The Things You Learn

The things you learn . . .

Part 1: Divination and Arithmancy

Seen hanging in the Gryffindor Common Room: (you'd probably rather not know who did the seeing.)

Dear Gryffindor House,

Parvati Patil and I, Miss Lavender Brown, are doing a special Divination project for Professor Sybill Trelawney with Professor McGonagall's permission. We are studying the ancient legend that says that if you go to sleep with a mirror under your pillow, you will dream of future lovers. We need as many different students to try this as possible and report to us the next morning. Of course, we can't make anyone do it, but Professor McGonagall and Professor Trelawney are each offering ten points for every student who helps us, and since certain people have put us well behind for the house cup, it would be really nice if you all signed up.
Thanks in advance!!

Sign up here:
Lavender Brown
Parvati Patil
Colin Creevey
Dennis Creevey
Seamus Finnigan (All right, girl, I got the others to sign on too. Are you speaking to me again?)
Dean Thomas
Neville Longbotton
Harry Potter
Ron Weasley
Hermione Granger
Ginny Weasley

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Thank you so much to everyone for volunteering to help out! If you signed up, please write what you dreamed about last night on your spot in this chart, using the attached quill, which is spelled to keep other people from changing your replies. Thanks again!

Lavender: I dreamed about my dear lovely Seamus! <33 Also later Parvati and Sybill, up in the North Tower. I have to admit I liked that part of the dream better . . . oh my God! Hermione Granger, you put a truth spell on this quill, didn't you? Why? Why??

Hermione: Of course I did. If you two can humiliate everyone for your divination project, I'm certainly allowed to do so for Arithmancy. Professor Vector is giving me extra credit for testing this new veridication spell under real-world conditions. Someone might as well be learning something from this project, since it's obvious the divination part is utterly worthless. For example, I dreamed that I was doing homework alone in the library, surrounded by nothing but books. I hardly think that means I'll be celibate all my life. Actually, what really worries me is that I was more than slightly aroused by the time I woke up. oh bollocks, I think I may have made that truth spell rather stronger than I intended . . .

Ginny: I dreamed of my first and only, one true love, a dangerous little dark-haired cutie named Tom Riddle. (Well, who did you think it would be?) I dream of him often, seeing as how he took over my mind for an entire year before any of you lot noticed. If someone has a desire to learn more about my feelings for him, I'd be happy to show you some of the better curses he taught me.
P.S. Harry: Good to know you can resist truth spells along with the Imperious Curse. The denial thing's working out well, then, is it?

Ron: Oh eww, Hermione, like we really needed to know that. I dreamed about my old rat, Scabbers. I don't see what this has to do with my love life.

Dean: Thank you so much for that mental image, Weasley. I dreamed about watching a football game. I have to agree with Ron here. I can't imagine how the entire West Ham football team could feature in my romantic future.

Harry: I dreamed about Voldemort, but I'm pretty sure it was caused by my scar, not the mirror, especially since Draco Malfoy and his father were there too.
P.S. Ginny: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Neville: Parvati, why did you have to ask us to write this where everyone can see it? It's embarassing enough as it is, because I dreamed of Professor Snape, of course. Like my crush on him isn't painfully obvious to everyone already. Well, I can't help it that I always start daydreaming about him in potions class and lose track of what I'm supposed to be doing. It's not my fault he's so terribly attractive. I'm sure it's just hormones, anyway, I'll get over him eventually. It's only lasted five or six years so far.
Oh well, at least I don't make a fool of myself around Harry anymore.

Seamus: Dean, you obviously didn't watch any of that Muggle pornography you got for me last summer, then.
I seem to be the only person in this House who isn't entirely perverted. I dreamed only of spending my next Hogsmeade weekend with my sweet Lavender. Lavvie, if you try to bring Professor Trelawney along, I'm not coming. Parvati, now-- I think I could enjoy you and Parvati.

Dennis: Lavender and Parvati, Seamus? So much for you not being perverted! I dreamed about my first day at Hogwarts, when the giant squid rescued me from the lake. It's been a long time since I've remembered that! Neat. I'm so glad you suggested doing this, Lavender!
It's a perfectly normal male fantasy, Dennis. --S
Does that mean I can own up to my fantasies about Tom and Harry now, then?
Gin!
Something bothering you, Harry? --G

Colin: Wow, Dennis! I'd almost forgotten about that too! I dreamed about Harry, just like I always do. :) I don't really think it means anything, tho. I hope your project works out well, Lavender and Parvati!

Thanks so much for helping out, everybody. I'm sorry Miss Granger was too immature not to interfere with our project. We didn't mean to embarass anyone, honestly. But I do think we might have gotten better data this way, so may be it was all for the best. If anyone wants to see the final analysis, talk to me in a few days and I'll be happy to give you a copy. Oh, everyone's points should be showing in the hourglass by now.
--P. P.

Woah, wait just a minute, Parvati. All the rest of us shared in public, don't think you're going to get out of it.

Well, if you really want the sordid details, Thomas . .

Spill, Parvati!

Curious, aren't we, Seamus? If you absolutely must know, I didn't dream about anyone, because I stayed up all night preparing this parchment and quill and getting the arithmantic analysis ready. I may be the one who didn't get in to Ravenclaw, but I'm not entirely stupid.

You're dead meat, Patil.

Miss Lavender Brown needs to calm down and remember that Gryffindors don't hex their own housema---

You mean Fred and George are forgotten already, Parvati? How sad. Nice ears, by the way. --R