The Magical Twenty-Six

As everyone knows, Neville Longbottom is a chubby kid.

I remember the day he was born.

Okay, I really don't.

But, however, I did know him as a kid. We were quite mean to him you see. We would call him "Lardy Longbottom."

Haha. Okay, it's still funny.

What? Can't a person make up a perfectly fitting name for someone else?

WHO CARES IF IT IS OFFENSIVE!? HMM!?

However, this story is about Lardy Longbottom, not me. It is about his fate.

This story is about the fate of Lardy Longbottom.

The date was June Eleventh, it was snowing outside.

Hey, who's telling the story here? NO ARGUING! If I say there was snow, there was snow. Kapeesh?

------

Neville Longbottom was sitting there with his disgustingly disgusting toad, whose name was Trevor.

"Oh, Trevor," Neville sighed, "no one likes me."

"Cheer up, emo kid," said Hermione Granger, who was dressed as a squirrel.

"What's an emo kid?" Neville asked, for he knew not what an emo kid was.

"Oh, yes, never mind," replied Hermione. She scratched at her but. "Gee, this tail is itchy."

They sat in silence for a few moments.

Hermione looked at Neville. "Aren't you going to ask me why I'm dressed as a squirrel?"

"No."

They sat in silence for a few more moments.

"Well, I'm going to tell you anyway. I'm dressed as a squirrel to protest the unfair treatment of squirrels in the wizarding world. I mean, it's completely awful!" Hermione said.

"What's so awful about it?" asked Neville, he was too depressed to care. No one would talk to him other than this Hermione chick, and she had to be loony.

"Look over there," sighed Hermione, pointing at a shop.

Neville looked at the sign in the window.

Torture School

We practice the Imperious Curse on squirrels!

Join today!

Neville sighed. "Do you have anyone else helping you?" He dearly hoped she didn't.

"Of course, Lardy, I mean Neville! Ron is helping me! OH, RON!" Hermione called.

"I-don't-worship-you!" Ron quickly said. He too, was wearing a squirrel suit. "Oh! Hello, Neville."

"Hi," said Neville halfheartedly. "I see you're in on this whole squirrel business."

"Of course he is!" twittered Hermione. "IS THAT A FUR TRADER? I HAVE RED PAINT!" She madly dashed off toward the "fur trader."

"Why are you helping her?" asked Neville. "It all seems a bit ridiculous."

"I like her a lot, you know that," explained Ron. Neville nodded his head. "Besides, what could go wrong?"

"Hello and welcome to the Torture School field trip!" said a cheerful sounding lady.

"IMPERIO!" shouted a voice. "Haha! Get me a ham sandwich, squirrel!"

"Must...get...ham...sandwich..." said Ron. He went to cross the street, only to be hit by a tractor-trailer truck.

Neville flinched. Good thing that would never happen to him.

Suddenly, a flying tractor trailer truck came flying out of nowhere and hit Neville Longbottom in the chest. "OH! THE IRONY!" cried the lardy lad, and thus so, he died.

------

That is what happened to that Lardy Longbottom kid. Everyone mourned his loss. Even Draco Malfoy confessed that he had secretly liked the chubby kid. Guess Neville had more friends than he thought.

As for Ron, no one noticed, for they thought he was a squirrel.

Even Hermione thought he was a normal squirrel, despite the fact he was six feet tall. And she's supposed to be smart?

As you all can see, that Lardy Longbottom kid had an unusual fate.

Speaking of "unusual" have you read the author's one shot called "An Unusual Story?"

Well, you should!