Seamus Finnigan and the Rabid Easter Bunny

Seamus Finnigan and the Rabid Easter Bunny

Seamus put on his favourite shamrock jumper, along with his shamrock socks, and followed Dean down the stairs to the Common Room. It was Easter, so there were no classes. But he wanted to get down to breakfast in time for the morning post, so he could enjoy the delicious toffee eggs his mother always sent.

Lavender was waiting for them in the Common Room. Seamus thought how Mary Sue-like she looked, with her perfect blonde hair, and her perfect lavender dress. He wondered why they were all wearing regular clothes instead of Hogwarts robes, but he didn't ask for fear of the Author's wrath.

"Look, Lavender. I know we're shipped together. But do you have to bloody follow me everywhere?"

"I just wanted to show you Binky, my rabbit. He's an Easter Bunny!" she giggled in a disturbingly perky way, and held up her pet to show him.

"He looks rabid. Look at those red eyes." Seamus made a sour face.

"He does not!" She hugged the rabbit to her, pouting. "He's a sweet Easter Bunny!"

"Right. And I'm the heir of - wait, I am."

"Umm...hang on... didn't Binky die in Book 3?" Dean asked quietly.

They all looked at each other confusedly.

"We'll just say it's Binky Junior," the Author whispered.

"Right. Well, we'd better get down to the Great Hall," Dean suggested, still looking slightly puzzled.

They started toward the portrait door.

"Are you really going to take that thing along?" Seamus demanded.

"Of course! It is Easter."

Seamus rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything else.

Down in the Great Hall, the tables were already covered with all kinds of delicious breakfast foods. Seamus sat down between Dean and Lavender and dug into a stack of pancakes hungrily.

Lavender picked at her muffin. She tried to get the rabbit to eat some, but the rabbit was busy glaring at Seamus.

"That thing looks like the rabbit in that muggle Monty Python cinema. I feel like it's going to leap at me at any minute."

"Oh, don't be silly. Binky is perfectly harmless."

"That's what King Arthur thought. Just look at those nasty big pointy teeth."

The rabbit continued to glare at Seamus through breakfast. At about nine o'clock, the owls arrived with the post.

Seamus was tearing away wrappers when something struck him. The rabbit was gone. Lavender was nibbling some Every-Flavour Beans, and apparently hadn't noticed.

Then he saw it. It was leaping almost in slow motion directly at him, with red eyes glowing demonically.

He hollered and started to duck under the table. But he was too slow, and the rabbit latched onto his neck like a vampire.

"No! Binky! Bad bunny!" Lavender was yelping childishly.

The other Gryffindors gathered around, trying to help Seamus up and to pull the rabbit off of him. But Binky dug his teeth in deeper, and Seamus passed out.

He woke up in the hospital wing several hours later.

"What happened?" he asked Madame Pomfrey, rubbing his neck.

"You were attacked! Lavender's rabbit was really Voldemort in animagus form!"

"You've got to be joking." Seamus rolled his eyes.

"Luckily though, Harry knew what to do. He told Voldemort that he was his son. Voldemort gave up on trying to kill everyone, and now he and Harry are having some quality time together to make up for all those years of animosity."

Seamus looked out the window. Sure enough, there in the courtyard, Voldemort and Harry were playing catch.

"So that's it? He just decided to be good?"

"Hey, it worked for Draco."