Bath Robes and Potpourri

"I'm sure they'll love you," Harry told his new girlfriend, Eloise Midgen.

They were really quite the pair, Harry and Eloise. He had beautiful jet black hair; she had dull and dirty brown hair. He had stunning green eyes; hers were a less than shining grey. He had the perfect complexion; her face was, well...just a tad worse than "horrific."

Harry and Eloise were on their way to Number 4 Privet Drive. He wanted Eloise to meet the Dursleys. He truly hoped they approved. After all, he was stuck with them for the next two summers.

Harry would have never dated Eloise on his own accord. Not at all. He was more into girls who enjoyed Quidditch and knew the difference between a Quaffle and a Golden Snitch. Harry liked girls with perfect figures. He liked red-heads with blue eyes.

Eloise was none of these things.

Eloise wouldn't know a what a Quaffle was if it hit her in the head. She was a little bit larger than chubby. She never had red hair or blue eyes.

It was Hermione who set them up, really. She was always bugging Harry and Ron about how Eloise was really a nice person, and they should try talking to her. Harry happened to bump into her in the corridor one day after Transfiguration. He helped her pick up her books. They started making small talk, and it turned into a three hour conversation and a stroll around the lake. Harry ended up asking Eloise out a week after that.

Harry and Eloise walked up to the front door of the Dursley's home. He knocked twice on the large door. There was no answer. He knocked again. They could hear a large thud and a big scream from inside.

"MOM! GET THE DOOR!" Dudley yelled. It seemed as if he fell of the couch.

The front door opened and they walked inside.

"Hello, Aunt Petunia. Hey, Dudley," Harry said, less than cordially, to his aunt and cousin. "This is my new girlfriend, Eloise Midgen."

"Beautiful," Eloise gasped, not looking at her surroundings, but at a particular person in the room.

"Hello, there," Petunia replied apprehensively. "Are you one of those?" she asked in a putrid tone.

"Those? I don't know what those are."

"Yes, she is one of those, and if you have a problem with it, I have no problem with returning Dudley to the swine form!" Harry butted in. Petunia hurriedly raced to the kitchen.

"Harry's got an ugly girl. Harry's got an ugly girl," chanted Dudley. He was lying on the couch, his fat hanging over and nearly touching the floor.

"Well, its one more girl than you'll ever have," Harry said. "I think she's beautiful." He pulled her closer to her.

Eloise followed Mrs. Dursley into the kitchen. She could not take her eyes off Petunia. The way she walked, the way her kitchen shined, the way the chairs were lined up; Eloise loved it all.

"Harry. I'll be right back," Eloise said to Harry after he followed her in. She ran upstairs.

"So, what do you think of her?" Harry asked.

"I think of her the same as I think of you. Do you really need me to explain? It's all your kind. I hate every single one of them."

"Sorry my mum was a witch. I'm sorry that she just happened to be born with magical qualities that you were jealous of. Sorry that I inherited them. Sorry that my mum and dad were murdered. Sorry that I was held at wand point as a baby. Sorry I accidentally got rid of the Dark Lord. Sorry that you're my only living relatives!" Harry ranted.

Petunia had no reply.

"I'm back Harry!" Eloise proclaimed.

Harry turned around to greet his girlfriend. He was shocked by what he saw.

It appeared that Eloise had raided Petunia's closet. They were wearing identical outfits, but in different colors. Petunia had on a purple tank top; Eloise a pale pink one. Petunia wore black athletic shorts; Eloise grey ones. Petunia was wearing her white terry cloth bath robe; Eloise a blue one.

Petunia stared in horror. Eloise picked up a bowl of potpourri off the table and started sniffing it.

"Eloise, what are you wearing?" Harry gaped.

"I want to be just like your aunt!"

That was enough for Harry.

He raced upstairs and pulled out a piece of parchment. He got out his ink and quill and scratched a quick note to Ron and Hermione, both at the Burrow.

Eloise Midgen worships Petunia Dursley!