The Amazing Illegal Wonder Potion

Chapter 8

Dancing Queen

Draco picked at his breakfast, feeling miserable. Molly Weasley was away on some stupid do-gooder business, so Draco's mother had done the cooking. And superior though his mother was to Mrs Weasley in every other way, she really was a lousy cook.

Although Draco had to admit, it must take a certain kind of talent to burn a bowl of cereal.

He looked up from his burnt cereal when he heard voices in the hallway.

"...Yeah, I told Snape to fuck himself. So what? He can't do anything, term hasn't started yet."

"Still, Harry, you shouldn't have said that, you know he'll just make your life miserable once we are back at school..."

"I really don't see what he can do to me that he hasn't already..."

I can suggest a few things, thought Draco. Then he shuddered, because he remembered that he was the one in danger of having those things done to him.

The conversation broke off when Harry and Hermione entered the kitchen and saw Draco.

"Nice hat, Malfoy," said Hermione, grinning nastily. "Hope they let you wear it to lessons..."

Draco gritted his teeth and said nothing. Instead he turned to Harry, who was looking at him with a puzzled expression on his face.

"What are you looking at, Potter? Never seen a beanie before?"

Harry looked at Hermione, who was still grinning horribly. "What's this all about?"

"Oh, let's just say Draco's got a nasty bit of acne."

"Draco?" said Harry incredulously. "Since when was it 'Draco'?"

He doesn't know, Draco realised. He doesn't get what's going on.

But Harry was quicker on the uptake than Draco thought, because suddenly he lunged, and before Draco could react, pulled off the beanie.

For a moment there was silence. Then, instead of laughing, which was what Draco expected him to do, Harry turned to stare at Hermione.

"Don't look at me like that, Harry."

"Hermione, that looks remarkably like the curse you gave to Marietta. What have you been doing?"

Draco was beginning to enjoy this. Hermione was rolling her eyes at Harry, and Harry was looking scandalised. Potter's a virgin! He can't believe Granger would shag somebody!

But in a moment he realised that he was wrong.

"I can't believe you!" Harry was yelling. "You... you-know-what... with him?"

"Who would you rather I do it with? Go on, who?"

Oh here we go, thought Draco, sniggering. Now it's gonna turn out that he's been lusting after her...

"I don't know! I don't care! But that slimy git? I mean, that is totally disgusting!"

"Hey, wait a minute!" shouted Draco, unable to hold it in. "Are you calling me ugly, Potter?"

"Well, Malfoy, I can understand why Hermione is calling you a lousy shag. What I don't get is why she had to shag you to find that out!"

Draco was really furious now. "Me, a lousy shag? Like you've ever even had a shag, Potter!"

"That's beside the point!"

To Draco's satisfaction, he saw that Harry was going red. Draco grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him close, so their noses were almost touching.

"I'll show you who's a lousy shag, Potter," he hissed.

And with sudden clarity, Draco realised exactly what it was that he wanted.

"Come on, Potter... I dare you to prove me a lousy shag."

Harry once again looked puzzled. "How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

Draco groaned. This boy was so innocent it wasn't even funny.

"Hey, break it up, you two!"

Harry, Draco and Hermione (who had been watching the boys argue with an incredulous grin on her face) all turned to stare at Sirius, who was putting bowls on the table. None of them had noticed him come in.

"I'll explain later, Potter," hissed Draco quietly, so that Hermione wouldn't hear. He gave them both a sneer for good measure, and sat down to finish his breakfast.

What happened next, Draco would never be able to explain. He had just taken a few spoonfuls of his cereal, when Snape entered the kitchen, saying, "I've found a potion that might help you, Draco..."

And suddenly, the dark, gloomy room was full of light - pink and gold and blue and purple, all swirling and flashing. Glitter was falling from the ceiling.

Draco realised that he really, really wanted to dance.

He jumped up. Raising his skirts (because of course he was wearing a skirt, no, a ball gown - a pink one - with sequins on the bodice and a tiara in his hair), he began to twirl around the dance hall, wondering only briefly why he was the only one doing so. Such bores, he thought. Well, I'll show them how it's done.

But something wasn't quite right. Draco frowned, trying to put his finger on it. Of course! There was no music. And you can't dance without music, can you?

Harry, Sirius, Hermione and Snape had backed away from the table. Ron, Ginny and Lupin had all come down for breakfast, and now they were all standing against the walls, watching Draco prance and twirl around the kitchen.

Draco opened his mouth and began to sing.

"Friday night and the lights are low

Looking out for a place to go..."

"Harry. Harry," moaned Ron. "Do you have some omnioculars? I. Have. Got. To. Record. This."

Harry just stared.

"And when you get the chance...

You are the Dancing Queen!!!

Young and sweet, only seventeen!"

And then, just as suddenly as it had begun, the dancing stopped. Draco stood in the middle of the kitchen, breathing hard. He realised everyone was staring at him. He turned on Hermione.

"All right, Granger, I know you did this, I know it was you! What the hell was that???"

Hermione had backed into the wall. "I swear it wasn't me! I don't know what happened! Draco, I..."

And he was off again, only this time he jumped up on the kitchen table. He looked up at the ceiling, screwed up his face in an expression of constipated agony, and...

"At first I was afraid, I was petrified

Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side..."

Sirius sighed. Clearly, the potion still needed some work.