The Magical Twenty-Six

Fred felt funny.

One could counter with, "Fred's always funny."

True, but this wasn't that kind of funny.

He felt all tingly and such.

No, it wasn't love.

No, he wasn't going to barf.

He was simply testing a treat called "Fairytale Fudge," which would make the consumer feel as if they were a fictional character from a children's book.

"How do you feel?" asked George.

"Like stealing from the rich and giving to the poor!"

"Oh, then you must be Robin--"

Fred bounded out the door.

"--Hood," George finished. He sighed, who knew what kind of mess Fred would get into. "Why does this always happen to me?"

George went into the back room, where Professor Trelawney was waiting for him.

"Hello, my dear," George cooed. "I have been waiting for this all week."

"Yes," she replied, "My want is great."

"Hello, I am Ryan Seacrest and this is American Idol," said the television.

"I LOVE THIS SHOW!" screamed George and Trelawney.

"I know who'll win!" said Trelawney.

"SHUT YOUR FACE! Don't ruin it again!" George snapped.

"Gee, sorry..." replied Trelawney.

"Besides, you were wrong last time."

"Then how did I ruin it?"

"SHUT UP!"

------

Out in the streets, RobinHood!Fred spotted Hermione. Hermione had consumed five too many Firewhiskeys. "Hello, fair maiden. How would you like to take a ride on my noble steed?" Fred asked.

"Is the supposed to be perverted?" questioned Hermione. She hiccupped loudly.

"..."

"If so, then YES!" she tackled Fred.

------

"Fred, don't leeeeave," Hermione whined before barfing.

"Yes, mother, I'll take the cow to the market and trade it for some magic beans."

"What...?"

JackandtheBeanstalk!Fred swooped Hermione up off the ground and ran down the street yelling, "COW FOR SALE!"

It was at that moment that Fred spotted Neville Longbottom, who just so happened to be eating fried beans on a stick. "I'll trade you!" Fred screamed emphatically. He shoved the drunken Hermione on Neville and snatched the beans.

"I need to plant these, GIVE ME YOUR SHOE!" Fred shouted, snatching the shoe off of the next person who walked by him.

This person happened to be Harry Potter. And since Harry Potter is a wimp, he shrieked like a girl.

This sudden shriek scared the crap out of Fred, who quickly threw the beans on a stick. Unfortunately for the next person who was walking by, it speared them in the throat and the fell to the ground.

That person was Ron Weasley.

"Hey, Fred," said Harry. "I'm pretty sure you just killed your little brother."

"That is my brother," replied Fred.

"Oh, well," Harry and Fred said in unison.

"You want to get some candy?" asked Fred.

"Sure," said Harry.

"You know, Gretel, you're pretty cool."

"Gretel?"

"Yes. You are the Gretel to my Hansel. That's why we are going to eat candy. Why do you look so shocked?"

"I'm trying to figure out how you figured out my real first name."

"Don't worry about it." Hansel!Fred took Gretel!Harry's hand in his.

And they lived happily ever after.