The Tough Guide to Harry Potter

Q
 
Quidditch is something of a formality when Harry plays. We wonder why the houses which are not Gryffindor bother to show up. The graduation of Oliver Wood and other older players makes it possible for Ron to enter the limelight as a Keeper and Ginny as a talented Chaser. And if Harry becomes captain he will work them harder than Oliver Wood ever did. Quidditch is also a reason for Sort of Good Draco to resent Harry’sshallow and useless skills. Hermione never plays the game or even willingly boards a broomstick because she has a deep and abiding fear of heights. Following graduation the less duty-bound types of Harry will play Quidditch in between courting GinnyWeasley. In the Marauders’ times quidditch took on a peculiar and apparently obsolete form. It, evidently, was practiced exhaustively but never played. Remus does not play Quidditch. Not for any lack of talent or will, but because his infirmity would demand an absence from too many of those crucial practices. Sirius is always a Beater. And Peter gets the snacks for the fatigued players. Severus Snape is much too sophisticated for so pedestrian a game as Quidditch, but he is talented on a broomstick.
 
Quills are only important if they are floppy, bizarrely extravagant, atypical, or absent. People who write with peacock feather quills are unreliable. Raven quills signify a Noble Slytherin. Lacking a quill requires you to ask to borrow one, which is a wonderful conversational introduction or excuse for staring blankly at a person. When they tax you regarding your preoccupation you are required to respond with, “Oh! I just need to borrow a quill!” See Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger, Severus Snape, and Draco Malfoy
 
Quills, Sugar are Ron’s favorite candy. They also inspire groan-worthy puns.
 
Quirrel ought to be dead. But tourists should not be surprised when their tour guides rather gratuitously resurrect him. Is it possible they are under the impression that they can improve upon canon?