Dragon Tamer

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Dragon Tamer

Chapter 14: Kinky-Monkey Sex

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"ARRGGGHHHH! My eyes, MY EYES!!"

Harry woke up with a start, completely confused. Who was screaming? Where was he? What was going on? He rubbed his eyes and felt a body next to him, and suddenly it all made sense. He was in his bed in Gryffindor tower, Draco was snuggled up against him, and both of them were completely naked under the blankets. The hangings on his bed had been opened by someone, and that meant that the screaming voice belonged to -

'Ron! RON! Calm down. For God's sake, what on earth is the matter with you?" Seamus and Neville were apparently up and out of the room already, but Dean Thomas was making a valiant effort to calm Ron down. Dean got out of his own bed to see what was the matter, took one look at the pair in the bed and promptly started screaming himself.

"ARRGGGHHHH! My eyes, MY EYES!" He clutched at his eyes as if to tear them out of their sockets, and he and Ron fell in a dramatic heap on the floor, moaning and screaming as if the world were coming to an end.

Harry gave them both a scathing look. "Would you two kindly shut up? You're going to wake up Draco," he scolded his roommates, wrapping a protective arm around the blonde in his bed who was currently burrowing into Harry's side to escape the noise. Dean and Ron gave each other meaningful looks.

"You like that, Dean? Here we are, Harry's best mates, subjected to such a horrible sight first thing in the morning, and he chews us out because we might wake up Draco," Ron said, speaking the words "wake up Draco" in a high-pitched, mocking voice, and Dean chuckled. Harry glared at them both as Draco poked a sleepy head up from Harry side.

"What's going on?" he demanded, flaxen hair sticking up all over the place, rubbing his eyes drowsily. "Why is everyone shouting?"

Dean snorted. "Oh, look, now you've done it, Ron. You've gone and woken up Harry's little dragon, and he looks very grumpy." Draco sent him a haughty, insulted stare.

"I am no one's 'little dragon,'" he sniffed, trying to sound very superior and affronted but failing miserably as he was still very sleepy. "And if I'm grumpy it's because I've been woken up by two complete morons spouting the most inane prattle I have ever had the misfortune to hear," he finished, attempting to send the offending Gryffindors an icy Malfoy death glare.

Now, a fully awake Malfoy casting an icy death glare is usually cause for alarm, and at the very least is definitely most intimidating. However, a sleepy Draco with no shirt and very messy hair still snuggling in the arms of Harry Potter attempting to send you a death glare is not nearly as scary. Indeed, Harry was fighting back a grin, and Ron and Dean were not the least bit daunted.

"Awww, did you hear that, Dean? The little dragon's cranky," Ron cooed, and Draco narrowed his eyes.

"If you idiots don't shut up already I will be forced to cast a couple of Unforgivables in your general direction. Don't think I don't know how," he glared, and Dean gave him a look akin to how someone might look at a hissing kitten.

"Well, look who's not a morning person," he tossed in the direction of the bed, and Draco looked mad enough to spit. He reached for his wand but was stopped when his wrist was intercepted by Harry.

"Don't even think about it," said Harry, holding his wrist firmly.

"But Haaa-rrry," Draco whined.

"Don't you 'but Harry' me. There will be no Unforgivable curses cast at this ungodly hour of the morning."

"Oh, come on, Harry! Just one little Crucio?"

"No."

"An Imperio, then? Please? Pretty please?"

"Absolutely not."

"Okay, it doesn't have to be an Unforgivable, maybe just a Severing Charm? Jelly-Legs? The Furnunculus Curse? I'm flexible."

"Draco, I said no."

"Fine," Draco sulked. "Spoilsport."

"Look, I'm not going to let you cast curses and hexes at my roommates just because you happen to be cranky in the morning."

"I'm not cranky in the morning," Draco scowled crankily. "I just happen to be extra tired this morning because someone wouldn't let me go to sleep last night," he finished with a very pointed look at Harry, who merely grinned back at him unapologetically.

"What can I say, love? I just can't control myself around you. I find you irresistible," he answered, rolling on top of Draco to kiss him thoroughly. Ron and Dean immediately resumed their screaming.

"ARRGGGHHH! My ears, my poor ears!"

"My eyes! MY EYES! They'll never recover! Oh, the humanity!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Honestly, you two are such drama queens. If it bothers you so much then we'll take it to the showers. Come on, Draco, let's go."

"Um, Harry?"

"What?"

"Well, I'd love to join you in the shower, but first we might want to..." he leaned up and whispered in Harry's ear. Harry listened for a moment then nodded.

"Ah yes, I'd forgotten. Hey Ron, Dean, think you could toss us a couple of towels before we get out of bed? We're kind of naked under here."

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"

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Needless to say, it took a little while for Ron and Dean to gather their composure and pass Harry and Draco the necessary towels so that they could make their way into the bathroom. Once they finally got there, Harry started the water and they climbed in together.

Harry wrapped his arms around Draco from behind and drew him in close. "You are so unbelievably cute first thing in the morning, did you know that?" he asked, nibbling on an ear.

"God damn it, Potter, what have I told you about calling me cute?" Draco wasn't quite over his morning crankiness yet. He pulled out of Harry's grasp and gave him a scathing look. Harry just smiled at him and reached for the shampoo.

"Can I wash your hair?" he asked, and Draco looked at him slightly incredulously.

"You want to wash my hair? Why?" Harry shrugged.

"I like your hair," he said, pouring some shampoo into his hand. "Please?"

"Oh, very well. If you must." But Draco was smiling now. Harry lathered him up, working very tenderly. He was still a little concerned about Draco's injuries from the night before.

"Hey Draco?"

"Hmmmm?" Draco's eyes were closed and he was leaning back against Harry, enjoying the feel of the Gryffindor's hands massaging his scalp.

"I'm not hurting you at all, am I? I mean, do you have any lingering bruises or anything? Please tell me if anything hurts, okay?"

"I'm fine, Potter, honestly. I'm not made of glass. If I were, I think you would have broken me last night, don't you?"

Harry had the grace to look a little sheepish. "Oh yeah. Right." He directed Draco under a shower head and gently rinsed his hair. Then he stepped back slightly and took a second to stare appreciatively at the naked, dripping wet wizard. "Hey Draco, has anyone ever told you that you're astoundingly hot when you're all wet?"

"Well, yes, of course. Obviously. But it's nothing I didn't already know," Draco replied, earning himself an eye-roll from his boyfriend. Harry reached over and grabbed some shower gel, lathering up a loofah.

"Come here, you narcissistic little prat," he said, reaching for Draco. Ignoring the blonde's insulted sputters, he began washing him gently. Draco sighed and leaned back against Harry again, enjoying the affection. However, Harry's ulterior motives became clear to Draco pretty quickly as Harry's hands dropped lower and he felt the dead giveaway against his body.

"Oh no, not again. I paid my debt to you last night, and now you are going to give me a break," he said firmly, removing Harry's hands from his body and turning around to face the brunette.

Harry was not happy.

"But Draaco," he began and Draco looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Are you whining, Potter?" he asked, amused.

"No," Harry replied resentfully, looking for all the world like a six-year old who'd just been told he couldn't have dessert. Draco had to fight back a laugh.

"Yes, you are. You were whining, and now you're pouting," he pointed out, and Harry looked at him crossly.

"Shut up, Malfoy. Don't make fun of me just because you have no stamina." Draco raised his eyebrows higher.

"I think after last night I proved I have plenty of stamina, thank you very much. And insulting me is not really the best way to get me to put out, you know," he replied, more amused then ever. Harry glared at him.

"Fine. Be that way," he said petulantly. "You're such a girl." Draco's mouth fell open.

"WHAT??"

"You heard me."

"You better not have said what I think you said, Potter."

"I'll tell you what I said. I said you're such a girl. You're a horrid little tease, you're constantly primping, you're moody and pouty and you won't give it up. Sounds like a girl to me."

"You can just shut the hell up, Potter. I'll show you how much of a girl I am," he snarled, grabbing Harry's wrists and locking them behind his back, pressing the Boy Wonder up against the tiles of the shower wall and smothering him in an aggressive kiss. He completely missed the smirk of triumph that crossed Harry's face.

"Hey Malfoy, I thought you told me you weren't putting out?"

"That's funny, because I could have sworn what I told you was to shut the hell up," Draco countered, thrusting a hand between their bodies, and that was the last thing either of them said for quite awhile.

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By the time everything in the shower was said and done, Draco and Harry had to make a run for it to avoid being late. Draco didn't see Harry again until their last class of the day, where Harry stumbled in with Ron and Hermione seconds before class started, narrowly missing a detention from Snape. He dropped into his seat next to Draco and resisted the urge to kiss him hello, figuring Snape probably wouldn't like that too much.

"Hey you," he smiled at Draco, who looked, in his opinion, absolutely delicious in Harry's clothes, which he had to borrow since there wasn't time for him to return to his dormroom. Draco smiled back, his smile becoming rather smug when Harry winced slightly and shifted in his seat. No smarmy comments about Draco's gender now. Harry noticed his expression and narrowed his eyes.

"Do you have to look so damn smug, Malfoy?" he whispered, keeping an eye on Snape.

"Oh please, Potter, quit your whining. It's your own fault, you goaded me into it. Don't think I didn't know what you were doing." He was aware that he had been beautifully manipulated by Harry in the shower, but he was alright with that. Slytherins could handle manipulation.

Harry just rolled his eyes and made another face. "Just don't be surprised if the next time we're alone I decide to repay the favor."

"Oh please do. I like it rough," Draco whispered, still feeling rather proud of himself.

"I bet you do, you dirty bitch." Draco snorted, but quickly went back to looking immersed in his notes as Snape glanced in their direction.

The rest of class passed smoothly, and afterwards Snape motioned for them to stay behind. When everyone had left, Snape asked them to sit down, and Draco had to choke back his laughter when Harry politely declined.

Snape got right to the point. "You'll both be happy to know that Terry Boot has been expelled and charged with sexual assault, and he will stand trial as soon as he is able."

"As soon as he is able? What does that mean?" Harry asked, and Snape looked at him, slightly incredulous.

"Well, Mr. Potter, since you seem to have the memory of a Cornish pixie let me enlighten you. He is at St. Mungo's, where he will remain for the next few days until they heal all of his injuries. The injuries which you gave him, I might add."

"Oh. Right." Harry didn't look sorry in the slightest. "Why St. Mungo's? Why not the hospital wing here?"

"The consensus was that Boot would be safer if he wasn't where you or Draco could find him. You did quite a number on him, you know." Snape gave him a half-exasperated, half-impressed look. Harry narrowed his eyes and looked rather menacing.

"I did warn him. He never should have messed with Draco," he said, wrapping an arm around the blonde and drawing him close. Draco had to work hard to keep a smug, satisfied smirk off his face. It was good to be the boyfriend of the Boy-Who-Lived. "Personally, I think he got off easy. He's lucky I only gave him a few bruises." Snape silently agreed.

Draco gave Snape his most innocent, angelic look. "What ward did you say Boot was in again?"

Snape had been a Slytherin waaay too long to fall for that trick. "Nice try. I'm not going to tell you. And I have already written to your father with the details of the situation, and informed him that under no circumstances will he or any of his cronies be allowed near Terry Boot. So don't think you can send your father to curse him with any of those...special curses you Malfoys are so famous for."

"Draco, you wouldn't!" Harry's Gryffindor nature was rather shocked.

"Of course not! As if I was thinking any thing of that sort," Draco said indignantly, but the sulky look on his face gave him away. Snape looked at him fondly.

"He's going to prison, Draco. That is enough."

Harry slowly nodded his head. "He's right, you know. As much as I hate Boot and want him to suffer, I'm sure Azkaban will be punishment enough. Thanks for filling us in, Professor." He turned to leave, but the instant Harry's back was turned Snape mouthed "Dai Llewellyn Ward" at Draco, who smirked very evilly.

"Draco?" Harry asked, pausing at the door.

"Coming, love!" And by the time Harry saw his face, Draco was all innocent smiles again.

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After dinner Draco and Harry could be found in the Gryffindor common room, Harry sprawled on a couch in front of the fire watching Draco give Ron a run for his money in chess. Hermione was (surprise, surprise) doing homework. The common room was unusually empty.

"Where is everyone?" Hermione finally asked, looking around and frowning. Draco didn't even look up from his chess game to answer her.

"It's Tuesday, Granger."

Hermione, Ron and Harry all looked confused. "What does that have to do with anything?" Ron asked. Draco rolled his eyes.

"You three are unbelievable sometimes. It's Tuesday, so all your little Gryffindor friends are in the Charms classroom."

"Why would they be in the Charms classroom?" Harry asked.

Draco looked at him pointedly. "Your fan club meets every other Tuesday in the Charms classroom, Potter." Harry's mouth formed a silent "oh" and he grimaced.

"What on earth do they do, anyway? How could anyone possibly hold a meeting about me every other week?"

Draco looked at him fondly. Harry was really charmingly disparaging about his fame.

"Well, they could be telling stories about your defeat of the Dark Lord. Or they could be working on new items for their catalogue. Blaise did mention he had a wonderful idea for a new line of t-shirts to sell."

Hermione shook her head in exasperation, and Ron and Harry both looked slightly ill. Draco grinned fetchingly at Harry. "Most likely, though, they'll be dissecting that article from Wicked Witch Weekly. There's enough racy stuff in there to keep them occupied for quite some time, I'd imagine." Harry paled considerably.

"Oh dear God." He looked over at Draco, who was obviously trying not to look pleased and glared. "Draco Malfoy, you don't regret making that stuff up at all, do you? It's entirely your fault and you're not even sorry."

"Gee, Potter, what gave it away?" Draco's eyes were sparkling in amusement. To Harry's surprise, so were Ron's.

"You have to admit, Harry, it is rather funny," Ron mentioned, looking at Draco with an oddly approving look.

"RON!" Hermione and Harry were aghast. Ron shrugged.

"Oh, come on. Detention with the Potions Professor? That was brilliant."

"You know, Weasely, I think I'm starting to like you," Draco drawled, and Ron just winked at him. Harry looked on in horror.

"Well, I'm glad you two have...bonded over my humiliation," he spat, sending filthy looks to the chess-playing pair, who ignored him. "And I'll have you know, Draco, that I haven't finished with you yet. I fully intend to punish you for your role in that stupid article."

"Is that right? What are you going to do to me, Potter? Ground me? Take away my allowance? Send me to bed without dessert?" Draco was smirking. Harry glared harder.

"Shut up, Malfoy."

"No really, Potter, I'm dying to know. Planning to make me stand in the corner? Ooooh, I know, how about a spanking?"

"Don't tempt me."

"Well, you did say the next time we had a go we'd play rough." Hermione gave him an appalled look.

"Harry! You didn't really say that, did you?" she asked, scandalized, and Harry felt himself beginning to blush.

"Draco, would you please shut up?" Not a chance in hell. Draco was having too much fun.

"You didn't know that Harry was such a kinky bastard, did you Granger? Well, he is. He can be quite dominating, you know, and sometimes he speaks parseltongue in the bedroom, and he also knows a wicked little spell for handcuffs, and -

"That is quite enough out of you," Harry said crossly, pointing his wand at Draco and uttering a silencing spell. Draco's mouth fell open in outrage. Harry turned to Hermione and said sweetly, "Don't listen to a word he says, Hermione. He was making it all up just to freak you out."

"Thank God. I was getting rather worried for a minute there." Draco's eyes got very big and he started shouting something, but of course, no one could hear him. Ron gave him a sympathetic look.

"Sorry mate. Harry does this kind of stuff sometimes." Draco stood up from his chair and marched over to glare at Harry, crossing his arms over his chest and tapping his foot impatiently. He mouthed something that probably was supposed to be either threatening or insulting, but the effect was rather lost with the silence.

"I'm sorry, Draco, what was that? I couldn't hear you." Draco narrowed his eyes and promptly smacked Harry upside the head.

"OW! Honestly, Malfoy, how is hitting me going to make want to take the spell off you?" Draco whirled around in a huff and sat down on the opposite end of the couch, refusing to look at Harry. As cute as he always thought Draco was when he was sulking, Harry finally took pity on him and removed the spell, bracing himself for the lecture he knew he was about to get.

"A silencing spell? A SILENCING SPELL?? You have some nerve, Potter. How could you?" Harry shrugged.

"You deserved it." Draco gave him a disbelieving glare.

"I deserved it? That's all you have to say for yourself? Harry James Potter, I think you might be the one getting the spanking tonight."

Harry's retort never came because at that moment the common room door opened and a crowd of Gryffindors flooded in, all fresh from their HPFC meeting. Draco gave Harry a very wicked glare and stood up. He grabbed Harry's hand and promptly dragged him over to the newcomers.

"Finnigan, how was the meeting?" Draco asked Seamus, in a deceptively friendly voice. Harry suddenly felt a bit nervous.

"Oh, it was great, wait till you see the new t-shirt Blaise has designed, we're going to wear it at the next Quidditch match. It's brilliant. Blaise is absolutely brilliant." Draco ignored the dreamy tone in Seamus's voice at that last line and merely smiled.

"That's just great," Draco said in a loud, cheery voice. "Listen, Harry and I are just off to have a bit of wild, kinky-monkey sex. He's going to pretend to be Professor McGonagall and I'm going to be Filch. We want to borrow Crookshanks so we can pretend he's Mrs. Norris. Have you seen him anywhere?" Nobody said a word. The common room was eerily silent as mouths dropped and eyes widened. Seamus appeared to be having trouble speaking.

"No idea, then? That's a real shame. Well, come on, Harry, let's get going. We still have to find you a collar and a leash and get the peanut butter and olive oil from the kitches, and you know how Snape gets when we keep him waiting." And with that he pushed the a protesting, sputtering Harry Potter out of the common room in front of him.

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"Draco Malfoy, I can't believe you just did that." The pair of boyfriends had paused in an empty corridor not far from the Slytherin dungeons. Draco put on an overdramatic, contrite expression.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Harry, I really really am," he drawled, amusement evident in his every word. He held out a hand in front of him so Harry could slap his wrist. "Here, teach me a lesson. I've been a very bad boy." Harry merely raised his eyebrows and gave him a rather wicked smirk.

"Yes, you have, but no thank you. I've thought of something better." Draco maintained a bored expression on his face, but inside felt a little nervous.

"Oh really? And what's that?"

Harry just smiled angelically. "You'll find out tomorrow. Now come on, let's go. I'll walk you back to your common room." They started walking again, Draco casting suspicious glances in Harry's direction every so often. They reached the bare stretch of stone wall that housed the opening to the Slytherin common room, and Draco turned to look at Harry.

"Seriously, Potter, what are you planning to do?"

"Seriously, Malfoy, you'll find out tomorrow. Now be a good boy and go to bed." He pecked Draco on the forehead and began to walk away. Draco watched him go, and after he had turned the corner he said the password and went into his common room.

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Harry waited about five minutes in the corridor before walking back to the entrance to the common room. He pulled out a hankerchef and various other things from his pocket and transfigured them into a lacy bra, thong, garters and stockings. He smiled to himself and thought, "Showtime." Then he spoke the password and burst into the Slytherin common room.

"Draco Malfoy, how could you?!?"

Draco turned slowly from where he was talking with Pansy, Blaise, Crabbe and Goyle, horror seeping through his veins as he saw Harry standing in the door way, women's undergarments in his hands and a convincingly disgusted expression on his face. Everyone in the common room looked at Draco expectantly.

"Um...Harry. I don't know what you're talking about," he said carefully. Afterall, that was the complete truth. Harry crossed the common room in a few easy steps and thrust his handful of clothes at Draco, who took them, startled

"Oh, a likely story. Recognize these, Draco?"

Draco was so confused. Did Harry think he was cheating on him? With a woman? This didn't make any sense. "No Harry, I don't. What's gotten into you?"

"What's gotten into me? What's gotten into you? I'm not the one who wants to wear women's clothing, Draco," he finished with a pointed stare, and Draco suddenly got it. The common room erupted in whispers, and Draco gave Harry a horrified look.

"You said you were going to do this tomorrow!" he hissed under his breath, and Harry looked at him evilly.

"I lied," he whispered back, and then raised his voice again. "Look, Draco, I can understand that you feel like you're the girl in this relationship. I know you love to bottom for me and Merlin knows you're definitely the submissive one. But wearing women's clothing is just taking it too far." Harry's face became sympathetic and loving. "Look, you have a problem, but I just want you to know that I really care about you. You can always confide in me, and I'll always be here for you." He touched Draco's cheek in a loving manner, and then left the common room as abruptly as he had entered, leaving Draco with an armful of women's underwear and a room full of flabbergasted housemates.

Pansy and Blaise were giving him shocked looks, and everyone else seemed to be edging away from him slightly. Draco panicked. "Look, everyone, these aren't mine!"

Blaise and Pansy exchanged glances. "Draco, it's okay, everyone's got some kind of weird fetish and -

"But they're really not mine, I swear! This is a sick joke that Potter's playing!"

"Draco, how can you blame Harry for this?" Blaise said, appalled. "Haven't you hurt him enough?"

"But Blaise, you have to believe me -

"Really, Draco, you should admit when you need help. You're lucky to have someone like Harry who's there for you."

"Pansy, you don't understand -

"It's okay, Draco. I like wearing women's clothing too. It's nothing to be ashamed of." The whole group turned to look at Vincent Crabbe in alarm.

"Oh God," said Draco, and throwing the clothes at Crabbe in horror he ran off to his room.

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