The Real World: Hogwarts!

This is the true story (true story) of seven strangers (well, not exactly strangers) picked to live in a house. Work together, and have their lives taped. To find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real. The Real World: Hogwarts!

The group is back at the house and eating dinner, preparing for yet another night out. Ron still isn't in a good mood, and they're still trying to make him feel better...Hermione in particular because she feels responsible for the whole thing.

Hermione: Ron, I don't know why you're so angry. What's wrong with me snogging Draco?

Ron (bitterly): There are a million things wrong with it.

Hermione: Name one.

Ron: Well, er, um...

Hermione: You're stuttering Ron. I do believe I've caught you red-handed.

Ron (unconvincingly): What are you talking about?

Hermione (smirking): Oh don't play dumb. Actually, you might not be playing, hehe...

Ron: Listen to you! I don't have to sit here and take this!

Hermione: Ron, I now know for a fact that you have a huge crush on me. It's horribly obvious and it's been that way for a few years now.

Ron: I, I...have no idea what you're...

Hermione: Would you give it up already? It's not a big deal. Listen, I'll snog you tonight when we go to Volcano, all right? How's that sound?

Ron: Really, Hermione...

Harry (smacking Ron in the back of the head): Don't you dare turn her down, Ron. She knows you like her, mate, there's no more use in denying it.

Draco: Yeah Weasley, step up to the plate like a man. She wants you to snog her so snog her. After I do, that is, hehe.

Ron: Don't you smirk at me!

Ginny: Here he goes again.

Harry: Yep. Let's end this before it begins. Upstairs Ron, now, before you go psycho on us again.

Ron: I'm not gonna go psycho! Just stop that git over there from talking to me and I'll be fine.

Ginny: Yeah right.

Hermione: It's getting late, we should start drinking now.

Luna: Hermione's right.

Neville: I'm so ready to get wasted! (After he notices everyone staring at him) I heard it on television the other day. Apparently that's a Muggle phrase completely appropriate here.

Luna: I've never heard of it, but if you say so Neville.

Ron (gesturing for the alcohol bottle): Give me that. I'm getting pissy drunk tonight.

Harry: That's the spirit Ron.

Ron (taking a long swig, then a shot): Shut up, Harry.

Hermione: Save some for the rest of us, Ron!

Harry: Hermione, he's finally calmed down. Leave him alone.

Luna: There's more in the refrigerator, I think.

Neville: I've got dibs! Would you like to share with me, Hermione?

Hermione: Sure Neville.

Harry: What about me?

Ginny: Uh, and me!

Harry: I was planning on getting good and drunk tonight.

Luna (dreamily): It's all right Harry, I'm sure we all will.

Ginny: It's funny Luna, but I've never pictured you being drunk.

Luna: Do you think I don't know how to have a good time?

Harry: Come on Luna, get wasted! I want to see this witch drunk. (Harry took the bottle Neville held and handed it to Luna) Here, shoot this.

Luna obeyed and soon everyone else followed suit. As you can well imagine, everyone was pretty much trashed in less than an hour. Everyone's eyes a little more glazed (especially Ron's) they all put the finishing touches to their looks and then head out the door to Club Volcano.

Harry: Is this not awesome or what?

Ron: You're completely wasted, Harry.

Harry: And so? You are too.

Hermione: Wanna snog with Harry, Draco, and me?

Ron: Listen Hermione, I may be wasted beyond belief, but I'm not crazy.

Hermione: Oh come on Ron! It'll be fun.

Ron: NO! I'm not doing it and nothing you say will make me.

Draco: It doesn't matter Weasley; I don't want to snog you either.

Hermione: Ronald Weasley, you snog Draco right now or I'll hit you and break your skull just like Danny on "The Real World: Austin"!

Ron: Who the bloody hell is that?

Hermione: Just do it! Come on Ron, for me? How's this, I'll snog you for as long as you want afterward.

Ron: I dunno...

Harry: Oh come of it, she's offering you snogging! You've wanted to kiss her for ages.

Ron (leaning toward Draco with a look of fear and disgust on his face): Do I have to do this?

Draco (with the same look at Ron's approaching face): Yeah, does he have to do this?

Hermione: If you want to snog me, you have to show some respect for Draco and snog him too.

Ron: There are other ways to show respect!

Hermione (smirking): Not when you're drunk there aren't.

Ginny: Come on Ron, you can do it! Stop acting like you've got a stick up your arse!

Neville: Go on Ron!

Luna: Snog him, Ronald!

Ron: All right, all right! I don't need cheerleaders.

Ron snogs Draco slowly, then pulls away to let sink in what he just did. After Hermione gets her turn at snogging Draco and Harry as well, she turns to Ron to give him what she promised.

Ron: I should've started snogging you years ago!

Hermione: Shut up and kiss me!

Ron: (back to snogging Hermione)

Harry: It's about damn time.

Ginny: It sure is.

Draco: Well, looks like my snogging buddy's gone. Want to have a go, Potter?

Harry: Yeah sure, why not?

Luna: Neville...as long as everyone else is snogging, would you like to kiss me?

Neville: Uh, sure Luna!

Ginny: And who am I gonna kiss?

Harry: (coming up for air from snogging Draco) I'll kiss you when I'm done with Draco.

Ginny: Why don't we just make it a threesome?

Harry: Fine by me.

Draco: Whatever.

Now everyone in the group has a snogging partner, and the night goes on with these dancing and snogging drunk witches and wizards. Ron finally loosens up toward everyone (this is both due to the fact that he finally snogged Hermione and had alcohol in his system). At the end of the night they all go back to the house, exhausted from the night as usual.

Next time, on The Real World: Hogwarts...

Harry: Why do I have to work in Madam Puddifoot's?

Hermione (chuckling): Having bad flashbacks, are we?

Harry: Leave me alone, Hermione!

Ron: Hey, you know what they say; it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Ginny (laughing): Shut up Ron.