A Change of MST

CHAPTER ONE

PDYERF: *waves at readers* Howdy, folks! It's me, P. D. Yerf, one of your favorite authors!

READERS: *cough and gag unrealistically*

PDYERF: *glares* Hey! Fine! Don't read this!

HALF THE READERS: *Get up and leave*

PDYERF: Okay, for those of you who ARE going to read this, welcome! I was thinking to myself the other day, after reading An MST of a Different Kind (one of THE best MST's out there) for the umpteenth time, that, hey, wouldn't it be fun if Annie and Patsy read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix with all the other AU characters? Very fun, I answered myself. So, here it is! This is a completely random, pointless, OOC story that I thought up just because I enjoy MST's and wanted to write one!!!! To get Annie and Patsy to do this for me, I visited them in a dream. Let's watch! *turns to large screen TV, takes out remote, and presses PLAY*

~* Dream Sequence *~

*Annie and Patsy are looking around at a very messy room. They look around and see a girl who looks exactly like Patsy eating Lucky Charms on her bed*

GIRL WHO LOOKS LIKE PATSY (a.k.a. c'est moi): *is singing* Hearts, Stars, and Horseshoes! Clovers and Blue Moons! Pots of Gold and Rain-- *notices Annie and Patsy* About time you two showed up!

ANNIE: Umm...who are you?

PATSY: And why do you look like me?

C'EST MOI: I am P. D. Yerf. I created you. Well, me and Riley Snave. And Patsy is based on me, so, naturally, I look just like her.

PATSY: Umm....

C'EST MOI: Hey! I didn't create you like that! You're intelligent! Say something smart! *snaps fingers*

PATSY: *immediately starts spouting information* y=mx+b! Mark Twain's real name is Samuel Clements! The capital of Maine is Augusta! Flashlights in England are called torches! Cornelius Fudge's middle name is Oswald! The--

C'EST MOI: STOP! *snaps fingers again*

PATSY: Umm....

C'EST MOI: *sighs* Better....much better...

ANNIE: *confused* Okay, what is going on here?

C'EST MOI: I need to write an MST about you two and Sirius and the rest of the group. So I need you to get together with as many Harry Potter characters as possible to read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix so I can write it.

PATSY: But the most any of them has read is Sorcerer's Stone! (Philosopher's Stone in England...)

C'EST MOI: *thinks a minute* Your point?

PATSY: Oh.

ANNIE: Wait a minute. Are you saying that we're not real? That we're just characters in fan fiction? Or are you saying that we are real and you wrote fan fiction about us?

C'EST MOI: Umm....

PATSY: Hey! That's my line!

C'EST MOI: Is not! You're based on me, so it's mine!

PATSY: I said it first, so it's mine!

C'EST MOI: But I wrote you saying it, so it's mine!

ANNIE: This is getting way too complicated...

C'EST MOI: Well...yeah, it is.

PATSY: *hasn't noticed that the argument has ended* Well I STILL said it first, so it's mine!

C'EST MOI: *to herself* That's supposed to be just like me...am I really that unobservant?

RILEY SNAVE: *pokes her head through my bedroom door* Yes, you are.

C'EST MOI: Hey! I didn't invite you into this dream!

RILEY SNAVE: *laughs evilly*

C'EST MOI: GET OUT! *grabs a big stick that wasn't there before and gets ready to strike*

RILEY SNAVE: *stops laughing* Bye! *leaves*

ANNIE: Umm....

PATSY: Hey! That's my line!

C'EST MOI: *reminds herself under her breath that she REALLY needs Patsy for the MST, and that it would ruin A Change of Plans if she killed her...*

ANNIE: *in shock* That...girl...looked...like...me...

C'EST MOI: Well, duh. She's Riley Snave, she created you, and you're based on her.

ANNIE: Umm....

PATSY: Hey! That's my line!

C'EST MOI: *grabs lighting bolts that she borrowed from Mysterious Author Lady (a.k.a. Jakia) from A MST of a Different Kind and zaps Patsy with it*

PATSY: Ow!

C'EST MOI: Oh yes! That felt SO good!

ANNIE: Umm...

PATSY: *is too busy coughing up smoke rings to notice that Annie has used 'her' line*

ANNIE: Hey, er...Miss Yerf?

C'EST MOI: I like the sound of that! Miss Yerf...it's got potential. *realizes that Annie was actually speaking to her* Yes?

ANNIE: If this is an MST, shouldn't we be getting to the...well...reading-the-book part?

C'EST MOI: Oh, yeah! Sorry! *disappears*

PATSY: That was weird.

C'EST MOI: *reappears* Oh, yeah, I forgot! This is MY room! You two can get out! Shoo!

PATSY: Umm...how do we do that?

C'EST MOI: *sighs impatiently* Do I have to do everything for you? *snaps fingers*

PATSY: *disappears*

ANNIE: *disappears*

C'EST MOI: *sings* Hearts, Stars, and Horseshoes! Clovers and Blue Moons! Pots of Gold and Rainbows! And me Red Balloons!

~* End of Dream Sequence *~

ANNIE: *wakes up* That was weird...

~* Next Door *~

PATSY: *wakes up* That was weird....

PDYERF: *waves at readers to get their attention* Hi! Yeah, it's me again.

READERS: *groan*

PDYERF: *glares until they stop* And I'm just here to tell you that that's how I got Patsy and Annie to do this MST for me. Now let's see how they convinced Sirius and everyone else to join in on the fun! *takes out remote again and presses PLAY*

~* Annie's House *~

*Sirius is in the kitchen fixing supper as Annie's mother is gone...Annie and Patsy come in*

ANNIE: Hey, Sirius!

SIRIUS: *surprised by this friendly greeting* Yes Annie? Patsy?

PATSY: Do you think that you and James, Lily, Remus, Snape, all the Weasley kids and Harry could come over tomorrow to help us for...um...a school project?

PDYERF: *pauses the scene* Hey, did my fandom double just say a school project?? *rewinds*

PATSY: Do you think that you and James, Lily, Remus, Snape, all the Weasley kids and Harry could come over tomorrow to help us for...um...a school project?

PDYERF: Oh my God she did! I'm going to have to talk to her...

READERS: *give her odd looks*

PDYERF: Umm...hehe...back to the story? *presses PLAY*

SIRIUS: *VERY suspicious now of such unusual civility* What type of school project?

ANNIE: We want you all to read a book with us.

SIRIUS: *not sure he heard right* A...book?

PATSY: *nods* Yes, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. *she holds it up* We need to do a...er...group reading thing and thought why not read a Harry Potter book with all the Harry Potter characters!

SIRIUS: *VERY, VERY suspicious* And how would this be a school project if it's summer and there is no school?

PDYERF: *pauses the screen yet again* Oh my goodness, Annie and Patsy were that STUPID?!?!?! *disembodied hand hands her summary of A Change of MST* Random...pointless...ah! Completely OOC! That explains it. Okay, that's alright then. Let's continue. *hits PLAY*

PATSY: Umm.... *looks at Annie*

ANNIE: Er.... *looks at Patsy*

PATSY: Okay! Fine! Last night, our author P. D. Yerf--

DISEMBODIED VOICE THAT IS MOST CERTAINLY ME: That's Miss Yerf to you!

PATSY: Umm...my apologies?

DISEMBODIED VOICE THAT IS MOST CERTAINLY ME: No problem!

ANNIE: Anyway, so Miss Yerf visits us in a dream and tells us that we need to get everyone together and read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix so that she can write an MST!

PATSY: She threatened us with lightning bolts!

ANNIE: She didn't threaten. She just zapped you without warning! *looks around warily* Not that there's a problem with that!

DISEMBODIED VOICE THAT IS MOST CERTAINLY ME: There'd better not be!

ANNIE, PATSY, and SIRIUS: *trembles*

DISEMBODIED VOICE THAT IS MOST CERTAINLY ME: *laughs evilly*

PDYERF: *pauses the screen yet again*

READERS: *angry shouts*

PDYERF: Yes, yes, I know! *glares*

READERS: *stops shouting*

PDYERF: ANYWAY, I just want you to know that I did NOT threaten these poor (slightly singed) people one bit. The threatening they talk of is purely figments of their imaginations. I would never zap my own original character--

RILEY SNAVE: *opens a door that wasn't there before* Oh yes you would!

PDYERF: *grabs stick again and holds it threateningly*

RILEY SNAVE: Bye! *closes door with a snap!*

PDYERF: As I was saying, I really am a nice, loving, and considerate person. *notices she is still holding the giant stick and quickly hides it behind her back* Anyway...let's go back to Annie and Patsy! *laughs nervously and pushes the PLAY button*

SIRIUS: *quickly* I'll see what I can do.

ANNIE and PATSY: *relieved* Thanks!

~* End of Scene *~

PDYERF: So, anyway, that's how Patsy and Annie convinced Sirius to join in (with just the teeniest bit of help from me). So, anyway, you decided to read this MST because...well, I'm guessing it's because it's an MST. Or maybe it's because you enjoyed Change of Plans. Or MAYBE it's because you like me as an author!

READERS: *they choke on their own laughter (and yes, that did make no sense....welcome to my world)*

PDYERF: *glares* So, anyway, you're here to read the MST--

RILEY SNAVE: *appears out of nowhere* If you haven't already been scared away!

PDYERF: *hand strays toward big stick*

RILEY SNAVE: Bye! *disappears*

PDYERF: *continues as though nothing has happened* --and here it is! Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for.... *drum roll* A Change of MST!!!!!

CRICKETS IN THE BACKGROUND: Chirp, chirp, chirp....

PDYERF: Fine, DON'T put your hands together for A Change of MST! *jabs PLAY button so hard that the button breaks. She hits it again but it doesn't work* Hey! It--won't--work!

READERS: *cheer*

PDYERF: *glares at them, then gets out her wand* Reparo! *grins* It's fixed!

READERS: *groan*

PDYERF: *ignores them, for once* Okay, so heeeeere we go! *presses PLAY*

*The clouds zoom by...Harry Potter music is playing in the background...Suddenly the words HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS appear*

PDYERF: *stops* Oops...wrong tape.

READERS: *groan*

RANDOM READER: *shouts* Hey! We wanted to watch that!

PDYERF: *laughs nervously, and goes over and changes the tape* Sorry about that, folks... *presses PLAY*

~* Annie's Living Room *~

*Sirius, James, Lily, Remus, Snape, all the Weasley kids, Peter, Harry, Hermione, Annie, and Patsy are sitting on the couch, armchairs, floor, etc. Annie is holding HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX and is sitting next to Patsy on the couch*

ANNIE: *is looking nervous, and keeps looking above her as thought to check that...er...hehe...a threatening figure is not there* Umm...okay everyone...this is, well, for a school project...for the summer...we have to read a book with a bunch of people! *coughs* Right...so, the book we're going to read is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix... *holds up book*

OTHERS: *gasp*

JAMES: That is one HUGE book.

SNAPE: I highly doubt that even Hogwarts has books that large on their book list

FRED: Just how big is it exactly? *winks at George, and everyone knows they are planning a prank*

EVERYONE MINUS FRED AND GEORGE: *backs away ever so slightly*

FRED AND GEORGE: *identical evil grins*

HARRY: Is that supposed to be me on the cover?

ANNIE: Er... *coughs again* Yeah.

RON: *looks at Harry, looks at the cover, looks back at Harry, and then back at the cover* Erm...I can sort of see the resemblance...

JAMES: No way! My kid doesn't look anything like that! *reaches over and hugs Harry, who was sitting right next to him* He's very handsome, and his glasses are NOT that small!

GINNY: *pipes up* And his hair's not blue! *blushes, and looks down at her shoes*

ANNIE AND PATSY: *grin and giggle under their breath*

DISEMBODIED VOICE THAT IS MOST CERTAINLY ME: Okay, folks, this is an MST! You read the book, not comment on the cover art. Although, now that you mention it, Harry's hair does look blue...

EVERYONE EXCEPT ANNIE, PATSY, AND SIRIUS: Who's that?

DISEMBODIED VOICE THAT IS MOST CERTAINLY ME: *in a BOOMING voice* It is I, the all powerful Miss Yerf!

FRED AND GEORGE: *snicker*

DISEMBODIED VOICE THAT IS MOST CERTAINLY ME: I heard that! *there is a popping sound, and they each grow identical snow white beards*

ANNIE AND PATSY: *cheer*

EVERYONE ELSE: *in shock*

ANNIE: *trying to suppress her laughter* Anyway, so, just as Miss Yerf...

FRED AND GEORGE: *snicker again* *grow mustaches that match their beards*

ANNIE: ...said, we need to read this book. *holds up HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX*

PATSY: I want to read it first!

ANNIE: I want to!

PATSY: Me!

ANNIE: Me!

PATSY: ME!

ANNIE: ME!

PATSY: ME!

ANNIE: ME--

DISEMBODIED VOICE THAT IS MOST CERTAINLY ME: Enough! Any more arguing and...well...*tries to think of an adequate punishment for Patsy and Annie* *fails* ...I'll do something REALLY BAD!!!!!!

EVERYONE: *trembles* *nods*

PATSY: *swipes HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX* I'll read!

ANNIE: *grumbles*

PATSY: *opens book to title page*

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J. K. Rowling

ALL WEASLEYS, HARRY, SNAPE, REMUS, AND PETER: Who??

PATSY AND ANNIE: The best author in the world, that's who! *glares*

EVERYONE ELSE: *back away*

DISEMBODIED VOICE THAT IS MOST CERTAINLY ME: And now, before Patsy begins to read, would be a good time for a disclaimer! Harry Potter and all the other characters that you recognize here do NOT belong to me! Neither does Lucky Charms, or A MST of a Different Kind (it belongs to Jakia). The only things that really do belong to me are Annie (who actually belongs to Riley Snave) and Patsy, and all their family members! Other things that belong to Jakia: lightning bolt that I borrowed to zap Patsy, as well as the name DISEMBODIED VOICE THAT IS MOST CERTAINLY ME. Although it's not exactly the same as MYSTERIOUS VOICE THAT SOUNDS MYSTERIOUSLY LIKE ME, it's close enough to be MAYBE called copying.

EVERONE: Umm...

PATSY: Can I please read the story now, Miss Yerf?

DISEMBODIED VOICE THAT IS MOST CERTAINLY ME: I guess so!

PATSY: *turns to page one and begins to read*

Chapter One: Dudley Demented

ANNIE: Hey, I've just noticed something!

EVERYONE ELSE: What?

ANNIE: The flowers in the picture are bigger than Harry is!

PATSY: *looks at them* You're right! They are! That's really messed up!

DISEMBODIED VOICE THAT IS MOST CERTAINLY ME: Quit talking about the stupid pictures! Read the book!

PATSY: *rolls eyes* Yeesh...

HARRY: What was the name of the chapter again? With all this talk of how some flowers are bigger than me, I've forgotten.

ANNIE: Oh, come on! You can't have that short of a memory!

PATSY: Just read this MST again. Here... *hands him a copy of A CHANGE OF MST*

ANNIE: *in amazement* Where'd you get that?

PATSY: *thinks* I...don't know. I guess it's just part of the randomness of this fic.

ANNIE: Ah.

HARRY: *reading from MST* Hey! Patsy is REALLY unobservant here!

PATSY: Let's just start the chapter, shall we? *grinds teeth*

ANNIE: *laughs*

PATSY: *glares at Annie*

ANNIE: *backs away*

PATSY: *does not notice the lack of people around her*

The hottest day of the summer

BILL: Egypt!

ALL: *look at him oddly*

BILL: I love Egypt...It's hot all the time there... *sighs dreamily, thinking about Egypt*

PATSY: Oookay... *turns back to book*

so far was drawing to a close

GEORGE: *suddenly* How can a day draw? Or close for that matter? I mean, it's not a box or a pencil...

ANNIE: Okay, now that was random.

GEORGE: *nods* Yeah, Miss Yerf is grasping at straws already and we've barely started chapter one!

HARRY: *still reading MST* This story is about nine pages on Miss Yerf's computer already, though.

GEORGE: *thinks on this* True.

and a drowsy silence

PETER: *yawns*

ANNIE AND PATSY: *glare at Peter*

EVERYONE ELSE: *give them questioning looks*

lay over the large, square houses of Privet Drive.

LILY: Petunia lives in Privet Drive, Little Winging.

SIRIUS: So does Harry, in book one in this series.

HARRY: *with dawning comprehension* So this is the series of books about me that Annie and Patsy were talking about earlier!

EVERYONE: *eyes widen* *shake their heads in disappointment*

ANNIE: *sarcastically* Well it is only titled Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

PATSY: *chokes back laughter*

JAME--

PDYERF: Hey! Hey, what's going on here!? The player's jammed, or something! This isn't supposed to happen! I didn't write it like this! HEY! Where's the remote! *begins searching frantically*

RILEY SNAVE: *is standing behind her, twirling the remote in her fingers after pressing the PAUSE button* *rolls her eyes at readers*

READERS: *muffled laughter*

RANDOM READER FROM A WHILE AGO: *laughs openly*

PDYERF: *clueless* What? *turns around* HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!!!!!!

RILEY SNAVE: *laughs evilly* I am taking over this fic!

PDYERF: You are NOT! Give me my remote back!

RILEY SNAVE: *pulls out giant stick*

PDYERF: *eyes widen* Oh no.

RILEY SNAVE: Oh yes!

PDYERF: *begins to sob* You CAN'T! You can't end this NOW! There hasn't hardly been any MST! I can't call this fic A Change of MST if there's only one sentence from the book I'm MST-ing in all ten pages! NOO-OO-OOO!

RILEY SNAVE: *evil grin* *hits P. D. Yerf over the head with giant stick* *yells triumphantly* I'VE JUST GOT RID OF P. D. YERF AND I'M TRIUMPHANT!!!!!!! *evil laugh* And now I'm taking over the ship! I mean the fic! MWAHAHAHAHA!

MALE VOICE FROM THE RON POMPEIL INFOMERCIALS: Will Riley Snave really take over the ship? I-I mean fic? Will P. D. Yerf stay knocked out for all 870 pages of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix? Will Annie, Patsy, and all the Harry Potter characters ever get around to actually reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix? Will all the readers in the audience that are left leave, or will they stay? Review, and find out!

RILEY SNAVE: And? *slaps giant stick into her palm*

MALE VOICE FROM THE RON POMPEIL INFOMERCIALS: *in a panicky voice* This chapter is brought to you by all the people who asked for it! DracoNunquamDormiens, Jamie_Lilith_Potter, SassyBird, isla142, AmethystPhoenix, and Sara86! (A/N: If there was anyone else after I post this...I'm sorry!)

RILEY SNAVE: *smiles sweetly* Thank you!

MALE VOICE FROM THE RON POMPEIL INFOMERCIALS: You're welcome! *leaves*

RILEY SNAVE: *waves at readers* Goodbye! And review....or else! *slaps stick into her palm again*

*laughs evilly*