Discovering an Undiscovered Island

Discovering an Undiscovered Island

By: JoeBob1379

GILDEROY LOCKHART: DEAD! NEW BOOK RELEASED TODAY

"Mum! Mum! Come here! Come look at the front page of The Prophet! It's Gilderoy Lockhart!" seventeen year old Ginny Potter squealed excitedly. It was Saturday morning; she and her husband of six months were visiting her mum, brother, and his fiancé. The three of them lived in what everyone called "Weasley Headquarters."

Molly Weasley ran into the room, carrying the pan with eggs inside that she was just about to put on the stove. "Where? Let me see that!" She set the pan down. It fell, splattering eggs all over the floor. She grabbed the newspaper from her daughter, which gave Ginny a paper cut between her thumb and forefinger.

"Ouch!"

"It says that he's written a new book," Mrs. Weasley said, ignoring her daughter's cry of pain. Skimming through the article, she said, "Bla, bla, bla. The book will be called 'Discovering an Undiscovered Island.' Ooh, sounds interesting! Bla, bla, bla, yadda, yadda, yad- ooh! Ooh, look! 'Mr. Lockhart will be at Flourish and Blotts' this weekend to sign books and talk to the press!' Ginny, you and Harry go home and put some things together. Tell your brother and Hermione to pack a bag, also. We're going to stay in Diagon Alley this weekend. And bring your school list! You can buy your school things while we're there."

* * * * *

"Gilderoy Lockhart? I thought the git put a memory charm on himself! How did that lying idiot manage to get his memories back?" Harry Potter asked his two friends Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, her fiancé. Ron had just told him about how his mum had gone crazy over the article.

"Ginny's just as excited as mum. Didn't anyone ever tell her what a fraud he is?" Hermione asked.

"It never really came up. You've got to be strange if you walk around talking about men like him. Men who claim to do something someone else did, and get away with it because they modify the person's memory that really did it. You just don't converse about stuff like that," Ron said as he slipped an arm around Hermione's shoulders.

"We are," said Harry.

"Oh, shut up!" Ron said, glaring at Harry for ruining his point. "Let's go to the new joke shop, before she-," he nodded his head toward Hermione, "drags us into a bookstore."

Right then, some girl squealed, "Oh my gosh! He really is dead! Lockhart's really dead! Look, he's all transparent and floating in the air. How could this happen?" The rumor spread through town, and, within 15 minutes, just about everybody and their third cousin's guinea pig was at Flourish and Blotts'. They all were anxious to hear him speak.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sure you are all wondering how I, such a magnificent man, who has accomplished so much, could have been killed," began the ghost of Lockhart. "I will explain, but for a more detailed story, please buy my newest book, 'Discovering An Undiscovered Island.' Now, to make a long story short, I crashed onto an island. Looking at this picture, you can tell that this island was once covered in active volcanoes, and volcanism is obviously the way this island was created,"

"Mr. Lockhart?" Hermione interrupted. "It actually looks more like folding created that island, rather than volcanism."

"Well, that's not the point. What I am trying to say is, there were lots of volcanoes, as you can see in this picture." He held up a moving photograph of the whole island.

"Umm, there are no volcanoes, Mr. Lockhart." Hermione smiled at Ron and Harry.

"Well, anyway, I crashed on this island, and was immediately sucked into a river and carried to the top of a very big mountain."

"Rivers can't flow uphill!" Hermione whispered.

"At the top of this mountain, there was a colony of Cornish Pixies. They chased me down a U shaped valley, which was caused by a river, into an even bigger U shaped valley. The formation that it made is called a falling valley."

"No! It's called a hanging valley, not falling valley," someone said from behind them. "And U shaped valleys are formed by glaciers!"

"Oh, hi Aemilia, hi Draco," Harry said to the couple.

"Hi," said Draco.

"Wassup?" Aemilia answered. "My goodness, this guy is stupid!"

"I know!" said Hermione. "Hey, where's your sister?"

"She'll be here in a min-," Aemilia began, when Hermia interrupted.

"I'm here! I just had to go potty real quick,"

"That's lovely, thank you for sharing, Hermia," said Draco.

"He's about to say how he died," Ron, who was listening to Lockhart, informed them.

"... And I dropped my sword into the river, so I got out my wand, but he chopped it in half! So I fought the man with the sword barehanded. But I tripped! When I tried to get up, the bloody bastard kicked me off the edge! Luckily, I caught one of the rocks. When I had nearly climbed back up, he threw a pitchfork right at my heart!" As he said this, the crowd gasped. "I fell down the waterfall and landed on the sharp, pointy rocks at the bottom."

"I doubt the rocks were that pointy. The water would have eroded them to dull lumps. This guy is stupid," Hermia said to her friends.

"You got that right!" said Aemilia.

"Uh huh. He's pretty stupid," Agreed Hermione.

"This is a topographical graph of the island, so you can get an idea of how big the waterfall was. See, here it is," Lockhart said while pointing to a spot on the map.

"That map looks familiar. What does that say in the corner?" Aemilia used a magnifying spell and saw the words Aemilia, Alisha, Jacob on it.

"I can't believe it! He stole my seventh grade project, that's the island my group created. The whole thing is a fake. He never discovered that island! It doesn't exist," Aemilia said loudly so that the people around her could her. "Look in the corner at that map. That jerk left my group members' names on the top right corner."

"I'll bet he simply fell on a pitch fork and it killed him, what a weasel!" Ginny said.

"Probably," Mrs. Weasley agreed.

"Come on, love, let's go home," Harry said to his wife.

"Alright, we're going to go home, too." Draco said. "Hermia and Aemilia are staying with me this summer, instead of visiting their friends in America as they usually do. Bye everyone!"

"Bye! I'll see you two next month at school!" Ginny directed her last comment at her 15 year old, twin friends.

"See ya then!" Aemilia and Hermia replied.

"We should go home, too," Hermione said to Ron. "I want to get that application essay about why I would make the best Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher finished."

"But you've already used three rolls of parchment, and it only asked for 3 paragraphs! Besides, you know that Headmaster Dumbledore will give you the job," Ron said, exasperated.

"I know, but I just have to add a few more things. Come on, let's just go!"

"Okay, fine. Besides, I'm hungry!"