Shades of Lavender

Chapter two: The Boy Who Lived To Be Clueless

Lavender woke early the next day. Suddenly, everything seemed hugely amusing. "Have happy dreams?" Parvati laughed. Hermione glared at them.

Lavender noticed that Hermione didn't look at Snape in Potions that morning. Especially when he began to teach them how to recognise the difference between oxydation and réduction.

His lip curled into its usual sneer. He glared around his silent and, mostly, trembling class. Although in Lavender and Parvati's case it was trembling with laughter. "Normally, I would never demean myself or my students in this manner. However, the headmaster -" he seemed to say headmaster like most people said 'the Dark Lord' "- has suggested this acronym as an effective way to remember what is being oxydised and réduced."

Lavender looked up from her star chart. An acronym!

"Now," Snape said, looking and sounding bored and irritable. "What is another name for a lion?" He flicked his hand and a cartoon lion appeared on his board.

"LEO!" the Gryffindors chorused. Draco Malfoy glared in their general direction. Harry glowered back.

"He's so hot and brooding," Parvati whispered, and Lavender knew that she didn't mean Malfoy.

"And what does a lion say?" Snape asked.

"RRROOOAAARRR!" Lavender and Parvati yelled.

The class was silent.

Snape painstakingly wrote G-E-R up on the blackboard.

Lavender raised her hand. "But lions don't say that."

Snape rolled his eyes heavenward. "The point, Miss Brown, is that..."

"You could make it G-R-R. That would make sense too," Parvati put in helpfully.

Snape seemed to be fighting the urge to hex them. His left hand was gripping his wand so tightly that his knuckles were whiter than bone.

"What I don't understand," Lavender said in a loud whisper, "Is why the lion looks so unhappy."

"He could have been a happy lion," Parvati put in, in an even louder whisper.

Snape seemed at loss for words. "Gah!" He yelled ineloquently, and stormed out of the classroom, robes billowing behind him.

"Does he have a wind charm on those robes?" Lavender asked as Pansy Parkinson and Farrah McGavin stalked over.

"What's wrong with you?" Farrah asked. Lavender felt that this was a slightly unfair question. Farrah was about the height of Parvati's eight-year-old sister, Preema. She had a rather unfortunate mullet and a distinct lack of personal hygeine.

"Back off," Harry Potter said from across the class. Parvati beamed. "At least they make this class amusing, even if they are stupid and immature." Parvati didn't look so pleased.

Before anything could happen, Snape returned. Farrah and Pansy slunk back to their desks, glowering. "Miss Patil, Miss Brown. Go see the Headmaster immediately," Snape barked.

Parvati and Lavender got to the gargoyles flanking the headmaster's office before they realised that they didn't know the password.

"Should we go back?" Lavender asked.

"No," Parvati said. "We'll work it out."

"What would you be if you were a password?" Lavender asked Parvati.

"Dunno." Parvati thought for a moment. "A Blood-flavoured lollypop?"

The gargoyles sprang apart. Parvati grinned. "Lucky guess."

"Yeah," said Lavender. Like Hell, she thought.

Dumbledore looked up as they peered around the door. "Come in," he said, looking down his crooked nose and smiling. They came in.

Lavender noticed the Sorting Hat on a shelf and shivered slightly. She didn't like remember her own sorting. "Now, Professor Snape tells me that you have been terrorising his class."

"I'd hardly call questioning his method of teaching 'terrorism'," Parvati said hotly. Lavender shuddered. Sometimes Parvati even scared her.

"According to Professor Snape," Dumbledore said, raising an eyebrow. "You were immature and deliberately disruptive of his class and have been since term started."

"He deserves it," Lavender said. "Have you heard how he teaches? He's a bully -"

"- And he's tyranical," Parvati put in.

"He made Neville Longbottom cry last year."

Dumbledore raised a hand and they fell silent. "Please, just behave yourselves in his class."

Lavender sighed and Parvati rolled her eyes. "We'll behave if he does," Parvati said.

Dumbledore looked stern. "I hoped this wouldn't happen. You two have been a disaster just waiting to happen since you got into NEWT Potions."

"We're just not going to take any of his cr...narrow-minded bullying and favoritism anymore," Parvati said. Lavender noticed the Parvati's cheeks were flushed, a sure sign that she was furious.

"Then write letters of complaint, talk to your head of house. Do not behave in an immature manner that disrupts your classmate's learning." Dumbledore looked at them firmly. "I don't want to see you in here again for an offense of this manner. You can go back to class now."

"Yes sir," Parvati and Lavender chorused.

"Stupid git," Lavender muttered as they left the office. "Just because we have joie de vivre."

"I heard that," Dumbledore said. Lavender turned around, horrified. Dumbledore was looking at her, an amused expression on his lined face.

"Sorry sir," Lavender said and hightailed it from the office, leaving Dumbledore behind chuckling.

*

The Room of Requirement was very crowded that night. Last year the Dark Lord had officially returned and so more and more people wanted to join the DA. Harry was having to make an age restriction on joining. Lavender liked being in the DA. It was good for her extra-curricular activities, it was often a very social occasion and Harry was a much better teacher than Professor Delacoeur.

Granted, Professor Delacoeur could have been a better teacher if she hadn't had to repeat everything several times. The boys could not stop slavering. It was a little pathetic really, although Lavender had to admit that she would probably not be the most attentive listener if Seb Irving from 'The Trolls' taught classes.

Harry blew on his whistle. "Right. Welcome back for a new year. Has everyone signed up?" There was a general murmur of assent. "In an attempt to let you all get to know someone else, Hermione and I will be pairing everyone up."

Parvati squeezed Lavender's hand and she felt her throat constrict. "Harry wouldn't be using this as a chance to matchmake?" Parvati whispered. "I really hope not. Harry seems to think I'm attracted to Dean. Like that'd ever happen."

Hermione was coming towards them. She had a smug smile on her face. Lavender groaned silently. Surely she wasn't going to pair her with...

"...Zacharias Smith, Lavender," Hermione said, grinning in the self-satisfied way she had perfected over the years.

"Thanks so much, Hermione," Lavender muttered. Zacharias looked mildly amused as she moved over to join him. She noticed that Parvati had been paired with Dean.

"Harry, the boy who lived to be clueless," she muttered.

Zacharias laughed. "I know. It's amazing how dense he can be."

"Do you even know what I'm talking about?" Lavender asked, confused.

"Parvati's blatant crush on our hero, I presume," Zacharias said. "It's hard to miss. She flirts with him at every possible occasion and," he said, watching Parvati shoot flowers out of her wand straight at Harry, "I notice that tonight is no exception."

"She's not that obvious," Lavender said indignantly. "And Harry's just about the only person here who hasn't lusted after her at some point."

Zacharias raised an eyebrow but before he could say anything, Harry blew his whistle again. "Right, now that you all have partners, we're going to try Patronus charms again. Only a few people succeeded in this last year so we'll give it another go. Does everyone know the charm?" They all nodded. "Great! I'll come around and have a look at what you're doing."

"You want to go first or should I?" Zacharias asked.

"Can you actually do it?" she said. "Because I'd rather not be shown up by you, thanks so much."

"I get wisps of silver but nothing else," Zacharias admitted. "You can start if you want."

"Alright." Lavender readied herself and searched for a happy memory. The problem was that so many of them were tainted by her heart beat telling her "It's never going to happen". Finally, she selected one. She shook her head and tilted her chin higher than was probably necessary in an attempt to look strong. "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

A wisp of silver puffed from the end of her wand and vanished. Lavender fell over. "Bugger," she shouted, as her shoe caught on her robes and ripped them. Zacharias smirked.

"Alright," Lavender huffed. "You try. Prat," she added quietly, still sitting on the floor.

Zacharias took a deep breath and thought for a moment. "EXPECTO PATRONUM!" he yelled, brandishing his wand. Lavender giggled when a faint silver cloud shot out from his wand. "At least I didn't fall over," Zacharias snapped.

"Well, I never claimed to be co-ordinated," Lavender said unabashedly. "Let's just watch everyone else for a while. I can't be bothered standing up."

"I bet your patronus is a sloth," Zacharias muttered, but he sat down beside her.

"And I bet yours is a skunk but I'm not saying anything, am I?" Lavender snapped back.

Zacharias ignored her comment. "Oh, look! Ginny Weasley just created a patronus!"

"Now I feel really inadequate," Lavender said. "What was it?"

"Some sort of animal," Zacharias said.

"Wow, and that told me such a lot."

"You're really sarcastic, did you know that?" Zacharias said, smiling.

"No I didn't. Thank you for opening my eyes to that desperately important issue," Lavender said, well aware that for the past ten minutes they had done nothing but exchange sarcastic remarks. "You are too. Quite unbecoming for a Hufflepuff."

"So now you think you know me?"

"I never claimed anything of the sort," Lavender said, laughing. "I don't know why I'd want to know you."

"But I'm so witty and you're desperately attracted to me," Zacharias said. He sounded like he was challenging her.

"'Fraid not, hun." Lavender turned her gaze to Parvati and Dean. "My heart belongs to another."

Zacharias followed her gaze. "What, Parvati? I wouldn't have thought she'd be your type." He sounded like he was joking but Lavender sensed there was something more to that comment than the outward appearance suggested.

"So, how's it going with you and Sarah Frost?" She asked, changing the subject. Sarah was an Hufflepuff fifth year who was more than a little into Zacharias.

Zacharias scowled. "How do you know about that?"

"Everyone knows about it."

"Bloody girls. Gossiping all the time," he grumbled. "Look, for the last time, Sarah and I aren't going out, never have been and never will. There was just that one unfortunate incident in the Charms classroom -"

"- Where she cornered you and starting snogging you like mad," Lavender put in helpfully.

"Exactly."

"And you couldn't possibly have pushed her away because it's only polite," Lavender suggested.

Zacharias gave her a dirty look. "More to the point, she's very strong."

"Right," Lavender said, "I'll keep that in mind if I ever have a run in with her."

"You should. Anyway, you can tell Radio Patil that nothing is going on between me and Sarah bloody Frost. There's no chemistry, no snogging sessions in the Charms classroom -"

"- Except that once."

"And there is certainly never going to be a future Mrs Sarah Smith." Zacharias had little pink splotches on his cheeks and his voice was getting louder and louder.

"Pity," Lavender said. "It's very alliterative."

Zacharias ignored her. Harry blew the whistle and they were all quiet again. Parvati looked over and pulled a face at her. "Well done, most of you," he said, looking pointedly over at Lavender and Zacharias. "Several people have been able to successfully conjure up a corporeal patronus. Congratulations to Ginny, Ernie and Susan. Since it's the first practice, we've got some food for a bit of a party." He pulled a cloth off the table. "Help yourself."

Lavender made a bee-line for Parvati and Dean who were chatting animatedly. They actually got on really well and Dean was the sweetheart of the Gryffindor sixth years. "So Vati," Lavender said, putting her hands over Parvati's eyes. "Are you and Dean going to be the next Hogwarts couple?"

Dean rolled his eyes and Parvati laughed. "Harry just does not get that Parvati and I have as much chemistry as a flobberworm," Dean said, grinning. "I mean, I've dropped really unsubtle hints about how much Parvati likes him, but he still thinks that I talk about you because I'm madly in love with you. Just because you have gorgeous features, so I use you as my artist model..."

Parvati nodded. "Yeah. And I just hang out with you for the free food. Although I don't like to insult Harry, even Neville noticed that you were no longer enamoured with Seamus before Harry did, Lav."

"Actually," Dean put in. "Harry only worked that one out when Seamus started dating Lisa."

"He does have other things on his mind though," Parvati said. She hated talking about Harry's faults. "The whole saving-the-world thing is really rather important." They all looked over at Harry who was laughing with Ginny Weasley and gesturing wildly.

"Quidditch," Parvati said knowledgably. "He's doing the broomstick hand movements."

"I can't believe that you can tell what he's talking about from here," Lavender said. "Can you tell when I talk? We have been friends for six years."

Parvati looked at her consideringly. "You know, I'd never really thought about it." Lavender's heart sank. "You don't gesture as much though. You rely on facial movement, which is harder to see from a distance." Lavender felt a little happier although she couldn't help but think that she always knew what Parvati was talking about - even when she was using no hand movements at all.

"Brown, can I talk to you?" Zacharias said from behind her.

Parvati and Dean exchanged glances. "Hi Zacharias," Parvati said, in a very different tone of voice from the one she'd been using before.

Lavender felt her cheeks grow warm, though she didn't know why. "Sure." She followed him out of the Room of Requirement and down the many winding passages until they were out by the rose bushes on the school grounds. It was dark and the sky was carpeted in stars. It was a cool clear night. Lavender could hear rustlings from the Forbidden Forest and shivered slightly. "What did you want to talk to me about?" She asked him, aware that her teeth were starting to chatter. It had certainly not been so cold earlier in the day.

Zacharias sat down on one of the stone benches and motioned for her to do the same. "I thought we could come to some sort of agreement," he said, not looking at her.

Lavender looked at him, confused. "What about?"

"Look, I want to get Sarah off my back and you need to hide your secret love." He was fidgetting with the hem of his robes.

Icy fear trickled down her back. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Zacharias sneered. "Oh, come on Brown. I've noticed the way you act around Parvati Patil. Pretty soon other people are too. And the wizarding community doesn't like homosexuals, not at all. Especially not the purebloods. Isn't Parvati pureblood, Brown?"