The Annual Death Eater Beach Trip

References are made to the following, and I do not own the rights to any of them: Doritos, Volkswagen, Wal-Mart, Before He Cheats, and Carrie Underwood's Some Hearts album. Before He Cheats was written by Chris Tompkins and Josh Kear.

"Well, that took a good fifteen minutes off our schedule!" shouted Voldemort as he drove away from a pharmacy. "And those blasted allergy shots are expensive! I do hope you're happy, Draco!"
"Yeah, Draco!" agreed Bellatrix. "Just for that, you can't have any Doritos!"
"Hey, I could have died!" said Draco, whose head was now its normal size again.
"And I could have watched, but nooooooo.... You just HAD to have that stupid shot! You know what? You can't have any mini weenies either!"
"Awwwww...but they're, like, so delectable!"
"Your Aunt Bellatrix is right, dear," said Narcissa sternly. "This is the only way you'll learn not to swell up like a balloon and almost die anymore!"
"Yes, Mother...."
Draco kept quiet as Voldemort, laughing maniacally every time a bug hit the windshield, drove on. After about thirty minutes and fifteen bugs, however, Voldemort became bored.
"I have become bored," said Voldemort. "Let's play a game or something."
"Oooh! Voldypoo, let's play Crucio Buggy!" suggested Bellatrix.
"What the crap is Crucio Buggy?"
"Every time you see a Volkswagen Bug, you have to shout the color of the car and Crucio the person sitting next to you."
"I thought it was 'Punch Buggy'," said Draco.
"Quiet, Draco!" yelled Bellatrix. "Crucio Buggy green! Don't Crucio back!"
Draco writhed in pain, but then suddenly became excited as he spotted another bug outside the window. "Crucio Buggy pink!" he shouted at his father. "Don't Crucio back!"
Lucius screamed in horror as the spell hit him, then caught his breath and exclaimed, "Good one, son!"
"What fun!" said Wormtail after quite a few rounds of the game. "Master, don't you want to join in?"
"No, that's fine, Wormtail. I'm having fun just watching. Muahahahahaha...."
The game ended twenty minutes later when Lord Voldemort's favorite song played on the radio again. The happy mood of the Death Eaters as they sang along to Before He Cheats was broken only by the annoyed face of Severus Snape.
"What's wrong, Greasy?" asked Lucius condescendingly.
Snape glared at Lucius with disdain in his dark eyes. "You know quite well, Lucius, that I despise country music."
"And what exactly do you have against country music?"
Snape hesitated. "I had a rather bad experience back in the 80s. I'd prefer not to discuss it."
"For badness sake, Severus you are such a wet blanket!" With a sweep of his hair, Lucius turned to address Voldemort. "Excuse me, My Lord? There's a Wal-Mart up ahead. Would it be all right if I made a quick stop there? I believe there is something I would like to buy."
"Oh, why not?" said Voldemort. "We're already behind thanks to Draco." He glared into the rear view mirror. "What can five more minutes hurt?"
With that, Voldemort proceeded to pull into the Wal-Mart parking lot and steal a handicapped space from an elderly lady who was about to park there. Lucius got out of the minivan, making sure to shove Snape on his way, and entered the Wal-Mart building. While he was gone, Voldemort and the Death Eaters enjoyed laughing at the expense of the elderly woman as she slowly hobbled to the building from the far side of the parking lot. She tripped on a speed bump once, which resulted in a tremendous burst of maniacal laughter. They were still cackling when Lucius returned carrying a Wal-Mart bag.
"Ha, ha, ha, ha...oh, are you back already, Lucius?" said Voldemort.
"Indeed I am, My Lord," replied Lucius with a smirk, handing Voldemort the bag, "and I believe you will be quite pleased with my purchase."
"Well, we shall see about that. What do we have here......? HOLY CRAP, LUCIUS, YOU ARE FREAKING AWESOME!!!"
"What in badness sake...?" wondered Snape.
"I'll show you!" Voldemort triumphantly held up the content of the Wal-Mart bag: a copy of Carrie Underwood's Some Hearts CD.
"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, I love it!!! Let's totally listen to it now!!!" he screamed.
Snape turned very slowly to Lucius, looking absolutely furious. "You...are...the...worst...person...."
"You're welcome, Sevvy!" said Lucius.
Voldemort clicked the repeat button on the CD player and the Death Eaters sang to Before He Cheats for a very long time, Snape sulking all the while.