Hogwarts Idol

Chapter 10: Peter Pettigrew

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Jaina: Welcome back to Hogwarts Idol! I'm your hostess with the mostest, Jaina. And we have some good news folks. The good news is that Ron, one of our three judges from the future, has woken up and is OK! *some scattered applause is heard in the crowd* And the bad er...I mean other news is that Peter Pettigrew is going to be our next contestant! *mutters* Lord help me. *regular voice* And here he is now, Peter Pettigrew!

Peter: *walks on stage in tight leather pants and a colorful, silk shirt with a few buttons open. His hair looks very greasy and bleached. He smiles shyly and waves out to the audience* Hi there. It's great to be here, Jaina.

Harry: *jumps up and points an accusing finger at Peter* Traitor!! I'm going to kill you!

Jaina: *sighing, she points her wand at Harry* Obliviate! Let it go, Harry, let it go. You know he'll do something to help you out in the end because of his Wizard's debt to you.

Harry: *confused* Huh? What? *turns to Ron* Hi, who are you?

Ron: *slaps Harry* Wake the bloody hell up. Let's get this over with so that I may criticize and send people home crying.

Jaina: Don't worry, Ron, you'll have your say in this soon enough. *turns back to Peter* So, Peter, you are a Gryffindor and run around with the infamous group the Marauder's. Though you are not as good of a student as the rest of the sexy boys.

Peter: Ummm, yes, that is correct.

Jaina: Well, I'm sure everyone will love you; after all you are a fan favorite. *mutters* Fan favorite to torture. *regular voice* So, what are you going to sing for us today?

Peter: Er, "She Bangs" by Ricky Martin.

Jaina: Well, that explains the greasy, I mean, slick hair. Hopefully our judges, Harry, Ron, and Hermione will like it and send you on to the next round. Take it away, Peter Pettigrew!

Peter: Er...Hi, my name is Peter Pettigrew and I am singing "She Bangs" by Ricky Martin. *he starts and it sounds more like he is just talking rather than singing*

Talk to me
Tell me your name
You blow me off like it's all the same
You lit a fuse and now I'm ticking away
Like a bomb

*starts acting out what he is singing, ticking like a bomb then making an explosion gesture with his arms*

Yeah, Baby
Talk to me
Tell me your sign
You're switching sides like a Gemini
You're playing games and now you're hittin' my
heart
Like a drum

*pats his legs, very off beat. Some students start to snicker at him and the Slytherins are video taping his performance*

Yeah, Baby
Well if Lady Luck gets on my side
We're gonna rock this town alive
I'll let her rough me up
Till she knocks me out

*tries to dance like Ricky Martin, but just moves his body, very off beat, trying to look cool as more and more people start laughing*

She walks like she talks,
And she talks like she walks
And she bangs, she bangs

*he raises his hands a little and thrusts his hips out a little while Jaina, Ron, Harry, and Hermione start at him incredulously*

Oh baby
When she moves, she moves
I go crazy
'Cause she looks like a flower but she stings
like a bee
Like every girl in history

*the more the students laugh the more confident Peter gets as he moves around the stage trying to 'work' the crowd*

She bangs, she bangs
I'm wasted by the way she moves
No one ever looked so fine
She reminds me that a woman only got one thing on her mind

*he raises his hands again and tries to thrust his hips, while talking and not really singing*

Talk to me
Tell me your name
I'm just a link in your daisy chain
Your rap sounds like a diamond
Map to the stars

*the teachers are trying to cover up their snickers as well. Some turn them into coughs, while other try to cover their mouth. Professor Trelawney gave up all hope and rolls on the floor laughing very hard*

Yeah, Baby
Talk to me
Tell me the news
You wear me out like a pair of shoes

*Peter runs in place as he 'talks' his song*

We'll dance until the band goes home
Then you're gone
Yeah, Baby

*he jumps up and lands on one knee spreading his arms wide as the school laughs and applauds him*

Jaina: Well, just when I thought I had seen and heard everything..... *she walks over to Peter and places him in front of the judges* Very nice er...performance, Peter. The school sure loved it, now let's hear what our judges have to say, Hermione?

Hermione: Ok, now sing for us. Really, sing. Oh that was singing? Well, if it was it was...er...how can I put this in a nice way.... terrible. You won't be going on, I'm afraid. What do you think Harry?

Harry: *glaring at Peter* Well, *coughs* traitor *coughs* that was just downright horrible. Did you even sing at all, dawg? Let me answer that for you. No. And that's the same answer to the question of will you be moving on and will I ever forgive you and will I stop myself from killing you and...

Jaina: *interrupting* OK, enough from Harry, how about you Ron? Even though he's not going on we all want to hear your opinion. *she turned her snicker into a cough*

Ron: *smirking and leaning back in his chair. He takes a drink of his water and clears his throat* Are you ready for this? You were absolutely horrid. I've heard cats screech better than you, supposedly 'sing'. Nails running down a blackboard make a sweeter sound than you do. I would rather endure a performance by Crabbe AND Goyle together than hear you sing again. You are without a doubt the WORST singer I have ever heard, and I've heard a lot of bad singers! There is no bloody way you could ever move on in this competition. *smiling to himself, Ron crossed his arms and nodded to Peter*

Peter: Well...you are just...a big fat meanie! *he walks up and takes Ron's glass of water and throws it in his face. Ron sputters something out and cleans his face off as the crowd cheers. Peter runs back to the stage and lifts his arms as if he was victorious. Hogwarts cheered some more as Jaina dragged Peter off the stage*

Jaina: Ok, "She Bangs" boy, you've had your 15 minutes of fame. Now, how do you feel about being labeled the worst singer Ron's ever heard?

Peter: He's just jealous because the crowd loves me so much.

Jaina: Oh yeah, they love you a lot. *sarcastically* Well, good luck with your future and everything else, make good decisions! *Peter walks out and Professor Trelawney taps her wand on the Head Table*

Trelawney: Excuse me, but I just had a vision of that young man being the first person in this contest to sign a record deal.

Jaina: Yeah right, like anyone would sign him. Anyways, stay tuned for our next contestant. By the mathematical laws of probability we should have someone good soon. Mathematically of course. The students that are going to the next round is: James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Lily Evans, and Narcissa Black. Let's see how the totals are for each person.

James Potter - 1

Sirius Black - 10

Remus Lupin - 3

Lily Evans - 1

Narcissa Black - 2

Jaina: Well, Sirius is certainly racking in the votes, seeing as he is in first with 10. Remus and Narcissa are very far behind and James and Lily are the big losers with only 1 vote. So get out there and vote! Don't just review, vote! And don't just vote, review! I'll see everyone next time on, Hogwarts Idol!