic set in.

Snape stormed towards him, cape flying out behind him. "What did you think you were doing!? That's not the tree I told you to aim for!" he snarled, fury emanating from his black eyes.

"I wanted to go further because..."

Snape cut him off. "You WANTED? Did you not listen to anything we have been saying? You wanted to go further? After I explicitly explained what could happen!! What you mean to say, Potter, is that like your father and godfather you couldn't stand being bested, especially not by a Slytherin, so in your arrogance you just had to take it one step further..." Snape took a deep breath. "Well, are you pleased with yourself? You are now splinched and we'll have to contact the Ministry for Improper Use of Magic and our secret training will be exposed!"

Harry swallowed hard. He hated that Snape was once again bashing his father and Sirius, but he also felt a pang of dread over Snape's words. He hadn't intentionally jeopardized the training. He just wanted to learn this fast and move on to the next lesson.

"Severus, that's enough!" Tonks shouted, her hair suddenly turning bright red and her eyes flashing green. "How it came about is rather moot at this moment, considering that he is splinched. Let's not overreact, but we need to get him out of this immediately."

Snape's eyes bore into her. "The ministry will have a field day with this, thanks to Potter's arrogance!"

Tonks released an angry breath, walked up close to him, her angry eyes flashing as she looked up at him. "CHILL OUT! You are not helping the situation. Now stand aside so I can work."

He growled at her, "You? What can you do?"

She glared at him and spoke in a low tone, "I have many skills you know nothing of!" His eyebrows raised slightly as her glare turned into a smirk.

She turned from him to Harry. "Harry, just relax. This is certainly a bit of a pickle you've gotten yourself into, but you're in luck. I worked with the Ministry for Improper Use of Magic for awhile." She went over to where his shoulder and arm were and put her hand on his shoulder. "Can you feel this?" she asked as she squeezed his shoulder.

Harry nodded tensely. He was very uncomfortable. To everyone's amazement Tonks mumbled some words, waved her wand and then apparated with Harry's shoulder and arm. As she reappeared, the force of the body parts reconnecting knocked them both to the ground.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

Harry gingerly tested his shoulder. It was a bit stiff, but considering what had happened he had gotten off lucky.

He glanced up at Snape, whose dark eyes glowered at him furiously. In a low voice, Snape snarled, "Well Potter, you just couldn't let Draco succeed for once, so you decided to better him by once again breaking the rules."

Harry, his eyes blazing furiously responded, "I'm the one that has to face Voldemort! I'm the one that has to kill him! I have to be better, I..."

Snape interrupted, "Yes, I had forgotten that the world revolves around the Golden Boy. So where does that leave everyone else? Dead like Cedric and Black?"

Tonks' mouth dropped open at Snape's cruel worlds. Harry winced as the first tendrils of pain shot through his scar. "No! Safe! I have to keep everyone safe!"

"Are you just too dense to realize that you can't do this on your own? I had hoped you had learned this lesson, but apparently not. In order to stay safe and hopefully alive they..." He waved his hand to the other three. "All need to be able to protect themselves to the best of their ability as well. We have to work together and listen to each other. Unless, of course, you want a repeat of last summer?"

Pain shot through his eyes this time as he looked at Snape and he cried out as his hands went up to cover them. He fell to his knees as a dagger-like pain shot through his head and his body convulsed from an icy chill that tore through him.

"Potter," Snape's voice changed instantly to reflect the shock and worry he felt as Harry collapsed to the ground, curling into a ball.

"Harry!" came Hermione's frightened yell as she raced towards him with Ron not far behind. Draco slowly followed.

"Noooo! Not again!" Harry gasped through the searing pain in his eyes and in his scar.

White-faced, Snape looked up at Tonks. "I'll get him to the hospital wing." He conjured a stretcher and lifted Harry onto it.

The pain was once again overwhelming. His hands pressed as hard as they could over his forehead and his eyes. He tried to fight back the nausea that threatened to overwhelm him; his breath came in strained pants.

Hermione ran alongside the stretcher rubbing his arm. "It's ok, Harry. It will be ok." She felt tears coming to her eyes, seeing him in so much pain. She looked up at Snape and Tonks. "Why is this happening again?"

Snape looked grim, knowing that this time he was responsible for sparking the attack. Tonks, whose hand was on Harry's shoulder on the opposite side of the stretcher, shook her head. "Is this how it happened last time?"

Draco nodded, puzzled by what kept happening to Potter. "Last time something I said upset him and he collapsed just like this..." He glanced up at Snape, whose guilt ridden dark eyes stared back at him.

As soon as they neared Hogwarts, Snape growled, "Draco!"

He stopped, suddenly realizing that he couldn't be seen with the rest of Potter's entourage. He nodded reluctantly and headed off in a different direction.

Cold chills shook Harry's body, but his head felt as if he was on fire. He couldn't control the moan that escaped his lips as he was lifted onto a bed in the hospital wing. Seconds later, everything went black.

Madam Pomfrey waved Ron and Hermione out. "I'll get the headmaster," Snape spoke in a strained voice.

"No, I'll get him; you stay with Harry," Tonks spoke up, noticing how upset Snape was. His words had been very cruel, but Harry had definitely broken the rules they had both set. Snape glanced at her and for a moment she actually detected a flash of gratitude in his eyes.

Snape sat down beside Harry, resting one hand on the teen's black, disheveled hair. He felt terrible: he wished he hadn't spoken so hastily. He wished he could take away the incredible pain Harry was in. Madam Pomfrey put a cloth soaked with incetia balm on Harry's forehead and over his eyes. She then ran her wand over his body. "He's fine physically, aside from a wrenched shoulder, so whatever this is - it is either caused by dark magic or it's something emotional."

Snape's eyes narrowed. "Or a combination of both?"

Madam Pomfrey nodded. "It is a possibility. Poor boy, as if he hasn't been through enough. Now this."

Dumbledore came in, lightly touching Harry's shoulder. "What happened to cause this? Did he and Draco have words again?"

"No, I'm reluctant to admit that it was my fault this time," Snape explained in a quiet voice, looking up at the headmaster.

Dumbledore's eyebrows rose slightly as he regarded his Potions Master. Snape was the first to break eye contact, his gaze going back to Harry.

With a sigh, Dumbledore sat down beside him.

"He splinched himself after breaking the rules during an apparating lesson. I'm afraid I lost my temper and yelled at him. I said some things that I believe made him angry and frustrated." Snape took a breath and softly said, "I'm sorry."

Dumbedore's hand lightly reached out and patted Snape's head. "These days I know your actions weren't intentional. We have to find the root of what is causing Harry such agony. It could destroy him, making him incapacitated to fight when the time comes."

While the headmaster and Snape talked, Tonks stood back studying Snape, her eyes taking in every inch of him. Ever since she had first met him, he had held her interest. He wasn't a handsome man, nor even remotely what one would call attractive, but he was intriguing, irresistibly intriguing. He paid her no mind unlike most other men, who made her very uncomfortable and self-conscious with their stares and attention. Severus Snape was an enigma. There were numerous whispers of a dark, haunted past, and when she learned he had the Dark Mark and was once a Death Eater, she was horrified and kept her distance. Once she calmed down enough to think rationally, she realized that Dumbledore would not let anyone dangerous into the Order. She knew that Snape was constantly in danger and perhaps that was why he was quiet, bitter, and withdrawn. She had talked to Dumbledore about him once, but he had failed to reveal much to her casual questions, which ended up intriguing her even more. His eyes, those dark, fathomless eyes that held so much and yet revealed so little. She shook her head, dispelling thoughts of the mysterious potions master to focus back on Harry, who was still unconscious.

"We could enervate him," Dumbledore stated, "but I'd rather he rest peacefully without pain for awhile."

As Hermione and Ron made their way back to Gryffindor, Luna inquired what had happened upon seeing their distraught faces. Ron stopped to explain while Hermione decided she as too upset to deal with inquiring Gryffindors as to Harry's whereabouts. She headed out the door, emotion blinding her as she ran down to the lake. Her eyes were full of tears as she dropped near her favorite tree. Her hands came to her face as she thought of the agony Harry was in minutes before, but the dampness chilled her quickly. She dried her tears and started heading back.

"Hermione?" She turned to discover Draco walking towards her. He stopped suddenly, his eyes wide, startled to see that she had obviously been crying. "What's going on with Potter?"

She sniffed. "I don't know, but he's in so much pain. I want to help him, but I don't know how." Her voice grew choked at the end.

Draco stood in front of her awkwardly. He tentatively put a hand on her shoulder and rubbed her arm. "He'll be all right, everyone cares about him, they'll help him."

With a small sob she nodded then moved closer dropping her head on his shoulder. His heart did a painful jump as her arms came around him, clinging to him softly. He brought his arms around her, hugging her gently. She had, after all, done the same for him when he had been upset. "Shhhh. He'll be ok. "

"I love him. I couldn't stand it if anything bad happened to him," Hermione choked out.

Draco stiffened. She loved Potter? Of course she did. It really didn't matter. She's a mudblood, dirty, filthy little mudblood, and he didn't care. For some reason, a wave of intense sadness washed over him and he dropped his head to her hair, inhaling the warm scent of vanilla. Other than perhaps a slight friendship, he didn't care about her, he didn't care about anyone, expect Snape, and perhaps McGonagall and Dumbledore.

Hermione sniffed again and then laughed, clearly embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Draco, I didn't mean to cry all over you."

"You owe me a new cloak," he teased softly.

She smiled teary-eyed at him. "Good thing we're well hidden behind these trees and that no one saw us." She grinned wryly as she backed out of his embrace. "Thanks."

He nodded curtly, his eyes unreadable.