Harry Potter and The Psychotic Seventh Years

-Chapter One

It was evening at Hogwarts. The Sorting Hat had just sorted the first years into place only a few short hours before. There had been MANY Hufflepuffs for some reason, and very few Gryffindors and Ravenclaws. Slytherin had gotten a large bunch of new enemies for Harry, Ron and Hermione to deal with, but all in all, a good first day back at school. 

Ron sighed, and leaned back in one of the many chairs in the Gryffindor Common Room. It was almost like being in a second home, with familiar things all around him. Neville, chasing Trevor. Seamus blowing things up, and Harry, and Hermione right beside him. “So, what do you think is going to happen this year?”

Harry sighed, “I don’t know, but I have a feeling that those crazy girls might have a part in it . . .”

“Yes, they were QUITE insane, weren’t they?” Hermione asked.

“Yeah, they frighten me,” Ron laughed, as he remembered what had happened earlier that evening.

 *FLASHBACK--A FEW SHORT HOURS EARLIER*

Ron shoved a large forkful of food into his mouth, and spoke rapidly at his friends. (Like they could understand him, let alone were they listening). The Sorting ceremony had just taken place, and Dumbledore had made a special announcement.

“I would like to start by saying that I know a good number of you are apprehensive about being here with Voldemort-“  a few people flinched at his name and Dumbledore smiled sympathetically, “on the rise again, but I can assure Hogwarts is on of the safest places on earth.  There is no need to worry.  Now I have some big, exciting news for everyone.

“Hogwarts has decided to experiment with two new things.  The first is a seventh year exchange program with schools from Ireland, Scotland, Germany, France, Canada, Sweden, Switzerland, and the United States of America.  We were paired with Ireland.  You’ll notice that two of our students, Jeremy Stone and Noel Webster, are not present.  They are in Ireland for their seventh year.  You’ll also notice two new faces.  I would like to introduce Meara Redmond, born to Ireland, and Elspeth Tweedie, who is Scottish, but attended the same fine school in Ireland as Miss Redmond. 

“They arrived a few days early for a private Sorting.  As they haven’t been at this school for the entire education, they will only be with the house the Sorting Hat placed them for classes.  They will be sharing a spare room and be allowed to sit at whatever table they please.  Miss Redmond was placed in Gryffindor,” loud cheers rang out from the Gryffindor table, as if she were a first year student being sorted into their house.  “And Miss Tweedie was placed in Hufflepuff.”

There had been a few scattered cheers, and hoots for the two exchange students.  Elspeth grinned and waved, as if she were a princess in a slow-moving parade.  Meara just shook her head, and rolled her eyes at the other.

Pleased with the rest of Hogwarts’ reaction to the exchange students, Dumbledore went on.  “Now as for the second experiment we’ll be trying…Instead of having two classes paired for each class, Gryffindor and Slytherin in potions, for example, this year will be different.  Everyone in each house will be separated into four groups—A, B, C, and D.  The A groups for each house will have all their classes together, same for B, C, and D groups.  So, for example, if you’re in Hufflepuff, you’ll have a class with Gryffindors, Slytherins, and Ravenclaws.  The first years are being placed in their groups at this very moment.”  He gave the crowd a long stare, looking for blank expressions.  “Well then, let’s eat!”

The two girls wandered around, looking for places to sit.  Most of the seats were taken up with all of the new first years—in fact, there wasn’t a single spot left at the Hufflepuff table.  They searched desperately for seats.  Finally, Meara eyed a spot at the Gryffindor table.

“Hallo, can we sit here?” The tall one, Elspeth, asked.  She wore black robes, like every one else, but what stood out was her bright, auburn hair.  Not as fiery as the Weasley’s, but bright, just the same. 

“Yeah, we’re only quasi-insane,” The shorter one added. She, too wore black robes, but had dark, almost black hair. The two seemed to be friends, but looked like complete opposites.

“We won’t bite, well, as long as I take my medication, I won’t,” Elspeth said with a smile.

“You DID remember your medication, didn‘t you?” Meara prodded her friend with her elbow. “Didn’t you?”

A blank expression came over Elspeth’s face. “Blimey, I think I did . . .” She began checking her pockets, and pulled out a white medicine bottle, and placed it on the table, grinning triumphantly. “See, I remembered ‘em!”

Meara shook her head, “Yes, but did you TAKE them?”

Elspeth remained quiet for a while, thinking. “Umm, I think I did . . .” Meara took from the bottle, a few large, purple and pink pills, and conjured a glass of water from nowhere. “Take them. NOW,” she demanded.

Elspeth looked speechless for a moment. “But . . . But, what if I already took ‘em, and I die of an overdose, what then?”

Her companion glared at her, “What if you didn't take it, you go psycho and scare these people more than we already have, thus slowly alienating us from the rest of the student body more than we're going to be anyway, and I have to kill you--a slow, painful death?”

“Okay, I’ll take it. But if I die of an OVERdose . . .”

“Then I’ll make sure they bury you in a place where you won’t frighten the rest of the spirits.”

Elspeth sighed, “Alright . . .” She swallowed, the pills as her friend had commanded her to, and then the goofy grin was back on her face. Meara flung her arms high in the air, and gave out a loud ‘S-C-O-R-E!’ to the astonishment of the ENTIRE Hogwarts student body. Elspeth and Meara looked around, everyone staring straight back at them. Dumbledore chuckled to himself, and Snape scowled. Elspeth made a few ‘raspberries’ at a few gawking students, and soon everyone was eating again.

“If we let you sit with us, you have to promise to take some of those, too,” Harry said to Meara, indicating the Pill bottle.

Ron gawked at them, with wide eyes, “Yeah, you frighten me,” Elspeth snorted, and Meara let out a muffled “HAH!”

“THEY frighten you?” Hermione asked. “Excuse me. Consider the things you two have gotten us into. These two should be NO challenge,” She smiled. They seemed interesting enough; Hermione saw no reason NOT to let them sit with her and her friends.

“Can we sit down now?” Elspeth asked.

Meara elbowed her friend. “Be POLITE, Elspeth!”

Elspeth cleared her throat, “Ahem, may we PLEASE sit down now?”

“NOPE!” Ron said, turning back to his food.

Elspeth Lunged at Ron, “Why you, little . . . Ooooh! Pumpkin Pasties!” Elspeth sat down, and daintily ate a few Pumpkin pasties, leaving Ron wide-eyed, as Meara took her place next to Hermione.

“Does she HAVE to sit next to ME?” Ron asked, looking at Elspeth.  Elspeth’s mature response was to stick her tongue, covered in pumpkin pastry crumbs, out at him.  He wrinkled his nose in disgust, but Hermione smirked.  Ron Weasley had finally met his match.

After they’re conversation about medicine, Meara and Elspeth were relatively sane.  That is they were sane until Meara, who had been mysteriously silent for nearly ten minutes, suddenly broke into loud song, “Demons come from every side—IN THE DARKNESS IS THE LIGHT.   Pulling me on a downward slide—IN THE DARKNESS IS THE LIGHT.  Getting hot the deeper I go—IN THE DARKNESS IS THE LIGHT.  In the darkness down below—IN THE DARKNESS IS THE LIGHT!  I live my life in one straight line—the future ahead, and the past behind.  Don’t wanna go back to yesterday, but I don’t know how long I can run this way!”

“Um.  Meara?” Hermione whispered, tugging at her new acquaintance’s arm.  “The entire tables, not to mention several of the teachers, are looking at you.”  The only indication that she had heard was her shrug.

“In the darkness is the light.  Surrender will win the fight.  This girl’s walked on fire and ice, but I come out on the other side of paradise!  Oh, yeah, paradise.  PARADISE!!!”  She grinned at everyone staring at her.  “Sorry, one of those random things, you know how it is.”

Elspeth looked up from her tenth pumpkin pastry, not the least bit surprised with her friend’s behavior.  “You skipped most of the song.”

Meara shrugged.  “So?”

“Just thought I’d point that out.”

“You’re going to get at stomach ache from eating so many of those.”

“So?”

“Just thought I’d point that out.”

Hermione and Ron, who seemed to have warmed up to them, grinned while Harry let out a low whistle.

*END FLASHBACK—CURRENT TIME*

Ron shook his head. “Yeah, weird girls,” Just then, the two (speak of the devil) entered the common room with Fred and George.

“Well, I still don’t get it,” George sighed.

“What?” The two girls chorused.

“The whole ‘Penguins-cannot-fly-thing‘,” Fred said, flapping his arms like wings.

“Oh, ‘Cars have wheels, therefore; penguins cannot fly?’” Elspeth shook her head. “I thought that I JUST explained this to you.” She looked at the two boys, whom were shaking their heads.

Meara sighed, “Cars roll, so rolling is taken, thus penguins cannot roll. BUT in YOUR case, cars can also fly, sooooo,”

Elspeth struck a noble pose, her finger high in the air, “PENGUINS CANNOT FLY!”

“Ooh, I get it!” Fred lied.