Solstice

Chapter 28 - Truce and Turmoil

The following morning, Harry woke up feeling much better. It was as if all the pain from the day before was nothing but a bad nightmare. Madam Pomfrey insisted on checking him over again thoroughly and then sent him on his way.

Hermione hugged him tightly as soon as she saw him. "I was so worried about you."

He hugged her back, noticing how her hair smelled of vanilla. "I'm ok, really." He could feel her heart racing.

"I could hardly sleep last night; it was horrible seeing you in so much pain."

He let go of her and, with a crooked grin, responded, "Believe me, it wasn't much fun from my end either."

"Do you know what happened? Had your scar been hurting before? Was it because of what Draco said?" Hermione's barrage of questions amused Harry.

He grinned at her and said softly, "No, no and I don't know. Malfoy pissed me off and for a moment I really wanted to retaliate, but then the pain hit me. I don't know why." What Harry didn't say was that for a blinding moment he wanted to kill Malfoy for his cruelty.

Hermione sighed, looking worried. "I hope it doesn't happen again."

They made their way to the great hall for breakfast. The Gryffindors immediately surrounded him, having heard from Ron and Hermione that he had spent the night in the hospital wing. He assured everyone that he'd had a bad headache but that he was fine now.

As the mail was delivered, Harry felt the same pang he always did these days - there would never again be another letter from Sirius.

He was surprised when one of the Hogwarts owls dropped a letter in front of him. Puzzled, he opened it to find three words neatly printed. "I am sorry."

Harry's eyes glanced over at the Slytherin table and met Malfoy's gaze. Part of him wanted to hurt him back, but Hermione already told him that Ron had broken his nose in Harry's defense. Malfoy looked contrite, guilty almost. Harry looked away, not quite ready to forgive him just yet. He has reasoned out that the actual pain wasn't Malfoy's fault, but he didn't want to forgive the pain that his words had caused. His cruel words had felt like daggers, he had thought they had gotten past that.

Draco felt a flash of disappointment that Harry had apparently not forgiven him. Now that he'd had a chance to calm down from the boggart ordeal and think about Harry, he knew that he had sincerely just been trying to help him. He wasn't used to anyone helping him without expecting something in return. He hated being pitied, so he did what came naturally: he insulted Potter so that he would keep his distance. He hadn't expected, however, for him to react as he did. Snape, McGonagall and Lupin had all been disappointed with him, and it bothered him more than he ever thought it would. He couldn't even glance in Dumbledore's direction because he was afraid to see the disapproving gleam in those light blue eyes.

Hermione had been angry with him too. He idly stared at his french toast, wondering how the first lesson in apparating would go today. Would they all avoid him and not speak to him?

Fine then, he didn't care and he definitely didn't need them. His eyes flicked over to Hermione as she put her arm around Potter. With a scowl, he got up, abruptly startling Crabbe and Goyle, and left the table, heading out to the Quidditch Field. He accioed his Firebolt and flew recklessly at top speed until he felt a bit better.

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Despite all the attention, Harry stayed very quiet and withdrawn during breakfast. Hermione put her arm around him and rubbed his back. "Maybe you shouldn't be up so soon?"

"I'm fine," he responded with exasperation.

"Ok, ok, sorry. But it was rather hard seeing you in so much pain yesterday, so forgive me for being a bit worried about you," Hermione responded in a huff.

Harry sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he looked at Hermione. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm just a bit out of sorts, wondering if whatever it was yesterday will happen again."

He got up and left the table. He decided to grab his Firebolt and head to the Quidditch Field. Flying always made him feel like he was in control. He entered onto the field only to find Malfoy standing there looking flushed and a little disheveled.

His eyes narrowed at him. "What? You won't accept my apology but now you're following me?"

Harry scoffed. "Get over yourself, Malfoy. You are the last person I want to see."

Malfoy sneered. "Feeling's mutual."

Harry burst out, "How would you have felt if I'd said you deserved everything Lucius did to you! Oh but wait, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that, I just wanted to get a rise out of you?"

Draco's icy eyes flashed and he shouted, "I can't take it back, so all I can say is that I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say what I did. "

"Yes you did!" Harry stated quietly. "You meant to hurt me. All I was trying to do was help you! We shook on a truce before New Years, remember that?"

Draco sneered "Of course I remember that, Potter. I haven't lost my memory!"

Harry's eyebrow shot up. "Really? You could have fooled me."

"Doesn't take much!" The words shot out of Draco's mouth before he had a chance to think about them. Potter gave him a disgusted look, turned and started walking away.

Regret washed over him and despite his attempt to suppress the word he found himself shouting, "Wait!"

Potter stopped, and turned slowly. "What's the point, Malfoy."

"I'm sorry. Sometimes words just come out of my mouth..." He grinned apologetically. "It's part of my charm."

Harry regarded him closely. Malfoy looked intensely uneasy and it struck him that he was being sincere in his own, unique weird way. He couldn't help the small laugh that built up in him. "Yah, your cruelty always makes you so endearing."

"Now you're just being sarcastic," Draco responded quietly but with a small grin.

"So, aside from being a total git at times, why didn't you accept my help?"

Draco's gaze wandered down to the grass for a moment. "Maybe it was just too embarrassing." He stated in a tone so soft that Harry had to strain to hear him.

"What? My trying to help you?"

Draco's eyes narrowed again as looked into Harry's. "The boggart, you dolt. I know it's just a boggart but seeing my father suddenly..." his voice trailed off.

The brief glimpse into Malfoy's eyes revealed everything to Harry. Even when the words coming out Malfoy's mouth were cruel or sneering, his eyes were so expressive that he could usually tell how he was really feeling. He saw the embarrassment, the fear, and the uncertainty he was experiencing.

It felt so odd thinking of Malfoy as being vulnerable. He softened his tone. "I know how it feels. I spent year three trying to get rid of a boggart that kept turning into a dementor. Draco, it's not real and somewhere in the back of your mind you know that, no matter how frightening it is."

Draco nodded slowly, secretly pleased that Potter had called him by his first name.

"I'll accept your apology if you try some of the things I suggested."

"Why were you trying to help me?" Draco asked reluctantly.

"Well, let's just say seeing the boggart turn into Lucius with the cane he almost killed you with inspired me."

Draco felt incredibly uncomfortable. He hated how he had reacted whenever the boggart turned into his father, but his body turned to ice and an incredible fear shuddered through him. He hated that the others had seen it.

"Friends help each other out."

Draco snorted. "Are we friends?"

"We could be. Once we build up some kind of trust."

Draco looked doubtful. "Do you really think that's possible, given the history between us?"

Harry shrugged as he looked out over the expanse of the Quidditch field.

"How's your head?" Draco asked hesitantly, wondering if Potter still blamed him.

"It's fine. Back to normal, for now at least," Harry responded quietly.

"Was it because of what I said?" Draco inquired.

Harry's eyes met Draco's. "I don't know for sure. I think I got really angry over what you said and that triggered it, but I don't know if it will ever happen again or if I got angry at someone else if it will reoccur," he explained.

Draco's gaze dropped to the grass, his hair falling over his eyes.

Harry asked, "How's your nose?"

Draco glanced up with a slight sneer. "Your bodyguard broke it, but it was healed last night."

Harry nodded; it was then that Draco noticed how pale and tired Potter looked. "Maybe you shouldn't fly so soon after what happened yesterday."

Harry looked at him with disbelief. "Didn't know you cared, Malfoy."

Draco smirked. "I don't care if you crack your skull open, but it would be too pathetic to stomach the Weasel and Hermione crying into their pumpkin juice if you got hurt."

"I guess it's a chance I'll have to take." Harry flew off on his broom shouting back at Draco, "I'll see you later."

Draco shook his head in annoyance and went back to Hogwarts.

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"Ronald Weasley!!! How could you?" Molly Weasley had yanked her son into her office, and she stood before him, fury shooting from her eyes.

Ron, embarrassed and exasperated, shouted back. "He caused Harry to be in pain! He implied it was Harry's fault that Sirius died. You know how badly he already blames himself!"

"Don't you use that tone with me," Molly puffed. "I am well aware that the Malfoy boy has a nasty tongue - Ginny's been telling me that since she stared at Hogwarts - however that was no reason to break his nose. It's a professor's job to hand out punishments, not yours!!!"

Ron took a deep, frustrated breath. "Fine. I'll try not hurt him again."

"You'll do better than that. You'll apologize to him today when you have your special class," Molly stated matter-of-factly as she went and sat behind her desk.

Ron was horrified. "Apologize? To Malfoy? Mum, no way, I can't do that!"

Molly responded with narrowed eyes. "You had better or I will give you a detention on top of the one that Lupin has already given you. If you want to play in the upcoming Quidditch match, I suggest that you apologize, and quickly too."

Ron angrily turned and the office, wishing that his mother was back at the Burrow and not at Hogwarts, making his life miserable.

He felt a little better later when Harry told him and Hermione that Malfoy had apologized.

"My mum's making me apologize to him for breaking his nose," Ron stated morosely.

Hermione sighed. "I know how angry you were at him for what he said. I was too, but Ron, you know that he's a lot better than he used to be. It's hard for him, and I think he was terribly embarrassed by the boggart thing."

"Mione's right, he was," Harry added.

Ron chewed on his lip. "I really don't want to."

"Ron, just think back to the end of December when you found him crying his eyes out in the hallway. You told me you actually felt really bad for him. He's still the same boy, only now his defenses are back up. He still needs all of our help, though," Hermione reasoned.

Ron grinned lopsidedly, "All right. I'll tell him I'm sorry, even though part of me still isn't."

They quietly made their way past Hagrid's cabin to a clearing just outside of the Dark Forest where their secret lesson was to be held. They were careful that no one saw them.

Snape had gone to the clearing early to prepare. Much to his surprise, he found Tonks there already. He nodded to her. She had long blond hair today and her eyes sparkled at him mischievously. For some inexplicable reason, she made him nervous, but he was determined to not let her see that. Teaching apparating was difficult and would require both of their utmost concentration.

"I think we should start out with something basic, perhaps from one tree to another?"

"Sounds good to me Snapey," Tonks replied nonchalantly.

"Do not call me that." Snape glared at her.

"Fine, but at least lighten up! You are always so tense and controlled. They won't learn anything that way," she berated him.

Snape responded, his deep voice laced with resentment. "Certainly Nymphadora. Whatever you say."

"If you call me that again, I will hex you into tomorrow!"

Before Snape had a chance to respond, the four teens showed up.

"Harry, Hermione you come over here, you will be working with me. Ron, Draco you'll be working with Snape," Tonks stated.

As she started to explain the lesson to Harry and Hermione, they were interrupted by yelling from Draco.

Snape, who was in a foul mood from his jarring with Tonks, found anger welling in him. It had all started when Ron went to speak to Draco. "Malfoy, I'm sorry I broke your nose."

Draco's eyes narrowed. "No you're not. That's just a pathetic attempt at an apology, probably because your mother made you. You wish you could have smashed up my face, but even if you had I'd never look as hideous as you!"

"Draco!! What do you think you are doing! Must you constantly shame me with your behaviour?! Accept Weasley's apology and be prompt about giving him one of your own!" Snape snarled in disbelief at Draco's words.

Draco eyes flashed cold fire. "I don't need this!" he responded angrily.

"Perhaps a month's banishment from Quidditch matches and detention with Filch will make you behave!"

"That's not fair! He broke my nose!"

"Stop acting like a petulant child!"

Draco flushed and for a split second an incredible look of hurt flashed through his stormy eyes before the familiar arrogant mask settled again. Without a word, he turned and stiffly headed back towards Hogwarts.

Snape snorted in frustration, trying to keep his anger in check.

Tonks came over to stand beside him. She whispered quietly, "Take a deep breath, calm down and go after him. You just embarrassed the hell out of him in front of the others. He's not a child anymore, even though he may act like it once in awhile. Just talk to him quietly and make him see reason. Don't let him shut you out."

Realizing that what Tonks suggested made sense, he tore after Draco. He finally caught up to him by Hagrid's cabin. He grabbed the furious teen, pinning him up against the wall of the cabin.

"Before you continue on with your tantrum, allow me to say that I am sorry I embarrassed you like that. Please, calm down."

Draco shot daggers at him with his eyes. "Let me go." He tried to break free, but Snape's grip was like steel.

Snape continued to speak in a calm, quiet tone. "Not yet. Why can't you accept Weasley's apology? He made a mistake, as did you."

Draco released an angry breath and looked sour. "I didn't mean to do it, he did."

"He was just trying to protect his friend. He couldn't have known that you didn't mean to hurt Potter at that point. Given your history together, it is not that hard to believe, right?"

Draco's heart was racing. He had expected Snape to be furious with him when he caught him, yet he was talking quietly and even apologized. He truly wanted to learn how to apparate, but he felt like such an outsider sometimes.

Snape squeezed his shoulder. "Let's go back. I'll pair you with Hermione instead."

A slight curl of dread formed in his stomach. Hermione, what would she think of him after what he had said? Had she been able to forgive him like Potter had? Would she be angry for what he had just said to Weasley? He stared stonily at the ground for a few moments before spitting out, "Ok."

Full of apprehension, he walked back alongside Snape.

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"Ron, I know you're angry and you have every right to be, but remember you did break his nose and obviously he's holding a grudge at the moment. Try to be patient, I know you can rise above this," Tonks advised.

"Are they coming back?" Harry asked.

Tonks smiled at him. "I'm betting they will, but let's get started. Apparating is difficult, but not as difficult as other disciplines, like Occlumency for example. It requires a lot of concentration to learn it, but once you have you'll never forget it and it will be like breathing to you."

"How far will we be allowed to apparate today?" Hermione asked, wondering if she could do a quick trip to Hogsmeade.

As if reading her mind, Tonks shook her head. "Not to Hogsmeade. It isn't safe to go there on your own. The furthest you will get today if you master it quickly is to that tree over there. But I warn you, it's not that easy up front."

Harry's mind wandered for a moment as Tonks spoke. If he had known how to apparate last year, he could have immediately gone from the Dark Forest to Grimmauld Place and would have known whether or not Sirius was there.

His sad thoughts were interrupted by Snape and Draco returning. For a split second, Draco made eye contact with him. Harry realized he was very uncomfortable. He resolved to do what it would take to put him more at ease with them. One more person on the side of the light was well worth the effort.