You Have Lovely... Elbows.

Chapter One

Her name was Annabel Juliet Papillon Rose Genevieve Daisy Honey Hazel Marigold Smith-Lake... but everyone called her Bel. She prided herself in her looks and was frequently seen mooning over herself into a mirror. "Oh, Bel... you look so nice!" she gushed. "Like, certainly nice enough to win Gilderoy Lockhart's attentions at dinner tonight."

Everyone commented on her bubbly personality that put Old Faithful to shame. With just a flip of her fiery spiraled tresses, men flocked to hold doors open for her and buy her sparkling diamond rings. In fact, that's how she came to meet the handsome Adonis they call Gilderoy Lockhart...

After Gilderoy came back from his "lovely holiday" at St. Mungo's Hospital, he wanted to start a new life. Unfortunately, there was one problem: all the girls, everywhere he went, were enchanted with him like he had just slipped them some Love Potion No. 9. In fact, he was hiding in a chic jewelry store to get away from his throng of admirers. Every female in the store went into a near swoon when he walked in... except one. Gilderoy noticed her because of this, and at once, due to a handy deus ex machina, fell madly in love with her.

Of course, what poor Gilderoy did not know was that Bel was too busy checking out her reflection in the rings to even notice him. "My teeth look even more pearly white in this diamond!" she exclaimed, not noticing the blond knight in shining armor approaching from behind. Not literally, of course. I mean, he did approach from behind, but he was really wearing the latest style of robe from the pages of WQ (Wizards' Quarterly, of course) in a deep burgundy wine. The rich velvet moved as a second skin, accentuating his... STOP!! Sorry about that. Anyway, back to the story.

"Ooooohh... ahhh..." the woman cooed to herself, turning her head from side to side, her teeth flashing. Her teeth actually made quite a startling contrast to her lush, full blood-red lips. Her flaming hair cascaded around her shoulder like a shower of... well, flames.

After picking his jaw up from off the floor, Gilderoy strode purposefully toward the gorgeous stranger. He cleared his throat and said, "Hey baby. You want a piece of this..." -he rummaged around in his robe- "cake? It's my mum's birthday today."

"How did you know I love vanilla cake with purple frosting and little multicolored stars with 'Happy Birthday, Mum' written on it in orange frosting?!" she exclaimed, looking at the ornately decorated slice bearing the words "Ha...Bi" proudly.

*~*

The next day, Gilderoy had owled Bel and asked her to dinner. She graciously accepted and was now deciding what to wear. "Should I wear the ice-blue custom-tailored robe, the emerald robe that is nicely cut and thus shows off my lovely... elbows... to perfection, or the all-purpose little black robe?"

She held each up to her voluptuous frame in front of her enchanted talking mirror.

"Oh, darling, you look just fabulous!" lisped the sycophantic mirror-man with a wave of his hand.

Impatiently, Bel said, "But you didn't answer my question! Which one should I wear?"

"Oh, definitely the emerald one. It shows off your elbows quite nicely, dearie."

With that weighty matter decided, Bel headed off for a nice soak in her tub. She then, after thinking very carefully, decided to pull out the big guns, the way that she knew was certain to get her conquest to fall for her... yes, that's right, she used her Mr.-Bubbles-Bubble-Gum-Scented-Bubble-Bath.

"Works every time," she said with a smirk as she applied emerald eyeliner to match her robes.

After stepping into stilettos and slicking on some lip gloss, she Apparated into the night.