Dragon Tamer

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Dragon Tamer

Chapter 16: The Aftermath

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"Draco, please?"

"No, Harry! I'm not tired!"

Harry was sitting on his bed in Gryffindor tower trying in vain to get Draco to take a nap. Draco was standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed over his chest, cross expression on his face.

"Love..."

"No."

"Okay, look, you don't have to sleep, we could just cuddle," Harry suggested, and Draco looked at him suspiciously.

"Just cuddle?"

"Yes. Just cuddle."

Draco seemed to be wavering. "You promise?"

Harry traced an 'X' over his heart. "Cross my heart. Now come lay down with me, okay sweetie?" Harry knew that once Draco was back to normal he would once again be forbidden to use any pet names, so he was happily using them now.

Draco looked at him through narrowed eyes. "Can my bunny come?"

"But of course." Draco finally relented and lay down on Harry's bed, placing his head on Harry's chest. Harry immediately locked his arms around the blonde, determined not to let Draco go anywhere. He had already cast half a dozen locking spells on the door, hoping that Draco could just sleep off the rest of this crazy spell and save himself from doing any more damage to his reputation. He was prepared to bodily hold Draco down if he had to.

He didn't need to worry. Very shortly after Draco lay in Harry's arms his eyes had closed. Harry smiled. He missed his boyfriend, but he had to admit that this side of Draco was pretty damn adorable. He kissed the blonde on the top of his head.

"You are so cute, you know that?"

"Thank you," mumbled Draco sleepily, burrowing deeper into Harry's side, obviously drifting off to sleep. Draco Lucius Malfoy the Third was happily snuggled on Harry's chest in the crook of Draco's arm. Harry laid his own head against Draco's and closed his eyes. He wasn't going to fall asleep, it's just that Draco was so warm and comforting against him, and the bunny was soft and fuzzy on his chest, and Draco's breathing was slow and rhythmic, and -

Within minutes, Harry was fast asleep as well.

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Harry was woken up later by the return of his roommates and Hermione (who was still the only person who could break Harry's locking spells). Hermione and Ron had brought dinner for him and Draco, and he thanked them. He reassured Hermione that Draco was fine and they chatted a few minutes before she kissed him on the cheek, said goodnight and left. Harry pulled out his homework and was about to start when he found himself cornered by his roommates.

"Alright, Harry, time to spill." Ron said, plopping down on the foot of Harry's bed, and leaning against one of the posts, careful to avoid jostling Draco's legs and incurring Harry's wrath.

"What are you talking about, Ron?" Harry inquired, although he was quite sure he had a pretty good idea what Ron was about to say.

"How did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Harry, don't be daft." Dean had pulled up a chair next to the bed and was looking at Harry expectantly. "How did you make Malfoy here," he nodded his head at the blonde still sleeping next to Harry, "go 'round the twist?"

"Oh, that," Harry said nonchalantly, flipping through a textbook. He smiled to himself. Life was good.

Seamus was not letting Harry off the hook. "Yes, that," he said, snatching away Harry's book. "Come on, Harry. Details. What exactly did you do to him?" Seamus and Neville and even Trevor had joined the group, and all of them were apparently expecting to hear all the sordid details about Harry's afternoon.

Harry shrugged. "Oh, you know," he said enigmatically. "A bit of this, a little of that."

"HARRY!"

"Ron, shut up! I will kill you if you wake up Draco, he needs his sleep!" Ron rolled his eyes.

"I bet he does, after whatever you did to him, you beast. Now are you going to tell us or not?"

"Um, not."

"Oh, come on!"

"Ron, do you really want to know? I mean, won't you find it gross?"

Ron shook his head. "Harry, you don't understand. Shagging someone silly is really rare. Any grossness is covered up by the fact that I am dying to know how you pulled this off."

"You're just hoping to get ideas because you want to shag Hermione until she's crazy as a loon."

Ron blushed. "Yeah,well...so?"

"Well, as oddly appealing as the idea of seeing Hermione absolutely nutters is, my answer is still no."

"Harry, don't be such a prat. You can tell us about this. You can always tell us anything."

"Look, Dean, I'm not sure Draco would be comfortable with me discussing our sex life with you guys!"

"Draco's not exactly in any condition to protest, now is he?"

"Seamus, that doesn't make it right."

"Oh come on Harry, we're your friends! Where's the love?"

"Neville, not you too!"

All four of Harry's roommates started begging at the same. "OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE..."

"You guys, keep it down!"

But it was too late. Draco's eyelashes were fluttering open. Harry glared at his roommates, and then leaned over Draco. "Hey cutie, you waking up?"

Fast as lightening, Draco's hand shot out and grabbed the front of Harry's shirt, hauling him down to inches above Draco's face. "Potter," growled Draco menacingly, through narrowed eyes. "If you ever call me cutie again, I will rip your body apart with my bare hands and then force-feed you the pieces."

"Now there's the Malfoy we all know and love," Seamus said under his breath, as Harry merely leaned down and kissed Draco on the nose.

"Nice to have you back." Draco wrinkled his nose at Harry's kiss and glared at him.

"I haven't gone anywhere, you fuckwit." Draco was being his normal, charming self, who was apparently always a bit cranky when first woken up. He looked around. "Why are you all staring at me?" he snarled, and the other Gryffindors exchanged glances. How much did he remember?

Draco looked at them crossly. "Stupid Gryffindors," he mumbled, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. He looked at Harry. "You know, I had the weirdest, most vivid dream just now."

"Is that right?" asked Harry, the beginnings of a smile twitching his lips. "Why don't you tell me about it?"

Draco yawned and stretched. "Well, I was in the Great Hall, wearing your hideous Gryffindor tie, and I was hugging all those God-forsaken Gryffindors, and then something about Neville's toad, and a bunny, and I think I was singing at one point and -

Draco abruptly stopped, mid-stretch, and his eyes got very big. "Um...Harry?"

"Yes, love?"

"Why is there a bunny rabbit on the foot of your bed?" he asked, fear written all over his face. Harry smiled sweetly.

"Well, that's Draco Lucius Malfoy the Third, named after his owner and his owner's teddy bear." Draco's face paled.

"No," he said, shaking his head back and forth, "No, no, no."

"Look, Draco, it's okay, it's just -

"Nothing happened, Oh God, please tell me nothing really happened..."

"Um, love, you need to keep breathing here..."

"There's no fucking way that really happened. Oh God..."

"Okay, Draco, just calm down -

Draco was hyperventilating. "Oh my God, oh my God, no, it was just a dream, it was just a dream, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh no...

"Draco, breathe." Harry grabbed the blonde by the shoulders and looked into his face. "That's it, calm down, take a couple deep breaths..."

Draco looked wildly around the room at the amused faces of Harry's roommates. "Tell me it was a dream, oh God, please, someone, tell me it was a dream. Weasley? Please?"

Ron grinned at him. "Sorry, mate. Not a dream. It'd be a shame if it was, because I must admit, you sing very well. Never knew you fancied Madonna, though."

Draco went white as a sheet. "Fuck."

And with that he dove under the blankets.

"Draco?" Harry said, addressing the quivering lump under his comfortor. "Why don't you come out so we can talk about this?" The lump shook its head.

"I'm never coming out," mumbled the lump, its voice muffled through the comfortor. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Draco, don't be ridiculous."

"I'm dead serious."

"You can't stay under there forever."

"Watch me."

"You'll die of starvation."

"I'll take my chances."

"You'll mess up your hair." Draco slowly pulled the blankets off his head, and Harry grinned. He knew all his boyfriend's weak spots.

Seamus regarded the slightly disheveled blonde on the bed. "Malfoy, mate, it's not as bad as you think."

"Shut up, Finnagin!" Draco spat, looking murderous. "This is the most horribly embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. I hugged Gryffindors! I transfigured myself a pet bunny! I professed my undying love for Harry in front of the entire school and then I sang Madonna's "Like a Virgin!" My reputation as an evil bastard is completely ruined!" Draco buried his face in his hands in despair.

Seamus blinked a couple times. "Well...that might be true. But on the bright side every single person in the castle is madly jealous of you right now."

Draco looked up at him, glaring. "Oh, I see. Everyone else wishes they could have made total prats of themselves at dinner, is that it?"

"Not exactly, but at least everyone knows why it happened."

Draco covered his mouth. "Oh God, no. I forgot. I told the entire school Harry had shagged me silly, didn't I?" When the Gryffindors nodded their assent, he buried his head in his hands again and moaned. "Could this fucking get any worse?"

Ron looked thoughtful. "Well, it will probably be in the Daily Prophet tomorrow where everyone, including your parents, will read about it."

"FUCK!"

Draco dove back under the comforter and refused to come out again.

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It took several protective wards, a sealing charm on the hangings, a silencing spell around the bed and the promise of a hot dinner before Draco consented to show his face again. He finally removed the blanets and Harry handed him a plate, steaming hot courtesy of a warming charm.

"Thanks," Draco mumbled, digging in. "I'm starving."

"I should think so. You haven't eaten all day." The two ate in silence for a moment. Harry's irritated roommates could be heard complaining on the other side of the bed hangings, obviously feeling that they had been cheated out of rightfully deserved details and teasing. Harry and Draco ignored them.

The bunny hopped over the Draco and put his paws on his leg. Draco handed him a carrot and a broccoli stem, rabbit food being a thoughtful detail Hermione had not overlooked.

"So, what are you going to do about Draco Lucius Malfoy the Third?" Harry asked, curious. Draco looked at the rabbit rather fondly.

"Give him a nickname, for starters. Can't go around calling him Draco Lucius Malfoy the Third all the time, it's damn awkward."

Harry looked surprised. "Oh. Um, well, yes, yes it is."

Draco shot him a suspicious glance. "What, Potter? What did you expect me to say?"

"Well, truthfully I expected you to turn him back into a fork," Harry admitted. "Or, more likely, stew him, and then eat him with a fork."

Draco looked scandalized. "Are you mad? That's horrible! He may have started out life as a fork but now he's my pet!" He dropped a hand down to pet the bunny's back.

"Well, well. Draco Malfoy does have a heart. Will wonders never cease?"

"Shut it, you. Leave my bunny out of this."

Harry couldn't help but smile. "You're going to be ripped apart by the other Slytherins for this, you know."

Draco sighed. "Yes, well, I can handle them. Besides, I'll have my evil bastard reputation back in no time. I just have to kick a few puppies, terrorize the house elves a bit, and make a few first years cry. You know, routine Prince of Darkness stuff."

"Ri-ight," Harry said, rolling his eyes, but grinning. They finished up their meal and Harry insisted that Draco stay the night. He gave Draco a pair of pajamas and his invisibility cloak so he could make his way to the bathroom unseen.

Finally, the two were in bed together, with the bunny already curled up and asleep at the foot of the bed. Harry turned to Draco.

"So..." he said, suddenly feeling a bit shy. He looked at Draco, who was determinedly staring straight ahead of him. "It was really that good, then?"

Draco's face turned beet red. "HARRY!" He buried his face in his hands. Harry bit back the urge to chuckle. He had never really seen Draco embarrassed before, and he couldn't help but think it was absolutely adorable.

"You know, Draco," he said to the back of Draco's head. "It occurred to me that I'm not sure whether or not I should apologize. On the one hand, I did do something to you that made you go completely nutters and cause a huge scene in the Great Hall. On the other hand..."

"You gave me the most incredible shagging of my life and for that you shall have my undying gratitude," Draco finished for him, not looking up from his hands. Harry smiled a huge smile.

"Really?" Draco looked at him, incredulous.

"Well, obviously. Or I wouldn't have made a complete fool of myself, would I?"

Harry shrugged. "I guess. But it's nice to hear it from you." He reached out and wrapped his arms around the blonde, pulling Draco's back against his chest, and kissing his head. Draco sighed contentedly and began to relax into Harry's embrace.

"I'm still mortified, you know."

"I figured you would be."

"And tomorrow is going to be hell. Everyone is going to mock me."

"Quite possibly."

"And it doesn't help that you're being so damn smug."

Harry grinned. "Yes, well, I've rather think I've got a lot to be smug about, you know."

"Don't remind me." Draco sighed, feeling the exhaustion of the day setting in on him. He snuggled in close to Harry, who happily held him very tightly. After a few moments of silence, Harry leaned in and whispered in his ear.

"Do I really make you feel like a virgin?" he teased, and even in the darkness he could see the tips of Draco's ears turn pink as he buried his face into the pillow.

"Shut up," the Slytherin groaned, trying to cool his flaming face against the cool pillowcase. Harry just smiled. After another moment, he spoke again.

"Hey Draco?"

"What now?" he mumbled from the pillows.

"Did you mean it?"

"Did I mean what?"

"What you said...before you sang the song."

"Oh...that...um..." and here Draco turned the reddest he had been all evening and ducked his head completely under the pillow. "Maybe," he muttered at last, and Harry beamed.

"Good," said the Gryffindor, leaning down to kiss Draco's shoulder. "Because I love you too." And with that he wrapped himself tightly around his still embarrassed but now exuberantly happy boyfriend as they both drifted into the arms of Morpheus.

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Bright and early the next morning, while Harry and Draco were still fast asleep in each others arms, Lucius Malfoy was making his way through Malfoy Manor towards the kitchen. Plans for Draco's "birthday party" were underway, and Narcissa would be sending a letter detailing all her plans to Draco any day now.

Ha. All her plans. Luckily, no one knew anything about his plans. Muahahaha.

Lucius reached the kitchen, where the house elves already had a coffee tray waiting for him. He poured himself a steaming hot cup of dark, French Roast coffee and inhaled deeply. Ahhh. Nothing like the smell of coffee to compliment evil thoughts.

He took his coffee and sat down at the small kitchen table. Casting a furtive glance around and confirming that he was, indeed, alone, he pulled out some parchment and a quill and began to write a letter to his very good friend Professor Snape. Snape had access to certain...ingredients that could help ensure that his plans went smoothly. Unfortunately, Snape was also very fond of Draco, so Lucius had to be careful that Severus didn't suspect anything was amiss.

He tapped the quill against his mouth. He had to word this carefully. Severus had such a sharp mind, after all. A sharp mind that was complimented by those intense, glittering eyes. And all that thick, silky black hair. And his mysterious demeanor, and how very authoritative he could be, and how his robes billowed just so, and -

Um, right. Focus, Lucius.

Lucius began writing his letter.

My dearest, most darling Severus...

Ugh. Where did that come from? Lucius crumpled up the parchment and tried again.

Dear Severus, who, despite what Wicked Witch Weekly might say, I know to be the real Hogwarts Sex God...

Hmmm. Maybe not.

Dear Professor Snape...

I've been a very naughty Malfoy, yes I have. Maybe you could give me detention, Professor? Because I think I need to be disciplined, Professor. Because I'm a dirty, dirty boy. How about it, Professor? Huh, Professor? Why don't you give it to me? Oh, yes, oh, give it to me, oh gods right there, oh yes, oh, teach me a lesson, oh Professor Snape...

Lucius looked at what he had written in horror, then quickly crumpled up that sheet of parchment. He took a sip of his coffee. Maybe he'd give this whole 'letter to Severus Snape' thing another go later on.

Lucius was shaken out of his fantasies - uh, thoughts! THOUGHTS! - a few moments later by the arrival of his morning newspaper. Ah, perfect timing. He could really use a distraction right now. But not because he was thinking about Snape. Because he wasn't. No sir. He really, really wasn't. Really.

He paid the owl and unfurled the Daily Prophet.

The fine, delicate, china cup of that delicious French Roast coffee fell unheeded from Lucius Malfoy's hand as he stared in complete shock at the front page article.

Oh. Holy. Fuck.

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Far from Malfoy Manor, where Lucius was now screaming bloody murder, Harry Potter was waking up, wondering for a moment why he felt like so amazingly self-satisfied. He looked over at the blonde sleeping next to him and it all came rushing back to him. He smirked smugly. It was official now. He was a sex god. He was Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived-to-Rock-Draco-Malfoy's-World. Ha. He would bet all the galleons in his Gringott's account that old Voldemort had never shagged anyone silly.

He watched Draco sleep for a moment, then gently shook his shoulder. "Draco? Draco, wake up." Draco groaned and rolled onto his back.

"What, Potter? Why are you waking me up so damn early? For Merlin's sake, this had better be good," he mumbled, voice still thick with sleep.

"If you get up now, we can sneak out before any of my roommates wake up," Harry replied.

"And why would I care about that?" Draco muttered, rolling on his side away from Harry. Harry grinned and leaned down over Draco, mouth inches from his ear.

"I made it through the wilderness..." he sang, and Draco's eyes flew open.

"Shit." Draco pulled the covers over his head. "You know, I think you're going to have to go on without me."

"No can do, blondie. You're getting up, and we're having breakfast in the Great Hall. Come on, then."

"Sod off, Potter. I've just decided to stick to my original plan of never coming out from under your comfortor ever again."

Harry sighed. "You're not leaving me with many options here, Malfoy. Now get up or I shall be forced to take drastic action."

"Ha! Do your worst," Draco taunted from under the blankets.

"Fine then, but don't say I didn't warn you." In one fluid motion Harry ripped the covers off of Draco's head, flipped him on his back, and straddled his chest, pinning him down.

"Potter, get off me!" Draco yelped, struggling, but he was no match for the determination of the wizard on top of him.

"Nope," said Harry, bending down over him. He began kissing Draco all over his face. "You" kiss kiss kiss "are so cute" kiss kiss kiss "when you're grumpy."

"UGH! Yuck! STOP IT! NO calling me CUTE!" Draco was thrashing under Harry but Harry wasn't letting him go anywhere.

"You" kiss "are" kiss "absolutely" kiss kiss kiss "adorable" kiss kiss "in the morning."

"Potter, you will cease this immediately! Oh, come on! STOP!! Let me go!! HAAARRRYY!!!"

"Awww, who's my cranky little dragon?"

"NOOOO! Oh, God, alright! ALRIGHT! You win! I'm getting up." And after Draco leveled a very icy death glare in Harry's direction, the two got up and made their way to the showers.

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They paused outside the Great Hall, Draco dressed from head to toe in Harry's clothes except for his Slytherin cloak and tie. Harry privately thought about foregoing breakfast and having Draco to eat instead, but he knew that delaying the inevitable would just make things worse when they finally had to face everyone.

Next to him, Draco had set his face in its usual cold, sneering mask. He was a Malfoy, damn it. No one was going to mock him for having a good shag. No one. He took a deep breath, and nodded at an amused looking Harry, and the two walked into the Great Hall together.

Conversation came to a screeching halt as the entire crowd fell silent to stare at the two boys walking in. Draco glared.

"Not one word from any of you," he snarled, "Or I'll curse you so hard that your grandchildren will feel the effects."

Nobody said a word. Harry and Draco cautiously made their way towards the Gryffindor table, Harry torn between amusement and protectiveness and Draco still glaring full strength at everyone in the Hall. They were about to take their seats when a lone, brave voice from the Hufflepuff table piped up.

"Like a virgin..."

And that did it. The entire hall burst out laughing again, and Draco flung himself into a seat and buried his head in his arms.

"My life is ruined," he moaned. "I'm a laughing stock. No one will ever fear me again." Next to him Harry just grinned.

"Oh, it'll blow over eventually. In the meantime, have some breakfast." Draco just shook his head, keeping his face hidden in his arms, so Harry dished him up some food as they were joined by the rest of the seventh-year Gryffindors.

A cheerful round of morning hellos were shared by everyone except Draco, who adamantly refused to look up. Ron prodded at him.

"Come on Malfoy. Aren't you at least going to say good morning?"

"Fuck off and die," replied Draco into his arms.

"You know, you're being terribly rude," Ron said, highly amused.

Harry smiled at his friends. "He's still a bit...touchy right now. He's not really a morning person, you know."

"God damn it, Potter," Draco snapped, finally looking up. "I am too a morning person. Or at least, I was, until the unfortunate occurrence of my mornings becoming saturated with mentally stunted fuckwits like yourselves."

"I see what you mean, Harry. He is touchy."

"Weasley, you little shit, prepare to die." Draco drew his wand but he was cut off by the arrival of Lavender, Parvarti, Susan Bones and Hannah Abbott., who were all wearing suspiciously low cut blouses under their robes and were crowding around Harry eagerly.

"Good morning, Harry," said Parvati, but that was as far as she got before Draco snapped.

"Get AWAY from him, you harpies! I am having the worst morning of my life and I would welcome the chance to curse the lot of you!" Draco snarled, and the girls backed up a step. "That's right! I said LEAVE! Get the hell out of here! NOW!" The girls scattered and ran. Draco raised a hand to his forehead.

"This is it. I've reached rock bottom. I am the laughing stock of the entire school and my former arch rival has women throwing themselves at him. It's official. I can sink no lower."

At that moment, Owl post arrived.

"Oooh, look at the Prophet, Malfoy! There's an article about you and Harry on the front page!"

Draco groaned. "Oh, goody. I was wrong." He held out his hand and Seamus handed him the paper. Draco looked at it in trepidation, Harry reading over his shoulder.

Yikes.

The article, which was oh-so-tastefully titled Boy Who Lived Shags Malfoy Heir Silly, featured a huge picture of Draco taken at some point during his "Like A Virgin" performance, and showed him dancing in front of the Great Hall, belting out lyrics while students cheered and the staff looked on in horror.

"Good God," said Harry, appalled. "Can they print that?"

Ron shrugged. "Unfortunately, yes. They're the only real wizarding newspaper, they can print any trash they want."

Draco skimmed the article. "It's all in there," he said weakly, watching the picture of himself moonwalk in front of the staff table. "Every last stupid thing I said or did last night." The Gryffindor boys eyed him with actual sympathy.

"Sorry mate," said Ron commiseratingly. "If it's any consolation, the Prophet has printed horrible articles about Harry millions of times, and it all blows over eventually. This will too."

Draco was rubbing his temples. "No, you don't understand. The worst is yet to come."

"What do you mean?" Harry queried, but Draco just pointed to the ceiling. His eagle owl was swooping towards the table with a bright red envelope in his claws.

"Oh," said Harry, wincing for Draco's sake. The owl dropped the Howler in front of Draco, who opened it with shaking hands.

"DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY!!!" Lucius Malfoy's amplified voice filled the entire Hall. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING??? I'M SITTING DOWN, HAVING A CUP OF COFFEE, TRYING TO WRITE A LETTER, ONLY TO FIND MY SON ON THE COVER OF THE DAILY PROPHET FOR BEING SHAGGED SILLY BY THE BOY WHO LIVED!! THE BOY WHO LIVED!!! "

Everyone at the Gryffindor table was wincing and covering their ears, but Lucius Malfoy's voice went on.

"YOU ARE A MALFOY!! YOU HAVE A REPUTATION TO UPHOLD! MALFOYS ARE COLD, MALICIOUS BASTARDS WHO SNEER AT THE UNFORTUNATE AND EAT HAPPY PEOPLE FOR BREAKFAST!! THEY DO NOT PRANCE ABOUT HUGGING PEOPLE AND SINGING MADONNA AND SHAGGING HARRY SODDING POTTER!!

YOU ARE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE, DRACO MALFOY! YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL THE HOLIDAYS! WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A VERY LONG TALK ABOUT PROPER BEHAVIOR FOR A MALFOY!! AND FROM NOW ON YOU WILL SEE TO IT THAT YOU CONDUCT YOURSELF WITH DIGNITY!! I WILL NOT HAVE MY SON MAKING HEADLINES LIKE THIS!!!

AND FOR YOUR SAKE I HOPE YOU GOT RID OF THAT RIDICULOUS BUNNY!!

And then, in a slightly softer voice, Lucius went on. "Oh, and um, your mother says to tell you hi, and she hopes you liked the brownies she sent you, and she, uh, thinks your bunny is cute, and um...she's really looking forward to meeting Harry."

And finally: "Oh, and tell Severus I say hi."

And with that the letter burst into flames. A stunned silence, and then an eruption of whispers filled the hall.

Draco took a deep breath. "Right. Well. I think I'll just be going. If anyone needs me I'll be hiding under a rock somewhere." He stood up to leave.

Harry grabbed his arm. "Wait, love, it's okay, really. Look, I'll come with you, we can hide somewhere together and -

"Oh no," said Draco, backing up in alarm. "I don't think so. Not you. In fact, I don't think I want you anywhere near me."

"What are you talking about?"

"Potter, you are not allowed to so much as snog me until I'm assured that there won't be a repeat of last night."

"WHAT?? You can't be serious."

"I'm dead serious. I'm not making a fool of myself like that again. I'm sure there's a way around it, and you better find it."

"But Draco, I don't have a clue where to begin. Come on, I'll hold back, I'll -

"No," said Draco firmly.

"But I don't know what to do," Harry whined, upset at the turn this conversation had taken. Draco just shrugged.

"Go find your brainy little friend Granger and get her help, then. I'm not changing my mind. No sex until we have a cure."

And with that he left, leaving behind a stunned and open-mouthed Harry behind. He looked at his roommates in utter shock and horror, and then -

"HERMIONE!!!"

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