The Shotgun Bride

Chapter Seventeen: Reactions.

Lucius listened to his son's car drive away, thinking that the engine was sounding really good these days. He considered whether he should go tell Narcissa right now that her son had just left to marry the Weasley girl, but then remembered that Wheel of Fortune had just come on. He pulled a beer out of the cooler that sat next to his chair, and took a long swig.

Half an hour wouldn't make any difference.

After Wheel of Fortune had gone off, he flipped through and found an episode of Monster Garage on that he hadn't seen, so he decided that was more important than telling Narcissa. He finished off his fourth beer, and yawned. As a limousine was turned into a fire truck, Lucius drifted off.

"Lucius!"

Lucius jumped in his chair, spilling the last dregs of the half empty beer can loosely clutched in his hand all over his favorite pair of jeans.

"Damn it, woman, what's wrong with you?" he snapped.

"Where is my son?" Narcissa demanded, hands on lycra-covered hips.

"He isn't here?" Lucius was regretting telling Draco that he would break the news to Narcissa. The woman was wickedly cruel and easily angered.

"No, he isn't," Narcissa said. "And I told him to be here tonight for dinner with the McNairs!"

"He did mention something..." Lucius began.

"He did?" Narcissa said sharply.

"He might've said something about notwantingabigweddingandthathewasgoingtogetmarriedtoday," Lucius managed to get out on one big rush.

Narcissa laughed. "For a second, I thought you said that my son ran off and married that Weasley girl today."

"I thought you decided you liked her," he said.

"Well, that was when I thought I was going to be planning the wedding and getting to dress everybody up! You were going to wear a suit, Lucius! You didn't even wear a suit to our wedding!"

"Uh," Lucius said. "I could wear a suit now."

Narcissa contemplated it.

"But only if you break out your old cheerleading uniform," Lucius said, realizing the opportunity that had presented itself.

"But-But the McNairs are coming over!" Narcissa protested weakly.

"We could put up the old sign," Lucius said.

"If the trailer's a rockin', don't come a knockin'," Narcissa smirked.

"I'll just go lock the door," Lucius said.

"I think my uniform's in the closet..." Narcissa said.

"Don't forget the pompoms!"

"I should probably call Molly first... let her know where her daughter's run off to," Narcissa said.

"Well, be quick with it," Lucius said.

Narcissa scurried to the phone, and dialed a number quickly.

**

Molly had just set down her knitting when the phone rang. "I'll get it!" she called, reaching over and picking up the cordless. "Hello?"

She dropped her knitting needles and gasped. "What do you mean, they eloped?"

Arthur looked up from his Car Trader, intrigued.

"Fine, fine," Molly said huffily. "Bye."

"What was that about?" Arthur asked.

"Ginny ran off and got married! I can't believe she eloped!" Molly exclaimed.

"She did? Dang," said Arthur blandly.

"I mean, I had the whole wedding all planned out! It was going to be so beautiful! The sun was going to shine, the birds were damn well going to chirp, and the cake was going to be delicious! How could she do that to me?" Molly wailed.

"Um," said Arthur, silently thanking his only daughter for saving him a bundle. Molly's no expenses saved method of wedding planning had been worrying him, but now the weight was off his shoulders. But he was wise enough a man to realize that Molly didn't need his input to intrude upon her disappointment.

"When that girl gets home I'm gonna tan her hide," Molly said, not meaning a word.

"Uh-huh," Arthur said vaguely.

"And I'm gonna tell that boy she married a thing or two while I'm at it," she continued. "He didn't even tell his momma that they were getting hitched. He told that awful man Lucius- "

"His father?" Arthur asked. Molly waved off the minor detail.

"And now Ginny's related to those people," she said.

"I thought you liked Narcissa," Arthur asked, confused. He had been nice to Lucius Malfoy of all people and it turned out that Molly didn't even like them?

"Well, she isn't the pretentious slut that I thought she would be, but we're by no means friends," Molly replied.

"That's interesting," Arthur said. Maybe he could get away with getting a few hits in on Lucius. He was still a mite upset over an incident from when they had been young, drunk, and Lucius had said some choice words about his mother. Never mind that Arthur had some things to say about Lucius's momma as well, and forget about the fistfights and the petty vandalism they had had.

He might be able vent his frustration over his baby girl becoming a Malfoy on the man.

That would kick ass.

Arthur returned his attention back to his Car Trader, and smiled.

**

Ron gaped at his mother.

"She ran off and got married?"

"She did," Molly said through gritted teeth.

"Why the hell did she bother telling us all about her and Malfoy beforehand then?" Charlie wondered.

"Maybe she wanted Draco to get beat up," Fred suggested.

"Or maybe she didn't want to elope. Maybe Draco forced her into it," George said.

"Yeah!" Fred agreed. "Maybe Draco is really working for the Russians-"

"We like the Russians," Percy interrupted.

"Okay, those peksy redcoats," Fred amended.

"We like them, too. They make tea," Percy said. No reaction. "And Monty Python."

"Yay for England, then," George said. "Maybe it was Djibouti."

A resounding silence met this suggestion.

"It was Canada! Draco is a Canadian spy who kidnaped our baby sister, intent on making her a love slave for his deranged hockey team of evil!"

"Canada isn't evil!" snapped Bill. "And we've known Draco his whole life! When did he ever go to Canada or Djibouti?"

"Yeah, Ron, do you remember Draco going to Djibouti?" George asked.

"You're the one who brought it up!" Ron yelled, his face turning red.

Molly sighed, and used years worth of mothering to tune out the sound of her boys. She supposed she had to tell her mother about this before the whole town knew...

**

The phone rang in Jo's living room. She made her way around tables crowded with nicknacks until she reached the receiver.

"Hello?" A pause.

"The just... up and got married?" she said, giving the phone a doubtful look.

"Are you sure they aren't just out being sinful together?" She snorted. "Since when did anything Lucius Malfoy say have any grain of truth in it?"

She fiddled with a Precious Moments figurine.

"You are still having that get together on the Fourth, right?"

A pause.

"Just because there ain't gonna be a wedding don't mean that there can't be cake," Jo snapped.

She set down the figurine.

"Fine. Bye."

**

It was a beautiful Fourth of July. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and the minister droning on in front of a varied crowd, uniting teenaged lovers in holy matrimony. The bride wore black and the groom wore a baby blue leisure suit and the bridesmaids were all dressed in gold. Finally, the minister spoke the words Pansy had been awaiting. "If for any reason this couple should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Pansy stood from her seat on the groom's side of the audience, and spoke loudly. "He can't marry that girl!"

Everyone gasped and turned to look at her. She stalked dramatically into the middle of the aisle, and flipped her hair back. "She's a ho! Draco, that baby probably isn't even yours!"

Draco looked over at Ginny, and took in her low-cut black dress and said, "You're right, Pansy! How had I never noticed before?"

Ginny seemed to disappear off to the background, becoming completely inconsequential.

"She blinded you," Pansy said understandingly. "It could have happened to anyone."

"Oh, Pansy!" Draco exclaimed. "How could I have lived without you?"

He then swept her into his arms, kissed her passionately, and they were riding off into the sunset on a rumbling Harley when the phone rang.

Pansy blearily opened her eyes, and picked up her pink princess phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, Lavender," she said, confused. A moment passed.

"WHAT?"

Pansy dropped the phone, and stared at it as though it had grown teeth and tried to eat her ear. She probably would have fallen right off the waterbed if she'd been sitting up. Surely Lavender Brown hadn't told her what she had thought that she had been told. Really, it was impossible.

She gingerly picked the phone back up, and said into the mouthpiece, "Are you sure?"

She twined the phone cord around her finger as she listened to Lavender spill what she knew and where she had found it out from.

"I don't care if you heard it from a Weasley, I've got to find out if it's true," Pansy said. "Bye."

She hung up, and sat in a shocked stupor for a few moments. "It couldn't be," she told herself. "There's no way! He was supposed to realize that she was a skank and come running to my arms! Not run off and marry her without giving me the chance to speak my mind when the minister asks if anyone has a reason for them to not be wed!"

She picked up the phone and dialed the Malfoy's number. She knew how to confirm if this horrible rumor was true or not.

Narcissa answered, sounding breathless. "What?"

Pansy went for the sly method. "Is Draco there?"

"No, he isn't," Narcissa replied. She giggled, and said, "I'm on the phone! Stop it!"

"Um," said Pansy. "When will he be getting home?"

"Haven't the slightest," Narcissa said. She giggled again.

Pansy couldn't stand the subtle method any longer. "Is it true he went off and married that Weasley girl?"

"He did," Narcissa said. "Bye!"

Pansy could hear what sounded like a cheer as Narcissa hung up.

She carefully placed the phone on its cradle, and stared blankly some more. She knew that she would have to do something about this... The next time she saw Draco Malfoy and that hussy, she would make her feelings known.

Oh yes, she would.

**