The Diary

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Chapter Forty-Three*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*In the End, the Dust Settles*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was dark and the wind blew cold in late November. The fresh snow crunched under the weight of each foot that stood in the secluded fields near the Riddle house in Little Hangleton as they studied each other.

"Nott," Malfoy whispered in disgust.

"Report?" Potter whispered back.

"He's a recent escapee of Azkaban, sir," Jonathan Quinn answered, "He was one of the DEs that Covington turned in."

"I knew that," Harry sighed, "I meant the other report."

"There's two dozen at most, Harry," Ron whispered, "a dozen at the least. Can't pick out anything that would signify a commander."

One of the Death Eaters removed his mask. "Welcome, Mister Potter and associates," Timothy Nott greeted from the shadows of his Death Eaters' garb. He stood in front of the army of newly reformed Death Eaters, with his face exposed to the Order of the Phoenix.

"Are you the leader, Nott?" Harry shouted back.

Cold laughter erupted from behind Nott who smiled at the sound of it. The Order and Aurors tightened the grip on their already drawn wands.

"The leader you seek is me," she said.

Harry recognized the voice instantly. His whole body went rigid and his eyes went wide with disbelief. It was same voice that haunted his dreams and even his waking moments for the last ten or so years of his life. How many times had he wished, over the years, to truly hear that voice once again?

"Kali," he whispered.

Those close enough to hear him were stunned. They looked at Harry Potter with astonished expressions. Another laugh peeled out of the now forefront Death Eater. All attention was drawn to her as a pale hand reached up and pulled the mask covering her face off. She shook off her hood and looked directly at Harry with a smile tainted with mal intent.

"Surprised?" she asked sarcastically. Her eyes gleamed in the moonlight as red as ever. "I have been waiting a long time for this, Potter!"

Words escaped him. Every time some coherent thought passed by his conscious mind, it was gone a split second later.

"Speechless still?" Kali asked aloofly, "Perhaps this will loosen your tongue." She snapped her fingers. "Covington!" Another masked Death Eater separated themselves from the group. "Show Mister Potter your pretty face." She reached up and removed her mask and looked mournfully up at Harry. "Still nothing?" the Heiress asked.

She snapped her fingers once more and Kay Covington pushed her cloak opened to reveal a scared and shaken little boy clutching to her like life itself.

"Thomas!" Harry yelled.

"A reaction finally."

"Let him go, Kali. If there is any good in you..."

"Good?" she laughed, "Wake up you stupid git. I was never on your side! My grandfather was right. The blood has been weakened by letting our kind breed with the like of mudbloods."

"Kay let him go... please let him go," Harry pleaded, "He's just a boy."

In response, Kali held Thomas by the shoulder and use her other arm to point her wand at his head. "What are you going to do, Harry?" Kali asked.

He was frozen in place, as was everyone else. He stared at the scene in front of him when he noticed a slight movement. Kay's wand moved slightly, its new trajectory was the Heiress herself. With a swoosh of fabric, Thomas was once again hidden under Covington's cloak and a curse was flying towards Kali. She dodged the curse with ease and then all hell broke loose.

All at once Death Eaters and the Order were battling for their lives. Curses, hexes and fists were flying everywhere. Harry pushed through the human sea in an attempt to locate his former wife. He could hear her voice as she taunted Kay and Thomas. He pushed with more determination as he heard his son shriek. With one last shove he came to a clearing of sorts, just in time to see Kay get hit with a particularly nasty curse that sent her flying several feet back. Thomas was left unprotected and alone in front of his mother. Her wand was steadily pointed at him as he whimpered and crawled away from the approaching figure.

"Familia.... Famila Munimentum..." he stammered to no avail.

"No use delaying the inevitable," she informed him.

Harry ran as fast as he could but he was still too far away. "Thomas!" he yelled out.

Kay shook her head and cleared the last few cobwebs from her head. She shook it clear one more time and looked up. Kali was advancing on the prone figure of Thomas. She got up and made a run for it.

"Avada," Kali began. Kay pushed forward harder, as did Harry. "Kedavra." Just before the last syllable left her lips, Kay jumped in front of the curse meant for Thomas Potter.

A bright light burst forth as the killing curse hit Kay. The light was so blindingly bright that everyone had to cover their eyes. In an instant it was gone again and all attention was drawn back to its origin. Harry looked back to find his son still shaking wildly with fear. Mentally, Harry sighed with relieve. His son, his world was still alive. He looked to the spot where Kay Covington, his former flame, was standing and prepared himself to see her crumpled, lifeless form, but he didn't. Instead he found the woman standing, her arms still spread out in a show of protection. Only... it wasn't Kay. It was Kali.

She was breathing heavily. Her eyes set in determination. "I. Won't. Let. You. Hurt. Him," she said slowly, before collapsing to the ground.

Harry, and nearly everyone else, looked to the spot that the Heiress was once standing to discover another enigma. It was not Kali who stood there now. Instead it was now Kay Covington. She too was breathing heavily. She looked befuddled and she soon fell to the ground unconscious. The audience to the event was speechless and stunned into utter silence.

"Kay!" Tim's shout pierced the silence. He ran to her limp body and held her close. "Kay, wake up," he asked her desperately, "Please, luv, wake up." When she made no response he picked her up and faced Harry. "Are you happy now, Potter?" Tim cried. "When will you self-elected 'do gooders' finally realize that we are human too?" He looked down at his wife then back up at Harry. "When will you realize that we love and that we have families? When will you realize that just maybe we haven't decided on this path? When will you realize that we could have been forced into it?" And with a 'pop' he and Kay were gone.

For a moment, no one moved and then everything did. Death Eaters scrambled to escape and Aurors rushed to capture them. A hand came to rest on Harry's shoulder as he watched his son cradle his wife's lifeless body in his small arms. The hand squeezed his shoulder as a sign of comfort. "We should get her to a hospital," Remus told him.

Harry nodded and walked over to his son. He knelt down on the other side of the body.

"Is this real, Dad?" he asked. "Is this Mum? Will she live?"

He gathered Kali into his arms and stood up. "I don't know, Thomas. I am going to take her to the hospital. Go with Remus. He'll take you home." With a 'pop' he was and his mother was gone.

Remus knelt down beside his grandson and rubbed his slouched back with one hand. "Let's go home, Thomas, let's go home."

~Private Room, St. Mungo's~

Whoosh. Wheeze. Whoosh. Wheeze. Whoosh. She didn't know when she became distinctly aware of her surroundings or when this odd pattern of loud sounds began to occur. She looked around but only saw blackness. *My eyes are closed,* she thought. With all her might she tried to open her eyes, something she didn't appreciate till she couldn't do it.

"When they stood in front of her cage, gazing silently in at her, the unicorn thought bitterly, Their eyes are so sad."

A voice, she thought. It was so loud. Concentrate on it...

"How much sadder would they be, I wonder, if the spell that disguises me dissolved and they were left staring at a common white mare?"

So sleepy... so very tired... she thought.

"The witch was right- not one would know me. But then a soft voice, rather like the voice of Schmendrick the Magician, said inside her, But their eyes are so sad."

The voice faded into nothingness as she too fell into the darkness. Sometime later she heard the voice again. Sounds familiar, she thought.

"It was long that the unicorn stood by Prince Lir before she touched him with her horn. For all that her quest had ended joyously, there was weariness in the way she held herself, and a sadness in her beauty that Molly had never seen."

Sounds familiar so familiar. The Last Unicorn, yes, my favorite book, Kali realized.

"It suddenly seemed to her that the unicorn's sorrow was not for Lir but for the lost girl who could not be brought back; for the Lady Amalthea , who might have lived happily ever after with the prince."

But the voice... Dad? She wondered.

"The unicorn bowed her head, and her horn glanced across Lir's chin as clumsily as a first kiss."

It was, she thought happily. "Dad," came a weak whisper from the still form. The voice stopped. It was waiting, she surmised. Gathering her strength she tried again, harder. "Dad..." She cracked her eyes open then cried out in pain. "Too bright..." she whimpered. The lights went off instantly and she could feel her hand get picked up in her father's rougher ones.

"Kali, oh thank Merlin you're awake," he told her.

"Quiet, too loud." She opened her eyes to see her father outlined in dim moonlight. She smiled slightly; she only had so much energy. "Thanks."

Remus squeezed her hand gently. "I was so worried, Kali." He kissed her hand.

"How long..." She pause a moment. Her thoughts muddled for a moment. "How long have I been unconscious?"

"Almost six months," he answered.

"Six months!" she yelled. She cried out in pain again and covered her ears.

The door to the room opened and a doctor walked in. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"She woke up, Susan, and she grabbed her ears," Remus answered.

"Oh," she walked swiftly to the whimpering Kali and placed her hand on the woman. "Kali, what's wrong?" she asked calmly.

"Too loud... too loud."

"I see... Kali, listen to me. You are experiencing a side effect from a long term transfiguration. You are not use to your own body right now and you will be going through a difficult time while getting reacquainted with your heightened senses."

Kali nodded but could not calm down.

"What's wrong with her?" Remus asked franticly.

"She's in shock," the medi-witch said quietly. She muttered a spell under her breath and Kali fell back into a sleepy trance again.

More time passed and she found herself waking up, again. She raised her hand to her head and sighed. It was far easier this time around she realized.

"Morning," Harry's voice greeted her.

The light was dimmed and his voice was soft. "How long was I out for this time?"

"About a week. What do you remember?"

"Dad was reading my favorite book," she recalled, "and then everything got so loud and Doctor Bones came and did something. She made me go asleep."

"Quinn," he corrected. He noticed her confused look, one that he had been so fond of in their youth. "Jon married her two years after... after you went away."

"Oh," she said simply.

"Are you really her?" he asked finally. "Are you really Kali?"

"I think so." She reached up and touched her forehead again. "Everything's so cloudy, so muddled. I... I remember before. When things were happy and I remember when they weren't."

"What else do you remember?" he asked.

"Kay, I remember a spell she cast; a bright light then nothing. Then," she paused to think, "then I was Kay. I remember everything I did." Her eyes grew wide and she stared at Harry in horror, "Oh Merlin, Harry, I'm so sorry. Oh bloody hell, I'm so sorry, Harry." He didn't say anything, but he broke their eye contact. "I didn't know, Harry. I didn't remember about us."

"Stop," he whispered.

"I'm sorry about Tim. I'm..." she sobbed.

"Shut up! Just shut up!" he yelled at her. He got up and smacked a plant off the self. The pot shattered against the wall and door.

Kali's bottom lip began to quiver. She couldn't recall a time when Harry had had a somewhat violent outburst. He was usually able to keep a cool head about most matters. He leaned against a wall, his back towards her. "H... Harry?"

He began to hit his head against the wall. "Now I'm the one who's sorry," he sighed.

She laughed uneasily, "What a pair we are."

"Yeah." They fell into a comfortable silence just as they were.

"When will it start?" she suddenly asked.

"What?" he asked in return.

"When will the tests start?" He turned around and stared at her. "When will the Aurors start interrogating me?"

"We just did."

"But I wasn't even given Veritaserum."

Harry pulled a small vial from his robe pocket. "I know. I didn't think it was necessary."

"Perhaps you should," she said calmly, "at least so that you can write it in your reports." He seemed reluctant to hand her the vial. "Harry, give it to me." He did and she gave herself one dose. "I still trust you, Harry."

She handed back the potion and he pocketed it. Harry sighed deeply then asked, "What is your full name?"

"Kali Lillian Potter," she answered, "nee Lupin."

Harry let out the breath that he didn't realize that he'd been holding. "Where have you been the last ten years?"

"Lots of places, I think." She took a moment to clear and sift through her thoughts. "Everything besides the recent stuff is all so... fuzzy. But I remember Hogwarts, it's clearer than anything else, even before the switch."

"I thought you were dead," he told her, "If I had known you weren't I would've never began anything thing with Kay."

"I know, Harry, but it was me still," she told him. He walked over and buried his face in her chest. Kali became rigid as his arms encircled his waste as best he could. She slowly wrapped her arms around him and rested her hand on his head. She ran her fingers through his unruly black hair. "It's ok, Harry, everything will be ok," she whispered.

Harry left soon after and Kali fell asleep again. She awoke a few hours later to see her dad watching her. "Hullo Dad."

"Hullo, Kali." He ran a hand over her hair and smiled. "Sleep well?"

"Yes, that conversation with Harry was a little strenuous."

"I can imagine," he said, "He is very excited. He can't wait to take you back to Godric's Hollow."

"I don't want to go back there," she said quietly, "I want to go home with you, Dad."

"Why?"

"I'm not her, Dad. I'm not the same girl Harry married and I'm not the same woman that I was before I left," she explained. "That Kali died a decade ago. I'm different now and I don't even know who I am anymore."

"Kali..."

"It's true, Dad. Kali Potter died a long time ago," she told him, "I'm Kali Lupin again and, honestly, I don't know if I can be her again either. Who am I?"

A tear fell from his eyes and he stoked his thirty-five year old daughter's hair. "We'll make arrangements to take you back to the manor as soon as Doctor Quinn approves it."

"Thanks, Dad."

He stood and kissed her forehead. "I'll let you rest now," Remus whispered before leaving.

Just before she started to count the hundredth unicorn to jump over a fence, she was very bored and not every sleepy, another knock came from the door. She pushed herself up to a sitting position and fixed the blankets around her. "Come in," Kali called.

The door creaked open and deep sapphire blue eyes appeared in the gap between the door and its frame. "Mum?"

The throat tightened against her will and words seemed to escape her so she simply nodded. In an instant, the young boy flew into the room and launched himself at her. He held her tight and cried onto her hospital pajamas.

"Let it all out, Tom," she whispered as tears began to fell from her eyes.

He lifted his head and glanced around the room for the first time. "This isn't a normal hospital room," he observed between sniffles.

"No, it's not," Kali agreed, "It's one of the perks of being rich and famous."

He shifted his weight and sat down next to her on the large full sized bed. She studied his face and wondered how, even though she was Covington, she didn't know that this was her son. He had her eyes and his father's features and an impish Marauders' grin. Yes, there was mischief gleaming in the boy's eyes and pranking ran in his blood. All that aside, weren't mothers suppose to have some inexplicable bond with their children? If so, she didn't feel it. All she felt was an overwhelming love for the boy, stronger and deeper than she had ever felt.

"Are you feeling ok?" he asked.

She smiled, "Yes, I feel much better. Shouldn't you be a Hogwarts?"

He shook his head no. "School ended two weeks ago. I've... I've brought my grades with me." He dug into his pocket and pulled out a folded, and slightly crumpled, piece of parchment.

Kali gladly accepted and unfurled it. "These grades are fantastic!" she praised. "They're far better than your father's grades. He wasn't a very, oh how should I put this, focused student and he was atrocious at potions."

"What about your grades?" he asked.

"You are doing better than I did as well. You're on your way to becoming the Head Boy! Just like your father."

He beamed at her feeling very proud. "I can't wait till you come home with us! I can show you Bandit and my chocolate frog cards and my broom..." he rattled off.

Her smile faltered. "Tom, I'm... I'm not going back home to Godric's Hollow."

In an instant his once joyous appearance soured into a look of pain and hurt. "W...W... Why?" he asked.

"I want to go home with my dad, your grandfather," she explained.

"Why?" he asked again.

"Because," she began, "I need to remember how to be me again, Tom. I... I don't remember how to be a wife and I don't know how to be a mother to a young boy."

"But you can learn!"

"I can, but I have to remember who I am first." Tears began to fall from Thomas's eyes and Kali used her thumb to gently wipe it away. "We'll still see each other tons! I just have to put my life back together. I know this is difficult for you, Tom, and I wish you never had to go through this but you have to be strong, for me and for your father." He nodded and then hugged her tightly. He yawned loudly. "Tired?" she asked. He nodded again. "Lay down then."

He laid down and rested his head on her shoulder and cuddled against her side under the sheets. "Can you read to me?" he asked in a very childlike voice.

Seeing the book her dad had brought in, she picked it up and opened it to the first page. "The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle, chapter one..."

Harry stood in the doorway and watched as his wife read to their son. He had heard most of the conversation and it had hurt him to find out that she was not returning to Potter Manor, but he had understood her choice. She needed time to heal and he was patient. He could wait and he knew he could wait for her.

"Always and forever, Kali," he whispered before closing the door softly behind him and leaving them alone.

Not the End but the Beginning