Siege of the Sues

"Put your jacket on, Ginny!" Mrs. Weasley's voice somehow carried through the hubbub that was Platform 9 3/4 on September first. Ginny sighed and shrugged on her jacket. "Don't know why she's bothering, we'll have to change into our robes soon enough anyways," Harry heard her mutter as they boarded the train.

Hermione and Ron made their way to the prefect's compartment, calling to first-years and the strange influx of transfer students as they went. Harry found an empty compartment and sat down with Ginny, pushing Hedwig's cage under the seat.

"You don't think there are any of the Sues like the one you guys saw in Diagon Alley for me, do you? Ones that look like me?" she asked nervously.

Harry shook his head. "I don't know. The whole thing scares me, really."

Ginny made a dismissive noise. "Well, unless I see one that's supposed to be me, I'm not going to worry about it."

The door to the compartment slid open, and Ron stuck his head in. "They're everywhere," he whispered nervously. "I'm having a terrible time keeping Hermione's mouth shut. We don't need to set the train on fire." He glanced around the corridor, then stopped. "Well. Who is this?"

A beautiful girl, far surpassing the beauty of almost any girl Harry had ever seen, was slinking down the corridor. "Is there a seat here?" she asked in a sultry voice. "I can't seem to find anywhere to sit..."

"Uh..." Ron shot a look at Harry, who was shaking his head rapidly. "Nnn...what did you say your name was?"

"I'll expect you'll have heard of me," the girl replied. "Virgina. The supermodel?"

Ron frowned. "Can't say that I have..."

"Wait." The girl's eyes narrowed. "You're...you're my brother!" She embraced him. "I haven't seen you in so long, Ronnie!"

"Virginia?" Ginny sputtered. "Look, bitch, if you're gonna impersonate me you'd better get my name right!"

But Ron was now staring at Virginia in a rather different way. "You're trying to be Ginny? That Ginny? My sister?" He started laughing. "Oh, there's no way. There's no way! You have boobs!"

"Ronald!" Ginny yelled.

Ron's entire body was shaking with laughter. "Oh, Ginny, I'm sorry, but really, look at this girl! She's stacked! She can't be you!" Tears rolled from his eyes. tendrils of smoke began curling from Virginia's nostrils.

"Ron..." Harry warned. It was to no avail.

Ron's knees buckled and he fell to the floor, holding his sides as he laughed. "And you're taller than me! And a supermodel! Ginny's no supermodel! There's no way in hell!"

Harry pulled Ron into the compartment and slammed the door shut just in time. The fiery explosion outside rocked the entire car.

It took Ron a few minutes to calm down. "Ginny, I'm sorry, I didn't mean you're not pretty," he said, wiping his eyes. "But that? That's not you. No way."

Ginny sighed. "Yeah. You're right. And, thanks, I guess. I was just telling Harry that I was scared of impostors." She grinned. "And maybe Hermione isn't the only one who needs to watch their mouth."

"I know." Ron grinned back, then pointed out to the corridor where Draco and Pansy were trying their best to put the blazing carpet out. "But I think right now we can all just sit back and have a fine time watching that."