The Magical Twenty-Six

Albus Dumbledore was not the type to get angry. In times of peril he maintained the coolest composure. When everyone around was running about like chickens with their heads cut off, Albus would gently try to calm everyone down. He was the voice of reason to many. He was loved and respected.

However, one event just so happened to get under his skin. That thing just so happened to be Ronald Weasley. That boy had to be as dumb as a brick... or dumber.

Now, why would Dumbledore focus all this anger and rage on a sixteen-year-old boy?

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It all started on a Saturday. Albus was merrily riding on his ultra-super-spiffy broom over the Quidditch pitch. All was well.

Ronald Weasley also happened to be flying about that day. Unfortunately for Dumbledore, Ron sucked at flying.

"AHHHH! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! LOOK OUT, DUMBLEDORE!" Harry Potter screamed from the stands. Harry had been "supporting" Ron's flying efforts. Everyone other than Ron knew that Harry was actually laughing at Ron's inability to fly in a straight line. However, during his folly, Harry did not know that Ron's shitty flying skills could endanger the life of his favorite Headmaster. "RON! DON'T KILL DUMBLEDORE! HE'S THE ONLY HEADMASTER WE HAVE!!!"

Now, I know what you are thinking. You're thinking, "Well, there's Harry and Ron, so where's Hermione?"

Okay, so maybe you weren't thinking that. But just so you know, Hermione was currently engrossed in the biggest non-fiction book the world had ever seen. It was a book about house-elves and it just so happened to be fifty-three million, two hundred and fourteen thousand and three pages. She happened to be reading this on that day, so she wasn't paying any attention to Harry's mindless screaming. She just assumed he was filled with teenage angst again.

"ALJFLKD!" screamed Dumbledore, who, at the sight of a broom-riding, swerving Ron, peed himself.

Ron unfortunately had not heard any of this yelling or seen any of this peeing because he was thinking about Hermione. Why? Ronald loved her with all of his body and soul. Why? Because Ron heard she wore a My Little Pony bra. Ron did love those ponies.

But anyway, I digress. Ron had not heard Harry's fervent warnings, leading Ron into running face-first into Albus. A giant mushroom cloud appeared at the sight of the collision.

"Damn," said Harry, flinching. "That had to hurt!"

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And it had hurt. It had hurt a lot. The effects of the accident had scarred Dumbledore for life. Poppy Pomfrey had tried everything she could to save it, but it was impossible. Albus would never forget the mourning faces that had appeared by his bedside.

Albus Dumbledore's precious beard had been lost.

Albus ran his hands over his head in grief and anguish and...ANGER.

He would get Weasley back for what he had done. He would, or his name wasn't ALBUS DUMBLEDORE.

And his name was Albus Dumbledore, so you know he was telling the truth.

Five days later Ron Weasley vanished, never to be seen or heard from again.

Harry Potter still swears to this day that Draco Malfoy did it.

Hermione Granger is writing a novel about the incident.

Albus Dumbledore, however, knows exactly what happened. Will he ever tell his secret?

No, but he will say that his pet pterodactyl had a nice lunch the day Ronald Weasley disappeared.