Brett and Raven Do Hogwarts

Chapter 3

"We have to out-prank them!" George stated to Fred later on that day when they were in their dorm room. "We're supposed to be the pranksters of Hogwarts! We can't have them stealing our glory all year."

"Yes, we must out-do them, but how?" Fred stopped to think for a moment before exclaiming, "We can out-muggle them!"

"Out-muggle them?" George seemed puzzled.

"Yes, well, they pulled a muggle prank so let's pull a muggle prank. Ours will just have to be better then theirs," Fred explained what he meant to his brother.

"An excellent idea my dear brother! That is exactly what we shall do!" George was now excited for pranking was what the two of them did best. "But what muggle prank to use?"

Fred eyed his brother like an evil genius and then said, "We can saran wrap all the toilets in the girls bathrooms!"

"Perfect! We shall do it tomorrow night!" George also did the evil genius glare and followed it with laughter of the same sort. Fred quickly joined in.

*

Two days later when all the toilets in the girls bathrooms were nicely saran-wrapped, Fred and George acted as innocent as the always did. That morning, since it was Saturday, they thought it would be extra fun to wake up Brett and Raven really early, just to see them get pissed off. Despite the fact that they felt the urge to out-do the girls in pranks, they still liked to hang out with them, and were good friends.

When Fred and George opened the door to the girls' dorm, they noticed that Brett was just getting up and that Raven wasn't even there. Brett looked at them curiously as they stuck their heads in the door.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Um, well we were going to wake you and Raven up, but I guess we aren't going to get to do that," George answered.

"Why did you want to wake us up? Couldn't stand to be alone on this Saturday morning?" Brett asked sarcastically.

"We just wanted to piss you off. To annoy you. It's what we do best," George explained truthfully. "Where's Raven then?"

"Oh, she just went to go to the bathroom," Brett said matter-of-factly.

"The bathroom!" Fred nearly shouted. "I'll be right back!" He dashed out of the dorm and down the stairs. He flew out the portrait hole and straight to the girls' bathroom. He saw Raven just before she went into the bathroom. Raven entered the bathroom and was about to go into a stall, when out of nowhere a voice shouted out, "Nooooooooooooooo!" She spun around to see Fred standing there with a huge expression of worry.

"What do you want?"

"You can't use that stall!"

"Alright then, I'll use that one." She walked over to a different stall.

"No, you can't use that one either," Fred protested.

"Can I ask what you're doing in the girls bathroom?"

"Why wouldn't I be in the girls bathroom? I mean think about it."

"Alright."

"So yeah, just, uh, just don't, yeah, just hold your bladder for a while, okay?"

And with that he dashed back out of the bathroom, stopping only for a moment's time to check if anybody was watching.

*

Meanwhile, Brett had been rocking out in the Great Hall, eating her breakfast with George. She lazily popped some hash browns into her mouth while George drew on a napkin.

"What are you drawing?" Brett asked with a mouthful of food.

"Oh yeah, that's lovely," George smirked in reference to Brett's full mouth of food.

Brett stuck her tongue out only long enough to see the expression on George's face spread into a sheer look of disgust, when their silent battle was interrupted.

"You guys, check this out!" a 5th year, named Harry Potter, who was also a Gryffindor shouted out.

"What is it?" George demanded to know.

"It's the Early Bird."

"The early what?" Brett asked.

"It's a dance," George explained. "Every year there's a dance and we all dress up nicely and go and have ourselves a good time."

"That's cool. But uh..." Brett paused

"But uh, what?" George demanded.

"I'm sorry, but I just can't picture anyone from this school at a dance, actually dancing, and actually having a good time," Brett laughed out.

"Well, it is a good time, whether or not you think we're capable of having one. Anyway, all members of the Quidditch teams have to bring a date because it's custom, and that's why Harry's here," George said.

"Yes, it is. I'm going to ask Cho Chang to the Early Bird, but I don't know how to ask her to go with me. Any advice George?" Harry asked honestly.

"Uh yeah mate, just ask her, otherwise she'll end up going with someone else, like every other time we have a dance," George laughed out at Harry's misfortune.

Harry ran off smiling widely in Cho Chang's direction. George turned to Brett. "So, we need a date for this thing, and I never know who to take."

"That's a shame," Brett offered her not so genuine condolences.

"Well, I was thinking maybe I could take you."

"You were thinking wrong, because I don't believe in high school dating. It's immature and pointless, because it has to end somewhere."

"I bet Fred will ask Raven, and she'll say yes."

"I bet not."

"Well whatever, the point is, I just don't want to hold hands with Angelina for another dance, because I'm always forced to do that, and I don't like her much, well, not as much as others like her."

"And by others you mean?" Brett lifted her eyebrow.

"Uh, Fred had a thing with her last year. You know how it goes."

"Sure do."

"So anyway, it wouldn't be a date, you'd just stand there with me, dance with me once or twice, let me hold your hand, and pretend like you're actually enjoying yourself."

"I'll think about it."

"Good."

"Now, where have Raven and Fred gone to?"

*

Raven was walking to the Great Hall while Brett was walking out. Raven ran up to Brett with extreme excitement.

"Brett, you'll never guess what just happened!"

"An orangutan just made love to you?"

"No, not quite. But close. I was about to go pee when Fred came running into the bathroom and insisted I not use any of the stalls. It was so weird."

"Yeah, I wonder what's up."

George was walking less than ten steps behind the girls, and heard their little conversation. Immediately he began running through the halls towards the common room.

"I wonder what's up with him?" Raven asked.

"I dunno, he's a weird guy. He asked me to the Early Bird."

"What the hell is the Early Bird?"

"A dance."

"Psheeyah right... like anyone in this school could dance and have fun doing it," Raven said as she laughed uncontrollably, and people looked at her funny.

*

George ran into the common room and stood tall in front of Fred who was sitting down, sipping what looked like a margarita.

"Can I help you?" Fred asked, standing up slowly.

"What are you wearing?" George asked

"Oh you know, just my lounging robes." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigar.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Like the getup?" Fred asked, showing of his millionaire attire.

"Actually, yes, it's rather sharp looking."

"I thought so to."

All of a sudden George picked up a textbook and slammed it over Fred's head.

"Oi! What was that for you bloody ape?" Fred demanded.

"You told Raven about our prank!"

"I did no such thing."

"I heard Raven telling Brett just outside of the Great Hall, all about how you marched right into the girls bathroom, and told her she couldn't use the stalls."

"Exactly. But I didn't tell her why she couldn't use the stalls, now did I?"

"No, but you didn't need to, because when the mass population of this school finds out that we saran wrapped the toilets and everyone is making a big kafuffle about it, Raven and Brett will put two and two together and they'll figure it out. They'll know right away that it was us, and that you didn't want Raven to piss all over herself, so you told her not to go!" George was red in the face, with anger.

"Alright, calm down. So what, they figure it out, big deal, what's the issue? We get blamed for all the pranks around here anyway. It wouldn't be anything new, now would it?" Fred offered.

"Yeah, you're right I guess. But that reminds me, we're still not sure who pulled off that desk bit. We have no solid proof that it was Brett and Raven. I'm starting to think it actually might have been us, in our sleep, mate."

"It probably was, George. But anyway-"

"WAIT JUST A MINUTE!" George yelled out in a deep, bellowing voice. "Why did you feel the need to warn Raven about the toilets?"

"I didn't."

"Clearly you did, so don't lie. I see what's going on here. You fancy her, don't you?"

"No, I do not. I like nothing about her. Well, maybe her hair, it's so silky and smooth, and she's got nice teeth, really nice teeth. And she's really funny. But whatever. I assure you, I do not fancy Raven."

"Alright Fred, you keep telling yourself that."

"Okay, so I do fancy her, big deal, you fancy Brett."

"No I don't. How do you get that?"

Fred looked behind him to Harry and Ron who sat sheepishly smirking.

"Damn you two! You listened in when I asked her to the Early Bird, you bastards!"

George leapt after Ron, who had learned from previous experience to start running as soon as possible.

"Come back here, you PRAT!" George screamed and flailed madly at Ron.

Harry grabbed a pillow off the couch and threw it at George, then ducked for cover. Ron ran to the couch and sat with Harry.

"We're screwed mate! What now?" Ron asked.

Harry pulled the sweater off his back and gave it to Ron. "We'll get him all tangled up."

Fred, who couldn't resist a battle of wit, and offensive words, joined Harry and Ron behind the couch. Pillows flew aimlessly and furiously fast at the trio.

"Fred, what are you doing here? Usually you're attacking me, not helping me," Ron asked.

"Sometimes little brother, I like a challenge, and you are not a challenge," Fred explained cheekily.

Before Ron could become angry at Fred for insulting him, Harry cut in, "Fred, you go grab him, and Ron, you pull the sweater over him. Then I'll come over and tie the sleeves together in a knot, okay?"

They all agreed and Fred took his mark.

"Go, go, go, go!" Ron yelled out as Fred dashed from behind the couch towards his twin brother.

"Gahhhhhhhh blahyven Bloody Hell ahhhhh Raaaaaaaaa!" Fred chanted out his war cry as he slammed George's body to the ground.

"Have you got him?" Ron called, assuming that Fred had succeeded due to the lack of pillows being tossed his way.

"Yeah, come get him now, he's a squirmer!" Fred called back.

Ron ran out with Harry. Fred pulled George to his feet and Ron pulled the sweater over his head. Harry pulled the sleeves tightly across his back and knotted them several times, making sure it was not going to come undone anytime soon. They all looked at each other, and then Ron spoke.

"So what to do now?" Ron asked.

"Now we run," Fred said, as the three of them ran out of the common room.

George knew he had been defeated, but wasn't ashamed, as it had taken three strong guys to take him down. In fact he was proud of himself. However, he was stuck in this sweater, and needed some help out. He knew of only one person who wouldn't laugh.

*

"What the hell are you wearing?" Brett cried out. She fell over laughing and didn't get up for a solid ten minutes.

"Now, if you're quite finished, do you think you could untie me please?"

"Yes, I can do that."