The Real World: Hogwarts!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Here's chapter four! We've hit some snags, but hopefully everyone is still having fun reading. I'm a little bit more experienced in writing now, so I'm gonna try to smooth it out as much as possible. Stick with me & I'm sure we can pull out a successful comedy. I think that's all I need to say here. R&R of course!

ADDITIONS TO DISCLAIMER: I don't own any part of "The Real World," its opening theme (at the beginning of the story), its directors, writers, & producers (Jonathan Murray [executive producer] & George Verschoor [director]) or MTV, and I am in no way affiliated with either of these. I also do not own nor am affiliated with "Finding Nemo" (Andrew Stanton [director] & Lee Unkrich [co-director]) in any way.

This is the true story (true story) of seven strangers (well, not exactly strangers) picked to live in a house. Work together, and have their lives taped. To find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real. The Real World: Hogwarts!

The group is in The Three Broomsticks, waiting on tea (and butterbeer) before their first day at their new jobs in Hogsmeade.

Harry: Why do I have to work at Madam Puddifoot's?

Hermione (chuckling): Having bad flashbacks are we?

Harry: Leave me alone, Hermione!

Ron: Hey, you know what they say mate: "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."

Ginny (laughing): Shut up, Ron.

Ron: You shut up.

Ginny: No, you shut up.

Ron: You shut up.

Harry (interjecting): You know, I really thought you were more mature, Ginny.

Ron (chuckling): Whatever gave you that idea?

Draco (groaning impatiently): Where's my damn tea?

Hermione: Why so aggravated?

Draco: Take a guess.

Hermione (glaring at him because of his unnecessary sarcasm): No.

Luna (reading The Quibbler upside down): Oh, look! Stubby Boardman A.K.A. Sirius is in the news again.

Neville: Let me see, Luna!

Harry: Why are you still reading The Quibbler upside down? Isn't that old puzzle long gone by now?

Luna: I suppose.

Hermione (in a low voice): She just gets weirder and weirder.

Madam Rosmerta (handing around drinks): Here you are.

Draco: Where's my butterbeer?? I ordered first!

Ron: Stop being such a prat, Malfoy.

Neville: Yeah, stop being such a prat.

Draco: Shut it, Longbottom, or I'll hex you.

Harry (cutting them off): Let's just finish our tea. We've got work in forty-five minutes.

Draco: Some of us don't have our tea...or in my case, butterbeer. Whatever.

Madam Rosmerta: It's coming right up dear.

Hermione (smirking): Patience is a virtue, Draco.

Draco: Don't give me your puns, Granger.

Hermione: Excuse me but I do have a first name. You seemed to know that last week when you were sticking your tongue down my throat.

Draco: Don't give me flashbacks either.

Hermione: This is stupid. We shouldn't be covering up our feelings for each other by bickering. We're too old for that.

Draco: Who said anything about feelings for you? You must be out of your mind.

Hermione (being slightly hypocritical): Fine, take the road of denial...see if I care!

Luna: You know, Hermione, you really ought to learn to control your temper a little better.

Hermione: Shut up, Luna.

Luna (smiling innocently): I'm just saying is all.

Hermione (irritably): Well you can stop saying.

Madam Rosmerta (interrupting Luna and Hermione): Here you are dears.

Harry: Thank Merlin for that; they were giving me a headache.

Ron: Tell me about it.

Luna: Well I'm off; I've got to get to Honeydukes.

Neville: Yeah, I've gotta go too.

Harry: No, you don't, Neville.

Neville (with a semi-silly look on his face): Yes, I do.

Ron: That's so conspicuous.

Harry (chuckling): Yeah I know.

Draco: Is Longbottom really that desperate?

Ron: You know, can stop referring to us by our last names.

Draco: To me, we're still Hogwarts students; you're still in Gryffindor and I'm still in Slytherin so I shouldn't be calling you by your first names.

Hermione (sighing): You're hopeless.

Ginny: I would leave, but I work here. I'll just make myself scarce for a moment to go punch the clock.

Harry: I might as well get to Madam Puddifoot's now - Hermione, are you sure you don't want to...

Hermione: Just go, Harry!

Harry: All right, all right.

Ron: I'm off to Zonko's then...see you all at the end of the day.

Draco: I dunno why I've got to work at the Hog's Head. It's so old and grimy and dirty...

Ginny (coming back to the table): Kind of like your father.

Draco (getting up): Shut up, Weasley!

All the housemates left for their designated jobs. After half a day of working, Harry finally got a short break and decided to visit his roommates.

Harry: I can't take it anymore, Hermione! It's like I'm suffocating; it's so stuffy in there and those tables just...and those tea cups...

Hermione: I think you were traumatized by your episode with Cho and to that I say: get over it.

Harry: That is so easy for you to say. You're working in a clothes shop; you get to sell robes all day long.

Hermione: Oh, and that's a day at the beach!

Harry: It's better than Madam Puddifoot's.

Hermione (to a customer, totally ignoring Harry): Can I help you? (Back to Harry) You should go.

Harry: Fine.

Harry then made his way to Zonko's Joke Shop to check on Ron briefly (he had only ten minutes left for his break). Not surprised, he found Ron was swamped and unable to concentrate.

Ron: Harry, save me! There are so many bratty little kids here. I can't take much more!

Harry (sarcastically): You can do it mate! You're doing a great job, keep up the good work.

Ron: I do not need your sardonic remarks right now.

Harry (chuckling): Not a good time for comedy eh?

Ron: No, it isn't.

Harry: Lighten up mate. I was only joking.

Ron: And this is a joke shop but you don't see me throwing Dungbombs around, do you?

Harry: Maybe you should; it might make you feel better.

Ron: I don't want to feel better. I just want to get this day over with!

Harry: You know, there is a strong possibility that you might have anger management issues.

Ron: Just go back to work!

Harry: Blimey, where are all these attitudes coming from? Fine, I'm off.

So Harry went back to Madam Puddifoot's to serve tea and coffee and stare at numerous couples hold hands and kiss over the tables. At one point, he thought he saw a Roger Davies look-a-like kissing a blonde girl across the table (a re-enactment of years prior) and Harry got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. What seemed like an eternity later, punch-out time was upon him. Harry hung up his apron and went down the road to meet Ron outside of Zonko's Joke Shop.

Ron: It was murder, Harry. I don't know if I can stand it for another five months...

Harry: You're telling me! Try Madam Puddifoot's sweltering little cubby-hole shop and then talk to me about unbearable.

Ron (laughing): Too bad you didn't understand girls back then...you'd have nailed it!

Harry: You know what, why don't we just drop it? (Quickly changing the subject) Hey look! Here comes Hermione.

Hermione: Hi boys, how'd it go?

Ron (with a scowl): Awful.

Hermione: Oh...I'm sorry to hear that.

Ron: How was Gladrags?

Hermione: Not bad...it's annoying fitting people though.

Draco (approaching, bringing his sarcasm with him of course): I bet.

Hermione: How was the Hog's Head?

Draco: I don't want to talk about it.

Ron: Good, we don't want to hear about it.

Neville (approaching with a huge smile): Hey guys! How was everyone's first day?

Hermione: The boys are being sensitive about theirs, but mine was all right.

Luna (approaching): That's too bad. We'll have to rectify that this weekend.

Neville: Yeah, Luna and I are planning a big party at Volcano on Saturday night.

Harry: It's a club, Neville, how would they not be having a party?

Neville: We're planning a special celebration. We're inviting special people, special décor, the whole nine.

Harry: I see.

Hermione: I think it sounds like a great idea.

Ron (muttering to Harry): Yeah, 'cause she can snog Draco some more.

Harry: Come off it; if you still like her that much, why don't you just tell her already? Honestly, you can be such a prat sometimes.

Ron: Bloody hell, you sounded just like Ginny.

Ginny (approaching): Who sounded just like me?

Ron: Nobody...

Hermione: Let's go home; we've got work again tomorrow.

The seven roommates went home and had dinner. Afterward, they all agreed to play a tournament of Wizard Chess, capped off with Exploding Snap and Gobstones. The Wizard Chess tournament ended up becoming quite brutal.

Ron: Harry, you can't do that.

Harry: Why not? I can move my Queen wherever I want, as long as it's within her range.

Ron: You'd be shoving my face into the dirt. That's just a cruel move.

Harry (smirking): So what if I want to shove your face into the dirt?

Ron: You're my best mate. That'd just be...wrong!

Harry: Stop being such a baby, Ron! This is Wizard Chess...it's a dog-eat-dog game.

Ron: You're such an arrogant git sometimes! Don't think I've forgotten fourth year, and you putting your name into the Goblet of Fire...

Harry: I didn't put my name in there you stupid great prat! If you're going to bring up idiotic stuff like that, I guess you haven't matured as much as I thought.

Ron: That may be but at least I play chess with a good amount of integrity.

Harry (getting up angrily and knocking chess pieces to the floor, which all squealed furiously): That's it!

Hermione: Boys, boys! Maybe you should take a break from each other.

Ron: I'm not talking to that git ever again!

Hermione: Honestly, Ron, don't you remember what happened last time you refused to talk to Harry?

Ron: This is different!

Hermione: Why, because he's meddling with the sacrosanct and consecrated pastime of wizard chess?

Ron (storming upstairs): Fine! Ugh, I need Firewhisky.

Harry: Oh no...Ron's becoming an alcoholic.

Hermione: Get over it, Harry. He's just pouting like an immature little git.

Harry: I know, but what can we do?

Hermione: Leave him alone for a couple hours and he'll come around. He just needs to blow off some steam.

Harry: You're right.

Hermione (beaming): Of course I am.

Harry: You're so predictable. Want to watch a movie?

Hermione (smiling): Sure.

Harry: Which one? Take your pick.

Hermione: I like "Finding Nemo."

Harry: Never seen it.

Hermione: All right then.

Ron (approaching): Hey...I'd like to watch it too.

Harry: Well look who's decided to get the wand out of his arse.

Ron (grinning slightly): I'm sorry okay? Give me a break.

Hermione: It's all right, you can watch with us.

Ron: "Finding Nemo"? What the bloody hell is this?

Hermione: Do you want to watch it or not?

Ron: Yeah, okay.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione went to the TV room and put in "Finding Nemo." Draco was off sulking in his room again; Neville and Luna were having some "private time"; and Ginny was reading. Yes, it was a boring night for the roommates, and it continued to be a dull and tedious work week. They welcomed Friday night with open arms not because they had a night of debauchery ahead of them, but because they were going to see a brand new film at the new cinema down the road from Madam Puddifoot's.

Harry: I can't wait to see this movie; it's gonna be great.

Hermione: I read the book it's based on.

Ron (smirking): Of course you did.

Draco: This is so stupid.

Ginny: I don't understand why you can't enjoy yourself here, Draco. It's not like you're being tortured.

Draco: I'd rather be put under the Cruciatus Curse.

Hermione: You only have fun when you're drunk and your inhibitions are gone?

Draco: Exactly.

Hermione: All right then, why don't you have a bit of Firewhisky before we go?

Ron: Hermione, don't encourage him!

Hermione: I'm encouraging him to have fun and ease up a little!

Draco: I'm not drinking that disgusting draught.

Hermione (brandishing a small cup-full): I'll never snog you again if you don't.

Draco: An ultimatum eh? Fine, give it here.

Hermione: Thank you. Now can you stop complaining?

Draco: I suppose, Hermione.

Harry: Yep, it's working.

Hermione: Okay gang, we're out of here; we've got to hurry if we're gonna get to the cinema on time.

Luna (dreamily): Oh, this is going to be absolutely brilliant!

Neville: It sure is, Luna!

With that, the roommates left the house and made their way to the cinema around the corner from Zonko's. Draco's complaining did lessen considerably and even Ron was in good spirits. They were done with work for the week, and they were beginning a wonderful weekend. Just when Draco almost started whining again about the long walk and Neville was panting slightly, they reached the cinema.

Hermione: This is great!

Harry: I've never been to a cinema this nice.

Ron: Blimey, why's it so crowded?

Harry: They're showing a brand new film, what do you expect?

Draco: I think the Firewhisky's starting to wear off.

Hermione: Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

Ginny: Come on, let's get our tickets.

Ron: What time does the movie start?

Hermione: In half an hour.

Harry: I hope we make it!

Ron: We will mate, don't worry.

Draco: I want snacks.

Harry (to Ron): That was random.

Ginny: Of course you do. Go on, we'll hold our spot.

Within twenty minutes Draco was back, and the roommates got their tickets. In the nick of time, they got into their theater in time for the start of the movie (not the previews). The movie ended rather late, so they tiredly walked back to the house and went straight to bed; they'd need their rest for the following night at Club Volcano.

Next Time, on The Real World: Hogwarts

Hermione: I told you; you can't resist my feminine charms while under the influence of Firewhisky!

Draco: You're absolutely right - snog me!

Ron (getting more sober by the minute): Bloody hell.

Harry: Let it go mate, let it go.

Ginny: Snog me, Harry!

STAY TUNED!

Be as the frog in the pond...and review ::Big Grin::